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I'd rather drink cold water from the brook Than quail excitement from a. golden chalice, I'd rather sleep on straw in the shepherd’s hut Then lie awake and restless in a. palace. I'd rather earn dry bread in lusty health. Andeat it with a sense of wholesome pleasure, Than feed without the zest of appetite Off gorgeous plate 'mid unavailmg treasure. I'd rather have one true, unfailing friend, Than fifty parasites to crave my bounty, And one poor lass who loved me for mysel! Then one Without a. heart who owned a county. Nature is kind it our desires are pure, And screws rich blessings everywhere around us While Fortune. it we pant in her pursuit. Too often grants her favors to confound us. Freshlair and sunshine, flowers and health and ova, These are endowments if we learn to prize them; The W151?i man's breasurea. better worth than go And non’e but Iools and wicked men despise chem. Tiny Clarence est in her pretty little par- lor as a bright, tropical bird balances itself on the swaying b'oughs of a. palm tree, for the carpet was of green and the window draperies were green. and the walls were just tinted of that delicate sea green that shines translucently through the rolling billows of the deep ; and she herself, curi- cusly carrying out the unity of things, wore a. dress of soft green cashmere, with silver lilies in her hair. Her real name was Flora, but people called her Tiny ; it was a pet name she had ever since she could rememberâ€"~perhaps because she was small and dimpled and lairy like, and had a. fashion of nestling down on low ottomans and little footsbools instead of perching herself on big, stifl chairs, like full size mortals. She was very fair, with a transparent skin. flushed with pale rose, and hair like floss silk, where the burnished shadows came and went in golden glimmers, while her blue eyes were full of sweet, wistful egpresmonsâ€"a human lily of the valley, in a ort. “ Is it fun ye’re making of a. poor girl, Miss Tiny? Sure, you wouldn't even yourself to the likes 0’ them. And you, wid all the fine clothes a queen would wear l" “ But I am in earnest, Bridget. I am going to see a poor woman who lives in a. tenement house down town, and I would rather dress so as to attract no particular attention.” At least so Ernest Sargent thought, as he sat looking at her, with his heart in his eyes; ” I stand rebuked,” he said, rising and bowing somewhat ceremonionsly. “To- morrow morning,then, I am to call and get my answer.” “ Yes, to-morrow morning, if you like." So Ernest Sargent bent his head over Tiny Clarence’s little rose leaf of a hand and went his vyay. __ " Well, my dear,” said Mrs. Clarence, as Tiny came slowly upstairs, twisting the green tussels that hung from her waist. " what havg yp_u fiecided 7” ' “ Bridget,” she said, ” will you lend me your brown cloth cloak this afternoon and the black silk bonnet? I want to wear them.” t ” You will not give me the answer. then, which is to seal my fate ‘2” " Not this morning, Mr. Sargent." “ Why not ? I have surely the right to ask the question.” _ “ I am not altogether certain that I have made up my mind, Mr. Sargent." Ernest’s eyes brightened. “ You will give me the benefit of the floubt, then Ti " I can’t tell you just yet ; I don‘t know myself. Cannot you comprehend, Mr. Sargent," she added, with a sudden spark of impatience in her soft eye, “ that this matter of marriage is, with as women, something more important than the selec- tion of a favorite shsde in silks or the color of the spring ribbon ?f’_ “ He is very rich, and, your father says, in a. business Whose profits are continually increasing. You would be wealthy, my child." “ No, but it is more or less important ; and then Mr. Sargent is very handsome.” “ I know it. mamma," And then Tiny Clarence want further still upstairs to the room where Bridget was sweeping and dusting, in a frenzy of energy.__ Bridget still stared, but she made no furtlger opposigionf “ I can’t understand at all, at all, so I can't,” she said, shaking her frenzied head as she carried the aforesaid garments into Tlny's room. “Sure, miss. it’s like dressin’ the queen of the fairies up in a cabbage leaf. Your bonny face is lost entirely in the old bonnet, let alone the cloak covers you from head to foot. entirely.” “ I have decided upon nothing at all as yet, mamma.” " Don't you like Mr. Sargent ‘2’” “ Yes.” answered Tiny, after a moment or two of grave consideration ; " I suppose I do." "Is wealth the first object in life, mamma ?" Tiny Clarence felt curiously unlike the aristocratic little queen of fashion that she was as she fode down town in the extreme corner of a Second avenue our, and alighted at length at a. cross street, whose narrow purlieus and swarming rows of tenement houses on either side botoken it the residing place of the poor. “ Ne'ver mind that, Bridget. Now lend me the veil. Them; that will do." ‘ Turning neither to the right hand nor to the left, Tiny Clarence kept on her way, until at length she entered a. dwelling some- where in the middle of the block, and as- cended the long flight of carpeted wooden stairs, which was common property to all the inhabitants. The Old Maid. (By 10v. James Cooke Seymour) Who wakes the scoff of giddy znith. To many a wicked pun gives birth 'Mong all the daughters of the can]; ‘2 The old, old maid. rimming at a. door on the fourth t knocked sqitly. '3 017.8116 Who would not wed for sake of gold ‘2 \Vho would not barter Iovu untold For self, on: all c_o_u]d spy" untold 1’ 7; Come in,” was the reply, and opening the door Tiny Clarence enterefl. 7 The' firm old maid, Who would not cast herselfuwav 0n worthless man, whato'er they any ? Porter for e'or old maid to stay ‘2 The wise old maid. Who wears the face, if worn, yet meek ? Who searches round the sad to seek '2 Who helps the poor, Wlth tear-flowed check The kind 01d maid. Whose heart has tender love for all ‘1’ Who hugs the children when they (all ‘? Her tent run swift at every call ‘2 The dear old maid. Who serves the Lord with earnest lovo ? Who waits in faith for joys above ‘2 Her life a. benediction proves ? The good old maid. Twas long ago in hammock daysâ€"- How very long it seems- Thac down the Winding country was s Beside the singing streams I went in search ofâ€"dreams I Ono dream I found as there I stayed, A perfect vision, too I A merry, muslimkirtled maid. Whoseoyea were harebell-blue, A most enthralling hue l She smiled. I smiled. Ahl who can tell What volumes there were said, Although we spoke no syllable '3 The clover~blooms were red : There was no cloud o’erhead. I leaned. She lifted up her faceâ€" What ruby lips she had I Bliss for one little moment's space- And then she cried : “ There's dad 1‘ 0h, wasn‘t; it too bad! P ferences and Treasures. Dllenchantment. THE OBDEAL. It was a. small room, comparatively bare of furniture, but very neat. A little bed occupied the farther corner of the room, and the smallest possible remnant of a. fire amoldered in the tidy grate, while one or two chairs and a pine table constituted all the rest of the outfittings. Close to the window a young woman Eat sewing, while a crippled child played on the floor at her feet. She arose as Tiny entered. " Is it you, Miss Clarence?” she said, her pale face momentarily dyed with a. deep tinge of color, as she courtesied a timid welcome. “This is but apoor place for mm 0099-” “ Miss Clarence l” repeated our little heroine, reproachfully. “You used to call me Tiny when we were school girls to- gether, Helen I“_ U "Btit there is such a. gulf between us now 1" “Because you are poor and I am rich? because you are a. forsaken widow and Iam still the favored child of fortune? Helen, you judge me unjustly 1" Helen Starr’s eyes filled with tears. “ Dear Tiny, I Will never do so again.” ” I have brought you some more sewing,” said Tiny carelessly, as she sat down by the side of her sadly changed school mete. “ By the Way, Helen, do you still sew for Sin-gent & Copley?” _ “ Yes, I am going there this afternoon to return some work and try to get a. little more.” “Are you ‘2” Tiny strove to speak unconsciously, although the deep crimson flushed her neck and brow. ” Would you object to my going with 3on7 1â€"1 have a great curiosity to see the inner workings of one of those great manuhctur- ing establishments.” “ I shall be glad of your company." “ Do they pay you well ‘2" went on Tiny, affecting to be deeply interested in removing a. speck of mud from the hem of Bridget’s brown cloth cloak. Mrs. Starr shook her head sadly. A “ StarvMion prices, Tiny, and Mr. Sar- gent has just out down the wages one- qunrter. He says times are hard and he cannot ngeet e;pena_es._” V “ Yet he driées the handsomest horses in New York and lives in a brown atone palage,_" obsa‘r‘vefi 'Jlfiny. ‘ “ I know it, but such is the universal justice between employer and employed. We are powerless and they know it, these grinding rich. Eeople. n ‘ 1‘ . .. u She €33 folcfing- up the bundle of neatly sewn shirts as she spoke and putting on her own wgljn_ and algabe outqr‘gaypeqys. “ You will be good and quieflivI Charlie, and not go near the fire until mamma returns '2" she added, pausing on the threshold. Vii‘Yera, mamma,” the child answered, with docile meeknesa. He was accustomed to being left alone, poor little fellow, and than Helen and Tiny set forth together on an errand entirely novel to the latter. Mr. Copley, a fat, 0in looking man, with a. white neck-cloth and beaming spectacles, stood behind a ponderous ledger, a day- book and Mr. Sargent, with an expression of face very different from what he had that morning worn in Tiny Clarenco’s boudoir, leaned against the edge of the desk and took in the work, examining and com- menting as he did so. It was “pay day " at the establishment of Sargent & Copley, and a long string of worn looking women, some young and some old, but all pale and pinched, like plants that had grown in the shade, were Waiting their turn for the miserable remuneration due them. For Mr. Sargent chose himself to super- intend this portion of his business. Nor was the tongue of slander behindhand in proclaiming that he contrived to make money out of this personal supervision. “ Clam Coyt!” he called out, sharply, as a pale, freckled young girl neared him; “ how much due Clara Coyt? Ten dollars and seventy cents. Take ofif $1 »- work greased from sewing machine.” “ But, sir,” began the girl. “ Nine seventyâ€"here you are! Pass on, Clara. Coyt l Now, then, Mary Macalister 'â€"behind two (lays. Fine Mary Macalister 50 oentsl ’ ' “ No, Mr. Sa-rgent,” she answered haugh- tily, “ I will never allow you to speak to me again-’2 She kept her word. Ernest Sargent’s nature had been triefl in the balance of her womanly discriminaticn, and found Wanting. Marrying a Young Girl. In the St. Mary‘s Established Church, Dumiriee, on the 11th inct., an old men of 71 and a gir117 were married in the pre Hence of an amused assembly. The bride- groom is stated to be a. land agent in New- castle, a. widower, with a grownup family, one of whom is a. clergyman. The bride being a. minor, and the parents having re- fused their consent, the pair come to Duml'ries five weeks ago to fulfil the requisite condition of a. fifteen daye’ resi- dence in Scotland with a view to a Scotch marriage. The cfliciating clergy was the Rev. A. Chapman, who produced a smile by giving out the 67th Psalm at the close of the ceremony, “ Lord bless end pity us,” which the congregation joined in singing. On leaving the church the bridegroom was cheered and hissedâ€"The ScottishAmerican. “On what account, sir? " faltered Mrs. Starr. “Work soiled in making upâ€"pass on! ” “ You are mistaken, Mr. Sargent, indeed,” pleaded Helen Starr ; “ the stains were in the linen‘when it was given out to me. It is not in the least soiled in my hands.” “Helen, stop an instant. Mr. Sargent," and turning back the long black veil which had hitherto concealed her face, Tiny Clarence looked calmly into the rich bully’e eyes, “I am sure that my friend, Mrs.Starr, speaks only the truth. You lose all claim to the name of gentleman when you allow yourself to speak thus insolently to aught bearing the stamp and image of refined womanhood." “ There is no mistake," she answered, calmly contemptuous. “ I have been near making one that might have lasted a. life. time, but my eyes are fortunately opened. Pay Mrs. Starr the money rightly due her, and let us leave this den of money making iniquity.” “Miss Ciarence,"he faltered, “Will you 31103 mg_t.o Explainf” So he went on, quickto detect or imagine faults, vigorous to punish, merciless to exact fines, until scarcely one of the wait- ing throng received the amount of money my duahsar- . .. 1 . WWJhthWHelen Starr's name was called she advanced timidly, with her brown clad comgaqiongt heggidp. ‘ ..-.~.p “ I can‘t stop to argue matters with inso- lent sewing women in my employ I " snarled Ernest Sargent. “ Take your $3.60, Mrs. Starr, without any more words, or leave the establishment. We can get plenty of hands who won’t tell lies." Helen Starr grew crimson and then pale, but knowing her own utter helplessness in the hands of this human vampire, she was about to take the miserable sum tendered her and page on her Way when a low, soft voice at her side detained her. “ Miss Clarence, he atummered,overcome with confusion, “there is some mtatake here. Mr. Sargent paid Mrs. Starr the $4 with undisguised awkwardness, and strove to detaAig Tiqy as she__t1_1rn_ed_._awa~y.r TinyVClarenoe was heart whole still.â€" Chicago Evening Journal. H“ heleh Starr I ” sharply enunciated Mt. Snrgent, scrutinizing her roll of work. “ Four dollarsâ€"deduct 40 cents! ” Between 15,000 and 16,000 children are lost in London every year, but nearly 98 per cent. of them are restored to their parents through the aid of the police. AT last a. man has gone on record as generous enough to bequeath his fortune to his widow on condition that she marries again, instead of depriving her of it if she pursues that course. The pity of it is that the man is dead. IN accordance with custom, the Court Journal of London, in announcing the com- pletion of Queen Victoria‘s 70th year, gives the ages of her royal contemporaries as follows: King of the Netherlands, 72; King of Denmark, 71; King of Wurtem- burg, 66; Emperor of Brazil, 63; King of Saxony, (31; King of Sweden and Norway, 60; Emperor of Austria, 58; King of the Belgians, 54; King of Portugal, 50; King of Roumania, 50; Sultan of Turkey, 46; King of Italy, 45; Emperor of Russia, 44; King of the Hellenes, 43; King of Bavaria, 41; King of Siam, 35; German Emperor, 30; Emperor of China, 17; King of Servia, 12; and the King of Spain, Iris not often society finds itself in a shower of pearls, but it happened last week ‘ at a very smart ball in London. The Countess of Dudley broke a string of her famous necklace, causing for the moment a profound sensation in the crowded room, as the pearls flew in every direction, and were in imminent danger of being smashed or forever lost. Evidently Lady Dudley, beautiful as she is. antagonizes the family jewels. Not so many years ago the whole world was in arms because a casket filled with the almost priceless Dudley diamonds had been stolen in transitu from London to the oarl’s country seat. Nothing has ever been heard from the gems. Where they went to or who benefited by their pos- session remains a secret to this day, although an enormous reward was ofiered at the time for their recovery. The sense of this loss must have been keen in the minds of the titled company when it went down on all tours to search for the oountese’ fleeing pearls, pearls said to be second in size and color to no others in Europe. BEFORE the Royal Commission on English Elementary Education, Mr. J. G. Fitch testified what he saw done by a class of children 10 years of age in a school in Brussels. Around the room was a continu- ous blackboard and at its base a shelf. Both were marked off in sections. and on each shelf were crayons, compasses, clay, a wooden instrument for manipulating the clay and a graduated metrical rule. A child stood at each section, and the master standing in the middle of the mom said : “ Draw a horizontal line five centimeters long. Now draw a line three centimeters long at an angle of 45 degrees to the first." Thus continuing by a series of directions each completed a geometrical pattern. " Now,” he said, “ take clay and fasten it to the border of the pattern.” That made an ornamental framework. Thereafter the pupils continued to add pieces of clay, making additional lines, dots etc, after their own ideas or inventions, until at the end of the lesson each had a different design before him. Mr. Fitch says the lesson throughout was an exercise not in hand-work only, but in intelligence, in measurement, in taste and in inventiveness Many an objeEt in life must be attained by flank movements ; it is the zigzag road thgig leads tioithe mguntgiq top: The office should seek the man, but it ibould inspect him thoroughly before taking 1m. The reformer becomes a fanatic when he begins to use his emotions as a substitute for; pie reasoning fgoqlfiy. The Good Samaritan helps-the unfortu- nate wayfarer Without asking how be in- tends to vote. A Hopeless Task. Husband (100 years hence, when women rule)â€"â€"My dear, I expect to go to town to-dny. If you could spare me a little cashâ€" THERE appears to prevail among the laity a belief that the cure of cancer is seldom eflected by the use of the knife, and that, when it is used, the disease is quite certain to reappear. At the recent congress of German surgeons a number of them told of the aiter results of operations for the re- moval oi cancers from the tongue and throat. In one instance the whole tongue was removed from a patient 20 years ago, and the cancer never returned. Another patient first had the left side of his tongue removed, and as the disaase reappeared, he was again operated upon and the other side taken out. That was between five and six years ago, and yet since that time he has remained perfectly well. Prof. Kuster, of Berlin, presented a case of carcinoma of the tongue upon which he operated 10 years ago, and which has not returned since. Prof. Von Bergmann exhibited two patients ; one was a case operated upon two years previously, and the other four years before ; the disease had not returned. As for carcinoma of the throat, several patients were presented who had had the entire larynx removed, and now, several .years after the operation, there had been no signs of a recurrence of the disease. All the paths-of life lead to the grave, and the utmost that We can do is to avoid the short cuts. Prof. Wm. R. Thompson, M.D., of the University of the City of New York, says that more adults are carried off in this country by chronic kidney disease than by any other one malady, except consumption, and yet many people look upon a elighv kidney difficulty as of little consequence. Others take Warner’s Safe Cure and remove any possible danger. When kidney disease becomes chronic, or Bright’s Disease, it becomes a. very serious matter. It iauthe Ioolish aim of the atheist to scan infiqitude with n miorospope. When poverty comes in at the cottage door, true love goes at it with an axe. A vein of humor should be made visible without the help of a reduction mill. Folly must hold its tongue while wearing thewig .of .Wi9919m2 Wife (from bed)â€"Certaiuly, darling. You will find some loose change in my pocket. The belt remains with Chicago for first- class murderers, discovered and undiscov- ered. It is n possession no one envies. A Fish Hospital. A hospital for fish 1 This is the oddest thing heard of for a very long time, but it exists, and an ichthyologist, who knows all about it, sends particulars. Hospitals are springing up in all parts of the king- dom for the benefit of domesticated ani- mals. The horse, the dog, the cat and Winged creatures are cared for, and now a hospital for fish has been opened at the Midland Counties Fish Culture establish- ment at Malvern Wells. All fish are liable to expedemio, endemic and fungoid dis- eases, together with other maladies which may be due to natural or accidental causes, and those suffering from any of these affections are removed from their habitats at the establishments and placed in the hospitals, where they are carefully attended to. The home ol‘. rest, or finny hospital, consists of ponds, constructed in such a way that the patients may be readily scrutinized and dootored. A hospital without surgical aid would be lacking in an essential, and, therefore, the art of fish- healing has been carefully studied by the founder and proprietor of the hospital, who has invented and manufactured special medicine solutions for application to fishes of diflerent species, according to the nature of their sufferingsâ€"London Sporting News. Maxims for Memory. Stilts are no better in conversation than in a. foot-race. CURRENT TOPICS. How Be Saved His Mistress from Death in the Overwhelming Water. A large crowd of people attracted my at- tention about 6 o’clockthia evening on Main street. says a Johnstown letter to the Philadelphia Inquirer. On going closer I noticed that a. number of men and women were surrounding a (log, on which each and every one of the crowd was anxious to lavish with attentions and endearing terms more appropriately bestowed upon a. favorite child than an animal. 'i‘VCome here, Romeo, my noble old dog said onejyomgr}. â€"--c “ Give me a. kiss ; there is a. dear.” “Ah, Romeo,” said another, ” it was a pity Johns- town had not more such noble creatures as you are, and there would not be so many people dead here'now." - ‘ u L Elbe dog, a. beautiful water spaniel whose for was clipped so as to give him the ap- pearance of a. miniature lion, stood as quiet and dignified among the people as if he understood each word addressed to him, taking the evidence of appreciation as matters of course which he had every right to expect. SoonI understood what it all meant. Romeo belongs to Mrs. C. F. Kress, of Washington street, Johnstown. The day the flood-gates of the South Fork reservoir broke loose that lady went to the house of her sister, Mrs. A. 0. Brass, on Main street, taking the dog with her. While there the awfully disastrous waters came sweeping down upon them from Conemaugh. so that all the people in the house were compelled to get upon the root. There were seven in the party and Romeo made a. good eighth.__ But soon the terrible waves and floating debris raised horrible havoc with the build- ing. Suddenlya big wave dashed upon the roof. Mre.O.F. Kreee was knocked off her place of refuge and rapidly floated along withthe wild stream. No human being attempted to jump after her or make any effort for her rescue, because the surging flood had already dragged her be- yond all human reach. But Romeo,the lady‘s dog, forgetful of his own danger, had apparently been expecting what was coming. -. .. . 1 The waters had no more than closed above the sinking lady when the dog jumped after henand when her dress again appeared above the surface he immediately grasped it between his teeth. It was a heavy burden, but the animal seemed to make a double effort. Holding the dress in his mouth he gently but firmly pushed her forward through the waters toward a frame house, which was still defying the waves. Romeo‘s noble efforts proved suc- cessful. and in a few moments Mrs. Kreas was able to lay hold of one of the spars on the frame house and drag herself into com- parative safety. A CANINE HERO OF THE FLOOD. But alas I It was only temporary safety. Even before the woman had realized her escape the devastating waves came moun- tain high, rushing against the frame house. This time the building could not withstand. With a terrific crash the wooden sills seemed to be bursting apart, and once more the woman and her dog were at the mercy of the flood. The noble brute, however, was not to be dauntcd. Again he clung to his mistress very closely, not as if he were to rescue her from a waterly grave, but as if his whole life depended upon her safety. Constantly swimming by her side while she was borne upon the current he contrived to keep her head above water so as to prevent her drowning. For over half an hour the dog battled with the waves for her preservation. His noble, faithful endurance was at last rewarded. He succeeded in directing his valued burden toward Alma Hall and here Mrs. Kress was pulled out of the water. ' As she reached the roof unconsciousness overcame her, and during all that time Romeo, who seemed to think the woman dead, barked and howled in the most frantic manner. Only her returning breath pacified him and then he quietly and con- tently lay down at her feet. The note writer of the St. James’ Gazette says-z “ When a coachmen orpther Servant leaves his place ‘ through death ‘ he does not, as a rule, advertise for another [318.06. But there are exceptions to every rule, as the foliowing ‘ advertisement ' from the Times shows: The Hon.MrS. Mitford wishes to recommend her couchmun. Ten yours‘ personal character. Leaving through death. Totalabs‘naiuer. Ago 33. Married. Address A., 7 Cavendish square, W. “ Of course the poor fellow, when the ten years’ service is ended ‘ through death,‘ is now a. total abstainer ; but whose eye is this advertisement meant to catch ? I was not aware that the Times circulated in other worlds than ours.“ A Wise Expedient. Maudâ€"~80 you are going to marry your father‘s cashier ‘P At this time of the year men have a way of cutting 01f their beards altogether, or making some new adjustment of the hair upon their faces. In this way very startling effects are often producedpflisguises thrown of)”, and astounding revelations of character made. There is Major Blank, for example ; I have been meeting him all winter, more or less, and inasmuch as he has a red face, a jovial eye anda hearty manner, I have been inclined to set him down as a sincere, whole-souled sort of person ; but in an evil hour he cut off his moustache, thus revealing a. very bad month. In his present aspect I consider the Major 8. man to be feared and avoided. I should hesitate to lend him $10; if any underhand villeiny were perpetrated I should at once suspect him of being at the bottom of it ; andâ€"at least until snow flies again and the Major resumes his moustacheâ€"I shall keep his name on my index damnatus.â€"-“ Taverncr” in Boston Post. Isabellaâ€"Yea. Papa. says that if he rung away with the bank's funds, the money will still be in the family. What one man thinks is fun another thinkais folly. That is what gives each picturesque variety to courting. Be Believed in If. Miss Spook Chaoetâ€"Do you believe in aecqnd gighfi, Mr. Iieck ?‘ NY Peckâ€"You just bet I do. My marriage waa'a result of love at first sight. ‘ When shall we threa meet again ?‘ The designer evidently thought it biblical and not Shakspsareun, and he had probably nsver read the succeeding line. ‘ In thunder, lightning or in rain ?’ "-Phi1adclphia In- quirer. Thvx's Vic/as the story gleaned from the people surrounding the dog, and when I called to see Mrs. Kress at her sister's home she Verified every particular of the above. Au observing lawyer said the other day: “ I have often heard of peculiarinscriptions on tombstones; but one came under my observation a few days ago that Ithink deserves a notice. It was something decidedly out of the common, and, while the sentiment was praiseworthy and a 'oonsummation devoutly to he wished,’ had a strong element of the ludicrous in it. I was passing along Main street, in German- town, and I stopped at the corner of Queen street for a moment to look at the old- fsshioned stucco and stone church there. Its old steeple and clock are landmarks. It is the old Trinity Church, and it stands in the centre of a grassy plot about half an acre in extent. Part of it is used as a burying ground. There are three graves close together, but only one of them is marked with a tombstone. On this are the name and date of death of the deceased occupier, and beneath it is the rather remarkable inscription: A}; Odd Epcommepdatiou. A Peculiar Epitaph. A Risk in Shaving, Glorious Visions of Gold and Bills Melt Into Thinnest Air. Herrmann, the magician, is his own best advertiser. He declares himself that if he was able to mix in with the public enough he would need no advance man or press agent. Wherever he does go he always makes his presence felt, and almost every one of the people who witness his marvel- lous little sleightvof-hand tricks is anxious to go to the theatre and see more of him. i The other afternoon he dropped in with a friend at a popular down-town resort, and was introduced to a couple of gentlemen at the bar. The magician’a Mephistophelean face marks him everywhere and his two new acquaintances knew at once who he was, and regarded him wonderingly. Pretty soon Herrmann said: “Excuse me, sir.” ‘to one of the gentlemen, and, taking his hat from his head allowed a huge roll of bills to drop on the bar. “It is very careless of you to carry that amount of money there. my friend,” said the wizard, and as the gentleman reached for the roll Herrmann threw it up into the air and it disappeared. After the gentleman had been laughed at and had done the proper thing the wizard turned to the second gentleman and said : “ My dear sir, you should light your cigar properly. The one you are smoking is burning up one side. Allow me,” and gently removing the cigar from the gentle- man’s mouth. Herrmann deftly slipped a fresh cigar from its wrapper, returned the burning cigar, and then proceeded to light the fresh cigar as a cigar should belighted. Both men now regarded the magician with amazement and some degree of suspicion. They closely eyed his every move. When he casually pulled out his watch to note the time they thought he would bring a rabbit or an egg along with it. Upon the little finger of his right hand Herrmann wears two beautiful rings. In the upper one is set a rare brown diamond between two white gems of purest ray serene. To show the first of his new friends that there was no hard feeling existing between ‘ them, the wizard agreed to loan him this ring. “ Hold out your finger," he said, and the gentleman willingly did so. He thought surely that he was wearing the ring, when Herrmann exhibited it in its , proper place on his own finger. The gentle. l man was dumfounded. Then Herrmann ‘ took off the ring and said: “ You see I drop it in my sleeve,” which he apparently did. Then he stroked his long imperial with his left hand, and there the ring glistened from his little finger. The man to whom it was to be loaned rubbed his eyes, looked dazed and told the man behind the white apron to make it the same as before. A gentle- man in the party started to roll a cigarette, and Herrmann begged a paper. The little book was handed him and he tore out a leaf. “ Now, watch me carefully," he said, and every eye was on him as he crushed up the delicate rice paper into a pellet, and then began to pick it to bits. One piece escaped him, but he caught it before it reached the floor and rolled it up with the other fragments. Handing the pellet to one of the gentleman, he asked him to carefully unroll it. This was done, and a whole and perfect cigarette paper was revealed, greatly to the astonishment of those who had seen him tear it to bits. Taking a curious gold coin from his pocket, he asked the man next him to examine it. The man took it and looked at itâ€"it was an ordinary silver dollar. He looked sheep- ish and passed it backâ€"the gold coin was in the palm of the Wizard‘s hand.â€"â€"Chicag0 Herald. Mr. Wm. Stilling, 8. Wellington street (London) baker, left home on Thursday evening, as he said, to pay a visit to the Sons of England Lodge in London West, and before starting handed his money to his wife. Since that time nothing has been heard of him, although the most diligent inquiry has been made. Mr. Stilling wasp. man of strictly temperate habits and his family relations all that could be desired. His friends on imagine no good reason for his disappearance. ‘Vhile trying a wife-beating case law week, Magistrate Smith, of Philadelphia, laid down from the bench this proposition : “ It’s a woman’s right to ease her hue- band." Mrs. Margaret Quinn. who died in New York the other day at the age of 110 years, smoked vigorously a strong pipe and pos- sessed wit which was the marvel of the neighborhood. The Clyde seamen and firemenmho hemp been on n. strike¢ have resumed work on the (.wnera‘ terms. Method In 1113 Silence. “ BoIth told me he had borrowed some money from you. I was surprised, be- cause I never heard you say anything about it.” Abraham Lincoln‘s Views on the Im- portant SubjeCt. Talking about John Hay, formerly Private Secretary of President Lincoln,1he Graphic tells this new and original story of the latter: Stephen A. Douglas, short and stout, and Owen Love-joy, of medium size, were once gossipping together in Lincoln’s nresence upon the proper length of a man’s legs. “' Now,” said Lovejoy, “ Abe’s legs are altogether too long, and yours,Douglas, I think are a little short. Let’s ask Abe what he thinks of it.” The conversation had been carried on W'th a view to Lin- coln‘s overbearing it, an they closed it by saying : “Abe, what do you think about it ‘2” Mr. Lincoln had a faraway look as he sat with one leg twisted around the other, but he responded to the question: “ Think of what? ” “Well, we‘re talking about the proper length of a man's legs. We think yours are too long and Douglas’ too short, and we’d like to know what you think is the proper length.” “ Well,’ said Mr. Lincoln, “ that’s a matter that I’ve never given any thought to, so of course I may be mistaken ; but my first impression is that a man’s legs ought to be long enough to reach from his body to the ground.” This was a good while ago. The lady xs happily married again. You may be sure that a girl who can sell goods to the pro- prietor of the store will not be any too long in getting a. husband, and a good one, too. â€"Ch'icago Mail. I heard a story about a. pretty little widow the other day which contains a hint to young women who are suddmly thrown upon their own resources. This little woman lost her husband, and in the course of time it became necessary to do something to support herself. After trying a good many places she was given a posi. tion in a State street dry goods store, with the handkerchief counter as her depart- ment. The first day she was there a gentleman came along and stopped at her counter to look at the goods. She felt that she ought to sell him something, so she Went at it energetically, and though the man tried in every way to elude her he couldn’t do it, and was finally forced to buy a half-dozen handkerchiefs. When she got her sslsry at the end of the Week she foundasubstantial increase over the figure at which she had been engaged. She asked the cashier the reason. Because of a. sale you made the first day you came. If you remember, you sold half a dozen handkerchiefs to a gentleman after making a. long talk." “ Yes, I remember.” “ That was Mr. Pararidge. He thought your salary ought‘tqblg raised.” Georgy-Amelia, I have a question Ameliaâ€"Pop it.y George. “No, I still hope to got it back." WAYS OF A WIZARD. Au Able Little Snleswoman. The “ Questlon" is Called. LENGTH 0 F LEGS. New Paragraphs Got Up on the Rapid Transit Plan. A herd of elk numbering 1,000 head was seen on a. point of the mountains near the residence of Mr. Robinson, on Upper Elk, wiggling, gne day lgsgweek. __ Wright Burke, of Troup County, GIL. has been married fifteen years and has fourteen childrenâ€"twine five times, triplets once and one solitary and alone. John A. Phillips (colored), of Chcpaohet, Mass” has spent thirteen years in State prison on two sentences. In each case he was convicted on the testimony of his own wife and daughter. Now it has been ascertained that the Women perjured them- selves, and that he is an innocent and terribly wronged man. Lima, 0., has n. Fagin, who offered a. watch to the one of a. gang of 10-year-old boys who would bring him the most stolen brass in a certain time. They have all captured the watch in the city jail, but they will carry no more coals to Newcastle Ln the shape of brass to Fagin.~ Mr. McKibben, of Henry County, G’fiq capturea a. turtle in Walnut Creek the other day that weighed eighty-eight pounds. “ It’s head was as large as a. dog’s,” says a. local newspaper man, ” and when out off snapped in two an inch plank which Mr. McKibben placed in its mouth." John Bafrett, of Perry Township, 1116., aged 74. is in jail for chastising Mrs. Barrejt (aged 70) with tpe pgkpr._ _ In Russia everly man found inebristed in the public streets is imprisoned, and when he has recovered from his intoxication is set to sweep the streets for a day. Over two years ago at Granola, 15., Marcus Counts was engaged to marry a young lady named Edith Pierce. He betrayed her and left Granola, going to Olatbo. His hallucination now is that the girl he betrayed is petsecuting him. A Waldo County correspondent of the Portland Press writes: “In the town of Troy, Waldo County, a man by the name of Gracelon owns a mare that has given birth to four colts within one year. They are 9.11 alive and doing well." And Yet, With All His Faulis, How “'0 Love Him. The small boy is the same the world even He has the universal language, and if he landed during the marble season in Tim‘ buotoo he‘d be perfectly able to make the Timbuctoo boy understand his opinion of alloys and tore. This small boy is a demo- cratâ€"fine clothes do not obtain with him ; indeed, they are rather scorned, and a Well- dressed boy is at present grabbed by his fellows and taunted with bein' “ Little Lord Fauntleroy ” and asked in a whining tone: “ Why doesn’t ’00 go home to dearest ‘2" Prof. Alzxsnder Graham Bell has built a. house boat, in which he will cruise in Nova Scotian waters this summer. It is put together in catamaran style, and contains large parlors, billiard rooms, etc. On board Mr. and Mrs. Bell will entertain many friends. Mark Twain’s forthcoming book, “ A. Yankee at King Arthur's Court,” is said to be a satire on English nobility and royalty. They have a. new way of planting orange trees near San Diego, 031. They bore a small hole and drop in a dynamite cart? ridge, the explosion of which makes a hole big enough for the tree, and loosening the soil to the depth of several feet enables the tree to take root eaaier. ‘ There is no sentiment about the small boy. He is all things to all men, and that is impudent. No pavement is too sacredto keep him from writing his opinion in whitest chalk upon it, and no lamp-post is too high and no step too much decorated for him to occupy it and view any passing show. He confesses to but one weakness, and that is dogs. Cats he holds in utter contempt, regarding their tails merely as an appendage by which to swing them, and girls he loathes and in his heart wonders what they were made for. The trouble with most of the mothers Whoare trying to make Little Lord Fauntle- roya of their boys is that they begin on the outside. Frederick T. Roberta, M.D., Examiner in Medicine in the Royal College of Surgeons, London, Eng;N in speaking of Bright’s Dis- ease, says : 4' Death is usually hastened by uric acid poisoning, serous inflammation, bronchitis, pneumenia, dropsy, or by apo- plexy.” Warner’s Safe Cure is a. guernntee against fatality from these terrible malaâ€" dies. because it cures the cause (diseased kid~ neye), and puts the kidneys in a. healthy condition, enabling them to expelthepoiscn or waste mottcr irom the System. A London paper advertises: “Lady wanted to draw, at home. original designs for furniture.” For a few years he will run away from them, and after that time or until he gets married he will run after them. The small boy is an institution we could ill-afford to dispense with, says a writer in the Louis- ville Courier-Journal, and, like a great many other institutions, he occasionally needs a thorough warming up. I would like to suggest to his guardians that nothing is quite so efficacious for this purpose as a very high-heeled slipper; the heel affords a fine grip and the slipper is less likely to get out of your hand because of this. as you make it caress the eelâ€"like creature in your grasp. The clergy commend this, for it draws the blood from the boy's head and lets him coolly think out the right and wrong of his actions, while it quickens his conscience. Tempora Mutantur. 1118 FIRST. Bjenkine#By the way, Bjonse, how old is find: baby of young ?_ A deathlike stillness pervaded the house, but suddenly the trombone player pulled the machine wide open and let out a. blast that filled the building with a deafening volume of sound, extinguished the footlights, and brought the corpse to its feet in a hurry. The orchestra. leader, white with passion, turned on the man with the double-geared horn and hissed : “Why did you do that, you old baldheaded, weak-eyed, paleied remnant of hereditary insanity ? ” Bjonea - (pro'mptly)â€"One year, two moth and eight; days. ms SIXTH. Bjenkinsâ€"By the way, Bjonsa, how old is Ehat yoquest_baby 9f _y_ou_r§ now ?> ‘.‘ A fly lit on my music and I played it for a full note,” and the stricken man bowed his head in silent anguishâ€"Chicago Times. Bjonés â€" Oh, hanged if I know. A year or so. Ask my wife. "' She‘s growing weiker fist," whigpered the doctor. “ See I the death damp is on her brow: Oneâ€"twojâ€"ah I Sheis gope.’_’ And a Death Scene Was Changed to a Decidully Lively One. Last night an entire change of programme was presented. The play was a painful melo-drama with a and act in it, where a. handsome young woman diesa lingering flenth surrounded by her weeping friends. In the first act four men are killed, a boiler explosion occurs in the second, and two steamboats have a. collision in the third, all of which takes place prior to the death- bed scene. These realistic features, along with the incidental music, must have eflected the trombone player‘s nerves. The invalid commenced to die and forgive cruel wrongs, while the orchestra played a low and mournful strain. A doctor stood by the bedside, watch in hand, counting the pulse beats. Muflled sobs came from the audience and the splash of falling tears could be heard in the gallery. FOR HIM WHO RUNS. THE MUSIC WAS FLY. THAT SMALL BOY. 1t \Vas a. Joke on James, But He Proved Equal to the Emergency. James Gordon, of this city, was con siderably surprised last night when three omnibus loads of his friends and acquaint- ances from Nor-walk and the surrounding country alighted at his boarding house. As they poured in on him and began to mingle congratulations, with requests for an introduction to “the bride,” he was staggered, and explained that as ho had not yet secured that very necessary par- ticipnnt in a wedding there must be a. mis- ‘ take. whereupon his unexpected guests pro- duced invitation cards and accused Jim of trifling about a serious subject. At any rate, they did not think it; fair that he should disappoint his friends. It was evident that some practical joker had been putting in his fine work, and the party convinced Jim that it was his fiuty to get even. “A good-looking fellowlike you should be able to find a. girl willing to marry him," auggestqd o_1_1_q of thp pafiyl anell, I’ll try," Enid' James. "Amuse yourselves for half an hour,while I see what can be done.” He called upon Miss Lizzie Emmons, a neighbor, and explained his pressing Decea- sity. The sudden proposal almost took her breath away, but, recognizing her neighborly duty, she nmiably consented, and said she would get on her best dress and be ready within the half hour. Gordon meantime rushed beck to his friends and told them of his luck. It was too late to get a minister, but a Justice of the Peace in the party volunteered to tie the nuptial knot. Other guests went out into the highways and byways and gathered in a German oqrnetist, an Irish fiddler and an Italian harpiet, with “lashin’s” of eata- bles and drinkables. The bride came to time promptly, her health wee toasted in many a brimming beaker, and after the feast there was a merry dance until past midnight, when the newly-paired couple departed on a bridal tour and the guests rolled home in deep contentâ€"Bridgeport (007121.) letter in New York Press. What a. refreshing picture of youthful beauty and sweet temper 1 And Gretch n owes it all to the splendid health she en- joys. Wise beyond her years, she very sensibly avoids the ills and maladies which esp the health and strength of so many of the women of our land, by the use of Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription. This is the only remedy for women‘s peculiar weak- nesses and ailments, sold by all druggists, under a positive guarantee from the manu‘ facturers. For conditions, see wrapper around bottle. SARAVIA,the great Mexican Remedy positively and penuanontly cures all feminleirregumritiea. Avaluablemedicine. Relief immediate. Price $1, Sendrfor circulars YU CATAN MEDICINE COMPANY, 18 W. 14m St. N. York. - ~ - THE COOK’S BEST FRIEND Hump \Viih yaur name, to print cards 5 mark books, linen, etc. Slngle stamp 25c. Club of six, $1.00. Cash to accom: pany order. H. BAIINAIBD, Rubber Works, Hamilton, Ont. The Royal Agricultural Showat Windsor, Eng, is n. remarkable success. While on the grounds I heard great regret constantly expressed at the absence of the usual Cana- dian exhibit, this being the finest show the society has ever held. The Colony of Victoria this year sent an exhibit of pro- duce, not {or competition. Millars‘ cheese is the only sample of Canadian produce hitherto shown. I met very few Canadian bu) ers of live stock. “ No, Mr. Meredith, you must; put away this madness. I can never, never be yours; there is an insurmountable obstacle." “ Do not any sol Tell me What this in- surmountable obstacle is, love, that I may crush it as I would a worm in my path." " It’s a. husband in New York. ’ to ferret out and discover, if they can, a single case where Dr. Pierce’s Golden Medi- cal Discovery has been usedfor torpid 1iVer, indigestion, impure blood, or consumption in its early stages, without giving imme- diate and permanent relief; provided, of course, that the directions have been rean- onnbly wellfollowed. A 3â€"year-old child named Cote, residing on St. Daguilion street, Quebec, fell into a pan of boiling water yesterday and is so severely scalded that it is not expected to recover. The Last Resort. First Kansas Trampâ€"Bil), I’m goin' ofi uv__the rganin a. fewjays. It is said that arrangements have been concluded between Anderson & Co. and the Dominion Government for the establish- ment; of a 10-lmot steamship service be- tween England and Canada. A Place of Good Luck. Country Editor's Wife~How happy you seem to-night, Edward. Have you had any good luck to-Qay ? one. Second Kansas Tran-mp ~ What air ya gqin" ter do fox“ alivini blot ggfn’ geg‘vyogl‘if Country Editor~We1L I should any I had. You can have that silk dress now. “ What has happened ‘1” " Farmer Hendricks, who hasn’t paid for his paper for seven years, came in to- day and stopped his subsoription.”â€"Even- ing Wisconsin. {8500 offered for an incurable case of Catarrh in the head, by the manufacturers of Dr. Sagc’s Catarrh Remedy. Chicago Sportâ€"~01“ baseballista have become too honest for any use, all cf a sudden. Friendâ€"Why do you think so ? SportEOf late not one of them can be induced to even steal a base.â€"C’hz’cago Globe. Fully Equipped. “ Bromley, I hear you are going to start housekeeping ‘2” “ Yes, Durlingger.” “ What have you got towara it ?" ” A Wife." “3101'er lidnshs Tramfii~â€"N0,U1’m igoin’ $.61: start a. new townâ€"Thug. Guestâ€"~A glass of water, please. WaiterkYes, eah ; without “I Guestâ€"With or without what ? Waiterâ€"Microbes. Guestâ€"Without. “fairerâ€"Yes, 81h. Distilled water for AN IMPROMPTU WEDDING. “APE 1 . “EN AND PENCIL STAMP. , r u w $52.: Hor Wealth of tangled yellow curls, Her eyes cerulean hlu9, The crimson dye of lips and checks Outvie the miubow‘s hue. Two dimples nestle in her cheeks, And one imprints her chin ; Hot sunny smiles play hide and soak, To chase them out and in. Sonmthing to Think About. Philadelphia “‘nter. Detectives Wanted Honesty the Cause. H 01? L. 28 89. Gretchen.