Every one who has lived long in the south of Europe knows how amusing and innocent anecdotes of the confessional abound there. anecdotes which reflect neither upon priest nor penitent, yet which have the peculiarly piquant. flavorâ€"inherent in a joke which touches thoughnever so lightlyâ€"upon forbidden subjects. n“. L“ ms Stories of the Confessional "5-": â€"- ~ .. One of these was told to the writer by an earnest, active priest, unspnring of himself and of others. Padreâ€"is from the north of Italy, and quite unused to the unspeak- able and unconquerable laziness of the Roman peasant. It happened therefore, that on the occasion of the ï¬rst confession it fell to his lot to hear after his appoint- ment to the church of San , in Rome, he was astonished to ï¬nd that it behooved him to do the penitent's work as well as his own, and that he had to question and sug- gest and question again until fairly wearied out. S), being u conscientious man. he called the peasant back after he had givc in him absolution, and said, "You must come better prepared next time. You must see that to-day it was I who made the confes- lian, and not you. You had evidently made no examination of conscience ; and so I warn you the next time you come I shillask you nothing until you yourself have begun your confession. It is your duty to think over all you have done and left undone, and to make your own examination of consci- ence ; then I can aid you with questions ; but it is not right or for your good that 1 should do it all." The pennant sulked and shuï¬led, but made no reply to this har- angue. However, it was not very longs be- fore he came again, and Padre â€", who is nothing if not thorough, placed his watch before him, and allowed himself twenty minutes to wait for the confession to begin. The mirmtehand crept round to ï¬ve min- utes,â€"ten,â€"ï¬ften,â€"sevcnteen,â€"when the penitent said, in an injured and irritated tone. “Ebbene in non mi dice niente .9" (“Well, have you got nothing at all to say ’3 me In) Quite difl‘erent was good and gentle Father O’Bâ€"â€"’s method of procedure. He was never in Rome, and lived and died in the great republic. Hxs penltenta used to say of him that if they confessed any sin he was wont; to say hastily, in a distressed tone of voice, “There. mee chyald, there I I know ye didn't mane to do it. Pass on to the next pmt'rn -.....~.....v ,. __.. I "'Oh, yes, but I did intend ‘to do it. I lid it knowingly,_1':‘at_h§r O‘B_â€"-." “0h, mee chyeld, I hope not. I hope ye didn’t,â€"for that would be. decaytful, ye know. and unkind. I think ye didn’t mane to do it. Pass on to the next p‘nt mee ohyeld." Even a better story is told of Father Mr: B , 3 Dominican monk, and agood, energetic, but absent-minded man. It fell to his lot to return to Ireland alter an ab sauce of many years, and to hear ccnfes- sions on saint‘s day in the chapel of a. small village in the neighborhood of Cork. Save eral of the villagers had already confessed and Were kneeling quietly in church, wait- ing fr: mass to begin, when the door of the adjoining chapel (where Father McB lewd confessions) burst in, and the good father rushed in, his habit flying behind him, exclaiming in aloud voice, “Every one who has confessed to me this morning and that ‘flayed the shingle over the roof’ last ' ht must come back to me directly 1" hen the morning services were over, some one ventured to inquire, “What was the matter with Father McB , “Faix,†said Barney O‘Brien, the village ne'er-do-well, with a twinkling eye. “faix, I’m just thinkin' it’s meaelf then, I’d made me confession like the rest of yez ; and as to what I said, that’s neither here or there. but I’m williu’ to tell yez all that I wound it up wid sayin' that I’d flayed the shingle over the rootâ€"V‘Wnat's that! says Father McBâ€", with a start that had like to make ucuâ€", run a a...†u...- m... u.“ .. ._..._- him fly out of theconfessional.â€"‘\\'ell, thin, yer riverence,’ says I, ‘it just manea that I got roarin' drunk night before last.’ And thin. 'Wait a bit,’ says he, and flies into the church an if,the divel hxmself was behind. it’s a. -â€" onaisy pinznce he’s put on me," continued Barney, with a. rneful counte- nunce ; “and 1 can only hope the tint of yez has got the 1ike,â€"for yez know we flayed the shingle together, boys." 1 -n x,,,n A--. Spanish literature abounds with droll ccn- fessional stories. The best, probably, is that of a gypsy, who. coming to confess, andï¬nding the priest’s gold watch audchain lying in a room adjoining the contessional, coolly pucketed it, and began his confession with, “Father, I once stole a. watch and "Very well, my son,†replied the priest ; “than you must restore it to its owner.†“Do 011 Want it 2" answered the gypsy. "I? o, certainly not,†said the priest. “But, father,†continued the gypsy, “l ofered the watch and chain to their owner, and he refused to accept them.†“And you confessed the theft to the owner 2" persisted the priest. "Oh, yes, father.†“And still he refused to accept the watch and chain ‘2†"Yes, rather, he refused absolutely," "Then, my son, you may keep them with a clear conscience. Go in peace." The Provingal storiis afe rather more ir- reverent. The most amusing! and famous is called “The Turtle-Dove’s Nest,†and is a} iollows : "Poor AIari de Gigouudaa, who is some- thing of a. simpleton, went to confession. When he had ï¬nished, the pliest said as usual, ‘Now, my son, collect your thoughts and reflect whether you have confessed everything! u u, u you ber ae prjst ‘ Come know ; ‘ Well, ‘ everyt} I‘k Momieur my son. courag do not fearâ€"’ Momieur l6 cur tu ieurlecure, if Im I have found a ,1 of young doves ure, 9f don't remem- cur [e cur orchard ( tell everything ;t, stole some re 4119 nest tc I must tell a. nurtle- interupted that olive it is nut piece: ; no I“ when poor Altri came to see his ire-auto, :- he did dnily, doves and nest were 0. “on . . . . , 7----.. nk rnv Wuu 5w". “ 'but who!†than my nest? Oh, my poor nelt I Who in lyolled my nest ?’ cried the rimploton. ‘Oh, usrod nuns of heaven! it can only in" but llmiwr La cure !’ ,7: L-.. In u" u..-, -_.- -_,__ “When Christ-u osmo round, however, Alari wont spin to mfeuion, and again the priest: "id, ‘Now. my non, collect your thought! and tall all you In." done.’ “ ' Mon part, I In." been making loveâ€"â€"' “ ‘With a View to gutting married? inter- ‘ ruptod tho prl‘t. “ ‘Eh. you, Alan 3; wlnt also should 1 make love for? Siri- 3 good girl, and a. pretty. Aniâ€"’ “ ‘And of thin v11]ng 1' “But hora Alui’l ptï¬ienoo fuller]. 'Ah. (again of a cure, do you think that I will tell you who Ild when III. in' he cried. ‘Last Emu-r I coufuud to you that I knew whore a turtlo-dove'a neat wu, nd you rob- bed my last Ild kill“ ly doves. If you should kill my hot-1’†Of 3 differs-Q color in the following story, also Proveugd : ; .msu - lv'vu:â€"- . “Bury on. in Chroquan 3nd the Baron- dinemolt lovod tho good Abbe Ra Joni, and rejoiced At the light of his all ï¬gure. wrm xoutau, And Mg m, n he cums walking Afloag with rat Itlidoa, hnving a friendly word and uni afar every ono,bonbonafor the childrsl, nd randy lympsthy in jay 0r sor- row for 3‘! whoehi-od it. A: theflresido he “ m gay 3nd Ii-plo "a child ; before the al- tur, solemn ind lotion u an archangel. He waastno print duBoI Dies, Inc]: as a re only made by “Geri-g ad conquut of earthiy ,, AÂ¥ 1 L- an“-.. ant! affectio-OI prnygr. kvilvul- . "Good and patient no he won. however. there won a fnnlt for whieh the Abbe found no pardon. Ho heted gossip as he hated the dovnl. old when in tho oouee of o confes- sion e penitont hopponed toreveel the faults of soother, the pntod window of the confes- sional hon wonld nin- Ihnrpiy, nmi the Abbe wonld soy oternly, 'Yon hnvo discharg- ed your own lend. Loovo your neighbors to disehnrgo theirI.’ “Now, it hepponod thnt one day when he had eonfooled o greet nanny ponitents, a cer- tain Miee Troo-letelio. o rieh bourgeoise of Caren-eon“, presented herself end began a confession whieh woo ondlou. and which denitâ€"ss we: the good lr-iy's wontâ€"with the poom‘iillooo of n11 the errondissemeut. Bong went the grating of the oonfeesinnal, with the onutonlnl'y oxordinn. Mine Tres- Estelio, very on and hn-ilinted, resolv- ed to lenve the Ab Rodoni from that time forth, and therefore prooonten herself at the cunfeuionoin of several other churches in Coreueonno with o tale of her wrongs. Everywhere, however, the [toting of the confessionnl woo Ihnt inhor hoe, so that litfr e tine she returned to her own parish. The good Abbe hou‘l her confusion and gave her sheeintion in e quiet matter-of. can no wey, no if nothing hed happened. This nortiflei hol' pride extro-ely, and, meeting hi- the next dey in front of the oath drel, eho aid peeioneiy. ‘I hope, Father Rndoni, yon were not oï¬ended that I went to Another oonfoeeor t' “ ‘Not ot nil, .y child :not nt n11.’ “ ‘Bnt why, Mon pore!“ “'Eh, my child, if yon hnd n neighbor who wee in tho hnbit of otrowing nahos in front of you door. and it phased her sud- denly to ohmgo and ntrow them in front of your neighbor's door. would you be off: nd- ed? Neither n- ! ofl'ended that you chose nnother oonfaoeor.‘ †Onoo n oi-pieton. who hnd hoon in the idiot-uyln- nee: Arlee. wee engaged as a. servant by a ohnritlhie My. It pleased her one dey to go to confession, and the priest, to when oho woe e. stranger, began with the inqniry, “Axe yon unid, wife, or widow 1" " Nani, nnnwerel poor Cntherine. “ Are yon untried? ’ “ Nani." “ Unnorriod. then Y†“Nuntn “ A widow Y†“ N am." “Then whot in hum’l none are you Y" seid the prieet,_looing podâ€"en. r x “"3A3'iargeaaazai... 1:10!“ your are non. " Bonn ï¬n. Ago 3 Ionntion wu caused in the cod-mining ï¬lm» of Lisbon, North Walcl, by the dope-int of I minor with the wife of his «undo. It In ultimately diaeoverod ti“ After non. wandoring the pair hd utfldh tho oolllory district of Tylduloy. Linc-Iiiâ€. Fro- thiu place the following lotm hu bu- nuivod by the de- sortad hubmd: “Are you willing to give Sarah up into I, hndl, to tlko her as my own wifo, lid to nan-y hot? for I have asked her may tinc- to go but. and she answen ovary ti... ‘I will rather Buffal- doath.‘ So you ncw “darn-Id she will not come bank. Thonfontlf you are willing. kIndly win snot. signed by'you own hand stating you If. willing for .0 to make her a comfortable hon. nd the children, and I will forward you tan Ihiililp in cash for New You-'- ‘ifl dui- you do no that kind- noel." The hull-and ho replied, stating that untur- Invin‘ rouhd Inch a. climax, his cm run-pond.“ u voice-o to his “lies at the print allotâ€"E. Jamu'a Game. Whnt do“ Vinny Ia‘r Inn by stating that Hugo fol-tugg- In .nro in Germany ?†On tho county. thou in no country where there arc to nuy [up fortune- Among “the territorinl Iii-horny.†ll Gummy pro- per thou no twon 41: «um which are largo! tho] I: in root But-Mn, with the exception oi t o duh of althorlund’u (10- main ; bit a nor-on In-ior 0k acres of hi: Scotch unto on o huh-u mate. The laxded pomuiou of PA... Schwartz-n- bury (in Ann-h lid Hllguy) covered 42) Gun-.- sqnu .“ll, Print Li htimfleiln'u extend our 10‘ Iquro ‘11“, P. inrw E ,ter» huzy'l 80, and Count Bohonborn’a 80. Time are uncrou out-to- of 50 Equnrc xmlw. Vastly Fdr ll quit. niuhkon, 7.00, m htdi‘ mg tin Ooui Ro‘ml “Ildo bu turï¬une In tho urvioo of tho com." mi :hu .Khld luriuo, inked of hing £1 500,000, C(11- sidenbly oxooodl £3,000,000.* Lomz’uu Wand. Ono of the “rut wuya to u hexlth in to Ray drinking other gm Inna..â€" â€"_ iv, md upper“:- In; by fasting anll For tune: in Germany. Selling a Wife. ey murder trial. calls to my mind the con- viction of Robert Lyle in my county. last January, of the murder of Patrick Sullivan, and I consider it the strangest case, and one on which there was the best detective work done that it was ever my fortune to meet with. It is a famous case, and has oc- cupied the courts since the year 1881. and gave the oflicera more trouble to secure a conviction than a dozen ordinary murder cases. They had hardly anything to work on at ï¬rst, but stuck to it with the persis- tence ot bloodhounds on the track of a. vic- tim, ï¬nally securing a. convictiOu almost wholly on the ï¬nding of a. small piece of newspaper.†The reporter became interested and sug- gested that the gentleman give an account of the afl‘eir, which he did in the following THE CRIME. ‘ Sullivan was a. prosperous farmer and stock-raiser, living on \V lrlcat breek, in the southern part of Contra Costa. county, and Lyle was a near neighbor. The latter was elways getting into trouble with his neigh- bors and going to law, particularly with Sul- livan. In these suits he was generally on the wrong side of the question, and, of course, got worsted, which enraged him to such a. degree that he was injudicious enough to make threats against Sullivan’s life, at one time telling the latter’s son that his father would fail to come home some night. 01 the morning of the day of the murder Sullivan left his home With his team and went to town, where he had a. trifling lawsuit with Lyle before a justice of the peace, in which he was beaten. The pro- phecy was fulï¬lled, for Sullivan never ra- turued home alive. The next day he was found dead with his team in a ï¬eld not for from his home, his arm hanging over the whifllatree and his body lying upon the ground. The ï¬rst conclusion was that the team had run away with him. thrown him out, dragged him and broken his neck. This theory was strengthened by the fact that there was a. plainly-marked trail for two hundred and ï¬fty yards. evidently made by his body. No marks of blood were on his clothes, and no evidence that a. crime had been committed. At the inquest When the clothes of the dead man were removed, it was found that he had been murdered by Eow It Convicted a man of Murderâ€"A Remarkable True Story. “Speaking of circumstantial evidence,†a. gentleman from Cont“ Costa county yester- day. to a reporter of the Indrpt-ndcnt, with whom he had been talking about the Mark- language. some one who had Several of the shots had entered his body, one of them penetrating the heart and two of them imbedding themselves in the back of the waggon seat. I attended the trial and took a great interest in it. He was heard to pass the house of a man named Davis about nine o’clock on the night of the murder. The road passed the house of Lyle, so that if the latter so desired he could lie in ambush and kill him. “When the ofï¬cers examined the spot where the murder was committed they found the footprints of a man leading to and from Lyle’s house over the ploughed ground to the place where Sullivan had fallen out of the waggon. They at once suspicioned that Lyle had something to do with the crime, and went to his house, where he was found eating his dinner. They told him that he was suspected of murder. and that they were there to make an investigation. ‘I have expected this.’ said Lyle, ‘because I have had so much difï¬culty with Sullivan.’ He then told the cï¬icers to go ahead and make their search and that they would not ï¬nd anything criminating about his place. On two pegs on the wall the oflicers found a double-barreled shot gun, one of the bar- rels of which was moist on the inside, and had evidently been recently discharged. Some buckshot was found. although Lyle denied having any, and on a shelf by the huckshot was found a crumplsd piece of the San Francisco Call, a part of which was torn off. Lyle was arrested and lodged in jail at Martinez, after which one of the ofï¬cers took the prisoner’s boots and went to the scene of the supposed ambush. where he found in the brush alongside the road the imprints of 3 found in the soft ground perfectly, and at this stage of the investigation the Alameda cï¬i- oers offered to hand over the ease to the Contra Costa otï¬oers, but were de- tailed by the District Attorney to work it u . . p†The ofï¬cer continued the weaving of the chain of circumstantial evidence, and again returned to the scene of the murder. He went to the place where the tracks of the man’s knees had been found, and about thirty feet from that spot found a small piece of paper that had evidently been used as wedding for a gun. It was a bit of news- paper, crumpled and owder-burned, but not be plainly read. t the trial the busi- ness manager of the Call identiï¬ed the piece of paper as a part of an advertisement that had been printed in the paper on the same day and date as the paper found in Lyle‘s house. This little innocent-looking piece of paper was what completed the chain of circumstantial evidence, and consigned L} 18 to San Quentin. It was further shown that on the night of the murder, between the hours of eight and nine o'clock, a woman's screams and entreaties had been heard issuing from Lylre’s house. It. is sup- posed that it was Mrs. Lyle. who knew that her husband was starting out to kill Sullivan, and tried to prevent his going. Notw1thstanding the plain evidence in the case, it took three trials to convict the cold- blooded murderer, and the last jury found him guilty of murder in the ï¬rst degree, a. verdict that caused great dissatisfaction. I don’t generally believe in hanging a. man on circumstantial evidence, but that chain was so strong that no doubt. could be entertain- ed ox his guilt. As a. strange case it beats anything in California’s circumuatantial his- A SCRAP OF PAPER. is not the nec ), but the luxu SHOT HIM IN THE BACK. TO FIT THE TRACKS Eéh’a knee}. The boots were smes of Cowaxdice‘ of the Egyptiansâ€"Graphic De criptlon of the Battle. Full details are given by the London pa- pers of the defeat of Baker Pasha, briefly reported by cable. It. appears that on Sun- day evening,Feb. 3rd, Baker's force, thirty- six hundred strong, encamped two miles from Trinkitat. The night passed off quietly, and before daybreak on Monday morning. at half-past 7, three hundred bag- gage camels were laden and ready 10 move forward. The guns moved in advance of the column. the infantry following them, and the greater part of the cavalry were scat- tered round in a circle of skirmishers, a halt mile or so from the column, thus effectively protecting it from any sudden attack. The Turkish cavalr were in reserve. "Shortly after 8 o‘clock, ' says the special correspond- ent of the London Standard, “parties of the enemy were sighted. These retired slowly upon the approach of cavalry skirmishers, but showed more and more thickly as we advanced. At halfvpast S the column halted. A Krupp gun was brought forward and un- limhered, and a few rounds of shell were ï¬red. It was hardly to be expected that any execution would be done upon the scat- tered parties of the enemy, but the effect was to cause them again to fall back. About 9 o’clook the enemy again approached, this time in considerable numbers. The guns of the attacking party opened ï¬re. and the force wax ordered to advance. When the cavalry skirmishers came up with the ene- my they were soon hotly engaged. Pres- ently about a dozen Arabs riding bareback- ed on wiry little horses, appeared from be- hind a hillock and coolly gallopei around our right flank within three hundred yards of our cavalry on that side, running the gauntlet oi the latter's ï¬re. They passed scatheless, and as they still kept along par- allel, to our column with the evident inten- tion of gauging its strength and disposition, the general ordered the Turkish cavalry to After a hot chase the enemy escaped, but as the Turks rode book again toward the column they again appeared, and this time time zalloped across our front and around to our left. While our attention was distract- ed from the front by this incident, a. sudden commotion arose in the midst of our cavalry skirmishers on our left flank. The enemy must for some time have been lying conceal- ed close to them, and they now sprang to their feet, and with wild cries charged the Egyptian horsemen. These at once turned rein and came galloping in in a. wild and disorderly fashion. The order was then given for the infantry to form square-43. man- 1'") ware in which they had been daily drilled for weeks. At this crisis, however, the but half-disciplined mass failed to accom- plish it. Three sides were formed after a xashion, but on the fourth side tW) com- panies of the Alexamdria regiment, seeing the enemy coming on leaping and brandish- ing their spears, stood like a panic-stricken flock of sheep. and nothing could get them to move into their place. Into the gap thus left in the square the enemy hotly poured, and at once all became [anic and confusion. The troops ï¬red, indeed, but for the most part straight into the air. The miserable Egyptian soldiers refused even to defend themselves, butI throwing away their rifles, flung themselves on the ground and grove!- ed there, SCREAMING FOB MERCY. No mercy was given. the Arab spearmen pouncing upon them and driving their spesrs through their necks and bodies. No- thing could well surpass the wild confusion which the mass presentedâ€"camels and guns mixed up together. oldiers ï¬ring in the air, with wild Arabs, their long hair streaming behind them, darting among them hacking and thrusting with their spears. The right side of the square was not at ï¬rst assailed. but kept up a continuous ï¬re toward their front, which killed many of our cav- all-y. “ When the charge had been made by the enemy on the left flank Gen. Baker, with his staff, were out with the cavalry in front. Upon riding back they found that the ene- my had already got between them and the column. They at once charged them and cut their way through, but not without sev- eral being killed, among them Abdul Rusac, the chief Egyptian stafl' ofï¬cer. His horse was hamstrung, and as it fell he was in- stantly speared by the Arabs. On nearing the square the general had to run the gaunt- let of the tire of the Egyptians in his front, who, reg'erdless of what was going on around them, were blazing away in their frent. When the general reached the square the enemy had already broken it up, and it was clear that all was lost. Gen. Sartorius, with his staff, had been in the inside of the square when the enemy burst into it. They in vain tried to rally the panic-stricken Egyptians. and were so cooped in by the huddled mass of soldiers that, for a time, they were unable to extricate themselves. When, at last, the Arab throng of spearemen had thinned the throng of Egyptians, they succeeded in breaking out and in cutting their way through the enemy. IT NOW BECAME A TOTAL BOUT, the shattered column streaming across the plain toward Trinkitst, preceded by the fly- ing cavalry, the enemy pressing hotly on the rear of the infantry and slaughtering at will, All mountfsd men unable to ride well ._._, were dismounted by the rush of the flying horsemen and killed. When last seen, Dr. Leslie. Morice Bey, and Capt. Walker, with drawn swords and pistols, were stand- ing in a group surrounded by the enemy, close to the guns in the front face of the square. There also the Turkish battalion and thirty-six Italian policemen were an- nihilated, scarcely one escaping. So for ï¬ve miles the flight and pursuit were kept up. The Mlssowah black battalion behaved well. and for a portion of the distance re- tired storidily, ï¬ring volleys into the enemy. HOWIBAKER WAS DEFEATED. Zobshar’s blacks were undrilled and hardly able to ï¬re their rifles, not having arrived long enough before the advance to enable the ofï¬cers to get them into any shape. They therefore bolted as promptly as dil the Egyptians. (‘HABGE THEM AND CUT THEM OFF. of In‘ enemy with the greatest case. However, although ihe general could not induce the Turks to charge. he got them to form in line at the earthwork {Ltd to halt facing the eu- emy. The pursuit then ceased, the enemy, doubtless, being afraid of the ships ; but, in fact, no gunboat was in the harbor, the admiral having ordtrad away the Decoy on the previous day. \Vheu the pursuit ceased the weary fugitive. horse and foot, with many riderless horses here and there among thr m’ made their way acroas the two intervening miles of deep mud to Triukitat.‘ ()u rzrching the shore they would have crowded into the few boats there and swamped them had not the Exelish (thcers, revolver in hand. kept them back, Then they stood huddled together on the beach like a flock of sheep. and had the enemy come on the Whole would have been butcher- ed as easily and with as little resistence as so many sheep might have been. Gradually. as it was found that the enemy had really ceased in their pursuit, the panic sub- sided." A good ï¬t;A ï¬t of laughter. The man who lives too fast is bound to die too qulck. The most appropriate [astry for a free lunch counterâ€"sponge cake. “I'm locked in slumber," murmurs the prison bird in his sleep. The ï¬rst man who says that March will come in like a lion must be lambed. The oleomargarine manufacturers consti- tute an oloegarchy. The man vwho “wouldn’t wonder" must be the 12 ziest man in the world. The didn‘t-knowit-was-loaded man will always live. and frequently die. Ar-tiï¬cial cork has been invented, and we shall soon hear of adulterated life-preserv- era. The American hog is expected to breed disturbance between this country and Ger- many. Erery fresh trick the professional roller skater adds tohis or her repertoire is called a new~ rinkle. Every cloud has a. silver lining; but iti not so with solid silver water pitchers They are nickle plated. "i‘his is my coat of alma," said a tramp, tapping the ragged garment the deacon of a church had just giVen him. Heâ€"“Yoh made a. fool of me when I mar- ried you, madam] Sheâ€"“Lori You al- ways told me you were a self-made man !" When a. bachelor’ says he is single from choice it maks him mad to ask him why the girls made choice of some other fellow. 21 Connecticut newspaper has put the enterprise of its contemporariesto shame by a long article on “The Next World’s Fair. †7 It ain’ allus de silentman dat’s de smartes’. De sheep doan make ez much fuss on do dog, but he ain’ got as much sense. The only thing that equals the spontan- eousneas with which the country proposes a monument is the unanimous cord'unity w'uu which it isn't built. ANew York Alderman. being told re« cently that he was ambiguous, declared that the charge was false, as he had not drank anything for a year. Under’tbe héad of “Injustice to Ireland," the Detroit. Free Press announce: the marâ€" riage of Oscar Wilde to a Dublin girl. “\Vhy don't you favor Mr. Archer, my child 2†"Oh, for the best of reasons, ma. One can’t expect to make much a! a. hit in society with an old~fashioned cross-beau!†The critics are poking fun at a magazine article for saying, “man is our brother." Of course he is. lou woulden’t call him your sister, would you ? If the article said: “Man is our sister,†the critics would hav: ieieon hr kicking. A young Hungarian woman. recently ar- rived at New York, has been trying to marry three men. Some wicked American has evi- dently been giving that poor girl some exag- gerated pointers on the leap year of her adopted country. A writer in a scientiï¬c monthly ask : "What is a meter 1" In reply 3 jocular ed- itor said : “An opinion has long prevailed that a meter is a contrivance that works twenty-seven hours a day, eight days a week the year around ; and when you resolve to economise in the use of gas, it throws in a couple of extra hours dally without charge.†“ Oranges should never be eaten in com- pany,†says an authority. “he have noticed the disadvantage of eating ormges, too, and have come to the conclusion that the only way to really enj )y an orange is to retire to some sheltered spot in the grove, strip, seize the orange and go in swimming in it. One of the hardest lessons in life for young people to learn is to practicu econo- my. I: is a. harder duty for a young man to accumulate and save his ï¬rst $1,000 than his next: $10,000. A man can be econ- omical without being mean, and it is one of his most solemn duties to lay up sufï¬cient in his days of strength and prosperity to provide for himSelf and those who are or inay be dependent upon him in days of sickness or misfortune. Exhravugmce is one of the greatest evils of the present age. It. is underming and overturning the lofciest and best principles that should be retained and held sacred in society. It is annually sending thousands of young men and young women to min and misfortune. Cultivate, then. sober habits; acquire the art of aside every day and for you ties : avoid all unnecessary neuditures. Spend your tim penditures. Spent net as shall bring and your mpney I an mly WITTl(‘lSMS. Need of Economy. scientiï¬c rmonthlyAaaks;