A furniture manufacturer, of Kingston, named Adams has skipped out, owing about $1,000. . Re". J. \V. A. Stewart, of Hamilton, Las accepted the Professorship of Max's/[aster College. A young man named John Allan, of Lon- don, Was engaged in chopping wood, when a, splinter flew up and struck him in the eye, destroying the eyesight. The clergy in the French churches at Montreal denounce the opera. boufl‘e per or- mama. Nearly all the opium dens in New York were closed recently in consequence of the war being waged on them. Two girls aged 15 and 18, and a. Chinaman caught smoking were arrested. NEWS IN A N UTSHELL Summnry of Foreign. Domestic and War Itemsâ€"Concise. l’ltlly7 nml Pointed. DOMESTIC. The late Mr. Edward Mackay, cf Mon- treal, left $78,000 to charities. The aphis is doing a great deal of damage to the buds on apple trees in the vicinity of Belleville. ' A man name'l Kirby attempted suicide at Thornhill by hanging while under the in- fluence of drink. A tornado of terrible violence has passed over the Lansing, Mich., district, commit.- ting great damage to property. The Orangemen of Woodstock are prepar- ing for a grand demonstration on July 12th. Barnum carried oï¬' twenty Cmghnawaga Indians from Montreal vicinity for his war dances. The N. B. Government offer $200 for the apprehension of Elisha. S. Steeves, who shot and killed Constable Dryden at Elgin. At Woodstock a. lad named Daniel Mc- Intyre had his leg split from the toe nearly up to the hip by a. bolt-saw in Clark’s factory, and died in ï¬fteen minutes. A young Detroit girl named Malvina. Pomirville, who was brought to Montreal from that place and seduced some time ago, was found by her brother in an infamous house. At Bushville, 111., Rev. S. A. Cecil, a. pastor of the Methodist church, has been convicted of misappropriating the funds of the church. Tank No. 7 exploded with a. terriï¬c re port during the New Jersey oil work ï¬re. The chief ofï¬cer and a number of men within ten yards of the tank were saved almost by a. miracle. Upwards of four hundred members of the British Association have expressed their in- tention of attending the meeting at Mon- treal. Two patients in the St. Louis City Hospi- tal have died from the efl'ects of a dose of chloral given by a physician in mistake. The interest in reported Fenian designs on Halifax, which was abating somewhat, has been revived by the conspicuous move- ments of an unknown steamer. Antoine Bergeron, a Montreal trader, smashed in the door of he house with an axe to murder his wife, who escaped out of the rear entrance. He was arrested. The total loss of life by the Grappler ï¬re is seventy-ï¬ve. The Governor of New York has signed the bill to encourage the planting of shade trees along public highways. It is stated that a. member of the last Legislature of Dakota. was offered ten thous- and dollars if he would vote for the bill to re locate the capital. Miss Cyra Wyse, a. rising young Qutbec cantatrice, has gone to Boston to Xulï¬ll an engagement as leading soprano of the Signor Farin Opera. Co. Three Mexican Generals who neglected to participate in the national holiday have been placed under arrest. Five thousand dollars worth of gambling apparatus was burned in a public square at IqashviUe the other day by order of th court. . ’l‘wb feet of snow have fallen in portions of the north of England. The Steubenville, 0., Presbytery has suspended Rev. W. W. McLane for heresy. In the Pennsylvania Senate Mr. Nel- son attacked President Arthur for counten- ancing the drinking of liquors in the White House. Cardinal Mchst ’s door-bell was rung furiously recently, and the servant found a male infant about; two months old lying on the step: The steamer Phoenecian, which arrived at Boston brought 8'21 evicted tenants from Glasgow, Galway, Blacksop, and London- derry. The Malagasy envoys are greatly pleased with their reception at Berlin. Canon Farrwc has been appointed to the Archdeaconry of Westminster. Count de St. Valiere has been designated French Ambassador to Austria. A convention relative to the Austro-Turk- ish system has been signed. Advices from Hayti lead to the belief that the insurgents are not gaining rapid headway. Mathe, the autonomist, has been elect- ed President of the Municipal Council of Paris. The German Reichstag has ordered an en- quiry into the cause of the Rhine floods. The North German Gazette, alluding to the debates in the Reichstag, accuses the Pro- gressiszs of Republicanism. Mr. Parnell will speak at; Dublin during the “’hitsuntide recess against the umigra- tion policy of the Government. A meeting of the influential British ship-owners has appointed a. committee to carry out the scheme for the construction of a. second canal across the Isthmus of Suez. Mr. Fawcett, father of the British Post- mastcrAGeneral. and the accidental author FIVE MINUTES’ SELECT READING. UNITED STATES. GEE of his blindness, has just celebrated his ninetieth birthday. Mr. Trevelyan, M, P., the Irish Secretary, baa accepted the nomination of the Edin- burgh UuiversityLiberal Association as can. didate for the Lord Bectorship. Bismarck is becoming daily mo e ema- ciated. His physicians have informed him that the worst may happen if he does not abandon all State work for the present. Nobody throughout the city of Mos- cow except ofï¬cers of the Government will be allowed to open any window or nude on horseback during the coronation pro- cession. m‘~_.....-_»5 Ofle a A Mortgage Paying Clock. A gentleman Writes to the New York Tribune as follows : The notice of the death of Jeremiah Curtiss reminds me of a pleasant acquaintance with that gentleman, and the story of a. clock, as related by him at his house tweniy years ago, more or less. He called my attention ;to a clock standing at the entrance to the drawing-room at the head of the ï¬rst flight of ztairs. It was an old-fashioned affair, with its.case standing some six feet high. Mr. Curtiss’ story ran thus : ~ ' The clock man reported the clock a v'alu- able one, saying that it was of German manu- facture, and that it was good for another 150 years. Then Mr. and Mrs. Curtiss cm- sulted together, questioning among them- selves if they had not paid too small a. sum for the c‘iock, considefing its reported value. “ That money came striightvfro‘m Heaven ; for a demand had just been made for a pay- ment on the mortgage on our place, and we had not the money to meet it, and we had given up in despair that‘our home must go. Just then your money came, which has en- abled us to make a payment, and our home is sawed.†Touched by the pathetic story above re- lated they wrote to ascertain how much the mortgage was upon the place. In reply it appeared that the original mortgage was for $1,000, which was now reduced by the $150 just paid. Another consultation followed. in which the value of the clock was consider- ed and the satisfaction it was affording them, and the result of the conference was that the old farm in Maine should be cleared of its mortgage, and thereupon a sum was remitted for the purpose. In the previous summer he had been tra- velling in the State of Maine with his wife, whowas a native of that State. She expressed a wish to visit the home of her childhood, which had now passed into the‘possession of strangers. Thither they went, and upon entering the house she discovered that the old family clock was standing in its place as she had known it in her childhood days. She expressed a wish that we might purchase it, if the owners could be induced to sell. A proposition was therefore made for the pur- chase of the old clock, which was ï¬nally ac- cepted, and the price of $50 was paid. The clock was packed and sent to Brooklyn, and taken to a shop for complete renovation and regain In order to quiet theft" conseiences in the matter they resolved to send the people of whom they had purchased the clock another sum cf money, and accordingly $150 was sent. By return mail a. letter came from the mother of the family, acknowledging the receipt of the money, and thanking Mr. and Mrs. Curtiss most heartily, saying : Shakespeare‘s "Macbeth" Taken from the Bible. You will ï¬nd the principal characters of “ Macbeth †in the Book of Kings. Jezebel in the Bible is “ Lady Macbeth" in the play. She'it was that stirred up her husband to do all the deviltry he did. Then take Hazael, a servant to the King. Under the influence of his wife, Jezebel, he plots to kill his master, and become King of Syria in his stead. This plot is successiul, and Hazael is crowned King. This character exactly suits that of “Macbeth." The minor characters can also be found in the Bible. Of course, Shakespeare has altered the words, but the plot and characters are to be found there. Dr. Halsey, in his lectures on Shakespeare at Princeton College, stated that Shakespeare’s regular practice was to study the Bible seven hours a. day. There were not so many Bibles in his time as there are now, but although very costly†he had one, and made a daily practice of studying it. Where Dr. Halsey got his in- formation I do not know, but presume he is correct. Though Shakéspeare was undoubtedly a great man, I think he is considerably over- rated. so far as his originality in concerned. I think he was not endowed with the genius of originality, but rather with the genius of arranging .the Writings of those gone before, and re-writing them in an attractive style. â€"Rev. Richard Lee, D. D. A vi vid impression of the sudden fury of the Southern cyclone is conveyed by this brief statement of Mr. B. E. Jones, of Beauregard, Miss., who, the moment he saw the danger coming, called his wife and little boy into the yard and made them lie flat on the ground and grasp some little shrubs which stood within reach: "I put my arm about my wife,†says Mr.Jones, “while with the other I clasped a small tree, and made my son lie close up to me, and then'I said to them, “Hold on, hold on, for God’s sake! It is for life!’ and then the wind came. There was a whirl and a roar. I was shaken, and heard the crash of my falling house. An instant and it was over. I still held my Wife in my arms, but she was insen- sxble, and my boy was still nestling close to me, but bruised and bleeding.†All three escaped without serious injury, thanks to Mr. Jones presence of mind and the prompt obedience of his wife and child. Prepare yourselves for the world as the Grecian athletes used to do for their exercises; oil your mind and your man- ners to give them the necessary supple- ness and flexibility. Strength alone will notdo. ' He who makes a baseless. insinuation against :1 neighbor‘s integrity or honor is guilty of an injustice which is atrocious and monstrous in comparison with the petty deprcdation of the despicable thief who breaks into his house and surreptitiously carries away his goods. A Tornado’s Force. Chinatown is often mentioned in the New York papers. Anyone who knows where Chatham Square is, could ï¬nd Chinatown quite easily. There isn’t much of it, though, when it is found; just one end of a shabby street, Mott by name. Some of the house are tenements, with dark halls, rickety doors and windows and a. perpetual bad smell. Others were once private houses, with high stoops and a. moderately good ap- pearance, but now almost as shabby as the tenements. Neirly every house has a sign in Chinese characters, and all the dingy stores have stripes of yellow or red paper in the windows inscribed in the same way. Many of the door posts bear similar, em- bellishments, each and every one of which is the most utterly incom rehensible Greek to all white barbarians. 0 into Chinatown any time you please, and you will ï¬nd Celestials on guard at almost every door- way. They seem to be merely lounging about, and to have no particular interest in anything, but they are watching sharply all the time. The gambling places, opium dens and lottery shops are never without pickets, who eye all passers very keenly and answer questions without any waste of words. “No sabe,†is the in variable reply to barbarians straying around with conundrums. “As tight as a clam" and “dumb as an oyster,†are old phrases for feticence,but ‘ ‘as close a; aChina- man†would ï¬t quite as well. A Chinaman can tell a reporter by instinct, and is closer than 'ever when a member of that worthy brotherhood drifts around after notes. He needs to be an especially energetic reporter who pinetrates the picket lines of a Chinese gambling den or lottery shop. The barbar- ians can get into an opium “ joint†without much trouble, but the other places are for Celestials- alone. No one else could under- stand the games that are played, or what the queer combinations mean. It is said that both the games and the lotteries are all square, but only the Chinese themselves know whether they are or not. They are carried on in dark foul places, as far from the street as possible, and only those who know just how, to proceed can get in at all. The stores in Chinatown do not invite the barbarian’s trade. No goods are kept but those which Chinamen buy. Very few lux- uries are found in any ; but the Celestial is not a luxurious animal. Opium doesn’t cost much, and the indulgence in it is the height of his extravagance. The idea of luxury does not exactly harmonize with the hard fact of existence on ï¬fteen cents a day. As to ~ The Chinese Colony In New York City. THE NUMBER. or CHINESE In New York, it is not easy to get at the actual ï¬gures. Those in Chinatown could probably be counted, or a. fair guess made, anyway; but they don’t all live in China- town, by any means. That place is merely their headquarters. The number scattered through other parts of the city, chiefly with a view to laundry proï¬ts, is larger, 1 think, than cOuld be counted in Chinatown itself. All the way from the Battery to Harlem, the whole eight and a half miles of Gotham’s length, these unassimilating Mongolians are to be found. A few years ago, when there was an outcry about a Chinese invasion, it was said the number in New York was not less than 3,000. When the census men of 1880 came around, however, they ï¬guredZup less than 1,000. They probably got as near the mark as the guessers, anyway. But there has been a. considerable increase since 1880, and I suppose the present number might be put at 2,000 for New York City. Counting in those in Brooklyn and the Jersey suburbs, the total may not be far from 3,000. All are workers at one thing or another. There are no loafers among them, and no dead- beats, so far as heard from. The Chinaman’s cardinal principle is to earn his living, which shows a vast abysm of difference between him and some proud Caucasians. But then, if he can live on ï¬fteen cents a day, the earning should not be very hard. There are very iew, however, who don’t pick up at least two dollars a day one way or another, and some contrive to make from three to ï¬ve dollars. There is a notion, I believe, that a great many Chinese in New York are em- ployed as servants. I have read picturesque accounts of Fifth avenue ladies invading Chinatown in their handsome family car- riages in search of likely young Chinamen for the domestic stuff. But the number of Chi- nese employed in this way is really quite smallâ€"not more, I am pretty sure, than a couple of score all told. I do not know a single family that employs a Chinese servant. Where such servants are employed, the pay is about the same that good white servants receive. The stories about Chinese getting twice the Wages of white servants are all nonsense. As a rule, where males are em- ployed for household Work, colored men are preferred. These are paid from $18 to $25 a month, with board. 1 do not think that any Chinamen get more, and I hear that a. good many female servants in private families get as much. It certainly is not as servants that the Chinese interfere with the white labour in New York, and for that matter their interference with it ‘3 very little any way. ' ,WAR Ix onIxATOWN. At present there is much excitement in i New York Chinatown over a sort of " boss†I question. The Sun‘s Chinese reporter, Ah \Vong. has made an ambitious attempt to write it up in English, with an amusing re- sult as to grammar. But this English gram- mer of ours can trip up lots at folks besides the heathen. The Tom Lee already men- tioned has carried things with a. high hand in many ways. Though no longer a deputy sheriff, he still assumes airs of authority. He has played boss so long that the thought of giving it up now goes very much against the grain With him. Besides playing deputy sheriï¬â€˜, he has exercised the functions of “head man†in the Mott street colony for some years. Now a. large faction down there wants to depose him, and another fae. tion objects. Ah \Vong says “ there is danger that the unpleasantness Will not only be the means of the eventual breaking up of several leading Chinese business houses, and a whole serious of expensive law-suits but even the shedding of heathen blood is hinted at.†The two factions are.loeally known as the Sin Ning and Sung Chong men on one side and the Ha Sin Ning men on the other. 'l‘om Lee is a. He. Sm Ning man, and the other heathen wants him to step down and out. They have been holding meetings in Oong W ah’s grocery, with a View tobounciuy Tom, and it certainly looks very much as if Tom would soon ï¬nd things made pretty \va-Jm for him. But it is to be hoped that the row will he settled without any shed- THE CHINESE PAPER. The Chinese paper that was started a couple of months ago is doing pretty well. It had a strike in the oï¬'ice the other day, but the editor, Wong'Chin Foo, managed to overcome it. His staff, consisting of a single Celestial skilled in the art of printing Chinese characters on paper in such a Way that plates for printing could be prepared from them, struck for an advance of wages from $12 to $15 a. week. W'ong Chin Foo refused and the staff retired, with s View to starting a laundry. \Vong Chin Foo hunted around for another staff and ï¬nally found one willing to set up tea-chest and ï¬re-cracker literature for the $12 a week despised by his predecessor. So the Chi. nese-A mem'can sails in smooth water again. It does not promise to make \Vonq Chin Foo a millionaire, but it gives him a living any- way, and it may do better by and by. The newsboys sometimesroï¬'er it for sale as a curiosity, but I have not yet seen any bar- barian invest in it. â€"â€"â€"‘OO“‘V>OQ’â€"â€"â€"â€"â€" Etiquette of the Gallows. Anecdotes of scaffold etiquette ale quaint fragments of lore Worth repeating. It seems that there was a regular code for settlement of all questions of precedence, or for the regular conduct of the “business†when a question arose. Thus when different de- grees of nobility met a common fate beneath the executioner’s axe, a duke was ï¬rst decapitated, then an earl, and after him a. baron. As an instance of this, when the Earl of Kilmarnock oï¬'ered the priority (.f death to hisfellow-sufferer, Baron Balmerino, the Sheriff interfered and would not permit the Earl to be executed in any other than his proper order. The right of pre'erence was something claimed by the c indemned themselves, as when once a sweep and a. highwayman were being conveyed to Tyburn Tree in the same cart. As they went up Holborn Hill, the highwayman haughtily exclaimed to the chimney sweep, “Stand off, fellow!†to which the knight of the brush replied: “Stand off yourself, Mr. Highwaymen; I have as good a right to be here as you have!†There are not wanting other rules and forms to be observed. When Capel was about to address the spectators of his death with his hat on, the executioner commanded him to take it off before he addressed the peopleâ€"Gibl at Lore, by William Andrews, RR H S. ding of heathen blood by heathen hands. The civilized hoodlum can do enough of that; _.__.‘»4‘.0>oeâ€"-â€"â€"â€"â€" A Crown for Sale. London is the mart of the world. You may buy anything here, from a wife or a. white slave, to a. castle, a. palace, or a. pedi- gree. It is not often, however, that a crown is in the market. Such is the case, in all sober seriousness, to-day. There is an island somewhere totheeastofSardinia ,.tobebought all except the port, which 15 the property of King Humbert. The rest is en vents, the price being £30, 000, and the purchaser will be permitted, if it suits his caprice, to assume the name, style, and title of King, such being the designation of the vendor, who prefers hard case to barren acres and barren honor, like a. wise old Roman. Here is a. ï¬ne chance for Mr. Shoddy, Mr. Brum- megem, and those numerous plutocrats who will back any political party that will cov- enant to give them a. Beronetcy in return for hard cash and their votes. A King is surely a. cut above a. Baronet, and, among other advantages, he could make all his progeny Princes and Princesses, and he might recoup himself by selling titles ad libitum. â€"From the London Truth. HMO>Wâ€"â€"â€"â€"â€"â€" A Canine Witness. At Bow Street Police Court, London, a ï¬ne Newfoundland dog appeared lately in the witness box, his fore paws resting on the witness box edge, While he gazed intelligently around. His evidence was interpreted to the Court by his master, a Mr. Lyford. It was to the effect that the dog had run down the steps of the Thames embankment to en- joy a splash when he observed a Woman struggling in the water. His ï¬rst impulse was to plunge in after her, but a moment’s reflection told him that there would be great difï¬culty in landing her with out assistance. He therefore hurried back to his master, looked up into his face, gave two short barks, and ran down the steps again. When he saw his master following he jumpedinto the river, and dragged the woman to the em. bankment. Meanwhile Mr. Lyford had walked into the water up to his knees, and was able to reach the woman with his cane, and to assist in pulling her to the shore. The Microphone. \lr.St1<,h during a. discussion at the last meeting of the Society of Telegraph Engin- eers, described a. highly ingenious experi- ment with the microphone. =’~f1om which he deduced that “during the time when the carbons are really in what is called micro- phonic contact, they are not in contact at all, or, at all events, that there is arepellant action at the point of contact. In the ex- perimental apparatus one small rod of carbon ' was attached at one end of an almost f1ic- tionless oscillating rod, having on its oppo- site side an extremely light concave reflect- or. The other end of this carbon rorl fell across another carbon rod, which was ï¬xed. The displacement of a. spot of light reflected by the minor showed the t the upper carbon was 1epclled th1ongh the to 0 thousandth 1 part of a 111illi111etc1‘.â€",S'cienliflc Américmz. A gentleman of this town having recently made a. trip through Webster county, lien- tucky, tells us of a man he met who has never taken a, drink of water, though now 35 years of ago. His name is Thomas Lawton, and he is a kinsman of W. C. Carnahau, of this place and Mr. Carnahan vouches for the truth of the statement that he never drank water. Mr. Lawton says that he has no desire what- ever for the purest beverage known to cre- ation; neither has he any inclination to par- take of it in any of the adulterated forms. He has had raging fevers and shaking chills, but nothing in his composition calls for a. drink. He drinks milk. for its nourishing virtues and coffee as a preventive for paint- er’s cholic, for he is a painter by trade. He once drank some mineral water, taking, it as a. tonic, but the fluid was so repugnant to his taste that he did not remain long at the springs.â€"â€"Oriltenden-(Ky.)f‘ress. ' ’ A Man who Never Drinks Waxer. J upiter. having created the mosquito, the flea and all the vile orders of the entozoa and the epizoa, paused for a. moment in per- plexigy. " “wa, what In thunder shall I make for them to prey upon? ’ he asked himself mus- ingly. Suddenly a. bright thought struck him. He made man. “ And so,†says the narrator, e‘losing his story, “they took him up to the cemetery in a. goid-mounted heaase, with four black horses and all the bands in the garrison play- ing the ‘Dead March I’ †7‘ Very grand. I dessay,†remarks the listener, “but I don’t care for style. Go- ing to the cemetery on foot is good enough for me i†Guibollard has read in a journal scientiï¬c that we were coming to construct at the Estranger a. telescope reapproaching the moon at thirty two leagues of our globe. “Tn". :..........1--A._m u . .,. _. -V___- .v nvw uvv VA uul EAuuc. "w‘q‘he impliuéénts l†he cries himself with terror; “they will so much do that they will make her fall upon we !†V w- _ J v .- n... J vul wife f†“Because life with her had become un- bearable.†“ You should have separated from her. " “I had promised that 1 would never de- sert her while she lived.†Dialogue between, a 'young clerk and his employer : "Did you wish to spszk to me, young man ‘3" “Yes, sir, if you please, sir. You see, air, at present I am doing precisely the same work that X. does. and I get thirty francs a. month less pay. I feel sure that when you come to consider thi_s _you_ willf’f u n..:;. .1 _.L L «V. ..... JV“ V'AAIâ€" “Quite right, my young friend, and I thank you for calling my attention to the irregularity. . It shall he rcadj usted. I will dock X. thirty francs l†A young woman calls u pou her shoemaker, the most fashionable artist in the city, and complains that her new boots burst on the very ï¬rst day that she wore them. ,__V.. “â€"4 "u... unAv u ULW uuulu. “It cannot be, madame,†says the artist ï¬rmly but respectfully. “It is simply im- possible thatâ€"3’ “ But, look here i†says the customer, producing a package containing the boot. The artist examines it carefully and with perplexity. A; last; his. face lights up. ur..-, A «“4059.»â€" Barnum’s Elephants Bathing. \Vhen Barnum’s elephants were bathing in the Missouri River at Omaha. two yous ago, Pilotâ€"the ugly one just killedâ€"and Albert refused to come out of the water with the others. They were in fact, heading for the opposite shore when a keeper named Artingi stall plunged in and swam out to them, carrying his “prod†in his mouth. One blow from Pilot’s trunk or foot would have sent him into eternity. He swam to the further side with one hand and with the other prodded away‘nt Pilot. Recognizing his voice and catching sight of the fork, they turned toward the shore. Finding that he could not keep up with them, Artingstall made a spurt, and seizing Pilot‘s tail, mounted him, pretty nearly worn out. Pilot’s sides were wet and‘smooth as glass. With one foot on his back, the other on his head, he reached shore, followed by Albert, amongst the shouts and nhcers oi circus men and spectators. The herd, which had been waiting for them, stamped- ed and rushed up the bluff where the com- pany were sitting. The most daring riders, intrepid trapezists, acrobats, side-show talk- ers, and canvas men tumbled to the sands twentyï¬ve feet below. Then the herd, satisï¬ed with the sensation they had pro- duced, trotted quietly to the tent. A remarkable instance of sustained mus- cular effort is given in the Medical Press as having occurred in an Australian mine. The drift from one shaft having unexpectedly broken into another, a rapidinundation took place, so that in a. few minutes the lower levels were flooded and the water stood ,thirty feet in the shaft. Twenty-seven men in one part of the workings were unable 10 ascend the shaft, being caught in a, drilt where the water soon rose so high that only by clinging to the timbers could they keep their chins above it. One by one during the terrible sixty hours that elapsed before help came did the men drop of? exhausted ; but five of them succeeded in holding on during the Whole of that time, and were brought out alive. The bodies of the other twenty- two were found scattered about on the floor of the drift.- Great indeed are the strength and tenacity inspired by desperation, when they could enable ï¬ve men to hang on by their hands with their bodies immersed in water for sixty hours. L' ,,L, ""'J _â€"v .“uy A‘Aa Awuu LAEIALE up. “I see how it was !†he cries, triumrh- antly; “ you have been out; walking with them on !â€â€"New York World. LE (“U/EN 0F HUMOR. The original dude was Goliah. He is the ï¬rst man on record who had a bang on his forehead. When a. certain bachelor was married, members of the Bachelor Club broke him up by sending him, as a. wedding present, a cspy of “Paradise Lost.†“No, father isn’t; a, drone, either,†said a. bright lad ; " he’s aphilanthropist, and col- lects money for the heathen in Africa, to pay for our house and things.†An old colored preacher in Atalanta, Gm, was lecturing a. youth of his fold about the sin of dancmg, when the latter protested thalt the Bible plainly said 2 “ There is a. time to dance.†“ Yes, dzu‘ am a time to dance,†said the dark divine, “au’ it‘s when a boy gits a. whippin’ for goin' to a ball.†Proverbial philosophy : Abstinence makes the heart grow fender. All swell that ends swellâ€"as regards shoes. One swallow does not make a bummer. Distance lends en- chantmcnt to a few. Let me make the bal- lets of an opera, and I care not who writes its scbrea. \Voman is not so fair as she’s painted, Catch your hair before you shave “Prisoner, why did you kill your Tn 9†THE IMPORTED KIND. Sixty Hours in the Water.