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The ‘fiiiyjz "lactor is somewhat of a. rare bird “in New ork, the flcnrishing state of the drama here, and the high salarirs paid, loading to such competition that onl‘ the best artists can obtain firm foothol in our theatres. It is true that a lawyer of late years, and an actor of ,former days, who tre- oently ‘gave’ a‘ series of ShakSperian per- formances in this and other seaboard cities, was with one acolaim pronounced by the people as King of‘the Dizzies, and as such mooted with applause not frequently heard in the fro-ntof a. theatre, such as the tooting of horns, blowing of penny whistles, inter- sPersed by the throwEng c-f failed flowers and eggs no longer fresh, at the most un- seemly moments. But as I neVer witnessed any performance of the Count Joannes I can give no opinion of his acting. He Was the original Claude Illelnotte in this country, and that distinction, if no other, would seem to cntitlc‘him to at least a. respectful hearing from a well-bred auditory. Some Peculiarities of the Glass, with a Few Notable Exceptions. 1f Sothern had called The Crushed Tra- gcdian The Dizzy Actor, the t‘tle would have been very funny to those of the Ameri- can theatrical profession who are not dizzy themselves. H EADQUAR'I ms or THE “ mm] as. ” Chicago, the metropolis of the great North-west, they tell me, is the headquar- ters of the class of professionals under conâ€" sideration, and so well known is the telm there that a certain popular place of resort is called f“ TheuDjzzy Actor’s Retreat.” ‘The “ dizzy ” is usually of the old school of acting,.aud, as a rule, in the days that are distant, was an excellent artist ; but having been unable to change his style to the plesent, he is therefore laughed at as being an old fogy and old-fashioned. The term includes also many old men who never haire been good actors even before the flood, and sundry young ones who never will be if they live until the next deluge. .b‘llfakspearei being comparatively rarely, played nowadays, and the dizzies having no adaptability for the ever-popular “society- p‘lay,” find it very difficult to get anything to'do,»and are consequently in .a state of chronic “ seediness " and impecuniosity. Like their better off brethren, they are fond of dress, but are little able to gratify their innocent, but frequently expensive taste. Still, in order to have some style about them, they button the last lower button of the dilapidated frock coat, throw out the breast well, and straighten themselves up, their favourite attitude being that so happily caught by Sothern in “The Crushed Tra- gediau,” the right hand thrust into the left side. . Hevwas as fine a poker player as he was bad as an actor. I had an agent to travel The Dizzy also has his boots well shined, though they may be broken; his linen, though torn, is well starched and spotless ; his hair carefully odmbe‘d, and his face clean shavedâ€"in short, all offices which he can perform foi‘ hix'nself he does not neglect, especially that of keeping his face smooth, as he might at any moment (he hopes) be called uponto act a. part; in which he would have to wear false whiskers, 1or otherwise ‘ ‘ make-up. ” Theyâ€"aâ€"comeâ€"a ! ” V\ hen the actors would suggest new read- ings to him, he would 10ftin reply, 3‘ Look at the House" !' "Thére'lén’t standing room in front. fthink my old readings will do well enough.” .,For his first engagements he was utterly drimbfonnded because the audiences “guyed” hiin, but got used to it after a. while, and accepted the popular verdict ; he disarmed ciiticism by avowing himself as the worst star. actor in the civilized world, but he never truly believed that that was really the case. He had a. curious habit of losing his breath between his sentences, and catching it up again with the exclamation of “a! ’ thushfihe would say : and Howavar fierce the sting of poverty may beLv-however heavy the hand of fate may be upon himâ€"the Dizzy nevér doubts his own talent ; if others roll in Wealth while he suffers the pangs of hunger, he attributes it to ‘flluck” which favours others less de- sert-irib of fortune than himself, or to a de- p'rjinarf and; degenerate public taste that can not recpgnizeinor appreciate a good actor when sees one. Notwithstandin , there are instances of terribly dizzy peopfe being remarkably successful. There is a story toll! of a' certain actor who started starring 'a. fer year's agoiw‘ith a “ specialty ” of his owrn‘n‘ the shape of a‘ fearfully and wonder- fully bad sensation piece; the profession could not determine which was the worst, his acting or the play. A mana er tele- graphed that he would give him $500 for one week’s performances. lie replied : - I “Stand 'aside, minibus !’ Maké "rbor'n foi' my‘three-plyâ€"im orted from Lyons, every in‘ch of‘ Bloc ! blood, [ago ! blood I ’_’ “ I‘accept your $500 for the week. Have sent parts and book.” I . ' Back came a. dispatch saying : ' “ Nofimistake~fifty ($50) for the week.” The young star flashed back the answer : “ All right, I accopt $50 for week. Have sent parts and book. ’ ' _ ‘ Time and experience, they tell me, have now mudo a Very fair actor of him. ‘ M’KMN BUCHANAN. (El‘he Worst and most famous as the; worst of dizzy actors was without doubt McKean Buchanan. He used to be a. sugar broker in New ()rléahéZ'ngt“ stage-struck, and “ sailed out” as a. star. He Was a ‘good fellow, witty, well educated, tall; and fine-looking. He had_many frionds, some of whom en- peer man that ever livedâ€"if one might judge by the beaming smiles with which he received the laughter and derisive applause wliiqhgreetqd his. Shakspearean giforts, for Iibthiqig' short‘of' Hamlet, Othgllo, and .such pints; wbuhli’hevap ear in. 1'" ’ “MWardrobE, ’ he would say, “is too good for anything but old Bill.” V And in those Keys :16 one in the West and South had seen the like of his costumes. It toqka mountain of .velvet to make him a, king’s clbak, and in his fearful rushes on the stage, in ,on_e of Othello‘s jealous frenzies, he would say to the actors standihg at the wing : _ ' ‘ " . ‘ . cqura d ~his7gnania a5 a‘; joke, andpthers from_ fndly £961ng » Hg wwo best-fian- 50:5L leu, 0 maid ! some star by us unsccu. 1111140 1 from us in depths of shrlefl space? (.\\"::L .1110“ some jay uflmsn‘j -ys the queen That light}; so sweet a mystery in thy face? Thai. light has t‘ic light, of them who hennâ€" Tint. shepherd choiriabove the babe new born; Upw mi from Him thy (lav id cvcr sent, ;} lug-long kindling?l of the Bethlehem morn. ’l‘lmt into is as the flee of them that bask 1n sumo great i, dings or the face of one \Hln Inc hath Eel. hi4 hand upon some “wk 15} G d ordained, th-w shal‘. for (End be ( one. 0 .Liar 0:1 the breast of the river, 0 marvel of bloom an I gram), Did you full stmight down from hOILVUl OuL < f the sweemst place? Xvu are as white athe thoughts of an (“50' Your he.th is steeped in the sun ; Did you grow in the golden city, My pure and radiant une ‘2 Nay, May, I fell not out of heaven: None gave me my saintly white ; lt slowly grew from the blackness Dmm in the dreary night. Frum lhe ooze of Che silent river 1 mm my glory and grace. White Shula fall not, 0 mv pout ; They rise to the swee'est place. Han outâ€"a.â€" Our annersâ€"aâ€" @n the outward~walisâ€"â€"aâ€"â€" Tfie cryâ€"aâ€" ’ ’Tis~â€"aâ€"heâ€"a! ” “ SEEST THOU, 0 MAID." ( Fly-m VilfixNflw York Biqutch. ) “ DIZZY ” ACTORS. SUCCESSFUL “ mums.” A WATER-LILY. BY AUBREY DE VERE BY M 1'. BUTTE. um 'Tisâ€"aâ€"sheâ€"a ! ” with him who in his business was invalu- ab'c; he had a. thousand virtues and one vice, which vice was that he would rob Buchanan regularly every night of (he larger part if his receipts whether great or small. But the star was too smart to dis- miss so good a. business manager as that for such a trifling weakness which he met and overcame in another way. After the per- formance he would almost invariab‘y sit down with t‘e agent at draw poker, and never fail to win back a'l the money. He used to say “ he had to pay twice over for every dollar he got.” A certain facetious low comedian says that of all modern actors Dr. Landis, of l‘hila- deiphia, is the most wondrously dizzy. He came to New York last winter, after inflict- ing himself occasionally on log-suffering l’lrladolphia, until thcre were signs of riot and revolt in the air when his Mine was mentioned there. He knew he was talented, but was only kept down at home by petty local jealousies; so he came, and at one of the minor theatres astonished and for a time amused its patrons by a round of tragedy impersonations. It is hard to as what he played worst, but probably his male! was the most ghostly thing ever beheld ou‘side of a morgue. In disgust at his lack of sue- ccss as a tragedian, he had a piece got up for him in which to burlesque tragedyâ€"which seemed' to be his strong point. In it he killed evirybody in the cast at least once, and was himself killed four times. Multi- tudes would have rushed with fond antici‘ pation and delight to witness the proceed- ings had one of the four times been real; but as all were, like himself, only sham, people kept away from the theatre, and finally he abandoned the stage in d‘sgust. He" used to drive thevfamousu Count Joannes to frenzy by his challenges to play for the chgmpignshjp.” “ No lkclmger,” replied the clerk, “ than it would any other first-class darned fool ! ” AN AMERICAN GENTLEMAN. Mr. E. F. Thorne was 0' ca acting with a man who was as dizzy in the words as in his art; in reply to every speech he would thrust his hard into the brewt of his coat, and, striking an attitude, a la Sothern, would say, “ I, sir, am an American gentle- man.” which praiscworthy and patriotic statement “as irrelevant, and afforded no clue to the plot of the pl-iy, and was even more vague in furnishing a. cue upon \ihicli to give an intelligent rejoin ler. “ How long," saiti a crushed tragedian 10 a. ticket clerk in a. depot, striking an atti- tude, “How long will it take a. first-class actor to get 10 I’oduqk ? "’ VVearied at list byv the glittering but monotunous generality, Mr. 'lhorne, on h's side,_struck _:1 traggdy p0,ng and responded : “Prove it! Prove that you arc an American gentleman, and I’ll show you where we can make a. barrel of ma" ~y ! " These interpolations into the rightth text will give the uninitiated reader a. good idea of what is meant by the technical term of “gagging. " Very different is the female to the m ile. While he is painfully skirmishingI for forage in the outlying precincts of civilization, she urchases for a. fabulous sum a wardrobe in ’aris, a. 1-iece in London, and “ an opening" in New York, where her “ youth, beauty and talent," are rung the changes on by Ihe press ; if s‘ e is apaue “ society lady,” who has concluded to honour the stage by her )resence, then her “ accomplishments and iterary ability ” become the theme of every ton ue, and in all human probability she is sai to write her “ own play " like the great American champion Dizzy Actress, Anna Dickinson. In every case she has control of money ; most generally it percolates int ) her pocket through that mysterious channel vaguer known as “a backerâ€"that Mrs. Harris of the theatrical Betsy (Jumpsâ€"with the differ- ence in the favour of the Fotheringays of the stage, that “there is such a. pusson, Sary." ~ ~THE great depression in trade now pre- vailing in India may be judged from the fact that there are at present about 150 vessels lying in the port of Calcutta, only six of which have charters for a. fresh voyage ; the destination of the rest is uncertainâ€" thatis, the heights offering are so very low that the owners or agents are obliged to de- cline them. A similar state of things ex- ists in Bombay. A republican journal of Marseilles, calls the new Bishop Mgr. Robert, “Robert” quite short. Spartan style with a venge- ance. \VuEN men, women and opportunity meet the devil alts down knowing that the fire will burn without help from him. The dizzy ramifies through every depart- ment of the histrionic artâ€"from the star to the supe. I remember a dizzy little Dutch- man «at west who was burning to become an. American ac‘or, and could not be madeto understand in those days of predilection for drinking at the “ wc‘l of English undefiled,” that his terrible accent was an impediment to his playing Hamlet and the like. “Ein pote along tor sideL! ” (“A boat alongside ! ”) THE MAN WHO PLAYED WITH FUBREST. In the same theatre was a, lean lantern- jawed cockuey, who, in despair of ever get- ting a syllable to utter, determined one night to attract the attention of the audi- ence and crown himself with glory by in- dulging in some by.play of his own brilliant invention. The play happened to be “Metamora,” with the gentle and lamb- like Forrest as the “big Injun.” Our cockney was one of the (speechless) Indian tribe, and got himself up bravely in red paint, feathers, leggings, tunic, moccasins and a tomahawk. In one of the great tra- gedian’s addresses to the red man, this supe pretended to consider himself as the one red man especially appealed to, and, bursting into a shrill war-whoop in the midst of For- rest’s soliloquy, he rushed down to the right- hand corner of the stage, and wildly bran- dishing his tumahawk over his head, he in- dulged in a frantic war-dance that set the audience screaming with laughter; but his triumph was of‘ brief duration, for, breath- less wiih astonishment and panting with rage, Forrest instantly prepared for action. With one mighty bound he cleared the in- tervening space between the centre of the stage and the corner, and grasped the af- frighted supe by the throat, forgetting in his tremendous passion the character he was impersonating and his surroundings. He shook the man till he shook him on to his marrow bones, and then roared out : In a draxhatization of one of Cooper’s novels he was given just one line to speak, and invari-xbly brought down the house when he bawled out at the 350p of his lupgs : Doctorâ€"-“My dear sir, you are suffering from nervous exhaustion, the result of over- work. Your only choise is perfect rest for six months, combined with the most fault- less diet, the purest air, and the most uu‘ exceptional'hygienic conditions. ” Yatientâ€" “ And how am I to procure these ‘3" ‘ Doc- torâ€"“ I will tell you, As you leave my house take one of m umbrellas with you. There are several in t e hall. I will have you run in before you can turn the corner of the street, and in aday or two you will find yourself in the most ideal circumstances for regaining your health, strength and spi- rits. \Vheu these are restored I will see that your character is duly cleared, and you will be able to resume your most invaluable labours for the good of mankind l” “ Mr. Forrestâ€"Iâ€"” stammered the half- strangled supe, “Iâ€"wa.s honly hacting a bititsu‘.” ‘ No longer of the rank and file, that am- bitious actor has been for many years past the captain of the supes at the theatre: He abounds in reminiscences, usually begin- H here?” fool, what ‘are you doing ‘FWhen me an’ Forest was a, hacting ‘ 'Amlet,’ at the ole ” THE WONDERFUL TR'AGEDIAN. THE FEMALE “ DIZZY. ” A New Panacea. James Donnrelly, the stowaway on the steamship City of Cheter, who reached New York on Friday nearly starved to death by eleven days’ fasting, had so far recovered next day under the careful nursing of the Sisters at St; Vincent hosp'tal that he could tell the outlines of his story. He is a Scotch lad, 20 years o‘d. His present diet is con- fined to brandy and water, with occasional sips of tea, and this will not be valid tor several days. He has two aunts and two uncles living at Marina, R. 1., and it was to get to them that he becnne a stowaway. He had worked as a riveter in ihe ship yards on the Clyde, and latterly in the boiler shops of Liverpool. Find'ng himself out of Work and money, he got a bottle of whiskey, and the day before the City of Chester sailed went on boa"d at Birkenhead. The whis- key he gvae to a sailor, and begged the man to hide him away. The cargo was going in, and the sailor told him to go below where the cargo u as st )wing, The man took the whiskey and afterwards threw the bottle down into the hatchway where Donelly had stowed himself on the orlof deck. This was on the afternoon of Sept. 22. It was per- fect'y dzuk in the ho'd, and he can tell no- thing of days or time after that event. In grop 11g about after the hatch was ut on he fell through the bottom of the hoh . Feel- ing about he (ii-covered some salt meat, but it was so tainted thot he could not eat a mouthful. He then climbed to the orlof de_:k, where he discovered some loose silt; and ate some. of (ourse it made him horri-‘ bly thirsty. He felt no hunger at any time to be spoken of in comparison, but to slake his thirst. he would have given all the world. On what he c includes waa the second 0" third day out he got hold of a barrel stave, and mana ,ed to work it up between the hatch and the combings. He made a‘l the noise he could, and the barking of a dog fol- lowed. The he hcard and felt the dog lay hold of the end of the stave and break it off, and heard shouts of laughter of somebody, evidently amus d at the dog‘s antics. lie shou'ed and cried till he had no voice left, and then he fel' to the deck and became un- consolous. He knew no more of anything until he felt water poured upon him as he lay on the steamer’s deck 011 Friday evening, when l 0 had been locked up eleven days. As soon as he came to, his first senation was a great gnawing at the pit of the stomach, and then his thirst returned. The chief officer of the steamship thinks that the sup- posed sa‘lor was a stevedore connected with on“. of the gangs at the Birkenhcad docks. Besides Donelly, the City of Chester brought over tw.) other stowaways who had crawled into one of the life-b0 its, and, from Monday until Friday, lived on'y upon water, which they sucked by a paper tub : from the reserve beakers. 011 F1 iday hunger compelled them to or le out, and they were set at work scrubbing and s“ coping. Terrible Suffering ot the Youth Found in the Hold 0 an Atlantic Steamshlp of New York. These two are very closely connected. Too closely, some think. Are there not persons to be met with who really know ‘ very little, and, it may be, have a sneaking suspicion of the fact? Indeed, seine very candidly acknowledge their ignorance, and are sorry for it. That ignorance often puts them to the blush. They feel very, vexy small, and wish, oh, how earnestly, that they only knew more and didn’t seem and feel so awfully stupid and dummy. Again and again they determine within themselves to turn over a new leaf. They feel that all is not lost yet : that there is still time to re. trieve in some measure lost opportunity, and to make up for wasted time. They Will read. They will study. They will store up knowledge. Their ignorance shall no longer make them ashamed. They will get knowledge. They will get understanding and no longer will they forsake it. Glorious vis’ons of the exeellencies of wisdom visit their dreams : her preciousne.:s and the hap- piness of the man who ge‘teth her fill their souls. They are intoxicated with the thought of the exultation and promotion that is to be forthcoming. There is no “ royal road to learning." That they be: lieve : and they have made up their minds not to seek for it. Work, work, hard work, after the example of the great and the wise of old is to be their motto. With patient steps they will climb the steep and slippery heights of learning, and will give to all fu- ture generations a striking example of the truth of that old proverb “tis never too late to mend.” History, politics, poetry, t'ie drama, and the fine arts, science, and ineedle work are immediately gone at with a force and determination which Bacon him- self might have envied. A very wilderness of words. passes before the “ chambers of the soul,” a few may even find an entrance into that wonderful receptacle, and a pretty defi- nite conception formed of their meaning. By degrees a wonderful conglomeration is formedof extracts from Shakespeare, house- hold re'eeipts, and wonderful facts of science. They talk in raptures of the delight it is to get up early in the morning, and begin a hard earnest day‘s work with the lark. They are surprised how any one can lie in bed when nature spreads all her "stores of wonder and delight so enticineg before the eyes of the man who has but eyes to see. All this and more than this, but alas ! even in the midst of their inspirations there is the half-acknow- ledged consciousness that they are getting tired of itall. Itisbeginningto bore them. By degrees they lie a little later in the mornings. They talk less about the beauties of nature and the lories of science, and by and by you will not cable to tell the difference between them and bther people. What is the matter? Oh what a fall is here! What has caused the marvellous change ‘2 Has a vaulting am- bition met with the deserved fate of a self- b'erleapment, and a. fall 011 t'other side? Nothing'miraculous has taken place. No- thing morerserious in all probability than an attack, more or less severe, of mental dys- pepsia, just as a boy who has sated himself , with honey says, “ don‘t feel like taking any . more’ just at present, thank you ma’am.” ‘ Now there are such people in the world We believe, people who put forth a real, earnest, praiseâ€"worthy effort to make up for past neglect, and who deserve all respect and encouragement in their attempts, but they don’t always, as has been shown, take the right way, and disappointment and failure often ensue. Some, of course, give up because they are really bored, and from sheer want of strength of purpose and reso- ’luteneas. But many let us; charitably be- lieve fail from attempting to do too much at first. Let none such, however, despair. Let them try again, and go deliberately to work. Let them keep at it, content if they can accomplish something, and not, aiming at universal knowledge all at once or any- thing like it. A little every day of some consistently followed course of reading and future progress will become easy. Self-re- spect will return, and a good acquaintance with at least one branch of knowledge may confidently be looked for. Let no one sit down in contented idleness, and say, “ It’s no use trying.” It is of use. A great many people comfort themselves in the same way as the poor fellow did who said, “ Well, I can’t help it. I must have been born tired, I think.” But other' people won’t excuse them. They know no such thing as in-born tiredness, and are very apt to call it laziness. IT is reported from Goa, the Capital of Portuguese India, that in consequence of the unheafbhiness_ of that phge the Portuguep It is possible that with all a. man’s effort he may never become a world’s wonder. But with ordinary diligence and self-denial he may at any rate be a well infermed; and in- fluential member of society by merely tum- ing to account the time spent by many at the street corners, and by many more at the tavern bar. Government have decided to remové the seat of Government. An Italian journal alludes to the M inistcr of Public Works fovunding a deep sea har- bour in the “ Boisl.(lel3r)log11e"»fan error for Boulogne-sur-mer. Equally good is the French correctionwhichstatcs that Boulogue is on the Atlantic Ocean. Indolence and Ignorance A Stowaway’s Story. “ Jud, they 31y you heard Rubenatein play when you were in New York. Well, tell us all about it.” “ \Vhat, me? I might’s well tell you all about the creation of the world.” “Cyme, now; no mock modesty. Go ahead.’ “Well, sir, he had the bl imecht, big- gest, cathycorueredcst pianner you over laid eye; (‘11. Somethin’ like a distracted billiard table on three legs. The lid was h’islel, and mighle well'it was. If it hadfi’t‘ been, he’d {a-torn the int/ire insides clean out, and scattered ’em to the four winds of heaven.” “ Played well, did he ?" “ You bet he did ; but don’t interrup’ me. \thn he first set down he ’peared to kcer mighty l ttle ’bout play, and wishb he h min t.c'ome. He twecdlc-leedle’d a little on the treble, and ,twoodlc-oodle le-oodle’d some on the bass ; just foolin' and boxiu’ the things jaws [or hein’ in his may. And I says to a man sittin’ next to me, 8’ I, what sort of a fool playin’ is that ? And he says ‘ Hce’sh !’ Bib presently his hands com- menced chasin’ une ’nothcr up and down the keys, like a passel of rats scamperin' through a. garret very swift. Parts of it. was sweet, though, and reminded one of a. sugar squirrel turnin’ the wheel of a cmdy cage. 7‘ ‘Nuw,’ I says to my neighbour, ‘hc's showin’ off. He thinks he’s a (10in’ of it, but he ain’t got no Mac, 110 plan of nothin’. If he’d playmc up a tune of some kind or ()thef, 1’dâ€"’ “But my neighboulj kays ‘ Hee’sh !’ very impertinent. ' “ I 'was just about to git up and go home, bein’ tired of that foolishness, when I hear-1 a little bird wakin’ up away off in the woods, and calling sleepy-like to his mate,’ and I looked up and I see R ibeu was beginiiiu’ to take some interest in his busi- ness, and I set down again. It was the peep 0’ day. The lizht come faint from the east. The bretze blowed gentle a] (1 fresh ; some more birds waked up in the orchard ; then some more in the trees near the house, and all begun singin’ together. People be- gun to stir and the gal opened the shutters. J ugt then the first beam of the sun fell upon the blo‘sSéfns, a little more and it techt the roses on the bushes, and the next thing it was broad (lay ; the sun fairly blazed, the binds sang like they‘d split their little thi‘tafs ; all the haves was movin’ and [lashin’ (liamons of dew, and the whole wide world was bright and happy as a king. Seemed to me like there was a breakfast in every house in the land, and not a sick child or a woman anywhere. It was a fine morn- in’. And I SLyS to my neighbour, ‘ that’s music, that is.’ I “ but he glar’d at me like he‘d like to out my thro it. “ Presently the wind turned ; it begun to thicken up, and a kind of gray mist came over tthings ; I got low-spirited d’rectly. Then asilver rain began to fall. I could see the drops touch the ground; some flashed up like long pearl-ear-rings, and the rest rolled away like round rubies. It was pretty, but melancholy. Then the pearls gathered themselves into long strands and necklaces, and then they melted into thin silver streams running between golden gra- vels, and then the streams joined each other at the bottom, and made a brook that flow- ed sil nt except that you could kinder see the music, ’specially when the music went along down the valley. I could smell the flowers in the meadow. But the sun didn’t shine, nor the birds sing ; it was a foggy (lay, butuuot cold. The most curious thing was the little white angel boy, like you see in pictures, that ran ahead of, the music brook, and led it on, away out of the worl l, where no 'tnan‘ ever wasâ€"l never was, ur- tain ; I could see that just as plain as 1 see you. Then tlze moonlight came, without any sunset, and shone on the graveyards, where some few ghosts lifted their hands and went I over the wall and between the black sharp-top trees splendid marble houses rose up, with fine indies in the lit<up win- dows, and .men that loved ’em, but could never get anigh ’em, and played on guitars under the trees, and made me that miserable I could a-crit d, beceuse I wanted to love somebody, I.don’t know who, better than ;the men with guitars did. Then the sun 1 went down. ‘ It got dark. The wind moan- ed and wept like a. lost child for its (lead mother, and I‘could a-got up then and there and preachel a better sermon than any I ever listened to. There wasn’t a. thing in the world left to live for, not a blame th:ng, and yet I didn’t want the music to stop one bit. It was happier to be miserable than to be happy without being miserable. I conldn {understand it. I hung my head and pulled out my handkerchief and blowed my nose loud to keep from cryin’. My eyes is. weak anyway. I didn’t want any- body to be a-gazin’ at me a-sn‘ivlin’, and its nobody’s business what I do with my nose. It’s mine, But some several glared at me, mad as Tucker. Then, all of a-sudden, old 1 Ruben changed his tune. He ripp’d and he rar’d, be tipped and tar’d, he pranced ‘ and he charged like the grand entry at a circus. ’Pesu'ed to me that all the gas in the house was turned on at once, things got so bright, and I hilt up my head, ready to look any man in the face, and not afeared of nothin’. It Was a. circus and a brass band, and a big ball, all goin’ on at the same time. He lit into them keys like a thousand of brick ; lie giv ’em no rest day or night; he set every liven joint in me a-goin’, and not bein’ able to stand it ‘no longer, 1 juinpt, sprang onto my seat, ‘and just hollered, ‘ Go it, my Rube ! " "vi/Every blamed man, woman and child in fife houae stared at me, and shouted, ‘Put him out! putrhim out 1’ Put; your great-grandmother’s grizzly, gray, greenish cat into the middle of next. month 1’ I says, ‘ Tetch, me if you dare ! I paid my money, andfiyou'ju'st com? a-ni‘gh' me.’ ‘1With that some several p’licemen run up, "and I had to simmer down. But 'I would a-fit any fool that laid hands on me, for I was bound in hear Ruby out or die. He had changed his tune .agin, He hopt, like ladies, and tip-teed fine from eend to ecndef the key board. He llayed soft and low and so'cmn. I heard t e church bells over the hills. The'candles in heaven were lit one by one; I saw the stars rise; the great organ of eternity began to .play from the world’s end to the world’s end, and all the angels went to prayers. Then the mu- sic changed to- water and began to drop, drip, drop, drip, drop, clear and sweet like tears ref joy fallin’ into a. lake of glory. It was sweeter than that, it was as sweet as a sweetheart sweetnin’ sweetness with white sugar, mixt with powdered silver and seed diamonds. It was too ‘swcet. I tell you the ':audience cheered. Ruben he kinder bowled, like he wanted ‘to say, ‘ Much obleeged, but I’d rather you’ woqldu’t inter- rugl; me.’ ' * 7“He stopped a minute or two to fetch breath, Then he got mad ; he run his fin- gers through his hair, shoved up his sleeves, he opened his coat-tails a leetle further, he drug up his stool, and, sir, he just went for that old pianner. He slapped her face, he boxed her jaws, he pulled her nose, he pinched her ears and he scratched her cheeks till’ she fairly'yelled. He knobked her down and he stamped onhel‘ Ashameful. She-bel- lowed liké a bull, she bleated like a calf, she ho'fided like a hound, she squealed like a pig, she shrieked like a rat and then he wouldn’t let her up. He run a quarter stretch down the low grounds of the bass, till he got clean into the bowels of the earth, and you heard thunder gallopin’ after thunder through the hollows and caves of erdition ; and then he fox-chased his riglit hand with his left, till he got way out of the treble into the clouds, whar the notes were finer than the points of cambric needles, and you couldn’t hear nothin’ but the shadders of ’em. And then he wouldn’t let the old planner go. He foa’ard-twod, he most over first gentlemen. cros’t over first lady; he balanced to pards ; he chassade rightâ€"left, back to places ; 110 all hans’d aroun’ ; ladies to the right ; promenade all, in and out, here and there, back and forth, up and down, perpetual motion, double and Jud Brown's Description Thereof. Rubenstein’s Piano Playing. twisted an! tied down, and turned and tacked and tangled into forty-’leven thou- sand mixtery. And then he wouldn’t let the old pianner go. He fetcht up his right wing; he fetcht up his left wlng ; he fetcht up his ccntre; he fetcht up his reserves. He fired by files, he fired by platoons, by company, by regiments and by brigades. He opened his cannon, siege guns down thar â€"Napoleons here, twelve-ponnders yonder, big guns, little guns, middle-sized guns, round shot, shells, grapnels, grape, canister, mortars, mines and magazines, every livin’ battery and bomb a-goin at the same time. The house trembled, the light danced, the walls shnk, the floor come up, the ceilin’ come down, the sky split, the g ozind rockt, heavens and earth, creation, sweet potatoes, Moses, ninepencei, glory, tenpeuny nails, my Mary Ann, hallelujah, Samson in a ’simmons trie, Jeroosal’m, Tramp Thompson in a tumblercart roodle- oodle-oodle-oodle-oodlc-ruddlc-nddle - uddlc- nddle-uddle-radclle-addle-adulle-addle-addlc- riddle-iddlc-iddle-reetle-eetle-cetle-eetle- eetle-eetleâ€"p-r-r-r-r-lang ! p-r-r-r-r-lang ! per lang! per plang I p-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r lang ! BANG I “ VVibh that 111719 I he lifted himself bodily into the air, and he came down with his knees, his ten fingers, his ten tens, his elbows and his nose, striking every single, solitary peg on 1hat pinnner at the same time. The thing busted and went off into seventeen hundred and fifty-seven, live hundred and forty-two hemi-demiâ€"semi- quavers, and I knowcd no mo’. When I come two I were under ground about twenty foot, in a. place they call Oystu Bay, treat- intar a. Yankee that I never laid eyes on be~ fore, and never expect; to agin. Day was :L-breakin’ by the time I got to the St. Nieh’las Hotel, and I pledge you my word I didn’t know my name. The man askel me the number of my room. I told him. ‘ [[045 music on the half alaellfor two !‘ I pointedly did.” We ‘know of nothing more aggravating, for insiance, than to sit in a room with the gas turned down, your sweetheart beside you, and, right in front, watching your every move, that demon of mischief, the small boy, her brother. He spoils all your good sayings, turns all your witticisms into fun, criticises your appearance with the most delightful candour, and drags forth your peculiarities and infi‘mitiesâ€"which he takes a. fiendish delight in disc )veringâ€"in a manner th'l‘l': is most exwperat'ng. It is utterly impossible to carry on a courtship under such circumstances. The sweetest courtship-that ever took place would have been destroyed by the hateful presence of the small boy; and although Adam and Eve hadn’t any courtship worth speaking aboutâ€"in the modern sense of the wordâ€" we are inclined to think that “ the serpent ” is only a figure of speech for the small boy, although it might possibly puzzle some folk to account for his presence in the Garden of Eden; as, if we mistake not, Cain didn’t make his appearance until after his parents had left the garden. And a pretty speci- men of a small boy he was, even supposing he didn’t have his sister’s young man to trouble and annoy. If the small boy had been in paradise, there would have been no need of an apple. He would have done all the inisehiet that was required. Among the, many miseries of this most miserable life, one of the most poignant is the small boy. How on earth the small boy ever manages to grow beyond that period is a. marvel, for he commits so many sins, and is the cause of so much cursory language on the part of others, that did he get his deserts he would never ap ear as he often does, as a large boy, or hobb edehoy. The sma‘l boy is as a general rule, an imp of ilfschief; and th's is a rule 1hat has no exception. His 0‘ ject in life appears to be to make people generally as maul as hatlers, or March hareswwhich, as everybody knows are the madd st beings in creation, though why, is an interesting question wh'ch we cannot just now stop t) discuss. The small boy is ubiquitous. \Vhen you think he’s here he’s there ; and if you fondly imagine for a. moment that you have him, so to speak,undereyour thumb, ou’ll find him, sure as fate, behind your Jack with his finger to his n0;e. It is simply useless to try and be patient with him ; he is one of the crosses of life, and we can only grin and bear it. One of the most aggravating forms in which the small boy is to be found is that of your girl’s youngest brother. When he happens to be in that proud position, he is master of the situation, and can dictate what terms he pleases ; unless, indeed, you declare in favour of war to the knifeâ€"in which case heaven help you. All the fiend- ish malignity of his nature breaks forth in aseries of annoyances that only the most Christian fortitude enables you to bear with patience. Toronto Wire Works, 116 King’sueet West, w 11 The Toronto Steam Laundry, Toronto, is now preâ€" pared to execute all country orders for laundry work on the shortest. notice. Goods can be sent, from this town any time up to Wednesday, and have them re- turned the same week. Merchants and storekecpers. will find it makes a great difference in the sale of their goods to have them properly dressed. Goods a‘ittlc shabby by be» ing in the slore can be dressed "quill to new and bring abetter price. We pay all cxmess chargeswne way) on goods sent. us.’ Heads of families will find that by sending their washing to Toronto they can get them «lone cheaper and better than at home. We return goods same week as we get them. Ad- dress for particulars, G. I’. Sharpe, Toronto Steam Laundry Toronto. Language fails, however, to describe all the amiable qualities of this interesting specimen of humanity. He must be seen to be appreciated; and if he is appreciated by the reader as he is by the wnter of these lines, he will not be rated very high. It must ever be a source of poignant regret to all right-thinking men that any of us ever were small boys. A Coven, a cold, or a sore throat, requires immedi- ate attention, and should be checked, It allowed to continue irritation of the lungs, a. permanent throat disease, or consumption, is often the result. Hag- ym‘d's Pcctoml Balsml, having a. direct influence on the parts, gives immediate relief. For Bronchitis, Asthma, Catarrh, consumptive and Throat Diseases, the Ba'sml is always used with guolsucw-s. For sale by all dealers. A noticeable feature iii the small boy is the marvellous capacity of his stomach and his pocket. He can stuff both with the most. miscellaneous collection of articles that can be imagined, and yet survive to create further mischief. Lively as a cricket, hardy as a. Polar bear, nothing seems to affect him, except, indeed, the want of some one to play his infernal pranks upon. This, however, never troubles him long, as he makes a. victim of the first person he may happen to see.” THE most absent-minded man was not the man who hunted for his pipe when he had "t hc‘" (: 'v ' i t 0H), rm the 01m who‘threw his hat out 01 but: w1udow and tried to .hang his cigar on apeg ; no, but the man who put his umbrella to bed and~went and stood up behind the door. FI’L’ES For all purposes of a family Liuimcnc, Hagyard’s Yellow Oil will be found invaluable. Immedi We to» lief will follow its use in all cases of pain in the stu- mach, bowels, or side : rheumatism, colic, colds. sprains and bruises. For internal and external use. 11* has no equal in the world for what. it is recom- mended. qu sale by druggists at 250. per bottle. l. THE VICTORIA SYRUP 0y HYl’Ol‘llOSl‘lllTES is. prepared from the eliginal formulal of Ihe discoverer, Dr. Chunhill, of Paris, with ‘such ulian‘ e and improve- ment as the combination of scienti 0 research and lengthcd experience has suggested, and while being specific for the preventi »n and cure of lung disease, stands urpamlleled in efficacy as a remedial agent 1n the many diseases depending on want of nerve tone and blood purity. For sale by all dealers. IF you wish to appear atyotu' beat during the approaching festive season, procure your Shirts, Gloves, Ties, &c., at Cooper’s, 109 Yonge St, Toronto. ‘ N0 wormJncdicines have given such universal salt isfactwr as Freeman's WOlm Powders. OLD WiRE wmnow GUARDS Beauty and. Economy. Recut at 40 per cent. less than new. Also 2L large stock for sale or exchange alt: Nonhqud. ‘ Business 1tems. Small Boys THOS. GRAHAM, 35 Shorbuurne St“, County and Towns} ip Colnwils wii] findit to their admntagc to renew Wooden Bvidges with Sutst-mtial and permanent IRON STRUCTURES. Plans and Estimates furnished (ln‘applicalion t0__ D I AH Only one in‘mch Tm’vnship.‘ Send for circular. (58 Mary St, Ha iltnn [hing zfifi'uenfic -n'cn to [final rrap 1 s y My for nffims opening ill the Dominion. ‘Avidrcss, 1§l \NAGEK, Box 955, 'uronto. Made ‘)y Agents selling our Rubbcv‘ Printing Stamps for Banking and General business purposes, etc, StencilCombination and the Adjustiblc Stencil, St.ch Stamps, also STAR AUGER .Km; Ea. f0; In Family fonts, in several dificra nt. styles. Best In duccments. Catalogue free. Address 82 Kiiu: S». West, Tommfr. 'FLOWER STANDS _ ’ A lsrgc assortment. TORONTO WIRE WORK‘S lflfiing Stred West, Toronto. W. H. RICE A m sell our Rubber Printin‘ Stam‘xs. Also the Ad'ustablc Stencil Letters. Catalogue free on ap li- catmn. STEVENSON & Cu , 82 King street W051, Toronto. CHROMUSâ€"Dxll and 8x10. A 1H,, m amt.th for the canvassing Lmdc. Lowest pnccs yet. Frames to suit. II. J. M.\’ ‘TllEWS & BRO , 93 Yougc St.. Toronto. e),UUU um PIERCE WELL AUGEQ,’ the on- ly one that bores successfully in hurl pun, quiuksand, and nmongs1 boulders. Size 6 in, to 36 In. Home or Lpowcr. Tools and rights for sale. IIUL’l‘ & 00., fiiQQQ ENGINES AND BOILERS. This Machine is for lighting private dwellings, mills, factories, churches, public halls. hutcls, on; Call and examine the machine in operation . L J. W. I‘IULLIPS, sole manufacturer, plumber, and gas [it- (fills, 15$ Yaljk slireet. '1‘ H E Canadian Air Gas Machine! Isstill Unrivallcd, and guaranteed to make Whiter, Lighter, and better Btead than any othur Powder. Try it. C. M. PUI‘NEY, Pnox‘mmon, Montreal. Upon the completion of the Railway (which will be in the Aulumn), a considerable portion of the tunic of lhe Townships of F109, Tiny, Tay and Medonte Will be concentrated at this point ; and from the quanti~ ty of rich Agricultural Land in the above-named Townships, now to be purchased at low prices, it is safe to say that no other Section of this Province will increase with more rapidity in wealth and popu- lation. As the Village of Saurin is the centre of this new and fertile district, parties desirous of participating in the advantages of early settlement. should at once secure good business locations. The lots will be sold on very reasonable terms, and par- ties buildinLr at once wi 1 be liberally deslt with, Plan; and all other infoi'znation Euhplied updn up plicution to JOHN DICKINSON, ‘v I ATSON & IIAGGAR'I‘â€"B \RRISTERS, ATTOP- llcys. Solicitors in Clrmcery. &c., ollicc 30 .-\dc‘aide Stroet East, anont.» 0am. Eye, Ear and Throat Diseases.- and Ear Diseases. Txinity Medical School, Eye and Ear Surgeon to the Andrew Mercer Eye and Ear Infirmary (Ganeml Hospital.) Treats Eye, Ear, and Throat Diseases at, 146 BAY SIX, TORONTO. An estimate can be formed of the trade likely to centralize at the Village of Saurin. from the fact that, it, is centrally situated, and distant from the follow- ing important places: 18 miles Ndrbh of Burie; 16 miles South of Penetanguishcne; 20 miles West. of Orillia ; 18 miles Easy ef St '11er.“ 29 King Street. East. "Residence, 183 Chumh Street. Termite," THE Vienna Baking Powder Farm lots in Dysarb and other townships. Town lots in Haliburtuu, to which village the Vic boria. Railway will, it. is expected, be open for trafllc on or before lst October next. , .Apply to C. J. BLOMFIELD. Manager Canadian Land and Emigration 00., Front-street East. Toronto Important Notice to those desirihg to purchase Choice Lots for Business purposes, and Sites fo‘r Residences in a new and central locality. Merchants, Millers, Tradesmen, Mcclmnics‘ Deniers in Grain mm Timber, Farmers and Professional Men, should at once secure a. Lot, in the thriving little Vil- lage of Saurln (formerly Elmvale). the new business centre of North Simcoe, situated in the Township of Flos. on the line of the North Simcoe Branch of [he Northern Railway / now being rapidly constructed). PRIDE : $ I6.00 NORTH SIMGUE RAILWAY. Sénd for circular and price list. Civil Engineer, Barrie. Barrie, J unc 28th, 1878. IRON HIGHWAY BRIDGES! THE HAMILTON Bfllpguun TOOL COMPANY, ST, CATHARINES, ONT. Sole manufactures for the Dominionof Canada. Send for Price List. . ET GENTSâ€"9REAI LN nycam tints R. A. ALT, LECTURER ON EYE ALIBU RTON COUNTY. @fififi Changeable Rubber Type H. THORNER, More Work. Better Work. Less Power Uniformity in r Temper R. H. SMITH & 00.. D-E.NTIST. OPENING OF THE DER. "Ecér ifilfiFTfi-Afket.’ 'Tiniw no othcn ONTARIO BAKING POW- From 1 to 13 Horse Puwcr, for Farâ€" mers, Dairyan, Butter and (110050 Faclorics Printers and z.1| punks us‘nq hand or L0 so pnwc . Bcét an I (hfapcst- in the market. Send for ci' culnr and prim list. A YEAR MADE WITH John Doty, gufes 20 ft. per .hgu' 'ULII' EVERY ' uunw TORONTO UH. C. C‘ STEWART & 00., Toronto, Ont. corxxér King: 8: Yungc Sts., Toronto Esplanade Ste-cot, Tn'éFréGTUAllY CURE I:\Irnv NEVER FAILS ‘oxomo‘ Arc Superior to all othons ( THE "SIMONDS’ SAWS A.JAMESON, Méhargr‘ief,qHam11ton, Ont. BUILDERS OF WHOLESALE WUUDENWARE Pails, Tubs, Washhnards, Ulnthes Pins, Brushes, Matnhes, Brooms, etc. Our MATCHES are manufactured of the best se- Icum l Cork l’inc. Ask your grocer fur the following brands only :â€"M. a «1 1". Ext” ; 'l‘oroum Telegraph ; Rod Ligllth:n;. 'lhcy are neatly packed in full I; X‘s, have a stung, steady flame, and are almost od‘uurluss. Damp will not aficc them All our BR )OMS are ma. ‘0 by smam power ; andl bc‘ng machine wound, the h Indles will not ge‘ 10085. Capaci y, 150 51:) caper day. MANUFACTURERS. \VAREIIOUSES~31 From. St. East, Toronto, Out. 52 College St... Montreal. Q. 'Tubé' and Paillsrziréraiétinguished by 11 R81 and Blll'C’IIO‘OII) (our Trade M ark ) Washboards are of superior manufacture. bmnded Star. Crown, and Globe. They are neat, durable, mnl the best boards in the market. ALL GROCERS keep them. FACTORIESâ€"Toronto and. Pene- tanguishene, Ont. for the Dominion of Caquda, awpliuations will be m. ccivcd for agencies in all cities and tuwusuutnow repro Rented. ‘ HAMILTON, CANADA Have gained an almost world-wide reputation 10‘ their perfection in every respect and great dumbil ity. OLD MAN’S WOue hundred diflcmut styles and sizes to chum Irom. An illustrated price Hat free on application FANGY GUDDS' DEALERS. l4 A" (,) I! ['1‘ ID, None Genuine With- out Stamp. Pillow, Hersey & 00., will therfefore be’ a «Mutand each Ke entn‘él‘y fr'ee from DlUST, 80:55) fiLlVERS. ang HEXDLESS NAILS, (thefebv ensu ‘ to the CONSUMER. at least 2 to 5 POUNBS Menu of perfect Nails tothe Keg than those made by other makers in Canada. By the old system of packing Nails (still .pmctised by another Nail manufacturers in the Dominion, and until lately by American manufacturers, who have seen the abstr ‘lute necessity of using the Coyne Picker to sue- tain the reputation of their Nails, and, now use that device only), every Keg is filled with the whole pm duction of the Nail Machine, and averages to each Keg 3 to 5 Pounds of Dust, Scale, Slivers and Head- less Nails. It must then be clear to Consumers that they are made to pay for just that quantity of worth- less scrap, whereas by purchasing Nails selected by Coyne 5 Automatic Picker there is a clear saving of from 12 to 1.5 cents per Keg. We invite all to test the result for themselves by pickin over a Keg of our make and_ that of any other ma er. Every Large amounts in the aggravate are lost every year by Fa/mners alone, as we“ as families general- ly, in not having a' carrect and reliable weighing scale. Respectfully announce to all Dealers, as well Consumers of Cut Na. ls,‘ that they have pur- chased the SOL-hi RIGH Plfor the ' Dominion of Canada, to use AUIUMATIB NAIL PIGKER of aux-make and that of any other maker. Ever Keg of Nails made by us will bears. GREEN 0R RE LABEL, and in order to secure’ the advantages named, see that. everv Key is labelled, “Selected by Ceyne’s Patent Automatic Picker." WULTZ BROS, __ &co., WflLTZ BROS. & 80., American and Swiss Watches. WATCH-KEY, SC ALES M0 MURRAY & FULLER. Always ask for Coyne's Machine Picked Nails. D’) MINION STAN DA RD TO MERCHANTS Gold and Silver Cases. Gold and Silver- Ilcwded Canes. J. S. Birch 8L Go’s I’Mcut Self-Adjustable GURNEY &. WARE. CUT NAILS ! ADDRESS, H. W. Hutton & 09.. COYNE’S PATENT Nail Manufacturers, GURNEY 8L, WARE. SMOKE DEALERS 1N That will wind any watch. MONTREAL. MAN UI'AOTURED BY THE AND THE 14 King; Stregt Wfst‘ 33.713 ffigh Keg enhn‘ély V Ulmmmv. Ont‘ TO'I‘DII to. Toronto.