The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

N uptials of One of the Turkish Imperial Brides with an Aid-de-Camp of Low Degree unandsome Boudoieris- ordered Bed-Chambers 7 Oscar Wilde in His Glory. Waifs. Tl college female cmnmuncements mu; miss 1' mutations. AT :1 pl"; iu party the other «lay the )‘unth who mcklo ' hugged all the girls vas put down as a fr and squeczy fellow. GIRLS, don’t'kghink a fellow isa gentle man because he gives you a polite bow Bowers are always knavcs, so a enema-play er informs us. FROM the steamer’s dock she behold a barge laden with cotton. “Ah!” nmrmurea the fair Angelica, “my bosom friend is baled out.” RECIPE for becoming msthetic: ‘One die» tionax‘y of art terms, three oil paintings, and a job lot of Old crockery ware. Mix. No brains required. MISS LILLIWIIITH, who is about to marry, remarked on Memorial day that she could sympathise with the brave boys in blue, having lost her hand in an engagement. HE 115 sitting in the parlor with her when a rooster crowed in the yard, and Lleaning over, he said: “Chanticleer.” “I wish you would; 1 am as sleepyas I can be.” He cleared. A PROVIDEXM; girl, on being told that her misc hair was coming off, replied that it was no such thing, as she didn’t; wear false hair. mirror BROWN (l’hilistiue)i“l heard it was all ‘ofi" between you and Miss Roweshctt.” VVobbinson(austhete)#“Ya-as. Incompati- bihty of complexioniishc don’t suit my furnitchar!” THEY were at a dinner party, and he re marked that he supposed she was fond of ethnology. She said she was, but she was not very well, and the doctor had told her not to eat anything for dessert but oranges. Tm: winds were whispering low and the sentinel stars had set their watch in the sky as she leaned from her chamber window and tenderly asked: “Is that you, Henry?” “Coursh ’tiz; pretty ’oman dozzen know ’er own hushband when sh’ seezim.” “I CANNOT sing the old songs,” shrieked an amateur soprano, the other night, and while she took in breath for the next line a young man who had looked in for a moment was heard to remark, casually, but empha- tically; “You juat bet you can’t.” It broke up the eoneert 011 the spot. “Gmuum, do you love me?” “I did ~~yon know how fondly-1mth “ 0 George, how can you say ‘1)ut ‘3’ \Ylmt has changed you ‘3" “\Vell, Clara, I have a prejudicem 11737 what under the sun were you caressing that dog for?” “0 George, how unjust to poor Fido! H0 is only a friend.” EVEN children are interested in the story of M. Faure’s Wonderful invention of an ap- paratus for storing electricity. A Brooklyn boy, who had been listening to his father’s reading of Sir \Villiam Thomson's letter on the subject, took advantage of a pause to re- mark: “011, won’t that be jolly, Ina? \Vhen your tongue gets tired pa can just hitch a cell to it and keep it agoin’ the same as H CYCl‘. A BLVEJEOTTLF, fly was bumpn 5: his head against the window-pane. “Jane,” said the lady, “open the windov and let the poor fly out.” “But see what a pouring rain.” said Jane. “You have :1 kind heart, Jane; let him go into the next room where it is warm, and when the shower is over 1th him out.” “WIFE!” exclaimed Job Shuttle in alarm, “there is a depth of infamy in your cooking, I’ve just swallowed no less than three cher- ry-stoncs from this pic.” “What of it?” re- tortcd the woman, a little nettled; “you don‘t expect a cherry-orchard will grow up IIAI r y . - msxde of you, do you?" Sllence that betok cued an unanswcrablc argument. Fm: nearly three hours they sat in the se- eret ti'ysting place conjuring up the familiar images of love’s young dream. At the ex- piration of that time her father appeared upon the scene with anger in his eye and a. pitchfm'k in his hand. “Fly, fly,” she me x 1 I Elaimed, “or you are lost!" But he had been sitting on anounce of chewing gum that had treacherously slipped from her pocket, and he couldn’ have flown if he had been a bald- hcaded eagle. Two years later she was wooed and won by another young man, but she always preserved the strips of Alfonso’s pantaloons that her father bore home in tri- umph upon the prongs 0f the pitchfork. True love can never die. The following description of the recent marriage of Naile Sultana, one of the two im- portant brides, was furnished to the London Standard by an English lady whewasaninvit- ed guest: “On our arrival at the house, a large building situated up a steep, narrow street not far from Delma Baghtche palace, we were ushered by half a dozen eunuchsthrough an anteâ€"room. in which lounged a fewat< tendants, into a fine apartment crowded with slaves. There we were requested to wait, as the sultana had not yet completed her toilet, eofTee and cigarettes being placed before us to while away the time. “'1', were just beginning to tire of watching the throng, when the stir without proclaimed the coming of the bridegroom, a man of 24 years of age, short and inclined to stoutness, but not wanting in a certain eomelincss. Naile Sul- tana had herself chosen him at the Friday’s «whim/rile. This power of selecting a husband by inspection, as it Were, is a privilege of princesses of the. house of ()tlnnan, and is carried to such an extent that even if the favored gentleman already possesses a wife he must divorce her and wed the sultana. lascs of this kind are rare, but one at least has occurred during the latter half of the present century, when an oflieerwas com- pelled, much against his will, to comply with the custom.‘ Being rich, however, he sought consolation in keeping his discarded love in a separate establishment. a proceed- ing which is supposed never to have reached the ears of his royal partner. In the present instance, on the contrary, Mehemet Bey was quite ready to embrace the chance which fortune offered him. Poor and without in- terest, a simple aid-de-camp uncertain of WOMAN GOSSIP. then went and looked in the A Sultana’s Marriage. Waifs. promotion, he suddenly finds himself the husband of his sorereign’s sister, a general and highness to boot, His appearance was the s1gnal fora frantic rush, to which he re- sponded by scattering quantities of silver piastres (in olden days they would have been golden li' ‘) among the slaves. The bride- groom having passed into the sultana’s pres- ence, the ceremony of marriage was iminedr ately performed, but only witnessed by the sultana‘s mother. It merely consisted in the imam tying them together with a rope, and declaring them man amd wife. Directly this was over, Mchemet l’asha escaped by a side entrance to avoid being~ mobbed and buffeted, according to the common practice of the Slaves, who must have been appeased by unlimited baeksheesh. As soon as the doors were thrown open the whole mob poured lielt(i'-skeltei' into the inner cham- ber, where the bride was sitting in state, with a sister by 11“; Side. All the slaves, and also the few Armer 1 ladies who had been invited, bent humbly down and kissed the hem of her garment, but with us she shook hands without rising, and motioned us to chairs very near her. A fair, sweet- faeed woman of som‘ '22 summers is Naile Sultana. She was dressed in a loosehtting Turkish robe of rose-colored silk, slashed with gold, while a long white gauze veil, likewise embroidered with gold, drooped down from behind the litle cap that sur- mounted her tightly-drawn up hair. On her shapely hands and bosom sparkled magnifi- cent diamonds. Her single-button gloves had burst in fastening, and altogether her toilet was far less perfect than we had ex: pected. Throughout there have been no amusements beyond a band playing Euro- pean music in the court-yard. The whole affair was a confession of the economy now necessarily reigning~ at the palace.” 'l he room of many a girl which used to bc a perfect cobweb hall is now, says the New York correspondent of the Cincinnati En- quirer, receiving the utmost attention at her hands. She often makes the walls hideous with Oriental monstrosities in art or adorns her dressing-case with frights in needlework and paintings of her own; yet alongr with much that is far from admirable in the pres- ent passion for household decoration there are some peculiarities and effects that are extremely commendable. The love of home will be strengthened by the habits of indus« try and patience cultivated by our women in the efforts to make their home beautiful. As picture dealers and buyers insensiblyeducate themselves in art by familiarity with what is truly beautiful and worthy, so the femi- nine household decorator will learn by nu- merous mistakes to distinguish between what is artistic in her work and what is not. Even serious mistakes, made at a consider- able expense of time and money, are educa- tional in their tendency, both to the art am- ateur and the household decorator. Every woman who tries to beautify her home is truly an art amateur as the man who indulges his liking for pictures, statuary and other costly works of art. \Vlien we began, two or three years ago, to adorn our houses with Japanese tapestries, fans, umbrellas, screens, and banners, we had no dream of where it would lead us. The taste for color and variety has grown upon us until now we re- ject all that is cheap, mean, gaudy, and of: fensive in such objects, and, studying our decorations carefully be ‘e purchasing, we give variety by adding‘s _ broideries, table- scarfs, ehair-scarfs, (the new name for tidies) straw and willow baskets, in all sorts of pretty and fantastic forms, and decorated with ribbons, embroideries, velvet, plush, and satin bands and bars, with tassels, balls, and acorns of colored wools and floss silks. Besides, there is a multiplicity of forms into which porcelain, delf, and glass are manipu- lated to aid in the work of making homes more ornate and attractive. Of course, this sort of thing can be easily run into absurd- ity. For example, take the girls who are elaborately painting that necessary piece of crockery which they see when, before going to bed, they look for the hidden man. They mean well, and the results of their labors are often dazzlineg beautiful, but they never- theless ought to be discouraged. But they can be forgiven that particular vagary, and commended for turning their general atten- tion to beautifying their homes. A few days ago, says the Troy Times, a man and woman of respectable appearance presented themselx es at the front door of a residence in Troy and asked to see the gen- tleman of the house. The pair were usher- ed into the parlor, and soon the gentleman sought presented himself. The stranger arose, and, in gentlemanly tones and well- ehosen English, said that he and the lady accompanying him had called to be married. The gentleman of the house is not a minis- ter of the gospel, neither does he hold any civil office that entitles him to Inakea loving couple man and wife. r l The stranger continued, however, that he did not expect his listener to perform the marriage ceremony, but simply asked the privilege of having it performed inthe house. He explained that his people lived in the same part of the old country as the ances- tors of the gentleman of whom he was ask- ing the great favor, and that he and his bride to he, came from a distance to he nun"- ried in 'l‘roy, but they had no friends or ac- quaintances here. Strange as was the re- quest, it was granted, and :1 prominent 1nin~ ister sent for. The ceremony \'as quickly performed, and all n ere content. The non" ly-married pair left the house with profuse thanks to the gentleman who had so kindly loaned his parlors for the ceremony. An in- vestigation of the couple‘s statements was made, and the young man was found to be all that he reprsented. I was at an “at home” yesterday and saw wsthetieism in its glory, although it is to he observed that many devoted disciples of the guild, unable to resist the pressure of public ridicule in the papers and 011 the stage, have gone over to the l’hilistines. Oscar \Vilde was, however, there, and in his glory, for his long hair and siekly~green eravat had a unique coat and a pair of trousers to keep them company. “His trousers, are, indeed, ‘too too’” whispered my neighbour, “for there is material enough in them to make four pair!" The great Maudle was flopping on a divan, his hands folded, his eyes ups turned, while a “precious” creature in kin- dred “art colors" communed with him. Pres- Married in a. Borrowed House. Handsome Boudoirs. The Great Mandle. ently, while a long-haired being playedupon thevioloncello, and ere ayoungladyhadhui'st forth into a. rapturous German lied, I noticu ed in the hallâ€"way a decidedly pretty girl who had just arrived. She was trying to take offa Newmanhet coat which fitted her so closely that one of the buttons burst as she did so, and this chmarket coatfloh, “precious” incongruity of cut and material 1 iwas made of “crushed strawberry” hued cloth. “Wren, with the :153::]St2111(30 of the page and her friends, she had succeeded in disembarr ssing herself of this garment, she stood revealed in a “quite too too” robe of palcst green cloth, trimmed with olive vel- vet, and made in the exact style as that worn by Marguerite'in “Faust,” down to the Chatelaine pocket and the Old silver clasp and girdle. Top this with an unmis- takably nineteenth century bonnet, and foot it with boots of our day, and you may well believe that this lovely but misguided girl looked as though she had just stepped from some such extravaganza as “Lc l’etit Faust.” The hostess did not on this oc casiou~~and does not~encourage this style of attire by personal emulation. Like the Baroness dc Chamber in “Fron-Frou,” she lets other peo ple make themselves ridiculous. M0044->>o§>â€"â€"~â€"- Steam Whistles in a Fog ~ Curious Phe- nomena. Captain Shirley, of the steamerCity of Lawrence, of the Norwieh and New York 'l‘ransportation Company’s line, reports a strange phenomenon on the Sound during foggy nights7 which is worthy the investi- gation of scientific men. He says that when the steamer City of Lawrenee was three or four miles east of Stratford Shoals light, on the night of the 12th May, he heard a whistle which sounded oil' the starhoard how. He blew the whistle of his heat several times, but could get no reply. He stopped his boat, blew three whistles, and was delayed three minutes, when the steamer State of New York suddenly appeared, blew two whistles 11nd passed him on the left. 011 the same night, when near Faulkner’s Island, the State of New York whistled t0 the north of the Lawrence. She blew two whistles, and the New York returned one blast, and she passed to the southward. Capt. Shirley did not hear her whistle from the time that he heard her first blast until she passed him. \Vhistles were heard to the eastward, but not to the westward that night. Sunday night, when the Lawrence was two miles from Bartlett Reef lifeboat, the bell was heard plainly, but when the Lawrence had get within a mile of the life- boat they lost the sound until within an eighth of a mile of it, when they saw the glimmer of the light. The same phenomen- on uncured Oil the Cornfield light. The \ 'nter was calm, and a light northeast- ly breeze was blowing. “'hen of?" Hunting- ton, on the same night, Captain Shirley heard a. whistle blow four or five times. It then grew fainter and fainter, until it could be no longer heard. He thought that it was a steamer going away from him. After run- ning for two or three minutes, he hequ a whistle close ahead on the starboard how. The Lawrence blew three whistles and backed, and had to hail a large tug with barges in tow to leave their helm to their starboard to prevent a collision. The tug passed the Lawrence with about ten feet of lee room. Capt. Mott, an old Sound navi- gator, remembers the oeeurence of similar phenomena on the night of the collision be- tween the steamers Stonington and Narra- gansett, in June, 1880. \Vhy the sound of whistles is not con- \'eyed as well on a foggy night as on a Clear one is a problem to be solved. It cannot be attributed to head winds or heavy seas, for the sea was calm and the air almost motion- less. The signals at Huntingdon and Exe- cution lights have been heard over fifteen miles against a northeast gale. The navi- gators of the Sound are anxious to have the phenomena explained. “an «ow «kwâ€"â€" Drill:ng Half a Year. The following report of the rescue of nine Japanese sailors by the Pacific steamship City of l’ekin, is printed in the San Francisco Chronicle of June 30 : The Japanese had been blown out to sea in a storm which occurred December 9, 1880. They lost their masts and rudder in the storm, and had been drift- ing at the mercy of the winds, they knew not where. After their own provisions were exhausted they subsisted on their cargo, mostly beans and dried fish, and such rain water as they could catch durng the six months which had elapsed since the typhoon occurred. They had burned most of the small woodwork, doors, berths, windows, etc., of their vessel for fuel, and were on short food rations, 40 beans per day for each man being the allowance. Their fire, when put out from time to time, they had rekind- led by rubbing two pieces of wood together. They had given up all hope of ever seeing land or anything human again, when, on Saturday, the 28th of M 21y, in latitude 36° 37’ north, longitude 143° 54‘ east, about 300 miles from the Bay of Yeddo and Yokohama, they sighted the Pekin 011 the wide waste of water. Captain Berry, in answer to their signals of distress, bore down‘ and sent one of the boats off with an officer and the doctor to examine into their sanitary con- dition, and the poor souls were soon landed on her deck. One of their number had died the day previous from exposure, hunger, and anxiety. Aurnm'un only 19, Alida Mayer has had a great amount of matrimonial trouble. She married a wealthy oil speeulator at (lorry, l’a., three years ago and soon deserted him, stealing $5,000 of his money. She then went to live in Buffalo, where her beauty quickly won a second husband ; and she lived happily with him, but only for a few months. The first husband found her by means of detec- tives, and she was compelled to fly without being able to steal more than a few hundred dollars from the second husband. lnChicago she married a third husband: but there she was again prosecuted, for the first and second husbands joined in the pursuit, and she had to hastily quit the third before she had rob- bed him at all to escape arrest for bigamy and larceny. SHE complained to her milkman that he did not give her good measure; and he said it was the fault of her pitcherâ€"he filled it chalk full always. She admitted it was so, and told him she was glad he spoke the truth at all times. Nurwhh, 11"., 1mm: 90 4...».fi Ull'lé, if any of youhavcmmlc upyourmind that you “ Iron/(71ft marry l/w best mun that m'vr lbw], I/me f” skip this little sermon, be- cause it will have no interest for you. Men will shut their ears If they have a spark of (lclicauy, for every word of this is print?” and (‘ONI/H/(‘NUIIL MY Tl-IX'I‘. The text 01' rather the occzmiuu for whatl am about to say on the subject of marriage, was this: ])1'r/{'r'r/’,"(/, 1'0 Young Wmnm who want III/~- Imn (1s. About a- week ago, a young woman of twenty-six (she said twenty-six, so 1 am sure about her age), came to me in regard to her health; and after our professional convention we fell into a pleasant and general chat. She was delightfully 'frank, and said, while we were discussing the ever fruitful subject of matrimony: “ 1 wish I was little.” “ That is too had,” I replied, “ I have been admiring your grand, queenly propor- tions ever since you entered: and now you spoil it all hy showing that you are notgrateâ€" ful.” “I can‘t help it; 1 wish I didn't weigh mum than eifiht ' minds, and wasn’t mow Y o > I ' ‘ ~ ” tmm four and a half teat high. “I am shocked I Do tell Tue why you wish that.” “Tobe frank, the 10215011 is just this :11' sofond of “ " I laughed, thinking it was intended as a bright speech; but her flushed face assured me that she was uttering her very heart. “ (£0 on,” I said, “ tell me your thoughts.” “My thoughts are just those; and I he- lieve they arc the thoughts of all unmarried, Inai'i'iageable women. I long for nothing this side of heaven so much as to bury all my 11n- cel'tainties and anxieties in the love of a hus‘ band. Eagerly would I make any sacrifice to secure his precious treasure. But I fear there is nothing left for me but to be sneered at as an old maid. So, while I might other- wise be grateful for what you choose to call my‘qucenly proportions, I can only wish I was one of the little women whom men fancy.” I will not repeat any more of this conver- sation, and my lady friend will excuse this, as it furnished a, text for my little sermon. Only she and I will know to whom it refers. I wonder if it is improper to speak plainly about that of which so many are thinking. I will venture alittle. My hair is of a color which might introduce me to you in the character of a father. I shall speak very plainly. It cannotcompromiseanyone, for as I told you, this is all private and confident/Tu]. YOU WANT nesnaxns. Don’t deny it; it is silly. It is like the earnest declaration of the mother who is ianaging her daughters through Saratoga, Tewport and an endless round of parties, but who constantly declares, in the most earnest way, that she has no more glrls than she wants, that she could not consent to lose one of them, and who, at length, whenpress- ed to part with dear Arabella, gives a re- luctant and painful assent, and who may be seen on the nodding day penetrated with in- consolable grief at parting)r with that dear child. Girls, don’t join in this farce. You want husbands You think of them by day and dream of them by night. You talk of little else. Think on and dream on. Even if you never get them it will make you bet» ter and nobler to think about them. On our side of the house we are all thinking and dreaming of you, and, although we may nevâ€" er marry, our hearts will he warmer and purer for having been filled with thoughtsof you. 1n entering upon this most important and delightful relation, we men are expected to take the overt initiative. You are perplex- ed and grieved that so many of us holdbzick, and wander about, homeless bachelors, all 0111' lives, leaving you to (lie old maids. Let me whisper in your ears. WP, arr ufmirl of you .’ As I {1111 out of the matrimonial market I will let my friend Robert, who is in said market, explain. Robert is a splendid fel~ low, and anxious to have a home of his own. He declared in my parlor the other evening that he would prefer ten years of happy mar- riage life to fifty years unmarried. Slywifc said; “ \Vell, Robert, if you czur not find a wife, you had better give a com- mission to some one who can.” \Vith a flushed face, he replied: “ See here, Mrs. Lewis; I ama bunker; my salary is two thousand dollars. 1 cannot marry a scrub. I must marry :1- wife of cul- ture and refinement. My mothcr and sis- ters, to say nothing of myself, would break their hearts if my choice were below their idea. Just tell me howâ€"with such a wife# I could pull through on two thousanda year? \Vhy, her dress alone would cost half of it. Board for two would cost a least fifty dollars a week, .and even with that, you know we should not have first-class board. And then come the extras,â€"the little trips, the lee- tures, the concerts, the opere, etc.; one can- not live in society without a. little of such things. “ Oh, no, unless I first make up my mind to rob the bank, I cannot think of matrimony. If I had five thousand a year I would ven- ture: but with two thotlsa11d,~~\vell, 1 am not quite a madman, and so I stay where I can pay my debts. My Indy friends think I am so much in love with the v C1111) that I have no time for them. One of them said to me the other day, when we were discussing the matter: “ ‘ \Vhy, what you spentin that miserable club would easily support a, wif "‘ “ ‘ It won’t pay for bonnets,’ ?1‘eplle(l." Now, ladies, Robert is extravagant. so we will let him retire, and I will go on with my little sermon. I do not often preach, but in this case, nothing but a sermon will do. BEAI‘TY or WOMAN’s nonr. Mrs-Hy. \ on are perfect idiots to go on in this way. Your bodies are the most beau- tiful of God’s creation. In the continental galleries I constantly saw groups of people gathered about the pictures of women. It was not passion; the gazers were quite as likely to be women as men. It was the won- drous beauty of woman’s body. Now stanll with me at my office window and see a. lady pass. There goes one I now isn’t she a pretty lookibey object? A big hump, three big lumps, a wilderness of crimps and trills, ahauling up of the dress here and there, an enormous, hideous mass of false hair or bark piled on the top of her head, and on the very top of that, a little A Short Sermon About Matrimony. \VHY MEN DO NOT PHOYO Ymm I)!» L“Wl§“’0ik, U'u' (iii-Is. 111611 nondeseript thing, ornamented with bits of lace, birds’ tails, etc.; while the shop win- dows tells us of tlie.pa<ldings, whalelmnes, and springs which occupy most of the space within that enter r'g. In the name of all the simple, sweet sentiments which cluster about a home, I would ask how a man is to full in love with such a compound, douhl )d and twisted, sturehed, comical, artiii ‘ touch me not, wiggling curiosity. Tnis bums (‘uurns rot? -. 3m\'i<;m:,\'r:<, Swami/y. \ 'ith that wasp \Villot, your lungs, stomach, liver and other organs squeezed down out of their place and into one-half their natural size, and with that long trail dragging on the ground, how can any man of sensefiwho knows that life is madeup of use, of service, of workiitake such a partner? He must he desperate to unite himself for life with such a deformed. fettered, half-breathing ornament. If I were in the matrimonial market, I might marry a woman that had but one arm, or one eye, or no eyes at all, if she suited me otherwise; but §o long as God permitted me to retain my senses, [could never join my fortunes with those of a woman with a small wok-f. My dear girls, if you would get husbands and sensible ones, you must dress in plain. neat, becoming garments, and tall; like senâ€" blc sisters. You say you don't care, you won't dress to please men, etc. Then, as I said in opening this sermon, 1 am not speak ing to you. 1 am speaking to such girls as want husbands and would like to know how to get them. You say that the most sensiâ€" ble men are crazy after those butterflies of fashion. I beg your pardon, itis not so. Oe- eusionally, even {L brilliant man may marry :1 silly, weak woman. But to say, as l hare heard a woman say a hundred times, that the most sensible men marry women without sense, is simply absurd. Nineteen times in twenty, sensible men choose sensible women. I grant you that in company men are very likely to gabble and toy with these over- dressed and forward creatures; but as to go- ing to the altar with them, they begto be ex- cused. A small waist I 1 am a physiologist, and. know what a small \‘aist means, it means the organs of the abdomen jammed down inâ€" to the pelvis; it means the organs of the chest stuffed up into the throat; it means a weak hack; it means a delicate, nervous in- 'alid; it means a suffering patient, and not a Vigorous helpmate. Thousands of men dare not venture, because they wisely fear that, instead of a helpinate, they will get an invalid to take care of. Besides this, bad health in you, just as in men, makes the mind, as well as the hody, weak and efl‘emin- ate. You have no power, no magnetism. I know you giggle freely, and use big words, such as “ splendid,” “ awful,” em; but this does not deceive us: we see through all that. The fact is, yet are superficial, affected and silly. You have none of that womanly strength and warmth which are so assuring and attractive to men. \Vhy, you have actually become so child- ish that you refuse to wear decent names, and insist upon little baby ones. Instead of Helen, Margaret and Elizabeth, you afi'ect Nellie, Maggie and Lizzie. \Vhen your bro< thers were babies, you called them Bobbie, Dickie and Johnnie; but when they grew up to manhood, they would have no more of that silly trash, if you please. 1 know a w0< man, twenty-five years old, and as big as both my grandmothers put together, who insists upon being called Kittie, when her real name is Catherine; and although her brain is big enough to conduct affairs of State, she does nothing but giggle, cover up her face with her fan, and exelaim, “ Don’t, now, you are real mean.” How can a sensi< hit: man propose a life partnership to such a silly goose ‘3 Third/y. Among,r the men in the matri- monial market, only a very small number are rich; and in America these very 'zu'ely make good husbands. But the number of those who are beginning life, who are filled with a noble ambition, who have a future is very large. These are worth having. But such will not, (lure not, ask you to join them while they see you so idle, silly and gor- geously attired. V Let them see that you are industrious, economical, with habits that secure health and strength, that your life is earnest and real, that you are Willing to begin at the be ginning of life with the man you marry, then marriage will become the rule, and not, as 110\ ' among certain elassesgithe exception. Ah, if ever the time shall come when you young women have occupations, and can sus- tain a. healthy, dignified attitude toward men,iif ever the time shall come when “'0‘ men are notsuch pitiful dependents, then mar- riage shall come universal, and we shall all be happier, better and noliler. My dear friend, have 1 said anything in this sermon, or do I say anything in this hook,which leads you to suppose that I think men better than women? It is because I believe that in the constitution of the race. you are the fountainâ€"head of social, moral and religious influence, that I come directly to you. My mother taught me long ago, the great moral superiority of woman. She taught me that most of the‘goorl and pure in this world comes from woman. “ That is all very well. No doubt your sermon, as you call it, contains a good deal of truth; but 110w about the young men who spend their time drinking, smoking, loafing about club-houses, and running after strange women? I suppose you think they are per- fect angels.” So far from thinking man is an angel, uml woman :1 nothing, and a. haul nothing, lhe strongest article in my religious ereetl is, that when woman has been redefined from the shilly-shally, lace, ribbon and feather life into which she had so unhappily drifted ifiwhen woman shall be restored to herself she will be strong enough to take us men in arms and carry us to heaVun. I hear s'ome plucky, spirited young wo man exclunn: I beg you will not unpposc that in my criticisms upon woman, I am prompted by the belief that she needs special exhortation on her own account. I appeal to her on ac» count of us all, believing that the most di- rect and effective way to redeem the race is to induce Woman to lay aside every weight and the special sins that beset her, and to run the race with the highest womanly her0< 13m. â€"~â€"«oo 4‘-»>”.â€"â€"- A MAN called out to his creditor: “Get out, you ornithorynchus.” The man depart- ed meekly. “VVho‘s that?" inquired a friend of the speaker. “An omithorynchus." “How’s that?” “\Vell, \Vebster defines him as ‘ a beast with a bill.’