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y’ When Widows are most Dangerous. The second year is that in which the widow is really happy. The sombre depths of her mourning cast aside, she enters the world again and reopens her jewel case. Even with a very becoming widow’s cap on life is more or less a blank to a. woman if she cannot wear her jewels, Now, 11 ow- ever, the diamonds, pearls and Opals may reappear, and with what new delight are they now worn? Visions of dresses in delicate half tints, pearl grays, soft laven- ders, mixtures of white and gray or black and white float before her mind, soon to be realized. Her year’s absence from balls and parties and crowded rooms has renew- ed her beauty and the same retirement has brightened her eyes and tinted her cheeks with the freshness of enjoyment with which 5120 prepares to re-enter the world. Now, indeed, is the fashionable widow a dangerous and seductive creature. She knows that she is prettier than ever, and the consciousness making her more certain ot coming victories gives a. genuine soft- ness to her inarner. Beware of widows in their second year! Always dangerous, they are then more so than ever. Light- hearted as a girl, she feels younger every day, and from her own point of view there is no more enviable being to be found in the world than a young, handsome, rich and lively widow, whose heart is not in- conveniently soft, nor her feelings too acute to prevent her going through life “ well pleaaed andeareless,” and extracting from 1t as much of the pleasure and as itfle of the pain as may fall to the share of any mortal creature. The Tapering Waist. 1f the truth could be ascertained by statistics, it would be found that the corset has destroyed more females than the bullet and bayonet have destroyed males. The human epualected butcher, calle l a hero by historians, can congratulate himself up- on being a lesser destroyer, although there is no glory in being surpassed by the in- ventor of the corset. The noble, cones shaped chamber in which the functions of life are chiefly carried on by the heart, lungs, veins, valves, and muscles, is not a hair’s breadth too large. Fashion disregards the necessities of this citadel of life, and by lacing, the lower ribs are compressed until they meet and often overlap, and the senti- nels of life are cooped up in a- fortress where they can have no freedom of action. In young girls the ribs, particularly at the joints and hinges, are soft, and their great- er part gristlé, which is still softer, and the process of deforming the chest cavity is easy. The cone being reversed and nature defied, the silly victim of fashion goe forth into society with a taper waist, bus her body is a hospital of disease. She unfit to be married, because unfit to be a mother. It is a costly experiment to wed such a fragile and deformed creature. The doctor and druggist will accompany her through life. and the undertaker come after a. long, lingering struggle for continued vitality. If she has children they are likely to suffer mentally and physically for her folly, for in common Txith the organs of the chest cavity, the whole of the lower organs, held in place by the peritoneal sac, are pressed downward and inward, and incessantly antler from incomplete function- al action by tight lacing. Ready Retorts. The number of witty replies,‘ready retorts, and " good things ” generally attributed to Swift, r‘oote, Sydney Smith, Sheridan, and other departed celebrities, would doubtless considerably astonish those gentlemen, were they to return to life. Happy thoughts are not confined to acknowledged wits, however. Most of us have sometimes had occasion to say : “ What a. good repartce such and such an answer would have been, had we only thought of it in time.” But there is the rub. It is not given to every one, perhaps for- tunately tor the general peace, to be as ready at retort, for example, as the critic to whom the following question was addressed by an artist : “ Don’t you think it is about time I exhibited something?" ‘ ‘ Yes ; a little talent, for instance,” was the reply.â€"To a. grocer who had retired from business, a Ireiend said : “ My dear fellow, you are look- ing thin ; idleness does not agree with you.” “ \Vell, no,” instantly replied thegrocer : “ I don’t weigh so much as I did.” u 1 1 “As you live!” exclaimea the country- man; “then live more moderately, my friend.” A tailor and his son were doing a day’s work at a farmhouse. The prudent house- wife, to secure a good day‘s work, lighted candles when daylight began to fade. The tailor looked at his son and said: "Jock, confound them that invented working by candlelight!” “Ay,” replied young snip, “ or daylight either i”â€"â€"“ You have no idea. of the hard work there is in this business,” said a. canvasser to a shopkeeper. “ I tell you it is either talking or walking from morning till night.” “Beg pardon,” replied the victim. “ I have a pretty distinct idea of the talking part of your programme. Now, please favour me with an exhibition of the walking part.” A sarcastic question may sometimes do duty for the severest of replies. “ I never consider a dinner perfect without soup,” said one man to another; “ I always have soup when I dine.” “And do you ever have any- thing else 2” returned the other. â€"A pnnning retort is also at times very effective. “I had no time to stuff the chicken,” apologised a. landlady. “ Never mind, madam ; it’s tough enough as it is,” quickly replied the boarderrâ€"Another landlady, who tried to be smart, was as effectually silenced. “ I think the goose has the advantage of you.” she remarked to an expert boarder who was carving. “Guess it has, mum, in age,” was the ready retort. The Boston Post finds that the word “slugger” has a decent etymology. It comes from the German word “schulch, ’ signify- ing “to pound,” “to beat,” “to maul." It is a singular fact, however,that few “Sluggers” come from Germany. Another tradesman, a Quaker, who sold hats, was asked by a rustic the price of one. “ Fifteen shillings," was the reply. The in- tending purchaser offered twelve shillings. V V “ Asnlllive,” said the Quaker, “ I czfimot afford to give_ .it thee at that price.” A My son, you ask who 01‘ what a uoboCy is. \Vel], my dear young man, a nobody [S a prominent woman’s husband. TOPICS FOR WOMEN. The adventures of the Orontes, since she left Portsmouth with omarines some three weeks since, are remarkable. On arrival at Gibraltar she transferred her cargo to the Tamar, and then followed the latter vessel to Malta. 011 reaching there she was sent to Cyprus to embark troops for Alexandria, but; on arrival she found none to embark. Finally, to the g‘eat disap- pointment of the hazd-wowked garxiS'n of Alexixxdx'iu, she leached t1 ere last week empty. and tie 15;; 0115 of Suez, into which the waters of the Cmal empty, the waters aze shallow, and the bed is composed of mud and other refuse of the Red Sea ; hence the haibour is builc some (3,500 feet into the Red Sea, so as to keep the depth ( f ‘26 fee‘, which the canal has. A London engraver has issued a c‘ntoon repu eseming M r. Gladstone disguising him- self as Lord Beaconsfield in order t » terrify Arabi Pasha. and the European Powezs. He has aheady placed a primrose in his buhon-hole and a curl cu his forehead, and is shown in the act of pasting a. goaiee to his chin. Under his arm he carries a rifled cannon, while in the background we placed a reserve soldier and a Sepoy. There is a. section of Illinois called Egyp‘. The other day an Arkansaw man, whose son lives in that connnuni.y, w‘ote as follows to the young man :â€"â€"“ Come out of tlmtplm‘e. If they desire to have a fight there, let em’ fight. Old Seymour, be- cause he was beaten for the p esidency, wants to take his spite out of the people of yourdistric‘. Next thing you know 01d Tilden will fire on somebody. Come away from there before you get your blamed head shot off.” The mse of hoisting a flag (f truce to give time for evacuation is not without pre- cedent, says a. London paper in commenting upon Arabi’s deceptive trick. The same ruse has often been played in war, and Napoleon I. won a. bittle by it during the Italim campaign of 1796, which first made him known as a great general. His army was in a position which almost certainly would have been fatal to it. He sent a flag of truce to the Austrian general, and during the negotiations, which he never intended to succeed, drew his forces out of their perilous position. Arabi f-mcies him- self aNapoleon, and is very likely to copy the tricks of that famous soldier. 0n dit that the nomination of H. R. H. {he Duke of Connaught to command the brigade of Guards has not been well re- ceived, says the London World. It has been an old established rule that this brigade going (:1 foreign service, should he commanded by the senior officer of the three regiments ; and in this instance he is one who saw service with his regiment 1n the Crimea, and was badly wounded. The London World asks :â€"\Vhere, oh whexe, is the boasted improvement in all militavy arrangements, the good effect of which was to be seen on the first emergency? Our army ought to have been in the field 11 __-_. lcng ago: anrfthen the matter would soon have been ended. The mistakes of the C imean \Var have been constantly appeal. ed to in suggesting frcs‘i rules ; and it appea‘s that; they a, elikely to be rope {ted over again with very disastrous consequences. A troopship sent from Malta. to Alexandria without any troops, a battalion of Madness landed without any ammunition, &c. If you are the person at whom a young man points an unloaded gun in order to see you shiver, break his nose by a straight blow. That won’t cripple him nor revent his going to Parliament, and he wil never look intoa glass Without thinking whata fool he used to be. If you want to know What Russia needs, what England should do, or how the Uni- ted States should be run, get a. horse and buggy and drive out to the first country store. The men on the steps can tell you all about it. Owing to the war and gene a1 disturbance it is believed that half of the wheat and the bulk of the cotton crop of Egypt will be a. loss. The Egyptians have the newest patterns of English guns in their forts. English military authoritieS require abouttwo yea~s to decide whether they will accept a gun of new pattern. VVhenfore inventors offer their guns to other nation, who accept them. A curious coincidence is noted by a foreign journal. It was on the lth July, 1881, that the French fleet succesefully bombarded Sfax, a. town which was then given over to the flames. It was on' the 16th of July, just one year later, that the English fleet bombarded Alexandria, which has also been burned. The only conference which the Sultan never delays nor begs for more time onis when he meets the female selected for his last wife. H ; was never known to postpone a marriage. A lazy man near Fort Smith, Ark, abam doned a. well after digging four feet. The man who bbught the farm dug down an- other foot and struck a vein of coal worth thousands of dollars. A Key West shark, captured the other day, had among the contents of its stomach a half~dollar with a. hole in it. The shark is supposed to have taken it at forty-five cents. “ Is the Turkish Civil Servic sy em,” asked a traveller in the Orient of a travell- er, “ is the Turkish Civil Service like ours. Are there retiring allowances and pensions, for instance ‘2" “ My illustrious friend, and joy of my liver,” replied the pasha, “ Allah is great, and the pub. fune. who stands in need of aretiring allowance when his term of office expires is an ass ! I have spoken.’ France used 30,000 barrels of cider in making wines last ynar, but a French bottle of cider with a cobweb twisted around it will always catch the American winelbib- ber. The saw-dust that this country threw away for seventy-five years is now valued at $12,000,000 per annum, outside of what is used to make mattresses for hotel beds. A New YOrk critic says that Mrs. Lang- try’s form is perfect. That means a bustle, hip pads, patent skirt, tight shoes, stuffed culvea, shoulder pufl's and small corset. EGYPTIAN NOTES. Living in luxurious exile Ismail Pasha has now leisure to meditate on the present state of affairs in Egypt brought about by his stupendous sins‘ Like all exiles he is said to indulge the vain hope of some day returning to his country, by virtue of the powers, by command of the Sultan, or by some special inteifosition of Providence. He believes he will again reign at Cairo over the country his extravagance has brought to absolute ruin. The ex-Kheclive’s ideal was France, or rather Paris, under the second impire ; Napoleon III. was his model sovereign. The great improvements affected by Huass. man in Paris, the Khedive longed to imitate on the banks of the Nile ; he was enthusi- astic about everything French, but, as is frequently the case with imitators, he suc- ceeded in copying the defects only. For the solid virtues of the French charactrr, which lay beneath the surface, and gave the nation the strength and elustricity to bear the strain of one of the most terrible crises through which any people ever passed, he had little admiration and less sympathy. While he was dreaming of founding a throne and extending an empire, the Sultan refused to see in him anything but a vassal. It is true this vassal had more money than all the other Turkish \‘aSsals together, and so the Padishah was fain to grant conces- sions which replenished his ever empty coli'ers. Now that everything has come to light, it has transpired that $140,000 wandered to Stamboul in this manner, ex- clusive, be it remembered, of the annual tribute of $3,000,000. Ismail, it is true might have easily avoided such enormous payments. but his restless vanity, which he mistook for ambition, urged his recklessly 0n the path of extravagance : he thought it nece:sary to extend the bonds of his territo- ry, to increase the strength of his armies, to secure the inheritance of the viceroyalty in his family, at last to secure himself al- most sovereign rights by the firman of 1873, all concessions which cost millions. The world was astounded. Here was at last something new under the sunarcpre- sentativc govermne ,t in the East, a l’arlia-l ment in the land of Pharaohs. Venal journalists announced the unprecedented event to Europe, and all the papers printed the speech from the throne. Then came the building mania, preceded by demo~ lition on a gigantic scale, in the insane endeavor to convert Cairo into an Oriental Paris. In the centre of Ismailia a little “Bois de Boulogue,“ which certain- ly cost more than its prototype in Paris was laid out with artificial lakes and cascades, and rockeries, and kiosks, and pavilions, and a Chinese pagoda wherein musicians played French and Italian airs, particularly the inspiring strains of Offen- bach. Opposite the park was the opera house, which cost the Khedive $500,000 a year, not counting viceregal doceurs to the singers and dancers. Mlle. Schneider, who wasa great favorite at court, is said to have received over $50,000 in a single season. For the benefit of the pashas and ladies of the Harem who did not understand French, a translation of “ La Belle Helene” into Arabic was printed at the govern- ment offices at Bulac. Then there was a hippodrome and a. French theatre, the directors of whichâ€"one of them a runaway hair-dresser, although a nephew of the celebrated physicist, Theuardâ€"all duly be- came along with the Khedive, cooks and grooms, knights and beys, and even pashas. Mewson the scale of the imperialstables on the Quai d’Orsay were projected, and remain like many others, half built to this dayin Cairo, a monument of fallen great- came the state ness. From Paris, too, carriages, of which the Khedive had twenty. The finest, which attracted all eyes at the Paris Exhibition of 1867, cost over $22,000. On one occasion, when there was a double wedding in the family, and allthese coaches were turned out with their freight of lovely women bearing the dowry of princesses on their necks and -arms, driving through the crowds of the half naked, hungry populace, the festivi‘ ties lasted fora week, and the bill for candies alone amounted to $55,000. But all these items are mere trifles compared to the gigantic extravagances of Ismail’s building operations. l’alaces were run up like suburban dwelling houses. In Alex- andria they were numbered like ordinary housesâ€"palace number two, palace number three, etc. llamleh, the principal palace, wasa smalltown in itself. But even the magnificence of Alexandria. was overshadow ed by the gorgeous structures of Cairo. The palace of Gezireh ll like a residence in- fairyland. ’I‘he Empress Eugenie, accustom- ed to the pomp of Paris and the festivities of Compiegne and St. Cloud, wrote from there in 1869 that the luxury and splendor of her surroundings surpassed {all she had ever seen or dreamt of, and that her abode seemed to her like a chapter of the “ A1 abian Nights.” Of such palaces Ismail built twelveâ€"half a. dozen for himself, for, as he had four wives each must of necessity have a separate harem, then more palaces for his sons and married daughters, and so on. But even these boundless extravaganees pale before the ex-Khedive’s last under- taking, which he was compelled to leave unfinished. At Gizeh, between the Nile and the Lybian Desert, he seemed deter- mined to erect buildings which should dwarf the neighboring pyramids. A plot of ground fully one French square mile in extent was to be walled round with six- teen feet of solid masonry ; the waters of the Nile were to be inducted, and water works on a colossal scale erected. Four palaces of large dimensions even than those of Rumleh and Gezireh were projected to adorn the inclosure'. Some years ago a traveler looking through the railings gazed on what seemed to him a half finished palace. He was informed by the engineer that what he was regarding with astonish- ment was only the engine house for the water works. This is a brief indication of some of the ways in which the Khedixe managed to spend the best part of $1,000,- 000,000. A shark was recently caught on the coast- of Southern California, and upon being cut open thirty-one little sharks were found. Old residents say they have seen nothing like it since the last commencement of the law School. A Canada farmer who was called upon for a speech fainted away. Khedlve Ismau's Faults. A not unimportant element in the consider- ation of the Egyptian question is the value of the Arab as fighting material. Of the ccurage of the wretchas who beat out the brains of so many Europeans caught by sur- prise and unarmed in the late Alexandria riots, one may judge by an incident which took place in the course of them. On the great square of Alexandria some two hun- dren 01 these patriotic protesters against the rule of the loreigner were engaged in hunting Europeans,when four attendants of the tribunal rushed out of their sanctuary with drawn swords, and the whole two hun- dred took to precipitate flight, leaving the square empty of all but the dead and wounded, and the four messengersoijustice. \Vithout some firm assurance of the support of mustafiz or nizam, it is quite certain that none of the rabble would ever have dared to raise a hand against a foreigner. Akourbash is quite enough for the courage of the Egyptian on any ordinary occasion. As a soldier the bloody regime oi Mehomet Ali has given him a prestige which, like the “ scent of the roses,” lingers long after the organization is shattered. It is true that that once Egyptian soldiers defeated Turkish; but the latter were in a much lower state of discipline than now, while the former were ruled with a vigor of which the following incident, related by a veteran who remembered Mehemet Ali,will give an example : A milk-woman came to the Pasha one day complaining that one of his soldiers had robbed her of the milk she was bringing to the camp. The soldier was identified, and denied having taken the milk. “ What did he do with it ?” asked the Pasha. “ Drank it,” was the reply. At asign the man’s head was off his body, and hls stomach, being opened, was found full of milk. “ 10,” said the Pasha. to the horrified milk-woman, paying her the value of her milk ; “ but if he had not taken it, your head would have paid for it." ‘I,, Needless to say, the Draeonian rule has long passed away, and the Egyptian soldier of to-day is perhaps the most cowardly and degraded regular in existence. In the late Russo-Turkish war they could not be brought to face fire, and. were kept in reserve for depot duty. In the Cretan in- surrection of 1866, the Viceroy‘s guard was sent to the island to aid in the subjugation of the Christians, but on the first encounter 4,000 of them, attacked in an intrenched position by about 1,500 ill-armed Cretans, were driven into their intrenchments, their access to the water sources was cut off, and they surrendered unconditionally after the defeat of another division, which marched to their relief, the total being 8,000 men, with artillery, and considered the best troops in the Egyptian army. In a sub- sequent affair, under Mehemet Kiritly Pasha, when the Egyptians were to cover the retreat of the main army, they broke and fled precipitately at the first attack of the insurgents, and squads of them, lost in the complicated by-ways and broken ground of the pass of Krapi, threw down their arms, and were butchered without resistance by the Cretans. At the assault of the Convent of Arkadi, the only use the Egyptians couldbe put to was to be put in front with the baynets of the Turkish regulars behind them, and no alternative of safety. They were in thisiy'aLdriven into the breach, covering the Tux-E51537 'tlieiii‘hfi‘fiifi. ’Tlii's' was the testimony of one of the Italian officers in command of them, and nothing was more common than for the Cretans to send an Egyptian prisoneraway contemp- tuously, saying that it was like butchering sheep to kill the Egyptians. They are capable only of the simplest evolutions, and their officers know little more of the science of war than the privates. The Mystery of Memory. Coleridge dared to maintain that we do not_'really forget; that thoughts and events only seem to be lost from recollection ;and that if the intellect were quickened a. little the whole past existence would be brought to View again. In illustration, he gives at length the story of the ignorant servant girl who repeated Whole psalms in the original Hebrew when deranged of which she could not recall a word in her sane moments. She seems to have learned them from an ec- centric minister’s repeating them aloud as he paced the kitchen floor. DeQuincey tells a little better than many others of a drown- ingfriend reviving his whole experience which is that of nearly all men, showing;t that the past still lives. Many of our German immi- grants seemto lose their native tongue, but in the weakness of the last hour nothing is more common than its return, with other throng- ing recollections of childhood. -n... . ,- ‘1’ i‘he famous William Tennent, of New Jersey, seemed, at his return to life after two day‘s death, not even to recognize the Bible his sister was reading. By and by his brother was repeating a passags from a Latin reader, when it burst like a lightning flash upon the strengthening consciousness of Tennent that these were old, familiar terms, and all his forgetfulness soon dis- aPPEaF' . n..v. 1 1 IV ‘Niebuhr, the Oriental traveler, when old feeble and blind, saw hardly anything, hour after hour, but the magnificent scenes of the East pictured on his memory. The cloudless blue of the eastern heaven, bend. ing so motherly over the vast deserts be- neath, shone more vividly than when he had wandered. in those scorching rays. Abercombie tells us of a four years’ old 1303', who, after being trepanned for a. blow on his skull, lost all recollections of the injury. But, ten years after delirium brought back every incident of his suffering, and he detailed it all from the beginning. When \Valter Scott’s memory seemed to have gone, he was yet able to recall the \Vatts’ poems and the Scripture lessons of his infancy. These facts are full of suggest- ions;1 espesially to clergyman. Montreal claims to have laid out more money in public improvements and to have less to show for it than any other city in the land. Lord Salisbury said the object of his amendments was to provide against injury to landlords who had solvent tenants. He believed the bill a public blunder, and that 11; would not be a final measure. “ If it were customary in this country to confer titles upon indlviduals of rank in. literature,” asked a sh. llaw but conceited journalist of an old one, -“ What would I be ‘2” “Barren of ideas, son,” was the re- sponse.” The Egyptian as a. Soldier. Byron said: “Caprice is in woman the antidote to beauty.” When the skipper halloos through his trumpet he becomes a hoarse marine, What I have been taught I have forgot ten ; what I know I have guessed. SOD. The polka spot, like sin, mars almost everything on earth. When does a man have to keep his word ? When no one will fake it. When a man’s views are grounded in com- mon sense, what on earth is the use of argu- ment? Look upon the faces of the dwellers by the seaside if you would see some fine water col- or painting. ’Tis better to have bet and lost, if it in- duces one not to bet again. We are gradually learning who Arabi’s “ backers” have been all along. Not only is the “whereabouts” of some men a puzzle, but also then whyabouts and whatabuuts. Never insult; a milkman by asking him what watering place he is going to this sum- mer. “ Slow but shoe’r,” was the advice that a. blacksmith gave to his apprentice. An undertaker may know nothing of the science of pugilism, but he can lay out a fel- low beautifully. ‘ It is the fathei' of twins who knows what it is to be up all night with the boys. Butter was not so firm last week as it has been. Still those who had lots of it on hand had a soft thing. Large trout sometimes swim in sma‘d streams, but the average lie remains the same. It is rumored in diplomatic circles that; Arabi has telegraphed to Utah for a brand new Khedive and harem. St. Louis boasts of a man who has not laughed in twenty years. He is probably an interlocutor in a “first-class” minstrel troupg. “ How do you identify him ?” asked the morgue-keeper; “ what are the marks?’ The dead man’s friend looked up, astonished that his ability should be questioned, and said : “‘Vhy, he was deaf.” A German professor claims to be able to tell a man’s character by feeling of his nose. It is possible to tell some men’s characterw or absence of characterâ€"by merely glancing at their nose. “\Vhat a nice-looking young man !” simp~ ex‘ed a lady to her friend, as a. youth in the omnibus deposited her nickle in the safety- box. “ Yes,” was the reply, “ I see he is passing fare.” A piece of whalebone fifty inches long, ten inches wide and seven inches thick, has been dug up on the line of the Canadian Pacific Railroad. It is supposed to have be- longed to the corset or an antediiuvmn belle. ""“I L‘xec‘mre I” exclaimed Mrs. Tidinice, “ I never saw a gal like our Sary Jane. I worked eenamost‘. two hull days on her new bathin’ dress, and don’t you think, she got it wringin’ wet the fust time she put it on 1” There was recently oflferered at Messrs Christie, Mason & \Vood’s, at the same time as the plate belonging to the late Lord Chief Baron was sold, a quantity of silver plate, of which the history is some- what curious. The plate in question is described in the Catalogue issued by the auctioneers as “formerly the property of Mary Ann, formerly Countess of Ports- mouth,” and, in fact, the bulk of it is im- pressed with the Portsmouth arms. The Countess of Portsmouth, whose maiden nam was Miss Ha“ on, was one of the Court beatieszin the reign of George IV., with whom it is said she was an especial favorite ; and, on her marriage to the third Earl, his Royal Highness presonted Her Ladyship with several silver dinner-plates bearing the Royal arms, which are included in the sale. At the Wedding, in 1822, Mr. Alder, of Hornclil’fe, Northumberland, the estate now belonging to Mr. H. E. H. Jerningham, M. 1’. was groomsman, along with Lord Byron, the latter of whom also presented other of the articles comprised in the catalogue. Five years after the marriage the Countess was divorced, and subsequently became the wife of _ Mr. Alder, who, becomingr embarrassed in his affairs, was obliged to make an assignment for the benefit of hiscreditors. This assign- ment embraced the plate referred to ; but, according to the terms of the deed, it was not to be realized unless the remainder of the property assigned was insufficient to pay the creditors. The plate not being requir- ed for the purposeof the trust, the trustees under the assignment deposited it in a bank in Berwick, where it has lain for the last fifty years; but recently proceedings were instituted on behalf of the only son of Mr. and Mrs. Alder, new afarmer in the state of Michigan, with the result that the plate was ordered to be given up by the bankers in whose custody it had remained so long. The quondam Countess and her second husband, after the collapse of the latter, fell very low in the social scale; so reâ€" duced, indeed, did they become that a single room in the fishing village of Spittal, at the mouth of the Tweed, lied to suffice for the habitation of this lady, once the wife of an Earl, and her husband, the associate of Byron. On the death of Mr. Alder, thirty years ago, the Countess, with her son, the only issue of the marriage, left this country for Canada and ultimately settled in the town of Chatham in that colony, where she lived in obscurity until the time of her death in May, 1870. .The worst sweater in Cairo. 111., is a woman. Bevng a woman is enough to make anybody swearlng mad. Bob Burdette says that Mrs. Langtry can’t pass herself off for a Jersey lily when she comes over here unless she smells of apple-jack, and we are afraid if slxe even smells of applejack she will want to drink some of it. Ananias was doubtless a bass fisher. A melting storyâ€"N0 ice for butter. Saving the froth is a great mor-ale les- A Romance of the Peerage. SNICKERS.