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/ -In Sardon's new play there is one scene, ' where two gentlemen from the Archipelago are both introduced under the name of the Vioomta de Ohattillon. They regard each other I huionsy, but when they find \that the eyes of me company are fixed on them, one finds that 113's homonyn is the Vic mte de Ghattil- ; ""‘astr Seine. while he is the Vicomte de yillon sur home. They are, of course, {518‘ and they embrace tenderly. /'\«__i' e richest person to-day upon the Qaniiwich islands is Claus Spreckles of Hono- y‘lnlu. A few years my.) be was laughed at / when he purchased 10,000 acres of land for ten cents an acre. as the tract was at the foot of an extinct volcano, and amend with a crust on the surface like a flagstoue walk. He broke up this crust mixed the dust with 9. ~ small quantity of vegetable moulu,thoroughly rrigdted the soil thus termed, and planted fugar cane. To day he is a millionaire. 5 â€"-An extraordinm'A amount of capital is jbeing invested in sheep and cattle raising in i â€"To the " literature of cranks" may be ,Qdded some curious atatmtics recently comâ€" pilbd in England. showing the extent of men- )tal aberration among. the membera of various gprqfessions and trades in that country. «i‘ -â€"The Rev A. W. Wild. of Leacham, Vt., replying to a. charge of pulpit plagiarism, said it had long been his habit. as of other pastors 5110 have clippings from newspapers com-tnutly J on hand for free use, and he didn’t propose to i, abandon it. x â€"-In rummaging amonget the prefectoral "\rcbivea a. departmental funqtjonary has dis Ewred that Mlle. Christine Nilason was not in in Sweden, as thelegend says. She was nirn at St. Etienne. in the depanment of the >oire, of Swedish parents. -5 Memphis tinman is beginning to think that there is something in spiritualism an“ all. for he has been offered $1,000 for an old clock which has lately taken to strik- ing 1;} an unconventional and mysterious V manner, answering, according to an accepted code, All manner of impertinent questions , which visitors ask it about their future pros- 2- {pacts ind welfare. L _A¢urious question in criminal: law has " been rpised in Btl‘lln. A young woman‘ who is a, oenfirmed opium-ester, lor the purpose of oktaining a. supply of morphine, copied j a prepaription from a. medical book and sign- ed tha name of a prominent German physi- 'oian to it. The question now to be determin ed by the courts is whether this constitutes the “me of forgery, for which she has been arraign‘d- ,iiiu drehiPlen‘res that the current mice of Eahzmt is 12 500f.; of a. royal :iL’er. 7000f. ; rhinoceros, 13 DOOR; of a camel, 2,000. / ‘â€"-A ladies’ four has lately been seen on the Let at. Oxford. in England. manned. or *her womanned. by students of the High #001. Among the fair crew is the daughter r,' us of the professors. e’gAt a game dinner in Chicago thirty-eight 3 68 of wild fowl Were serve-d, and the bill liture also included black bear, mountein deep. buffalo, at telope, bisom elk, rabbit, huirrel, woodchuck and possum. “ â€"-Richard Wagner has left Bayreuth for ,italy, intending to pass the winfier at Salerrm bu account. of ill health. Later on he goes to Greece to complete the studies for a, new l‘musical work on a classical subject. --Silk culture in Louisiana has of lake be- come a. thriving industry, and to-day pro~ 'miaes an abundant proflucliou, The mulberry 'tvees have escaped injury by frost, and the silk worms are increasing in quality and num- bers handsomely. â€"The remark by a. venerable member of the Trenton, N. J ., School Trustee bourd,that married ladies as a rule were the best tench era, was the means of preventing ‘he adoption of a moxion requiring the resignation of all munin lady teachers. â€"Superstitious people predict that the ‘ Gambettn Ministry will cause great evils to France. It was formed on the 13m of the l month, an unlucky day, and when presided ‘ over by M. Grevy thirteen gentlemen sat round the green table. â€"A great great-grandson of Danton has bsoribed five floiius towards the monument - Wh,‘ is to be erected to his famous an- ' This descendant of the member of ' ~nvsmion is Aloys Emile Danton, an in the Austin-Hungarian army. , -1} an album of auiographs Alphonse Jr_}ll1£i‘s..\writlsn: “ The first half of our 1 ves we pass in deririug the second, and she second in regretting the first.” In the same album Alexander Dumas has written, “ What is duty? It is when we exact of others." â€"-The Electrical Exhibition, which has ‘ ' ' is; (infers, is estimated to have M 01 400.000 francs, and ‘lziw’mway, running from the de la Concorde, has shun 84 000 passengers , s it has been running. nk and file set down in stimutvs for 1882 83 is: 330,629 ; m the Saxon, ‘1 Cuba. Including the horses and mu es owned l by the planters, it. is calculated that the value “31 the cattle of all some in the Txinidud Valley manuals to $2,000 “00. Oman care is being ""‘pwed upon the breeding, and the impor- zn of sheep. cows. and bulls is increasing fly. no lees than $1,000 head having been blivered from England and the United States “\Oienfuegos alone in a single Week. #119911 4 area i 'pr, which 1mg $921, yielded an (TIC; appears frt ,ziiu des Plume hhant is 12 50( .- k afi Nice of the approaching e Crown Prince of Mcnacc ass of Richelleu, nee Heine. I unced that Mile. Croizette is ve up the stage and to regulariza ‘ I osition by a marriage en rpgle. ‘ 1’. area in what is called the New 51', which largely supplies London with for, yielded an income last year of $12,000 About a. year ago the Louvre in Paris, snowy escaped being burned down‘ in con ‘guence of a. lamp having been left. too near curtain by a member of ono of zbe house- plda privileged to occupy a portion of the hildings And a. inw days ago, at the Lux- inbnrg Palace. about a. hundred of the hoicesr. pimuns Were badly damaged by was“ ‘ rough the Stupidity of a servant girl, who d left a tap turned on, calming the emire iling and walls of the Salle to be flooded tb watzr, and seriously injuring the pic fires. It. will be several months hk'fOI‘B the ‘pwm and its contents can be reopuued to the ablio. ‘5 â€"A hitherto unknown portrait Ioi Luther ma recently been discovered in one of the old CBwitches of Leipsic, which is conjectured 19 come from the family of Luther's goon, Paul. It bears on its lower man he words: "D. M. Luther. aetat, XLIX 2. Restaurabor Libk‘l‘lalis Evangelii,” auo one upper oomer mo flaming suns, winh the inscription: Vox dei vera lux.” The picture is stamptd upon gilt leather. It is in an axcellent state of preservation, and is said to be both a good likeness and a fine workof art. â€"As an instance of the great abundant» and variety of game and vermiue in the vasx country of New South Walva, Colonies and India. quotes the shooting list of Mr. Haw thorns, one of the best shots in the colony. who has been striving his utmost to keep down the fauna of the country, which are inimioal {Kb THE WORLD to the interest of the squmtera. Mr. Haw- thorn’s bag consisted of 5.372 kangaroos, 1.418 wallabiea, 257 wallaroons. 118 dingoes, 362 Wildcats, handicoots, and rats, 204 eagle hawks. and 167 snakes. The leng‘h of time over which his campaign extended is, un_« fortunately, not stated. â€"»Mr. Crawfurd. the well-Jmown English turfman and husband of the dowager Duch- esu of Montrose, is suffering with a. severe affection of the throat. The Duchess has lately insisted that he shall entirely give up smokingâ€"no small deprivation. as he has rarely been seen without. a. cigar in his mouth. Mr Crawfurd possessed one of the largest And finest collections of rare and old cigar in the world. These were all sold by his wife in one lot to a wellâ€"known tobacco: nisfi in Band street, London. at £10 per hundred, who got rid of them within a. week to a German prince at £20 a, hundred. â€"â€"Bussell McCoy, Chief Magistrate of Pit-i cairn island. is in San Francisco. He asserts that his dot of a country is inhabited by ninetyâ€"six of the happiest persons in the world, The climate is delightful. the growth of fruits abundant, and the conditions of life genemIly comfortable. His own office is a sinecure, for there are no disputes of conse« quence, and lawlessness is unknown. The people are communistic to a degree, sharing their goods freely with the needy. and divid- ing the land equitably. He drolares that non? of them would leave the island. â€"The Rev. Mr. Frothingham, the Free Religionist, who has recently admitted that he can find no consolation or rest in mere nega~ tions of religion, is the son of a Boston Unitarian clergyman. It is a strange coin- cidenca that Capt, Adams. son of the Rev Nehemial Adams, of Boston. a, strict old school orthodox divine. who from his defense of slavery twenty five years ago,beca.me known as “ South Side " Adams. has renounced all his father’s doctrines and publicly proclaimed himself as 3 Col. Bob lngelsoll sort of an infidel, who has got tired to death of the old doctiines, and has only found his happiness in getting rid of all theological cramps and weights. .n 1 - n,l:. 7. v-5...“ â€"Tne municipality of Granada, in 8031 n is soliciting Government aid in the establish ment wt a magnificent School of Fine Art. which in to o my out a. cherished project of Furtuny’a Fortuny, Who drew so much of his inspiration from the loveliness of Grana da, was always of the opinion that the city of the Alhambra ought to be made the center and home of Spanish art. Nowhere elae could a Spanish artist obtain a. training so racy of the Bull. and no other town. in the great painter’s opinion. united so many ad- vantages for artistic study, combining as it does beauties of hill, plain and architecture in an extraordinary degree. It ought to be nude. he 11in to Bay, the Rome of the Span- ish art students. 1' r ‘W"";'w"' , " ""â€"-’1‘he estimate 161' the Gemini: budget for embassle and consulates is $659,000; vT-hi's includes 7 gmbassies, 12 gunsulatee general 27 consulates‘ and 5 vice consulates. In the time of Frederick the Great and his father, the Prussian Minister in London had about $3,000 a year. Now he has 845,000 and one of the finest mansions there, at a rental of not less than 37.200 a year. Up to Bismarck’s time Prussia was not represented by ambas- sadors at any court. and until Bunsen went to London, about 1845, the Pruseian Lega- tion was on a modest scale. Prince Bismarck has made a splendid representation abroad a. feature of his policy, and his ambassadors now vie in splendor of appointments with those of Englahd and France. . ~The great lumber producing regions of the Northwest are divided into three distinct districts, known as the Mississippi Valley district, the Eastern Michigan and Huron shore, and the Lake Michigan. The first named embraces the territory drained by the Misaiesippi. St, Cruix. Chippewa, Wisconsin and other rivers, produced last year 2,000,~ 000,000 feet of lumber and 960000.000 shingles. The second district, including the Green Bay shore, uheboygun. Manietee. Lud ington, White lake, Muskegan, Grand Haven and Wolf river. yielded about the same amount,while Eastern Michigan, taking in the Saginaw Valley and Huron shore, pro duced about 1,100,000,000 feet. Although there has been an unusual cutting in the Saginaw Valley, the greatest increase this year ie in the Mississippi Valley. VOL. XXIV. â€"-Boston is troubled over the probable action of Congress upon the proposition that is to be presented to it, to discontinue the Charlestown Navy Yard and sell the property for railroad termini and other commercial purposes. Tue Yard, Whlch was established in 1800, coveis more than 80 acres of ground, and the sale of it would undoubtedly benefit Boston in sewrel important respects. It would add largely to the taxable property of the city, and it would render possible the construction of the long-wxshed-for bridge to East Boston. 011 the other hand, it would inflict some loss upon the social and indust- rial interests of the city and destroy an inter- ‘ esting laud mark of past generations. Local ‘ opposition to the sale of the Yard, however. will probably be based upon other than sen- timeutul grounds. â€"â€"Apropos of the love of Yorksiremen for betting, 21 Sheffield (England) paper tells the following story : “ A Sheffield minister noted for his long sermons was gratified to find two notorious betting men in church three Sun- days in succession. Like the policeman 1D the chorus. he could not understand it all ; but he thouglmin hrs duty to inquire into the change which had come over one ()1 them. who was a pa'rishioner. So he called upon him. and touud him in high spirits. ‘ The preacher expressed hlS pleasure at seeing him in church, whereat the parishioner laughed hearuly, and said he was glad, too, for he did a good stroke of business that time ! ‘ A good stroke of business 1’ re- peated the puzzled preacher. ‘ What do you mean 7’ ‘ Mean! Why I bet Jimâ€"â€"- five quid to twenty that you would go on for forty minutes every time. And you did.’ ” ‘ â€"A gentleman was standing the other evening in one of the shadowy arcades otthe Coliseum at Rome, when he was somewhat bruesquely huetied by a passing figure. With a quick instinct, he clapped his hand to his watch pocket. His watch was gone! He darted after the thief, who turned sharply round, at the same time clutching a, watch. “ Give me that watch 1” A dashâ€"the stolen property was recovered. The startled robber dieappeared, and the gentleman went home to boaSt o‘f'his adventn’re‘end’his prowess. What was his consternation, on entering hie bed- room, to find his own watch. which he had forgotten to put on, staring him in the face from the mantlepieee ! He had been the thief, and the other wretched man had stum- bled over him in the dark, and when overv taken and stopped was merely clutching his own watch. which he had not the nerve to rescue {mm the tourist. That tourist is now known to an admirmg circle of friends as the Bandit of the Coliseum. â€"â€"A well known German manufacturer of mice. wares. Herr Raphael. of Breslsu, now makes mics. masks for the face, which are quite transparent. very light, and affected neither by heat nor acids. They afford good protection to all workmen who are liable to be injured by heat, dust or noxious vapors, all workers w1th fire, metal, and glass mel- ters, stone masons, etc. In all kinds of grinding and polishing work the flying frag- ments rebound from the arched mica plates of the mask without injuring them. These plates are fixed in a. metallic frame, which is well isolated by means of asbestos, so as not to be attacked by heat or said. Where the mask has to be worn long it is found desiraâ€" ble to add 9. osoutebouc tube, with mouth- piece, for admission of fresh air; the tube passes on to the shoulders. where its funnel shaped end, sometimes holding a moistened sponge is supported. â€"A mania of suicides is at present preva lent among both officers and men of the Ba- varian army. Less than three months ago a cavalry Captain at Nymphenburg put a bullet through his brains, and a few weeks ago the commanding Colonel of the Sixth Infantry Regiment at Amberg fired a pistol shot into his heart. An artillery Lieutenant at Munich and a young Lieutenant of the Fourteenth Infantry at Nurnburg shot them- selves With pistols, and news has just been received from Vienna that a Bavarian Lieu tenant-Colonel committed suicide in a bath- ing establishment. and at Munich a. Major has just followed this example. At the same time suicides are rapidly increasing in num- ber among the rank and file. The night sentinels in the Turks’ barricks at Munich shot themselves with their rifles, and three sergeants have done the same, respectively at Nurnburg, Landau, and Igolstadt. A telegram from Munich states that another officer has just committed suicide, making three cases in the week. â€"On the 1st of January next the letting of convict labor by contract in the penal in- stitutions at California. will cease. When old Gov. Perkin assumed the duties of the executive oflice he applied himself to the task of discovering or suggesting proper em pleyment for the convicts which should not work an injustice on the skilled laborer. His conclusions were embodied in 9. message to the Legislature, and the latter at once made appropriations for the erection of buildings and the purchase of machinery necessary to carry out the new plans. The buildings are now up and the machinery in. and on Janu ary 1 the Warden of Sen Quentin will put 1,500 prisoners to work on the machinery oi jute begging and bags. of which there is an immense consumption on the Pacific coast. Millions of these bags are imported annually. and only an insigniucant number are manuâ€" factured, principally by Chinese labor. Thus. under Gov. Perkins‘s plan, this industry in San Quentia will compete with no free white labor. while it Will supply an article in con- ‘ stant and large demand. §fl§§i&firjifi?fiohaޤe [ht his own, sadism sevewcge, iwvfimfihe . - ‘ On getting home and putting his hand in the pocket.~he drew out a pawnhroker‘s ticket. I: was his own, held against his watch. The nice new cost was the old one which he wore there the first time, and which had been cleaned, pressed and sold to him again for about twice what it was worth. Another of these tricks â€"which every one except those on whom they are played enjoys so muchâ€"â€" was recently played on a German innkeeper by n peddler who sold him an almanac, and then, on“ his wife's coming in and her hue band's going out, sold her another "copy. When the husband discovered it he sent the porter to the railroad station to tell the pad dler he wanted to see him on business. HOh, yes,” said the peddler. “I know, he wants one of my almanacs. but I really can’t miss my train for that. You can give me a. quart. er and take the almanac to him." The porter paid the money and carried a third almanac to the inn keeper. A Man Who was Fed Seven Months Through a Hole in His Stomach. From the St. Louis Republican One of the most remarkable surgical op erations ever performed in America, is de- scribed in a paper written by Dr. Frank J. Lutz, surgeon of the Aleian Brother’s hos. plifli. The subject, E. Hunecke, a German tailor, fifty eight years old, who resided on Somh l‘enth street, commenced thuly, 1880, to experience considerable difficuly in swal~ lowing his food, which grew so serious finally that he had fainted several times irom the pain. On October 27 be con ulted Dr. Lutz. who, after examination, fou d an incipient stricture of the lower part of the lower part of the esophagus. probably malignant. He advised the patient, who was very intelligent and of a philosophic turn of mind. of the nature of the disease, and itsinevitsble issue â€"death by starvation. It was explained to him that his life could be prolonged and made comfortable, but that his disease was not curable ; and after the difierent methods by which he could be fed ware explained he pronounced in favor of a. gastric fistula, which, being interpreted, means nothing more or less than a hole cutinto the stomach, through wh oh the food he could not swallow could be introduced. The operation was per- formed by Dr. Lutz assisted by Drs. Weasel- er, Hickman and Fuhrman. A two inch in- cision was made imo the stomach, and stapped with a plug of oarbohzed gauze. After eight days the wound had healed by granulation, and food was introduced through the opening three times a day. After food, whether solid or liquid had been thorv oughly masticated and insalivated by the patient, he spat it into a rubber tube, through which it was conveyed into an opening. Dr. Lu'z observed that as soon as the patient began to masticate his food the gastric juice flowed freely through the fistulous opening. By’ this means he was kept alive for seven months. long after the ulcer of the esOphsgus had made itimpossible for him to swallow anything, fluid or liquid. He died finally of exhaustion, compiaining of a violent thirst, which nothing could quench. With a single exception life was sustained longer in this instance than in any of the kind on record. â€"â€"A Manitoba paper says: Temperance advocates are said to be getting hopeless over the chances of enforcing the Scott act in Portage la Prairie. â€"-â€"An old salt, when asked how far north he had ever been, replied that he had been so far north that the cows, when milked beside a red-hot stove, gave ice cream. -â€"The Emperor of Austria and the Czar of Russia are to meet soon. Following the oustom of the Governors of the two Carolinas, Alexander will say to Francis Joseph, “ It‘s a long time between explosiona.â€"N. Y. Twinkle. A REMARKABLE CASE. RICHMOND HILL, THURSDAY, DEC. 29 1881. Difficulties in Making 8. Proper Selec- non. “ Say. my dear,” said Mr. Spoopendyke,as he finished reading a. letter he had just re- ceived, “my brother, out West, wants me to buy a razor shop and a suitable present [or a young lady. and send them to him.” " I didn’t know that a. razor strop was a. suitable present for a young lady,” replied Mrs. Spoopepdyke, who was busy mixing catnip tea, and caught the remark imperfect- ly. “ It would be a. suitable present for some married women. if it would sharpen ’em up any,” retoxted Mr. Spoopendyke. Who said anything about a. razor shop and a young lady 'I What I observed was that my brother out West wants me to send him a razor strop and a present suitable for a young lady. Now, I can get the strop, but I don‘t understand what kind of a. present he wants.” _ -. 1,1,- “ Let me seeF;'};1:1§;d Mia. Spoopendyke, her shopping instincts risingKto the surface. “ Does he say what kind of a young lady she is ?" ” No, he doesn’t,” roared Mr. Spoopendyke, " He leaves something to the imagination of the reader. I suppose she’s got arms and legs, ’cause if she hadn’t he would probably have mentioned it, What he wants is a pre- sent for an average woman; now, what can we get for her !” .. . 1‘ 1. u‘ -‘ If I knew whether she was a blonde or brunette, I could tell béttet what she would like," replied Mrs. Spoopendyke, who, like the rest of her sex, always associated 9. wo- man with the color that becomes her head. “ Do you suppose he means something for her to wear. or some ornament for her house? You see I don’t know whether she keeps house or boards or lives at home." “ What difference does that make 2” deâ€" manded Mr. Spoopendyke. “ Ski‘s’s probably ahuman being, but we will suppose she roostsinatree. Does that help yOu any? Can you think of something useful for a female who lives in a tree and hops with light hearted skips from bongh to bough like a crow ?” “ You might get her a toilet set.” sug~ gested Mrs. Spoopendyke, taking refuge in a woman‘s one idea of an appropriate present for another woman. " She don’t want a toilet set ” snorted Mr. Spoopendyke, “ any more’n she wants the umcken pox ? You want to think of some thing that is pretty and at the same time that rhe can use. Now think I” 7‘3 How would one of the new painted porceâ€" Iain flower pots do ?" ventured Mrs. Spoopen- dyke. “ D0373 want ii,” snifatMr. SPOOpendyke, contemgmoualy. " Yau‘ mean that son of thing 1; m: a girl always btx'n‘gs out’flter tea. and says: 'That’s ms. and that‘s pa, and Ihat’s Aunt Vin and her little boy. and that’s Uncle Si, and that’s Aunt Flo, and that’s Uncle Jess. and that’s my niece Nellie. ain’t she sweet ? And that’s a dog we used to own, and I don’t know who that is, and that’s Clara Morris 1’ Don’t want it." And Mr. Spoopendyke’s voico rose to a. steam whistle pitch. “ S'pose I'm going to inflict a. eufier- ing public with a bookful of old singers that all look alike and have been in every album since Adam began to wear pantaloons? Can’t ye think of something senmble 7" n“ ‘ 7“Wouldn’t a half audozen folks be nice?” faltered Mrs. Spoopendyke, almost at her wit's end. " Just the thing,” gasped Mr. Spoopendyke. *‘ Half a. dozen pitehforks and a. load of hay. Then you might throw in an eight day hen- coop and a hen climbing over the back fence I You've got ideas about such things l All you want is a chin whisker and a. chimney to be a Santa Claus ! With your intelligence on these subjects, you only need a. stick and a glue pot to be a. toy shop ! I’m going to buy the present myself I” and Mr. Spoopendyke shot out of the house and tore down the street with his head sunk in his shoulders, and his fists in his pockets. 77hr: an ham: he returned all grins and tossed a parcel in hiuiwife's hp. a I“Now. my dear. whét do you think of that. ‘2“ he asked cheerfully: 7 Mrs. Spoopendyke opaned the parcel and disclosed a huge crimson silk handkerchief that would have made a tabernacle tent for a. camp meetmg. 7“ How did §ou some to think of it ?" she asked, holding it upisidmigingly. ‘- Why." replied Mr. Spoopen‘dyke. " he said in the letter that if I couldn’t think of anything else to get a handsome handker- chief. Here it is," and Mr. Spoopendyke draw out the letter triumpnantly. “ But he don’t say hafidkercliief. he says a. nice handkerchief ring ! Here's the ring on xhe next line.” said Mrs. Spoopendyke mildly, pluming her thumb on the supple- mental word. “ Gash the gasted woman I” he howled. “ Why didn’t he Wrim plain 7 Why didn’t you tell me before what he wanted? What did you let me break my neck to get this flag for when he wanted the ring? If I didn’t have any more sense than you’ve got I’d put broken glass on my head and hire out for the back fence of an idiot asylum !” And Mr. Spoopen'dyke dove into his chair. and snared luhtily until bed timq. " Anyhow," thought Mrs. Spodpendyke, as she put the handkerchief away. “ I can find out where he bought it and trade it out for match safes and lingerie for the baby, and by the time he gets a. strop to suit. him I will be pretty well fixed out for stockings and hairs pins.’[ 7 7 I And Mrs. Spoopandyke fired another charge of catnip into the baby, hashing its startled cries as Mr. Spoopendyke, fast asleep. slid out of his chair like a. load of ooal.â€"-Brooklyn Eagle. PRESENT FOR A LADY. “ Dar am sebeml kinds of people which we dosn’ want in dis club,” began the old man as the meeting was called to order. “ In de fust place we doan’ want do man who tinks hisâ€" self so very good do: he am allus' ’spectln’ to feel de Wings of angels sproutin’ on his shoulders. We should hurt his feelins’ in heah, an’ he wouldn’t feel a bit at home. I like goodness, but de wen-y, werry good man has skipped out so often wid de bank‘s money or his naybur’s Wife dot I should allus feel obliged to keep an eye on him. If I should leave a dollar on my table an’ Samuel Shin alone in dd hall. I should feel sartin dat de ‘ money would somehow work into his pocket. Dat’s bekase I know him, but do good man would lay low and stick up his nose at sioh THE LIME-KILN CLUB. trifles, an’ wait to aurike do hall some night when I’d forgot f0 }ook de gate dosh. “ In (16 second place we dosn keer fut men who can‘t hear (19 sound of a. fiddle or see de Jack of Spades widout feelin’ dam Satan am gallopin’ ober de airth like a runaway hoes. A man commits no mo’ sin in dancin’ den he does in walkin’, an’ as fur keerds de evil was be hidden behind de picture. Me an’ de ole woman hev been playin euohre fur nigh onto forty six years now. an’ we hev neber felt dat we had to ask forgiveness. I eat apples an’ order her up, an’ she sings one of her ole slave songs an’ shows me both bowere en’ de joker, an’ I lat sn’ she late an’ I take my desl. “ In (19 third place, we dosn’ want do men who feels dat he can’t squeeze into Heaven if he goes to de opera pays his way into a. air- cus. or happens to have a. seat in de street- car ’longside of a man whose hoes kin make 2:30 widout a. skip. I believe de majority of us pay our debts. love our wives, bless our children, keep de Sabbath an’ live sober lives. 2311' he who ’speots much inrder of any man am too sanguine for us. A,,1 _ :.. 'uv nu... .....v -V “ Let no man scoff at rellgion. Only de fool am an atheist. Dsr’ am a God an’ :5 Heaven an’ a blessed eternity fur de good. Remember, however. that all (19 goodness am way dawn in de heart. De lips may preach an' pray an’ de heart be vile. De body may neber be seen in church, but de heart kin be pure an' good. A man kin sit in church an’ plan a murder, or he may go to a boss race an' reap no sin. Let yer own hearts, instead of de voices of people, warn you, for do right am agin de wrong.” The janitor fired up the stove anew. the band struck up, Go Meet Thy Mother-in-law, and it was generally remarked that; Sir Isaac Walpole never looked sweeter as he passed the bean box. The following candidates were unanimously elected: Old Man Gray, Uncle Snow, Sunshine Smith, Gen. White Absent Davis, Desirous Brown. Samuel Plover, Elder Greenslude and Standback Millet. ONLY AN ILLUSTRATION. At this juncture Samuel Shin suddenly arose and inquired if the President really meant, in his opening speech, that he would steal a. dollar if left alone with it in the ball. If so he was ready to tender his resignation. “ Dnan’ be so fast, Brudder Shin," replxed the President. “ I simply held you up as an illustrashun of a plot. If you war’ left alone heah wid a dollar you wouldpf course, put de money In your pocket. Sartin you would. Dal; Would keep it from (18 rats or burglars‘ an’ at de nex’ meetin’ you would turn it ober to the Treasurer.” EESOLVED. . Wavdowu Bebee then offered the follow- mg : “ Resolved, That the action of the Congres- sional Globe, in refusing to publish the weekly proceedings of the Lime Kiln Club, proves the existence of a, govern mam conspiracy to keep the aeneral public in ignorance of the questions of the hour.” vaote wee then taken and the resolution prevailed, Elder Toots being the only one who voted in the negmive. The Secretary read a. note from the libraâ€" rian. stating that he had secured a, copy of the President's message. out out all the long words, corrected the grammatical errors. and put in enough outsxde matter to hold the im- terest of the reader, and such of the members as desired to peruse the same would find it in the library. The Secretary announced a letter from the Secretary of the Colored Cadavers, of New Orleans, offering to remove to Detroit and go into partnership with the Lime Kiln club in the erection of a seven storey hall. The See- retary was instructed to reply to the efient that the club did not desire any partnership and that it had already secured plans for a hall of its own. BETTER 60 SLOW. “I hold heab in my han’,” said Brother Gardner as he raised it aloft. “ a letter from a oull'd puseon at Montreal informin' me dat he has named his las’ baby arter me. Dat letter am only one outer fifty which has come to han’ in de las‘ three months, and de time has arrove I feel like axin’ de cull'd peo- ple to go slow in dis bizness of namin’ dier ‘ ofishoots. Our race has been George Wash ‘ lngtoned and Henry Olayed and Gineral J aoksoned to death. I wouldn’t name a child arter Moses or Elijah any sooner dan arter Grant or Hayes. If Sam or Jack or William am too plain. doan’ put a ring in de child‘s nose by callin’ him Fitzwilliam, Do Forest or Alfonso. I believe in old family names, like Giveadam, Waydown. Whalebone, Sunset, Spicobaok. Articulate, Hammerfelt. an’ so on. If anybody names a child arter ‘ me dey mus‘ not only run the risk of bein’ ‘ bum: fur murder. but I want it understood dat I shan‘t forward any cats or dogs, or colts, or redwagons as presents.” OUR HEALTH. Prof. Selection Smith, Chairman of the Committee on Public Health, reported as follows: 2. Peopie who do not desire to ketch small pox should carry (13 wish bone of a. chicken in de hind pocket.» A 1. It am now time to dissolve partnership wid linen pants my white Wests. » 3 Pussnfis troubled wid cold feet should pm more whiskey in der butes an’ less in deir stomacka. 4. De way to harden a boy am to send him to shale in de winter Widout flannels or ober- coat. By nex’ Spring he will be so hard dam de undertaker can’t. bend him. 5. Avoid sudden shocks, excitement. draughta an’ exposures. Keep 69 went shut: as much as possible when out doahs or in company. All business having any general bearing upon the future welfare of America. havmu been concluded, the band struck up, There’s a. Land That is Hotter Than This, and while the sweet strains floated among the rafters. the procession moved out into the cold and cruel world. -â€"The idea. has become prevalent that young ladies who practice tight lacing are fast. This is an errnr, as they are usually the most stayed among their sex. -â€"-The French Ami-Tobacco society has for several years given prizes for the best essays on the pernicious effects of using tobacco It has just been discovered that nearly all the prizes have been taken by the same person writing In a disguised'hand, and that be is a confirmed smoker. who has spent his prize money in the purchaée of the choicest brands of cigars. N0 PARTNERSHIP. A KINDLY MAN. ELECTION. THE GLOBE. M Teefy The late Commodore Vanderbilt was a pom boy; born on Staten Island, New York, and died worth seventy million dollars. In 1862 he presented to the Government a new steam- er which cost him {$800,000. His son is now building a series of private residences for himself and children, in New York, at a. cost of $5,000,000. .. ,v we-“ The Beaten Daily Post has been established fifty years. Mr. Shillaher (Mrs. Paniugton) graduated in the otfice of the Post. He war. in the habit of seemg in the editorial room George Bancroft, Horace Greeley, Mr. Peter Fessender. Franklin heme, and a. host of other distinguished men. .1- CULLINGS BY THE WAY. v".-. “WWâ€"5..” 7 The greatest. cotxon raiser in the world is Mr. Edward Richardson, of Mississippi. He raises cotton, gins. spins and weaves it. He owns 52,000 acres of land. and last year raised over 12,000 bales of cotton. He raises 36,000 pounds of seed cotton every year. from which he makes oil at the rate of 35 gallons per ton. and oil cake which brings him $7 per ton. Mr. Richardson is Worth from fifteen to twenty millions of dollars. Wife beating has been greatly in vogue in England, but in France one husband seems to have been a victim. A gentleman in Paris slapped madame in the face, when she avenged by sewing him up in the bed clothes. In this condxtion she pounded him to her heart‘s content with a club. A Frenchman has devised a scheme of making money, which is certainly original in its way. He has purchased a. barren waste in Algeria upon which he will build a grand hotel, this hotel he expects will be filled on account of the attraction â€"â€"lioneanu panthere. He will lure them by old horses and mules, and when they dine upon the animals they will be mercilessly slaughtered. A new society journal has been started New York. With the mle of The Town. It is to do for the new world what the London World and Truth are doing for the old. The gossip with which those journals are loaded down is not always reliable, and certainly is not. al- ways as correct as it might be. Mr. Gladstone, says one of the society journals, breakinsbs at. halfâ€"past nine, works until lunch tune, after which he takes a long walk. A& five o‘clock he has ten and works until after seven; and goes (0 dinner at eight. [a should have meniiuned the exact time the English Pzemier goes to bed. and. when he rises. A boy was painting the railings in front of ahouse in London, a. pet dog run between the railingsâ€"at least so said the boyâ€"and came out a. green color, the original being white. The owner of the dog, a. lady, saw the boy at work and concluded that he had painted her pet, end she straightway descended iuto the street, and seizing a brush painted the face of the buy until he fairly howled. The lady was arrested for assault and fined ten Shillings and costs. Miss Dvckinsou begins her lhreatened tour on the 2d of January next. When she W111 appear as Hamlet 8.! Hartford ; as Hamlet. and Claude Melnotte she will wear her hair snort, but; will not. disguise her face. As Macbeth she will wear a mg and whlskers. Mr. Walton, the famous Amerijan backer of American horses in > England, is a. hotel keeper. 3938 said to‘ba’we Wpli in all duriqg the pwat fuein‘g‘ s‘egpon 1|ng SEWDUO‘. Tfle wou‘MODOO ,0" $11536. hdrgg, Fotnazuwt‘ ” , the ‘hlrd...,v 0’69: _ "113'. , , . ‘ , , The Queen‘s rfimgwlggnogmkselmnp years. Queen Elizabeth's-reign was. ‘3‘ Hum . 3 V ’ X ovgr 4; yggn. - . 7 ¢ .- ... - ,r WHOLE N0. 1,231 â€"-NO, 83, I: wag Mrs. Moneys. ihe sister-n! the Baxoa ness Burdette Counts, who brought the suit in reference to the fortune paesmg under the will of the lace Duchess of SI. Albums. The duchees was the well known actress. Harriet Melliu. who married Thomas Counts, the grem banker in 1815, and as hIB WldOW marâ€" ried the Duke of St. Albane in 1727. She died Aug. 6. 1837. Mdlle Schnelder, the famous singer in opera boufie, has been married to Uount de Bionne. Sue Sold her house in Paris a. few months since, for $200,000, and turned her jewelry into hard cash. Her great character was The Grand Duchess of Gurolsneiu. A strange and fatal accldeut happened to the Rev. F. Ould, M. A , Vicar of Holy Trinity Snutzry bridge, Eng. He was rldmg a bicycle in the street, when. fearing a colhsion With a lurvy, he jumped off, and In doing so fell in from of the wheel‘s, receiving the whole Weight of the cart on his body, from the effects of which he died. The commander of the Rodgers sent in search of the lost Jeanneme, Lieu: Berry, is a young man who held a high position in Washington socirty. He is as brave as he is generous. The Washington Capital has the following respecting him : “ Juan before he sailed I met him al. a. reception; a lovely Weslern girl was talking to him, looking up at him with eyes that mighu make any man loth to go on a cruise. him said, ‘Ii‘s horrid! What are you going for?’ and he answered in quiet Way: ‘ If, after three years of hard- ship and suffering, I should find one man of the Jeannette’s crew alive to bring home, I would be repaid for everything 1 had endui' ed.’ That {he gallam aéilul"s eif was Will be crowned with success is the earnest wish of all who know him. M185 Anne Dickinson was: educated by the Quakers. and an eleven years old began to write versos. She has long been famous as an advocate of Women’s Rights. and 18 an able speaker. She has wrmen much, and is expected 30 appear in one or more of her own plays. She will perform in the principal cities I f the United States, and only in male characters. All her costumes haw been made in Europe. whither she goes in the spring to fill engagementsmhe firsn being at, the Crystal Palace, London. Anew mode of bribing in elections has been adopted in Colorado. In Denver two candidates were running for Mayor,one a Republican, the other Independent. The colored vote could not be relied upon. and the indications were that the Independent candidate would get the largest share of it. Two merchants bet live hundred dollars on the result, and the It puhlxcmu announced through the papers that if he Won he would give the money to the colored church of Denver. He did “in, of course. and oliclted from one of the colored preachers the promise that the colored brethren would con- unne their support to the R -publica.n party. A diner out‘i’s said to have‘ryhmed off the following; lines. exprewiva of his feelings on being called upon for a speech : Howard Pnultells this story about Mr. Charles Dickens and his manager, Mr. George Dolby. when he was in the United States. The manager had anything but a delicate stomach. and could do agood deal in the way of “ liquoring up." Some one and to Dickens, " What a treasure Dolby is in this direction.” II‘L‘he novelist replied: “ Ah] wth to‘him’g thy. pqppingpgrk, The foaming glass, the loaded fork ‘2 What 1: l him this merry clatter ‘2 He can empty pate 11hr platter. erl he know; these dainty bits Make fat ribs â€"but bankrupt wits. Therefore fasting like u sinner. Dremii 51 that which follows dinner, He tries to think ‘hut. bhiugq \vuu’n work. When called he rises with a. jerk, ( , And, dazzled by tho sound and sight, He wonders how he gut so tightâ€" Fur everything goes swimmuig round He speaks he (1‘ nesn’b hour u. Swund, And what. he says he cannot tellâ€"â€" ” Quite right; I engaged Dolby’s stomach as well as his head, and his fine old British interior and magnificent holding capacity have saved me many a. headache.” The latest dodge was played off in Phila- delphia recently. 'A gentleman went to dine at one of the clubs, which he found quite full, whena man who happened to know that his particular failing was being absent- minded, came in very hungry. The waiter told the newcomer there was no room at present. Seeing his absent minded friend seated and reading his newspaper an idea struck the hungry man. “ Has Mr. A. dined?” he asked. “ No. sir," said the waiter. " Well, never mind, take him his bill and tell him he has had his dinner.” The waiter hesitated, but soon appreciating the situation went over to Mr. A. and handed him his bill. “What is this for?" asked Mr. A. “ For your dinner, sir.” " My dinâ€" ner, ah! Havel really had it.” “ Yes sir." answered the waiter. “ Dear me, I had an idea I was waiting for it. What a curious mistake." With a contemplative smile Mr. A. saunteer out of the room, leaving his table for the use of the genius who had profited by his absent mindedness. A writer in Scribner’s Monthly refers to an occurrencein 1836.in which Maeready.the great tragedian, played the most important part. He says: “ One evening after playino part of Riohard III, and being forbidden to con- clude the tragedy, Macready‘s patience sud- denly failed him, and he inflicted upon the notorious and ridiculous Mr. Alfred Bunn a. sound thrashing Mr. Bunn was at the time lessee of Drury Lane and Covent Gardew Theaters. and Mt. Macready was under an an engagement to him to play for a. stipulated amount. In his workâ€"The Stage, Both Before and Behind tke Curtain," Mr. Bunn thus narrates the encounter 9.1- luded to z “ On Friday, the 29th of April,I was sitting at my desk a few minutes before nine o’clock. and by the light of a lamp. so shaded as to reflect on the table, but obscure the room generally. 1 was examining bills and docu- ments, previous to their payment on the fol- lowing morning. when, without the slightest note of preparation, my door was opened. and after an ejaculation of ‘ There.you are villain. take that, and that.’ I was knocked down, one of my eves comnletely cloeed up, the an- kle of my left leg, which I am in the habit of passing round the leg of the chair when writ~ ing, violently sprained. my person plentifully sailed with blood. coal oil and ink, the table upset and Richard III. holding me down. On my naturally inquiring if he meant to murder me, and on his replying in the affir- mative, I made a struggle for it, threw him off, and got up on my one leg, holding him ‘ fast by the collar, and finally succeeded in getting him down on the sofa, where, muti- lated as I was, I would have made him re- member me, but for the interposition of the people who had soon filled the room Had I had the remotest idea of the visit. I should not only have been prepared, but not very particularly alarmed for the result, because I was most ready to return 3. blow, And wou‘xl not brook at all this sort of thing, In my hot youth â€" when George the third .wes The Trials and Tribulations of a. Pastor’s Life. The clergymen. ch11dren,ia probably the most; carious specimen In our collectlon, Elia whole’buumers consists in «n endeavor to make men good‘ not thinking, alpirumly, [but if all were good he Would have to go out of business. The clergyman has other dutie, such, for instance. as engineering fairs, making oyster stews and lemonade. and cunng 1. ve sick people by joining them in manage. r~~rr~ A clergyman is also expucled to make the rounds of his parish weekly. this is not. a. very onerous task It does nut take all of his time. He has a few hours eaéh week for sermon Wrilink avid sleep. / ’ figoiglgép while.- fhe olergyrv' ‘fifepgting vhis‘dfitmom. may Wfikfl " / thanjtlt‘ir that they should . I, an. e we, QM’R’O' L» ‘ if 051;, '{RHey‘geuemlly‘ keéb their eyes open ‘dfl? m; up: service. New bonnebs sré worn “to ohumh. M . , 'irfiéfifiifi‘ymn {a pfid’for pmying, for poo. pie Who Would‘ never think of praying for themselves. They know how much praying for they need, probably, and shrink from un- dertaking the task. The clzyrgyman is supposed to know every- thing. and yet everybody in the congregation thinks he kno we more than the clergyman. If the clergyman sticks to religion. pure and simple, the congregation complain that he gives them nothing new : if he touches upon living questions, they accuse him of preaching politics. . ...i.. -. If the clergyman does not visit his parish- ioners every day or two, they say he is a very poor paste: ; if he makes his visits regularly, they soon discover that he is a. very poor preacher. (Virffihei extemporizes, they complain that his discourse is ramblmg; if he preaches from notes, they say any foql 09.9 d_o th’t. _ nvvxvy "nu www- _._ _,4. fl 7 If a. clergyman guys buivlittlfierait g funeral, he is called cold and unsympathetic; if he says much. he is accused of gushing. The clergyman is the last person many a man would help support. and he is the last man many ask a. lavor of. He is not called in till the funeral is appointed. A man who nevei helped pay the clergyman while alive cannot be expected to give him anylhmrg when degd. If a clergyman does not keep abreast of the literature of the day, the congregation say he is behind the tune ; if he gives them an epitome of the best thoughts of the best writers, they accuse him of plagiarism and stealing. If a ‘élergymau preaches short sermons, he is ECCUs‘dd of laziness ; if he preaches long sermons. the people vote h1m (vedlpps. If he dresses like ether peop'e, his appear- ance is mid to be unministeriul ; if he dresses in somber black or done a while choker, he is charged with affuommion. If hé‘busies himself an the fair and social, it is said thwt he had batter put more time in his sermons , if he gives his whole time to his sermons, he is said to has poor worker. The clergyman, it is said, lives on the ignorance of mankind. If this be true,he should have the best of living ; but a good living is a dlfficult tbmg for a clergyman to get. U When you grow up ._ children, if you would be rich you should all be clergyman, but it would be better to Iry something else first. â€"Gurdinal anerin played cards on his death bed, when so weak that his hand had to be held bv others. â€"The compound lens microscope was in~ vented by the Jansens, spectacle makers, in Middlebury in 1590. â€"â€"Am<mg the Greeks of the time of Homer, the Dorian tribes were characterized by the broadâ€"brimmed hats which tuoy wore when on a journey. â€"â€"Sir John Mandeville whe wrote a book of travels is called the first. prose writer in English literature He died In 1371 at beige, Belgium. king. ~In the will of the Countess of North- ampton, m 1356. she btqueathed to her daughter, Countess of Arundel, “a bed of red worsted, embroidered.” â€"-In 1531 the wandering bands styled gypmes Were so numerous in England that an act was passed to bmnsh them from the realm on pail: of imprisonment, and confiscaâ€" tion 9f property: ~- One of the first modem kings who pos- sessed the accempllsnment of writing was Pedro I. of (Tmtile. styled Pedro the Cruel. He dxed in 1369. His signature is preserved on a treaty. “ Yo, el Rwy.” I. the king. â€"The town of Yaxmuum, by an ancient ohnracter, was obhgeu to send one hundred hermiga baked in twenty-four pies or pasties annually tojhe kin3._ TEE CLERGYMAN HISTORICAL.