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“Now, suppose we were at a wedding breakfast and our speech has got to be delivered in airy, light fashion, but must terminate seriously. We say: ‘I am suddenly called up, sir1 and am indeed not â€"â€"â€"not prepared to-day. I was not expect- ing to be called up, sir, but with what effect I may I will add my shout to the jubilations of this spirited, stirring occa- sion. Matrimony, sir, is after all the palladium of domestic liberty (great laughter) by it, approximately speaking, we may be said to live and move and acquire our being, all that we have been, all that we are, all that we hope to he, was. is and must continue to be h the Subllmest of the mighty interests or men. Thrice glorious matrimony.’ ” (Laughter.) An Oration That Fits Either in Wedding, 3 Funeral, a Political Meeting or Even a Dinner of Boston Puritans. A Boston despatch says : Mark Twain was one of the speakers at the banquet in Music Hall last night to celebrate Fore- father’s Day. He responded to “ Post Prandial Oratory,” and said : “ In treating of this subject, a. subject which I have long been familiar with, and may be called an expert in observing it in others, I Wish to say that a. public dinner is themostdelight- ful in the whole world to the guest. (Laughter.) A public dinner also is the most- unendursble suffering in the whole World to the guest. (Laughter.) These two facts don’t seem tojibe, but I will explain : “ Now, at a public dinner when a man knows he is going to be called upon to speak and is thoroughly well prepared, got it all by heart, and the pauses marked in his head where the applause is going to come inâ€"(Iaughter)wthat man is simply in heaven. (Laughter.) But when at a public dinner it is getting way along towards the end of the things, and a man is sitting over his glass of wine or his glass of milkâ€"â€" (laughhflmncumding to tbn kind of lmn. quet it is, with somebody at his elbow bothering him with talk and talk about nothing, that is just as nearly in the other place as can be. My scheme is this, to carry in my head a connected and tried and thoroughly and glibly emphasized speech that will tit every conceivable occasion in this life, fit it to a. dot and win success and applause every time. (Laughter) Now, I have a fitted speech of this kind and have brought it along as an example.” Tvg’ain then ghowed how such a. speech is appropriate at a. wedding breakfast, a granger gathering or atheological assembly or a. political blow-out or an inquest or funeral anywhere in the world, simply by changing a word here and there, making his delivery tearful or languishing, chirpy and facetious, or luridly and thunderously eloquent, turning himself loose. “ Suppose We are at a granger gathering,” said he, ” and are suddenly called upon. We come up with some lively hesitancies and deferences, so as to give the idea that the speech is impromptu. We can venture an impromptu remark to begin with: for instance. if a distinguished person is pre- sent we can make a complimentary remark about his great talent or his clothes. (Laughter.) This gives us an opening, and about the time the audience is pitying him we open our throttle-valve and go for those grangers. (Laughter.) The person wants us to be gorgeously eloquent. He wants to ‘ire the granger’s heart and start him from 1is mansard to his cellar. That man may say . “ ‘ Sm: I am suddenly called up and am indeed notmnot prepared to~â€"wus not expecting to be called up, sir ; but I will, with what effect I may, add my shout to the jubilations of this spirited, stirring occasion. (Laughter.) Agriculture, after all, sir, approximately speaking, may be said to be the palladium of our economic liberties. By it, approximately speaking, we may be said to live and move and acquire our being. All that We have been, all that we hope to be, was, is, and must continue to be.’ (Great laughter.) “'idowvd Within a Year, Children in an Asylum and Ilerselfin a Cell. A New York telegram says: Jacob Baumann, of mhe firm of Buumann Bros.Y furniture dealers, appeared as complainant in the Yorkville Court before - Justice O’Reilly yesterday against Kate Gibbons, 31 years old, of No. 518 West Fifty-first street, whom he charged with selling mort- gaged property. The complainant alleged that Mrs. Gibbons purchased on the instal- ment plan from Baumann Brothers furni- ture of the value of $134.15,giving a chattel mortgage as security. Last fall she had paid 3385 on account and then ceased mak- ing payments. When the firm demanded the goods it is said she asknowlcdgcd she had sold them. Mrs. Gibbons told a pitiful tale to the Judge, saying that when she purchased the furniture she was in good circumstances and able to make the pay- ments as they came due. Then her hus- band died and she was left without sup- port for herself and her three little chil- dren. She struggled along until she fell 1 sick with erysipelas and was bedridden. ‘ She had no friends to whom to appeal, her children were starving, and she sold the furniture piecemeal to buy them food. When all was gone she appealed to Justice Murray at the Yorkville Court two weeks ago and had her little ones sent to an in- stitution. She begged the complainant to give her an opportunity to pay the balance as soon as she was recovered sufficiently to o to work, but he was inexorable and insisted that she should tell him where the furniture was or go to prison. She said she could not tell what had become of the property, and again pleaded through her Bobs for mercy, and was again refused. Justice O’Reilly very reluctantly complied with the law and held the poor woman in $300 bail to answer. Having no friend in her extremity she went to prison, moaning in her agony, and the final scene in the destruction of the happy home of a year ago was completed-children in an asylum, father dead and mother in a Ielon’s cell. AYoung Wife Wants $5,000 for Oscula- tion Without Leave. A Lyons, N. Y., despatch says: Jennie Walker, the pretty young wife of Daniel Walker, in Ontario, this county, has begun action against Henry Elman, the wealthiest man in that locality, for $35,000 damages because of I: kiss he gave plaintiff upon the cheek last August. Mrs. Walker alleges that Elman called upon her husband, and that while her husband was in an adjoining room he stooped over her chair and kissed her. She was so terribly shocked and grieved at his hasty action that she was confined to bed Several weeks and was un- able to do household work. Elman admit-s the kiss, but will defend the suit. Seven lawyers have been retained in the case. Trusting to Faith to be Cured. A LaKewood N.J., despetoh says : Miss - Violet Hopkins, daughter of David A.Hop- } kins, the Jersey City manufacturer of railway supplies, who places implicit confi- dence in the faith cure, has come to this winter retreat to reside temporarily. She is an accomplished young women and a fine linguist. Her father is proprietor of the Amelican Sentry, a. devout follower of Swedenborg, and is said to have spent an immense sum of money in his religious zeal to disseminate the teachings of that noted leader. Miss Hopkins shand her father’s religious enthusiasm, and when, a year ago, she was attacked with acute pneumonia. she determined to test the eiucacy of prayer and faith, refusing to accept the services of a. physician. She has not improved, and her health is now so seriously impaired that grave doubts are entertained for her recovery. A SAD CHRISTDIAS FOR HER. SPEECH BY DIARK T‘VAIN. SUIT OVER A KISS. L 011 Wednesday she sat in the hall of the institution with her tutor at her right hand. There was singing by a chorus of fifty little children in attendance at the institution, a recitation by a young blind girl,a voluntary on the organ by Miss Black, also blind, and an overture by a brass band composed of blind boys. So keen and refined is her sensibility that it is said Miss Bridgman can appreciate, in u small way, of course, the beauty of music by means of the sound vibrations on the floor. The exercises this afternoon were translated to her by her tutor in the mute language of the fingers, and Miss Bridgman attested her feelings by clapping her hands and smiling. She, Who Can Neither See, Talk Nor Hear, Enjoys the Presence of Friends, Their Addresses and the Elusic of a Blind Boys’ Baum-Her Fifty Years in an Asylum. Miss Laura Bridgman, the blind, deaf and dumb immnl: 01' ll“: i’rl‘ix‘ll-fi lust-Huâ€" tion for the Blind in Boston, has just given a reception to her friends to mark the 50511 year of her residence in that institution, as well as the 58th anniversary of her birth. She enjoyed the music, the addresses of the guests and the presence of those she knew, after her own fashion, and expressed her approval of the remarks by clapping her hands. Miss Bridgman entered the institution when she was 8 years old. When an infant sickness deprived her of eyesight and the powers of speech and hearing. The sense of smell was entirely destroyed and that of taste much impaired. She was a girl of quick sensibilities, a fact which aided her vastly in acquiring that wonderful compre- hension of the things around her which has made her, her bene- factor and the institution famous the world over Dr. Samuel G. Howe, now dead, the husband of Mrs. Julia \Vard Howe, took charge of the girl when she came to Boston fifty years ago. She was taught, after indomitable and painstaking effort on the part of her preceptor and his assistant, Miss Drew, to write, read, spell, knit, and to converse with her teachers and with those who knew the mysterious lan- guage of the blind and the mute. The one sense left her, that of touch, enabled her to do this. Talking is carried on with her fingers. She places her hands in those of a person acquainted with the language, and conversation is successfully carried on by means of afinger alphabet. As her studies progressed, this child of unknowable world was taught geography, arithmetic, algebra, geometry, history and philosophy, until now she is as proficient in the ordinary branehts of learning as the average person not handicapped by the loss of natural powers. Miss Bridgman was 58 years old today, and so the rocepbion had a. double signifi- cance. During her earlier years she made a. practice of keeping a journal, and for ten years, from 1840 to 1850, wrote page after page of notes, 5 that to-day she has forty or more marina rip‘» [Jocks cf herown mulls, the number of pages being about six hun- dred. She has also writtnn three auto- biographical sketches, several poems and numerous letters. A New York (lespatch says: Anthony Nelson, one of the “ green goods” men recently arrested, was put on trial yester- day. Allen Gilliland, the deacon of a church at his home in Tennessee, or “ Sucker No. 82 ” as the " green goods ” gang termed him, identified the letters he had received inviting him to come to New York. where he could purchase 310,000 for $650. Counsel for the prisoner asked to have the case taken from the jury and his client dis- charged, on the ground that there was no proof that the “ goods ” mentioned in the circular and letters were counterfeit money. Judge (lowing held that the pomt was well taken and discharged the prisoner. Before letting him go he warned him that if he was brought before him again and convicted he would receive every minute that the statute would allow. Turning to the deacon, who had been locked up in the House of Detention as a, witness since he made his complaint, Judge Cowng lectured him severely. “ The best thing you can do,” he said, “ is to hurry back to Tennessee, and don’t come here again. Go back and leave the church, and tell your congregation how you fell.” The deacon said he was go- ing to-night. A Vienna dcspatch says: Emperor‘ Francis Joseph yesterday presented Count ‘ Andrassy with a magnificent portrait of himself as a Christmas gift. In the letter which accompanied the gift, the Emperor says the present is given in recognition of the hospitality to the Emperor by Count Andrassy during the military manoeuvres. The gift is generally believed, however, to have a political significance, the opinion being that the Emperor wished to express his approval of Count Andrassy’s energetic policy. It is stated when the Count returned from the Berlin Congress, the Emperor wished to raise him to the rank of prince, and asked several of the Hungarian Ministers to try and induce him to accept the honor, Count Andrassy, however, refused the title and also declined to accept an order, e0 that the Emperor’s only way to honor the Count was to send him an autograph letter, which is the highest Austrian distinction. A San Francisco despatch says: The“ Bolivian bark Remegio, which arrived from Hakodate, reports that last Tuesday night a Japanese who had the watch on deck suddenly became insane. All the crew were below and at midnight he called them on deck stationing himself at the door of the forecastle with a hatchet in his hand and prepared to give a lively reception to who- ever ventured above. The first who appeared, a Japanese, was saluted with a blow upon the head. ,Next was a negro, who was also struck and dangerously wounded. The insane Japanese then jumped overboard and was seen no more. It was found also that the cook of the vessel had been almost killed prior to the assault upon the crew and his recovery is doubtful. A Camden, N.J., despatch says: Hugh McLaughlin, a. milkman, of Sixth and Live streets, lost a. horse from gluttony last night. The horse broke its halter, got out into the stable, opened the lid of the feed chest and cleaned it of all the corn and outs, something over two bushels. This morning the milkman found his horse deml beside the feed chest. The mother of taxâ€"President Garfield is now over 87 years old, but still remains bright and strong in mind and body. VOL A REMIARKABLE WONIAN. The Deacon 5 Green Goods. A Horse Eats Itself to Death. A Royal Christmas Gift. A BIatl Jap. He is Constantly Surrounded by Swamus of Soldiers and Detectives. A few nights ago I attended the illuminaA tions at Peterhoff in honor of the Czarina’s birthday. The Czar’s palace is on a. peninsula and the grounds and buildings occupy almost a mile Square 7- Ilie most superb structures, fountains, and miles of the finest parking and drives in the world. Scores of buildings and fountains, hundreds of trees and great crowns, crosses and figures, besides miles of high walls, were covered with colored lamps. There were millions of lights, and it required a regi. ment of soldiers and hundreds of civilians weeks to put them in place. All was paid for from the public treasury, or rather a Czar’s treasury repleted by the people. At a time in the evening when the foun- tains and lights glistencd most, the bands played the loudest, and the pyrotechnics and cannon from the men-ofâ€"war in the gulf glared and roared best, the royal family gave the assembled multitude a rare treat. 11; showed itself. Seldom it is that people in Russia see their Emperor, their Czar, because he suspects them of designs. I was making my way between two of the great blazing walls of colored lights, through one of the drives, when a detach- ment of Cossacks came dashing along. slashing their sabres and driving the people out of the way. In their wake came sul- diers on foot and great detachments of men in citizen’s clothing. The latter stationed themselves in front of tho lilies of the masses. A din of voicesâ€"lusty cheer- ing is heard in the distance. It comes nearer, then nearer. More Cossacks, more soldiers, more men in citizens’elothing, and farther back we are crowded. The tier of oilicious citizens is reâ€"enforced in our front and many linger in the driveway. Finally the caravan comes in View. More Cossacks, soldiers, citizens. Eight white horses, each one on the left bearing a liveryman, are next seen; then the royal equipage, an im- mense, gold-mounted chariot. The Czar, a great burly fellow, with full beard, crown and uniform, is on the left seat in front. The brother, the Crown Prince, the Czarina and grand dukes, etc., make up the load. On every hand of the carriage, four deep, are Cossacks, while the drive- way in front and rear is blocked with soldiery, making a perfect shield against violent attack. The “ citizens ” who were so very plenti- ful and ofiicious were the most experienced detective and body-guards in the empire, There were thousands of them. It would have been impossible for one to raise his or her hand against the Czar or any member of his family. It is the boast of the Rus- sian authorities that their detectives have eyes in every portion of their heads and bodies. The whole service of protecting the Crown and members of the family, and suppressing all thoughts of dissatisfaction with the present form of government, is in full charge of Gresscr, chief of the secret service. The authority of this officer is appalling. He can order into exile or the execution yard any one suspuctul of uni lawful or disrespectful acts or intentions. He attends the theatres, and may be said to run all places of amusement. If he is displeased with anything he suppresses it, and there is no redress. New York Sun. People who Never Eat 310:“. There is no abstemiousness in the world, and no thrift, like the thrift and abstemi- ousness of the average native of India. Almost alone among the workingmen of the world he has raised himself nearly above wants, has stripped himself of all the im- pediment of luxury. Millions of men in India, especially on the richer soils and in the river deltas, live, marry and rear apâ€" parently healthy children upon an income which, even when the wife works, is rarely above 25. a week, and frequently sinks to 18d, says the London Spectator. The I); dian is enabled to do this, not so much by the cheapness of foodâ€"for, though it is cheap, 3. European who ate the same food would want five times the money merely to feed himselfâ€"as by a habit of living which makes him independent of the ordi- nary cares of mankind. He goes nearly without clothes, giv: 3 his children none, and dresses his wife in a long piece of the most wretched muslin. Neither he nor his wife pay tailor or milliner one shilling dur- ing their entire lives, nor do they ever pur- chase needles or thread, which, indeed, it is contrary to a semi- religious etiquette ever to use. The poorest peasant inhabits a hut con- taining a single covered room of the small- est size, with an earthen platform or two outside it, and as he constructs or repairs his own dwelling, he virtually pays no rent except for the culturable land. He never touches alcohol or any substitute for it. There is an idea in England that he eats opium or hemp, but he as a rule swallows neitherwfirstly, because he regards them with as much moral antipathy as any Eng- lish gentleman, and secondly, because he could not by any possibility pay for articles which in India, as everywhere else, are exâ€" ceedingly expensive. Ho eats absolutely no meat nor any animal fat, nor any exâ€" pensive grain like good wheat, but lives on millet or small rice, a little milk, with the butter from milk, and the vegetables he grows. Even of these he eats more spar- ingly than the poorest Tuscan. Once a quarter, perhaps, he eats enough, during some festival, but, as a rule, he knows accurately what will sustain him, and would be enraged with the wife who cooks for him if she prepared more. He is assisted in this economy by a religious rule which we have never seen a Hindoo break, and which is undoubtedly, like the rule against killing oxen, a survival from a mili- tary law or custom of the most remote antiquity. A Blodest Blaiden. A very remarkable story is told in New York boarding school circles about Miss ‘ Nellie Arthur, the daughter of the late ex- President. She was at Mrs. Loekwood’s school, and had been there a. year when one day she was missed by her little chums, who crowded around the Principal after the opening exercises to ask where she had gone. “ Where’s Nell? " they said. “Why, don’t you know? ” said the lady. ” Her father, Gen. Arthur, died last night.” “ Was her father Gen. Arthur? ” all asked as with one voice; ” was she the President’s daughter? ” Miss Nellie had never hinted a: what most girls would have told before \ anything else. The City Clerk of Ashlnnd, “’15., shot a deer and wished to send it to some friends at a. distance, but the express company rc- fused to receive it. He thereupon placed the deer in a. cheap pine coffin, marked it “ John Deer, deceased, aged 1," and ship- ped as a. corpse. _~_+#_ Emperor William, according to a prophecy based on his handwriting, is to live to be 100 years old. GUARDING RUSSIA’S CZAB. RICHMOND HILL THURSDAY, JANUARY 5, 1888. More Ways Than One. A man got into a London theatre the other night in a. curious way. He had gone out between the nets, but having lost his check, the attendants who did not remem- ber his face, would not readmit him, so he asked them to look at his coat-tails. The paint on his seat had adhered to them. l‘he attendants were convinced, and passed diim in. Mr. Joel Walker, farmer, Heanor Gate Farm, Heanor, has just gathered a. fine crop of Swede turnips on his land.’ Three turnips filled a large wheelbamow. One of the turnips weighed 25 lbs. As 5mm: men were pulling down an ulfl shop at St. Mary Cray, recently, they dis- covered a very large number of Bank of England notes of a generation ago. Their disappointment was great on discovering than all the notes were cannelledashort time ago. The Lord Mayor of London is said to have singled out. two days of next year for his grand efforts. He will make them re- nowned in civic annals. They are the Jubilee Day on the Queen’s coronation, and the day on which the Prince and the Princess of Wales will celebraie their silver wedding. One morning recently a little boy, aged 3years, and his sister, aged 5 years, the children of a beerhousu-keeper named Eastenby, at Blackburn, went into the kitchen in their night-dresses. The boy lighted a piece of paper and set fire to his sister, who was so shockingly burned that she died in Blackburn Infirmary the same day. From Ireland. The Duke of Abercorn has been invitefl to accept the office of President of the Royal Agricultural Society of Ireland for next year. An old woman named Lyains was found dead one day recently at her cottage in a. lane out of Lower Leeson street, Dublin. Her skull was fractured, and there was a quantity of blood in the room. She was supposed to possess money, but; except some trifling articles nothing seems to have been stolen. At a Dublin Police Court one day re- cently a man named \Valsh was charged with drunkenness. The evidence showed that when he was arrested his 4-year.old son was lying dead drunk beside him in the street. The father had taken the child around to a number of taverns and given him liquor to drink. By means of a stomach pump the child’s life was saved and the father was fined ten shillings. From Scotland. The epidemic of measles is still raging in the island of Eriskay. There have been eleven deaths from measles in the island Within about two months. One afternoon recently when the inspec- tor of the Port Glasgow Waterworks ex- amined the filters at l’arkhill he found the supply from Auchendores almost com- pleml) blOPPUL-l- On Lathe. u;i&2';lnnl-luu at the valve he found the pipe choked with 1 large eel 3 feet 2 inches in length, and weighing 422- lbs. Most of the suburban burglzs of Glasgow are showing much activity on the Bound- aries question. They have united in stat- ing a general case in opposition to the elas- borate annexation scheme. The Secretary for Scotland has appointed the Earl of Elgin and Mr. Grunt, of Thornliebank, additional members of the commission. Pollokshields has voted in fan or of annexa- tion to Glasgow. There will soon be launched at Detroit a vessel which, aside from her size, is one of the most remarkable ever built on the lakes. It is a car ferry boat for the Mac- kinac Transportation Company, and when completed is to ply on the Straits of Mac- kinac between Mackinac and Point St. Ignace. She is 235 feet in length, 52 in breadth, and 25 in depth, and is to carry ton freight or eight passenger cars. But it is as an ice breaker that the new boat is expected to be remarkable. Everything that modern ship-building, practice and experience can suggest to make her sucâ€" cessful has been done. She has fine lines, bow and stern being nearly the same form, and it will be an impossibility for the soft ice, which so often hinders the passage of ordinary ferry boats, to cling to her sides. Her bow, on the inside, is a mass of fram- ing as strong almost as solid timber, and the outside planking is six inches thick. Besides this, the hull is to be sheathed out- side with steel plates onequarter of an inch in thickness, which will effectually prevent the ice from scoring her sides. Reference was made the other day to the sad affliction of a. family living on Met- calfe street that recently moved to town, the members of which Were all down with diphtheria. Three of a family of six 1191.79 already succumbed and the others are in a dangerous condition. The two who died yesterday were the two eldest of the family. aged 17 and 14 years respectively. The family, whose name is Smith, removed here from Burford.â€"ll’oorts:ock Sentinel-Revzew: “Well, Nellie, does your husband still drink?” “ Yes, mother, and it’s worrying the life out of me.” “Did you try the plan of breaking him of the habit that I suggested to you ‘2” “Yes.” I‘Did you put Whisky in his coffee ‘3” “ Yes.” “What did he say?” “He said I was the only woman he had seen since his mother died who knew how to make coffee as it should be made.” W011 Supplied With Grandparenls. A son of Mr. William Strader, of Morris- burg, is burdened with grandparents. He has fivdliving grandfathers, the eldest of the five being Mr. Strader, of Matilda, aged 101 yenrs. He has six living grandmothers, the eldest of these being Mrs. Reddick, of Williamsburg, aged 93 years. A Galena grocer named Scott offered to let a. woman named Taylor strike him with a codfish for 25 cents. It was all a. joke, you know, but she paid the money, gave the codfish a whirl or two, and when it hit Grocer Scott it broke his jaw and tore off part of his ennâ€"ch County (UL) Times. “ You cannot,” said the schoolmaster, place a, the singular artlcle, before plural 11011115. No one can say a, cows, (1 women." “Why not ‘2” said the good boy. “ When we go to church we say a-men I”â€"â€"Judy. -â€"-Some one has written a book on “ How to Save Money.” No use. The only way to save money is not to spend it, and that knocks all the tun out of saving‘ OLD \‘VOELD GOSSIP BY LIAIL Terrible Ravages of Diphtheria. A Remarkable Ferry Steamer. An Accolnplished \Vife‘ From England. A Female Kilrain. Ushered in by a heavy fall of snow, at last Christmas Eve had come, after long and anxious waiting on the part of the little ones Lhroubhout the city; and even the older people welcomed it with feelings of pleasure as they saw the hopes of their own youth revived again in the faces of the children, bright with thoughts of the mor- row. Happy fathers and mothers, laden with presents, were hurrying homeward; their purses were perhaps almost empty, but their arms were full, and their hearts were fuller yet. Now and again, far away through the falling snow, would be heard the faint but clear tinkle of the chiming sleigh bells, then a rush of horses, a flurry of snow and a peal of silvery music dying away in the distance. The markets were filled with people buying provisions for the holidays. The trauesmen were busier than they had ever been before. Joyous laugh- ter kept breaking forth from the groups surrounding the gay shop windows, as some object more amusing than the rest caught their eyes. Every one seemed to be full of enjoyment. No one, as he looked at the others, could help involuntarily voicing the thought, “ All Christendom must be happy at this time." For there is scarcely ever a joy existing in this world without a sorrow to equal it; great indeed is the burden, therefore, when it falls on a few saddened hearts to counter-balance the happiness of a city. So it was in this case. In the attic room of a manyâ€"storied tenement, in the humbler part of the great city, sat an aged man. It was a poor little room. There was no furniture in it, unless the little three-legged wooden stool on which he sat, or the black case on the one shelf that had not been burnt for fuel, might be termed furniture. Off one corner of the roof the rafters had been swept away in the storm of the previous night, and the snow was slowly drifting in along the bare floor. There were holes in the Window panes; some he had filled with straw from his bed, but new there was no more straw, and the wintry wind blew keenly through the others. It tossed his long white hair over his forehead. He shivered, and drawing his ragged coat closer round him, he bent forward on the rude stool toward the meagre tire of coke. His face, sad and careworn, was ghastly thin and drawn with the pangs of hunger, for “Old Franz,” as the neighbors had nick-named him, had not tasted food for days. Down stairs in the flat below he could hear the voices of the children, as they gaily hung up their stockings, well-darned to hold care- fully the presents that Father Christmas might give them. He heard their childish prattle and sighed, as memory wandered back to his own early days in the dear old home in the country. Nine, 10 and 11 rolled out the city clocks, and gradually all the sounds ceased except, now and then, the muffled footfalls of a late traveller hastening over the snow-covered sidewalk to : his home. The old man dozed. His dreams were sorrowful for a tear glistened for a moment in his eye, and then trickled over his wrinkled face ; even while he slept his sorrows were with him. The fire went out, but the snow still drifted slowly in. The wind grew bitterly cold and the old man moved uneasily in his sleep; he moaned once or twice, and sometimes he would mutter indistinetly. Thus the night passed and the morning came. Christmas morning! and the child- ren were joyfully examining the toys and ,laythings that Santa Claus had brought them in the night. Still ‘ Old Franz’ dreamed on. The sunbeams creeping farther and farther over the floor made the room feel warmer, and as at last they played over his face, he smiled in his sleep and awoke. The smile changed as he remembered he was starving. He rose up with difficulty,and immediately fell back exhausted; he waited a little and then, slowly rising, he staggered to the shelf and took down his last, his only friend, hi3 violin. For Franz was a musician; ay, he had been a great master once, but for years his hands had trembled too much to play, and he had been forced to teach for his daily bread. And now his pupils had left him; they said he was too old even to teach. Poor Franz 1 He held the violin tightly in his arms as though he thought some one would take it from him. “ Shall I sell thee for bread, my own? Shall I beg ‘2” he murmured. “No! No! ‘Old Franz’ may be poor, but he would rather die than become a beggar,and he will never part with thee.” Then his mind wan- dered. The past came before him. He ‘ hugged more closely his Violin to his breast. i It was for love of music that he had left the happy farm home of his boyhood. It was for music he had braved his father‘s anger and the tears of his mother, and had gone to the great city and had suffered so much. ‘ Perhaps there is no moment in the life of an unsuccessful man so full of sadness and of joy, so filled with a longing that is strangely sweet and yet so full of the most intense regret as that in which ‘ he reviews the years that are told. He sees ’again the triumphs of his boyhood; the well-earned prizes of his college life ; he had worked hard to gain them, and, as he received them from the hands of his old masters, what hopes did he not form, what yambitions did he not cherish, what fame did he not see crowning his after life? Ah 1 all that is passed now ; the licpes were soon blighted, almost in their youth, never were the ambitions fulfilled, the fame al- ways faded away before his eager grasp. True I he can remember some of his com- panions, but how few they are, who have attained the goal of their wishes ', they have indeed achieved success ; but for him his has been a failure. In the years of his past he can see only disappointment sue» I ceeding disappointment, misfortune rush- ! ing upon misfortune; once mole, as long i ‘ ago, he can hear the bolls ringing in each . new year full of promise for the future. E Ah! they were also tolling the burial of the hopes of the year before. Franz thought of the past. He remembered again his early struggles ; the old master that had had faith in his genius ; his brilliant successes won at last after many_years. “ With his shukingihandhe placed the violin to his shoulder, and drew the bow across the strings. The tone was rich and pure. His hand gained strength. Again he was before great audiences ; again bouquets were showered upon him; again he heard their plaudits and he bowed his head to thank them. The bells of the city churches began to ring for the morning servicg He started and murmured “ It is Christmas.” He thought of Christmas on the old farm, of his gray-haired father, of his tender, loving mother, of her teachings, of the holy service in the quaint old church, he was happy then but nowâ€"he bowed his hesimrerwhelmed with anguish. There THE OLD MUSICIAN. A Christmas Incident. WHOLE NO 1,584 NO. 27. There were tears in the eyes of the neighbors as they opened the door and looked in. The old master leaned forward. His head fell upon his violin. “He is sleeping,” they whispered to each other. Ay! they were right. “Old Franz” was sleepingâ€"forever. And presently the choir in the neighboring church began to chorus the Christmas anthem, “Peace on earth! Goodwill to Men.” It was his requiem. iHNEsr L. “My love,” said Mr. Simeon Whitehead, as he sat before the fire on Christmas Eve, “ this is a. glad and joyful time ; a. time to draw fond hearts nearer to each other and make them throb in loving unison.” “ Yes, Simmy,” said his wife. “ And withal, he went on oracularly, “ it is a rollicking, merry time, and just to carry out the spirit of the hour, let’s hang up our stockings.” “ Hush,” said another. And silently one by one they stole up the stairs and stood with listening ears at the door of the gar- ret room. They held their breath as the music, rising upward, swelled into an anthem of praise. It seemed like the morning. carols of the birds returning thanks to their Maker that the day had come. Then the melody slowly died away into a. wail of anguish, and as it rose again more softly they thought they heard u sorrowful child sobbing itself quietly to sleep in its Father’s bosom. It ceased and all was still. -“ 0, what £115 1” chirped Mrs. Whitehead, though I haven’t a thing for you, Simmy, dear, so you mustn‘t be disampointed,” with a. delusive smile. So with many childish gurgles of glee they went off to bed arm in arm, leaving what looked like a. long black sausage-bag suspended from the chimney-piece by the side of a short striped sock with a hole in the heel. comes a time in our lives when we near the final goal; behind us stretches the past with its mingled shadow and sunlight, but round us the mists of the evening are gathered, the shades of darkness deepen, sorrow after sorrow falls upon us with crushing force, the gloom increases, the light fades away and the night ensues, the In the silent watches of the night Mr. Simeon \Vhitehead sneaked guiltin down stairs with a sealskin sacque under his arm. He groped his way to the yawning black stocking, and there ensued a Wild and ineffectual struggle to stuff it in the sacque, but though he rolled it into its smallest possible compass and stretched the sausage- bag to the form of a peek measure, it was clearly a hopeless case, and wiping his perspiring face with a convenient portion of his attire, he hung the garment on the chimney-piece and left it, hugging himself as he thought of the surprise it would create in the morning, for he wot not that the descendant of Eve who shared his joys had opened his drawer with a. false key and torn a. hole in the paper wrapping with a hairpin. .s...-L...“s. IMAM“. iamk how... upon us, ezn'Lth slippOits give \my beneath us and we feel we are sinking. In that, moment, if never before, we remember our Creator. Franz thought of his God, and bowed his head in prayer. Presently he took up his violin and began to play again. The neighbors in the rooms below stopped their gossip to listen. “Davis the angels,” whispered the chil‘ dren. “It must be ‘Old Franz,’ said one of tht‘ men. Méantime Mrs. Whitehead awoke, and takingatiny white box from under her pillow? slipped_ gtealthfly‘out of t_he {09111. A At the top of the stair she came in violent collision with her husband coming up, and with womanly presence of mind she grasped his bushy beaxd and screamed, “ Burglars! Murder! Simmy!” Taken off his guard and his feet at the same time, Mr. Whitehead suddenly sat down, and, his wife clinging to him desper- ately, they coasted together dcwn the stairs, landing in a. confused heap at the bottom. A 10030 carpet rod had played havoc with his nbreviated garment, and scraped the porous plaster and a. considerable portion of epidermis from his back. A-s he struggled to his feet with a volley of choice expletives, his wife, who had escaped Without a scratch, recognized the famllinr tones and cried, “ O, Simmy, are you _h_urt ‘1’,” “ Hurt? No! Dangx’est it, no I” hop- ping about in an agony of pain, “ its rare sport to be used as a toboggan by a fat old porpoise that weighs three hundred 1 Perhaps you will inform me, Madam, where the humorous part of this perform- ance comes in, for Mrs. Whitehead had turned up the gas, and now stood giggling hysterically at his capers. “ Must you stand there grinning like a dangfested idiot, because you’ve knocked your husband down staix s and peeled his blasted back for him ‘I Took me for a condemned burglar, did you? \Vell, if I ever burgle in this way again you may have the rest of my blame skin.” “ I did, did I ? Well, ain’t we enjoying it ? Ain’t we out in full dress in honor of the occasion ‘2” glaring wildly at his tat- tered garments, “Haven’t I sacrificed half a yard of cuticle to make this thing a howling auccess?‘ Want to try another whirl? Perhaps I’m too slow for you ‘2” Maybe you’d like to rig me up with a set of wheels and an air-brake for a dangfested roller-coaster. Anything to carry out these joyous festivities in rattling style. There, madam,” he continued, kicking the eacque savagely about the room, ” there’s the condemned institution that has brought such an overflow of joy into this family. There’s the last blame Christmas present you’ll ever get from me. There’s the dang- feeted article.” Here he kicked a table leg. He didn’t injure the table leg but spoiled the shape of his largest corn, and he limped groaning up‘stairs. “ O, Simmy, dear, don’t swear. You said Cihgistmas wags} jpyful, loving 13_ime-H “ Simmy, dear,” his wife called softly after him,“ shall I come up and bathe your poor back with arnica ‘2” but a vicious slam of the door was the only reply, so she tried the effect of the sealskin sacque over her robcde nuit and said, as she paraded before the glass, “ I don’t care, he can’t take this back, any way, and if he won’t have the diamond stud I’ll trade it for a. bracelet.” EMMA S. OLDS. CHRISTMAS EVE AT THE WHITEHEADS. “ How is it you have so many young menicall on you '2” pisked a: jealo_us__gir1._ “ Because? was the repli, “ fatfier has the gout in one foot and the rheumatism in the other; besides, We don’t keep a. dog.” 0n the Toboggan Slide. Steersmanâ€"All ready, Bascom ? Bascomâ€"Yes ;or-er wait a moment. If Miss Kittyman will kindly tuck her feet: in a. little closer, I think we shall find less wind resistance. Gout, Rheumatism and No Dog. A talilor of Samarcand, Asia, who lived on a street leading to the burying ground, kept near his shop an earthen pot,in which he was accustomed to deposit a. pebble wheneverabody was carried to its final resting place. Finally the tailor died, and, seeing the shop deserted, a person in- quired what had become of its former occupant. “He has gone to pot himself," was the reply by one of the deceased’s neighbors. During a. battle between the Russians and Tartars a private soldier of the former cried out: “Captain, I’ve caught a Tar. tar.” “ Bring him along,” said the officer. “ He won’t let; me,” was the response. In- vestigation proved that the captive had the captor by the arm and would not allow him to move. So “ catching a Tartar” is applicable to one who has found an antagonist too powerful for him. This is the month, and this the happy morn, Whevcin the Son of Heaven's eternal King, Of wedded maid, and virgin mother born, 0111' great redemption from abwe did bring; For so the holy sages once did sing, That He our deadly forfeit should release, And with His Father Work us ayerpetunl fence. Mi ton. Dido, Queen of Tyre. about seven cen- turies before Christ, after her husband had been put to death by her brother, fled from that city and] established a colony on the north coast 'of Africa. Having bargained with the natives for as much land as could be surrounded with a bull‘s hide, she cut the hide into narrow strips, tied them to- gether and claimed the land that could be surrounded with the line thus made. She was allowed to have her way, and now, when one plays a. sharp trick he is said to “cut a dido.” While lying on the ground over a slow fire St. Lawrenceâ€"in whose honor the Escurial was built by Philip 11., said to the Emperor who was watching his sufferings: “ Assatus ess, jam versa et manduca ; ” which one translator, not quite literally, but appreciatively of the same grim humor characterizing the original, rendered : This side enough is roasted, Then turn me, tyrant, and eat; And see whether raw or roasted I am the better meat. Hence, ” Done to a. turn.” Formerly in London when a small dealer bought bread of the baker, for every dozen loaves purchased he was given an extra. loaf as his profit, from which circumstances “ a baker’s dozen ” signifies thirteen. Various origins have been assigned the phrase, but the above is the only one based on a. sure foundation. In a work, “ Essays from the Desk of Poor Robert the Scribe,” published in 1815, the author, 0. Miner, tells the story of a boy w ho, by the offer of a liberal oom< pensation, was induced to turn the grind- stone for a man who desired to sharpen his axe. The promised compensation was never paid, and of one who disguises his own selfish aims under an appearance of gener- osity or disinterestedness it is remarked: “He has an axe to grind.”â€"Christz'mz Union. Stemner Burned to the “'ater’s Edge-â€" Loss of Part of the Crew. A last (Wednesday) night’s San Fran- cisco despatoh says : The freight steamer San Vinointe, plying between this city and Santa Cruz, took fire last night off Pigeon Point, about forty miles south of the Golden Gate and burned to the water’s edge. The crew consisted of nineteen officers and men. The burning vessel was sighted by the Pacific Coast Steamship Company’s steamer, Queen of the Pacific, which was bound from San Diego to this port. Several boats were lowered and went to the rescue of the San Vincinte’s crew. Capt. Chas. Lewis and the second mate were found on the deck of the steamer, preparing to jump into the sea, as the flames were rapidly surrounding them. The first mate and four sailors were found drifting in a small boat, in which they had escaped, and another sailor was discovered clinging to the bottom of an upturned boat. These men were all rescued and taken on heard the Queen of the Pacific. Several of them had suffered severely from exposure and one of the sailors died in a few hours. No trace could be found of the other eleven men who composed the crew, and it is sup- posed they were all lost. Captain Lewis stated that when the fire was discovered the men became panicvstricken. Most of them jumped into one of the boats and before it could be lowered the tackle which held it burned away and the boat fell, throwing the men into the water. The San Vincinte was a small vessel and was valued at $30,000; no insurance. The loss on the cargo is light. Bessieaâ€"Mu, dear; Mr. Spoonbill has to kiss me twice in the play We are doing for Mrs. Jamery’s charity. Do you think I ought tojct him? ‘ Bessieâ€"I was thinking he wasa mifâ€" lionaire. Maâ€"Why did not you say so before. I1: is for charity’s sweet sake. V intâ€"Certainly not, child! What can. yoE be'thixlking of‘?_ . _ I Happy man (to widow of three husbands) â€"Whom shall I ask to perform the cere- mony, darling? That matter, of course, I shal} leave to you. Widow (llesitatingly)â€"â€"Woll, dear, I haven't any very particular preference, although I’ve always had the Rev. Mr, Goodmanâ€"New York Sun. Go One Voyage to Learn. Mrs. Honeydoveâ€"«Dear me. I can’t see what can keep Charles out so late 1 Hale it is 11 o’clock. He’s a regular slave to his business. Mrs. Twicemarried (pityingly)â€"â€"That’s what I thought of my first husband, dear ; but the second knows it’s always best to get home by dinner time.â€"Judga. It is the Christmas time, And up and down ’Lwixt heaven and earth In the glorious grief and solemn mirth, The shining angels climb. D. M. Mulock.‘ Cutting :1 “Mn,” “Catching u Tart-avr,‘ and “110 has an Axe to Grind." A Religious luau. First Citizenâ€"What makes you think your neighbor,Towson, isa religious man? Second Citizenâ€"He always Sifts his ashes on a. still day. With trembling fingers did we weave The holly ’round the Christmas hearth; A rainy cloud possessed the earth And sadly fell on Christmas eve. The study of Volapuk, the new universal language, is obligatory upon the students of the Royal Gymnasia of Munich. In Russia it is permitted to be used in tele- graphic transmission. Mrs. Elizabeth Thompson, the philan- thropist, never goes to the theatre, and has read but two novels, “Jane Eyre” and the “ Scarlet Letter.” Her tastes are perfectly simple. She has a great liking for bread, milk and. apples. It is doubtful if society ever heard of her. But she is the only woman who has the freedom of the floor of the House of Representatives, at Washing- ton, a right which even the President’s wife does not have. “’hat the Poets Say about Christmas. Bo marry all, be merry all, ‘i‘y'iuu holly dress the festive hall, Prepare the song, the feast, the ball To welcome Merry Christmas.“ Shepherds at the grunge, Where the babe was born, Sang with many a change Christmas carols until mom ORIGIN OF OLD PHRASES. TRAGEDY > AT SEA. Illustrated Suobucracy. Iler Standby. Longfellow. Tennyson. Spencer“