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< Mgfy A Cabman's Good Reasons. The following story is told of a (listin- guisheml Edinburgh professor : Desiring to go to church one wet Sunday he hired a. cab. 0n reaching the church door, he tendered 2L shilling-“the legal fzn'ewto cabby, and was somewhat surprised to hear the cabinan say, “’l'wa shillin’, sir.” The professor, fixing his eye upon the extortioner, demandâ€" ed why he charged two shillings, upon which the cabman drny answered, “\Ve wish to discourage travelling 011 the Saw- lmth as much as possible, sir.” 4 So hm" trunks and her “hhw chis" were. "histh down,” and she returned home, happy to resume her old life rather than part with her cheristh soap grouse. But when the lmg’rnge was inspected it was found that Aunt M‘lissy was taking an undue allowance, for besides her trunks she had several, kegs, lmgs barrels, some eon- t-ziining ashes and othersfull 0f oltlbones and mmtvskius for soup grease. The officer had them all thrown out in the street, declining to transport such freight. This highly in- censed Aunt M‘lissy. She quit shouting “glory’7 and indignantly jumped out of the \vaggon and refused to go a. step toward freedom without her treasures. “ 31011 ’speek me to go Nerf an’ leave haaf my plunder ’hin’ ‘3 Hice me down (lat air hair- kivered trunk er mine an’ my blue chis’, an’ my (lowiurns, :Ln’ (lat yuther yaller trunk ; l'se gu'ine to stay here, I is I Ketch mo lcm'in’ dose tliggin's ’dout my little bags or hones an’ my little barril ashes, an’ my lit- tle kaigs er bacon-lines !” lt was to Nero that Tacitus applied the expression7 innrerlibi/iuni (-upii'or. \Vhat he not only desired but achieved in the way of cruelty and vice would be declared incredi- ble if iteman history had not already shown what revolting atrocities may be conceived by adiseasedimagination and executed by irresponsible power. After he burning of the city he gratified his taste, in entire dis~ regard of the proprietors, in rebuilding it. He at once appropriated a. number 01 the sites and a large portion of the public ground for his new 13312100. The perticoes, with tlfeir ranks of columns, weren mile long. The vestibule was large enough to contain that colossal statue of him, in silver and gold, 120 feet high, from which the Colosseum got its name. The interior was gilded through- out, and adorned with ivory and mother-of- pearl. The eeilinqsof the dining-rooms were formed ofmovablc tablets of ivory, which shed flowers and perfumes on the company ; the principal srli’on, had a dome which, turn- ing day and night, imitated the movements or the terrestrial bodies. \thn this palace was finished, be ex med : “ At last I am lodged like a mill], ' His diadeni was valuâ€" (nl at lmlf :2. million. llis dresses, which he never were twice, were stiff with embroid- ery and gold. lle iished with purple lines and heels of gold. He never traveled with less than a. thousand carriages. The mules were shod with silver, the nuileteers clothed with the finest wool, and the attendants wore bracelets and necklaces of gold. Five hundred she asses followed his wife l’oppzrii. in her progresses, to supply milk for her bath. He was fond of iiguringin the circus use. charioteer, and in the theatre as a singer and actor. He prided himself on being an artist, and when his possible deposition was hinted to him, he said that artists could ne- ver be in want. There was not a V] ,e to which he was not given, nor a. crime which he did not commit. Yet the world, exelziims Seutonius, endured this monster for 14 years, and he was popular with the multi- tude, who were dazzled by his magnificence and mistook his senseless profusion for lib- erality. 0n the anniversary of his death, during many years, they crowded to cover his tomb with flowers. Wfi,_4uoo4‘..>uâ€"â€"_.fi Soap Grease or Freedom. At one time during M10 civil war, when the Yankees made a mid into Onacliitzi l’ar- ish, La.., 11. good many negrocs went oil" with them. Among the number that started was an old woman living in Mom‘OJ. She seem- ed quite rejoiced at the idea (if being free ; she clapped her hands (Ulll shouted and (filled her friends to go with 1101'. “ Conic ‘lmig wid me, folkscs, l’nl givine to glory ! Uwino to glory in dis hero waggin! Come ‘long, all of you, nn’ g0 \Vlkl me to glory ! SOD]; other darkcy reminded Aunt M’lis- sy that she was losing 1), gIOI'ious oppor- tunity for gaining her freedom, but she muttered: “\Vhat use being free if you ain’t got no soap grease?" An Awful 01d Swellifiis Wonderiul Pal- ace 4113 Great Expenditures, 6:13., 8:13. A fast TEE MAGNIFICENCE 017‘ A NERO. Strm-k with verbomty, 'l‘ingod with pxmumsity And virtuogity Hts men bcuuilt‘d; This limp, lymphatiqu Strangely crmli ‘ul Sublimq‘v cosy: Beam! like a. child; Vevcr bumbusticul, Always fantastical, Hmhusiustiozfl,__ ()n it he smiled ; Friend of the lily pad, 'l‘liis Piccadilly lad “Hill a. new llind, \Vilh all the will he had Bravo! O.\Vildc! (‘10:11-withlucidity, Void of stupidity. Careless who (lid 11. hr; Folks by the horse-cur full Visit this ()scm', full 0f the world's dross careful, Not, if he knew it he Shllnncd incongruity, Could 110 but do it he \Vould draw it mild. He is u sLylish man. This fresh. young Irishman, A La“, ncz'vy, wirish 1mm, Such is 0. \Vilde. Sweet, undnfllcd. Though he‘s rhupsodical lie is methodical, Notivv prodigal n "rug, - 0. B. S'munms. Foe m meudaoity, Full of veracity, Charged with quuacity Anti‘porspicac‘itx‘ ‘ ‘qmoo 4 a.» ow 134' O. Wilde! Go if, 0. w 11m» 15 01360. “film: 1 Mr. 0. Wilda. Londm Quark-Hy w. «W» to ON seating yourself at the table draw oil your gloves and put them in your lap under your napkin. Do not put them ill the gravy, as it would spoil the gloves and cast a gloom over the gravy. If you have just cleaned your gloves with benzine, you must leave them out in the. front yaHl. STONES in cherries and other fruit should not be placed on the tablecloth, hut slid quietly and unostcnbatiously into thepocket of your neighbor, or noiselessly Lnssud under the table. IN" drinking wine, when you get to the bottom of your glass (10 not throw your head back and draw your breath like the exhaust 0f the bath-tub in order to get the last drop, as it; engenders IL feeling of the most depressing melancholy among the guests. IF you cannot accept an invitation to sup- per, do not write your regrets on the back of a. pool check with a blue lead pencil. This is not regzu‘nlerl us “ricochet.” A sim- ple note to your host informing; him that your \ 'asherwomun refuses to relent is suf- ficient. TABLE ETIQUETTE. Macaroni should be cut into two short pieces, and eaten with an even, graceful motionâ€" not absorbed by the yard. ORANGES are held on a fork while being peeled, and the facetious style of squirting the juice into the eye of your host is “an revoil'. ” II? by mistake you drink out of your 1 gCr-bowel, laugh heartin and make so I'ucctious remark, which will change 1 course ofcouversationand renuw tlw fricm fueling among the members of the party The revolver, according to aLondonpeper, is in all probability destined to lie shortly discarded from use in the army, navy, Irish constubulary, and other Government servi- ces in favor of a new weapon, the mitrail- leusc pistol, in which there are four barrels which are loaded at once by a. patent quad- ruple cartridge big enough touall'ord good hold to the fingers. Forty shots per nin- utes can be discharged, and the empty ear- tridges ejected automatically. As there is no opening through which any gas can es- cape, the weapon can be used gun fashion when (timing, and there are 110 screws, ham- mers, or projections to catch the clothing, reins, or accoutrcments. Above all, there is no fear of ajam or the weapon becoming un- serviceable from overheating. The pis- tol will take the ordinary Government car- tridge. Some insight into the treatment of Govern~ inent employees in Germany is furnished by the experience of a workman on one of the royal Prussian railways, who has just been petitioning for aid in his old age. The man served in the same position for thirty-four years at one mark (about 23 cents) a. (lay, and on this sum raised a family. Naturally, he lived fronihand to mouth, and was unable to lay anything by. icing now over eighty years of age, and unfit for longer service, he has been dismissed from his employment; and to his petition for some relief for his closing days, the only answer has been the allo wines: of the sum of thirty marks in lull and final settlement and the dismissal of his case. A petition is about to be presented to the French Chambers praying for the disman- tling:r of the well-known fortiticationszuround Paris. The petition does not epply to the outlaying forts, such as those which offered so obstinate a resistance at the period of the great siege, nor to any works which are of recent date and are more in accordance with military science in these days. It is strictly confined to the continuous enceinte, consist- ing of fosses and walls, which is stigmatized by the petitioners “an obstacle to the growth of the city, without any compensa- ting advantage in the event of a siege.” To such it pass have the famous fortifications of Louis Philippe been brought by the progress of modern systems of warfare. According to the report of the architect of the l‘alaee of Versailles, the basins of the fzunons fountains are now in so deplorable a condition of ruin that the periodicaldisplays must ere long, if some effort is not made, entirely cease. Many fine effects have for some time disappeared. Meanwhile has-re- liefs in marble of high artistic \‘alue are ly- ing seu‘tere l about the purl; overgrown with grass ; and allegorical subjects, some of which are masterpieces of the seulptor’s work, are in danger of complete destruc- tion. The last trip of the Cunard steamship Scrz‘ia to Liverpool is said to have been the fastest across the Atlantic yet accomplished. The apparent time of the passage is 7 days, 12 hours, 39 minutes, and the actual time of the passage from Sandy Hook, 7 days, 7 hours, 41 minutes. This is by several min- utes the shortest passage on record, not- withstanding that the Cunard route is by ninety miles longer than that taken by most of the other lines. 011 Several days the SN"- m'a had easterly winds. The snow-fall in Austria. has been so great that in many places the drifts reach the tele- graph wires. During some of the storms pas< sengers and drivers have been compelled to abandon stage coaches and seek safety as best they might by cutting their way to the nearegt houses, leaving baggage to be dug out later. By imperial permission, a bison hunt was recently organized in the neighborhood of Belostoek, in Russia, and two bisons were killed and forwarded to St. l’eterslmrg. There are considerable herds of these ani- mals in the wild forest districts known as \Vhite Russia, and lying between Belostock and Litovsk. One hand was thrust through the hole into a theatre office at Columbus, Ohio, and it held a cocked pistol. Another hand reached in and clutched a pile of money. The dumfounded treasurer made no outcry, and the audacious thief escaped with Eastern Tean has a. hundred mile strip covered with water, the railway tracks be- ing lassocd to trees on either side. A bl'xdge 0n the Texas and Pacific, near Dallas, was washed away. By the late riot in Warsaw, RUSSia, 10,000 people were financially ruined. Spain’s public debt is so large that she has no hopes of over paying it, unless the bri- yauds whack up more liberally than has been the case for the last few years. FACTS AND INCIDENTS. \9I44->> om of your fin- msze same change the tlw friendly A York Co. woman couldn’t scare a tramp by pointing an unloaded gun at him, but when she shouldered arms and brought the stock down on his head he walked off to the woods and died. Weak Lungs and how to make them Strong. Breathe with the mouth closed, have access at all times to pure air exercise moder- ately, cat nourishing but simple food, and take that best of all cough remedies, Hag- yard’s l’ectoral Balsam, it speedily cures all throat and lung troubles of adults or child- ren. Price 250. per bottle. 11 HALL’s VEGETABLE SICILIAN HAIR RE- xnwmt is a scientific combination of some of the most powerful restorative agents in the vegetable kingdom. It restores gray hair to its original color. It makes the scalp white and clean. It cures dandruff and humors, and falling out of the hair. it fur- nishes the nutritive principle by which the hair is nourished and supported. It makes the hair moist, soft and glossy, and is un- surpassed as a hair dressing. It is the most economical preparation ever offered to the public, as its effects remain a long time, making only an Occasional application necessary. It is recommended and used by eminent medical men, and officially endors- ed by the State Assayer of Massachusetts. The popularity of Hall’s Hair Renewer has increased with the test of many years, both in this country and in foreign lands, and it is now known and used in all the civilized countries of the world. When Doctors Disagree, who shall Decide? Nothing is more variable than the different opinions of medical men; but when they fail to agree, or to perform a. cure inzL chronic disease, the patients often decide for themselves, and take Burdock Blood Bitters, and speedin recover. It is the grand key to health that unlocks all the secretions, and liberates the slave from the captivity of disease. 1‘). them. Dr. R. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, N. Y.: Dmr Sirâ€"l have employed your “Pleasant Pui‘gativc Pellets” in my practice for the last four years. I now use no other alter- ativc or cathartic medicines in all chronic (lerangements of the stomach, liver, and bowels. I know of nothing that equals A girl was vaccinated between the shoul- ders in order to be odd, but she fooled her- self. For twenty-eight days 110 young fel» 10W could put his arm around her. How \Vomen would Vote. \Vere women allowed to vote, every one in the land who has used Dr. l’ierce’s “Favorite Prescription” would vote it to be an unfailing remedy for the diseases peculiar to her sex. By druggists. 7 Dr. l’icrce‘s “Golden Medical Discovei'y’ has become so thoroughly established in public favor that were it not for the forget- fulness of people it would not be necessary to call attention to its power to cure con- sumption, which is scrofula. of the lungs, and other blood diseases, as eruptions, blotches, pimples, ulcers, and "liver com- plaint. A woman gave 11. tramp some fish. He th aboue in his throat and died, and now a. brother wants $5500 to settle the case. He says the woman is responsible. What Physxcians Say. SAJV LEAA'DRO, C(l]., January I], “ llomun punch ” is so called because it is made of rum,501nething entirely unknown to the Romansâ€"{New Orleans Picayune. The same can he said of Roman noses. “ Don’t you think that Miss Brown is a very sweet girl?” asked Henry. “Oh, yes, very sweet,” replied Jane; “that is to say, she is well preserved.” In playing: whist this rule observe, 11' you’d not, he snrpussed~ "l‘is well to heave u sigh at first, But noLzLee high till lust. “ Father,” said an inquisitive boy, “what is meant by close relations ‘2” “ Close relaA tions, my son,” replied the father, “are re- lations who never give you a cent.” The boy said the old man, then, was the “ closest” relation he‘d got. There is a. story told of a, fine old Cornish squire who only drank brandy on two occa- sionsâ€"when he had goose for dinner and when he had not. Young Swell to Optician: “IS this the smallest opera glass you have?” Optician : “ Yes,” Y. S. : “\Vcll, then, I guess I’ll take an Operetta glass.” “011, why should the spirit of mortal be proud?” “‘0 don’t know, unless it isbecause he has got his ulster out of the pawnâ€" broker’s The optician’s clerk,who was struck along- side the head with a falling telescope, saw 2L side~ear-eal sight. One by one the men Lake courage, One by one they married get. Still the ladies sayvand truly, There are those “ who might t0"â€"yet. “ I’ve been heron had things about you," said one big bird to another. “ Let’s stark about something else, " was the response. A taste for music,when exhibited by young persons, is certainly commendable,but don’t start them OH with a drum. The good die young. The bad live to lie about the weather, and are spoken of as the oldest inhabitants. Cardinal Newman says that a gentleman is one who never inflicts pain; then no dentist can be a gentleman. Did Noah's hen lay over the deck ‘2â€" [New York News. No just beneath the hatchway. The farmer that “ran rapidly through his property” wore a red shirt, and had 1115 brindle bull behind him. Friction matches may be desczibed as those made without the consent of the old folks. The “fours of habit,”said the gambler, softly, as be dealt himself allthe aces in the pack. An old lady wants to know what is meant by “mean time.” Our watch keeps it. There’s vastly more taffy criticism than true art. Cheap men and accordions are noisy on all occasions. A sage hen~0ne who avoids the hawk. ALL SOBTS. morux J. A. MILLER, M. 1). I .97 JAMES Iii-AMT Importer 01' Choice as“ 28] “mac-st, Toronto. Market Lam These Teas are unquestionably the finest lot of Teas ever imported into Canada, and in or- der to give every one a. chance to secure :1 end- dy, our travellers will commence on their routes at once. One of them will call on every consumer throughoutthe Dominion. Ladies, be pre .u'ed; ask your husbands about it, and have your orâ€" ders ready. No poor Teas will be offered. Every caddy is warranted. “’0 have a reputation worth having, and don't propose to tarnish it by foist~ ing poor'l‘eus on the public. If you wlsh to avoid being swindlcd by penllurs, keep your orders for our travellers. This elegant preparation may be relied on to change the color of the heard from gray gr any othernndeslrable shade, to brown or black. at discretion. It is easily applied. being in one preparation, and quickly and effectually pro- duces u permanent color which will neitherrub nor wash 0le n :55, 5 strong. Dr. A. A. Hayes, State Assayer of Mnssachu' setts, says of it : “ I consider it [he bcsl prepar- ation for its intended purposes." Sold (III/flu Dru ' aml Dcnlm‘s in Jlt’tlim'no CHOICE NEW SEASW TEAS 1,000 Packages of Different Brands. It removes all eruptions, itching and dan_ drufl‘,mxd the scalp by its use becomes white and clean. As a dressing nothing fectual, or desirable. By its tonic properties it restores the capillary glands to their normal vigor, preventing baid' n 355, and making the hair grow thick and EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW. Supplies the blood with iti Vim! l'rincipln 01‘ Life [ileum-m. nun, infusing Strength, Vigor. and New Life inLu all pm‘tsof the sys- tem. This standard arLicle is compounded with the greatest care. Its effects are as wonderful and satisfactory as ever. It restores gray or faded hair to its youthful color. R. P. HA1. Buckingham’s Dye, FOR THE wmstns. Those going to Manitoba will find it to their advantage to correspond with me. Subscribe for the Colonist News, a. paper giving just, the information you require: Sample free. Pam- phletnanvith mams,scnt free. Holbrook‘sfirstpurty with ulcepingcars attached, will leave on Is! March, and continue every other week (luring,r the season, proceeded a few days before by their fast freight train. Please address with stamp for reply. D. A. IIIDLIHHDOK. forth-west Emigration and Real Estate Agent. 6L King-st east. Toronto. PERUVIAN SYRUP Our Descriptive Priced Catalogue. beauti- fully illustrated, containing all necessary infor- mation for the successful cultivutson of Vege- tables, Flowers, Field Roots, Potatoes, 8.20., is now published, and will be mailed FREE to all applicants. JOHN A. BRUCE & (70.. Seed Growers. Hamilton, Canada. SEEDS, RELIABLE SEEDS. MANITOBA! \ \ \ \BURR STONES. WATEROUS ENGINE WORKS CO. BRANTFORMANADA The Ladies’ Journal Cures Dyspepsia, Nervous Affec- tions, General Debility, Fever and Ague, Paralysis, Chronic Diarrhtea, Boils, Dropsy, Humors, Female Com- plaints, Liver Complaint, Remittent Fever, and all diseases originating in a bad State of the Blood, or accompanied by Debility or a. low State of the System. \ .l-L'L'flflov ’ mgiéEN'éINEWORKsEo E BU nnnnnnnn will be sent Monthly for 'I‘VI’ES-I TY-Fll‘l} CENTS Per Annnm ! It is an 8-page fashion aper. humori- fully illustrated. um contains all the latest fashion no‘ms from the best American and foreign publi- cations known. Address That 0111' Large Consignment of 33 8; 35AdelaideSt. West, Toronto. "1:6 (It‘ll) T0 IIANID. This Lot; Comprises Near] y FRANK WILSON z HALL 8: 00., NASH UA, N. H. MANUFACTURED BY SOMETHING N? .11 s ESTABLISI‘IMENT COMPLETEPURIABLE i: W 03m MILL. J u r ‘ 1882, lms Leon found so of- {Junta London. SL)1(11H_5)’I£[I‘S. qutpopular and D'n'fent cu mne Canada. SAW MILLS & GRIST MILLS FIRE PRUUF GHAMPION Is a3111‘c.1’1‘01npl and Erfcctual Remedy for Nm‘rousnms in A LL fls slams, Weak Illcmm‘ (. Lass of liq-air l’owcr, Frustration. 1W9 Sweats, IVm/cncss, and General Loss 0/ Power. Yt repairs Nervous IVastc. Reju venatcs {he Jaded Infdlcct. Strcnalhcns Enfl’cblmt Brain, and 1503107133 Surprisim, Tom: and Vigor to tch Exhausted Genera- tz‘v Organs. The oxpol‘ion e of thousands 5 it a}; [N '._\LU‘ABLE RF MACK’S MAGNETIC MEDICINE .4 p003 aAJaN ‘ I A :- L‘fl 2/ ' , \x 3 :3‘ \ , u m (BEFORE) TRADE MARK. (AFTER.) The medicine is pleasant, to the taste, and in no case and under no circumstances can it do harm. Each box contains sufficient for two week's medication. thus being much cheaper than any other medicine snld»~and while it, is the ch - yest, ignmqh boilerz 1L? Wu“ pm“ Iculm‘s in our1))1mnphlets,\v11ic11 we desire to mull free to any address. k‘. lugnelic Medicine is sold by Drugâ€" 1213 s (Ll 5( ( ts. pox-box, or 12 boxus for $5, or will be mailed free of postage, on receipt of mono); by addressin A shipment of S. and 3". Extra lh-lll Paper. (Gonninvtiust rot- ivod; :Llso (tense of Eagle. Ex» n-n lirilliunl ; w “ l'onso" Tint; complain assortment, of I”: one]: and American (‘ard and (Jahlnonl Mounl ‘ Owing: to the immcnst do- ‘mand for Swan's Plan-s. we have hitherto been unable to keep 111) with our orders, but art- promised an early shipment, which will enable us to till all demands. “'1: are also keeping on hand the Eastman Pluto. which will he found to be the best. American Plates in the murkeL. “"0 have a few copies of the British .Jnurnul Photo Almanac and Your Bunk (bound in om- volnmc) for the yew-18814 Rt-dnccd price :30 cts Photographic Mosaics, 1881, 380. LYON ck ALEXANDER. 1'28 Buy ‘ ., Tor-mm». MouldingsMirrors. Frames, Pictures. In “Pmn‘o (mom " ol‘evcry description. PHOTOGRAPch MOSAICS FOR 1882‘ Ontario Photo Stock House. If you contemplate doing what everybody is going to do or talks of doing, viz going West to buy a Cheap Farm~you can do so and it will not cost you more than 25 cents per acre if you follow our suggestion. Instead of taking out a. pocket full of money with the risk of losing it. before you get there. take with you a stock of our Celebrated $8.50 Single Barrel Breech Load- ing llmnmcrless Needle Shot Gun, you can more than pay your expenses. Improved Cli- max Breech Loading $6.50; Zulu $4.50; Breech Loading Rifles $8.00 & $10.00: Genuine Twist Double Muzzle $12.00; Genuine Twist Double Breech nnElegantGunfifmand up to $175. Send 6 cents for our {iii-page illustrated catalogue con» taining over 600 illustrations of Fire Arms. V‘Vu’rehes, Silver-“fire, Jewellery, &e. Will send to any express oliiee for examination when charges are guaranteed. CHARLES STARK. 52 Church Street, Opposite St. James Cathedral, Toronto. 331? \Vhen you come to the city give us a call we will Show you more Fire Arms than can be seen in all Toronto-lIzuniltonand London (zom- bmod. MANITOBA LANDS BIL/003N588, D YSPEPSM, INDIGEST/ON, J/i (IND/OE. El? YSIPELAS‘, SAL r RHEUM, HEARTBURN, HEADACHE, SALT HHEUM, THE STOaCi‘ACI'l, HEARTBURN, DRYNESS HEADACHE, OF THE wan, And every species of disease arising from disordered LIVERy K!DNEYS, STOMACH, BOWELS yr. BLOOD, T. MILBURN & (50., m pleasant to take. Contain their own Purgative. Is n safe, sure, and effectual destroyer of worms in Children or Adults FARM ENGINES Our Specialties. WATEROUS WORM POVJDERS: 25 cents an Acre WILL CURE OR RELIEVE PORTABLE BRANTFORD. J: ELM; £113.14 93 600 JLH'K‘S )[EDH‘INE (70.. Windsor. out (‘amadu D/ZZ/NESS, DROPS Y, FLUTTERING OF THE HEART} ACID/TY 0F Proprietors, TORONT O.