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In the courfia of a. recent address on the arasaen. Mr. J.R. Alcott Raid: “A. town flock of sheet». with a shepherd and bush scythe. would be a grand thing to keep down brush and weeds along our highways, and would bring in our native grasses that would be a real ornament to every country road-Hide. In France some experiments have recent- ly been made in suppiying cowslwith cold and warm water to test the effect on them as milk glwra. The food given was the same in both cases, but it was found that those supplied with water heated to 113 ° F. yielded one third more milk than those given cold water. Few farmers would think of turning stock on their timothy meadows in the Spring. But they should remember that fall feeding is even worse, as it destroys the growth need- ed to protect the roots during the Winter when protection is most needed. Every pound of food than stolen from a timothy or clover meadow is offset by the loss in next neaaen’s hav crap; besides the chance. it given for noxious weeds to fill vacancieu where the grass is killed. Same thing may now be done to make potato bugs less numerous another season by destroying the old beetles which emerge from the around after frost has destroyed the vine. It is a reasonable theory that these beetles require one full meal before re- tiring to winter quarters. At all events, they make havoc with scattering potatoes left on the ground by accident or otherwise. Advantage may be taken of this to poison the beetles by sprirkling a few with water containing Paris green and leaving them where the bugs can get at them. This is, in fact, the only time at Which it is possible to poieen the fully developed beetles. In the warm weather of summer they are too busily engaged in propagating to eat. Tomato vines Whose fruitis well along toward maturitv will sometimes ripen a good portion of it; after being pulled up and hung in a. warm dry placn. Do this be- fore the vines are injured by frost. Many persons make no use of coal-ashes, but it certainly is an excellent mulch, "particularly for evergrems,” so says an old gardener. and gardens where the soil baked bndly have been brought into excel- lent condition by spsding in coal-ashes after other thingsghave been tried without success. Fertilizing qualities are not claimed for coal-ashes. but it gives depth to the soil in a. very inexpensive way. It makes it work easier, serves as a mulch, and insects are not fond of working in it. The experience of last year and of the Spring of 1882 in some quarters ought to be a. sufficient warning to growers of grapes that tho vines are not certain to withstand all the vicissitudes of our climate without protectinn. By all means lay them down before ‘Vlnter sets in and give them at least a slight covering. Nothing is so good for this purpose as old sods turned root upward. Nothing! iP. gained by having the vines on the trellis, for they must be taken down some time for trimming and now is the time for that operation. Professor A. Landmark, chief director of the Norwegian Fisheries. has published some interesting particulars of his studies of the capability of salmon to jump water- falls. He is of opinion that the jump depends as much on the height of the fall as on the currents below it. If there he a deep pool right under the fall, Where the water is comparatively quiet a salmon may jump six- teen feet perpendicularly, but such jumps are rare, and he can only state with certain- ty that it has taken place at the Hellefos n the Drams River, at Haugsend, where two great masts have been placed across the river fr the study of the habits of the sal- mon, so that exact measurements may he efâ€" fected. The height of the water in the riv- er, of course, varies» but it is as a rule. when the salmon is running up stream, sixteen feet below these masts. The distance be- tween the two is three and one-half feet, and the professor states that he has seen salmon jump from the river below across both masts. As another example of high jumping, he mentions some instances of Carratnnk water- To prevsnt injury to sound potatoes, all the damaged ones should be kept apart ; the sound ones may be kept in the usual man- ner, but should be well dusted with fresh, uir-slsked lime, which, by its aeridity will destroy any adhering spores. The drier the potatoes are kept the better, as dryness tends to keep the spores dormant. In so: looting the notatoes for seed only sound ones should be chosen. The cuttings should be rolled in sir-slaked lime, or sprinkled with pickling solution used for seed wheat to pre- vent smut (a. similar fungus). The solution is made of four ounces of sulphate of cop- per in one gallon of water, and the dusting with lime may be usefully given in addition. This disease is strictly contagious, and can only be avoided bydestroying the spores, or by leaving a. potato stubble in other crops for two or three years. These spores are the seed from which! new plants spring. They remain in the: soil in the diseased potatoes left in the " ground. and in the diseased ground, thus in- fecting the land and leaving a stock to pro- pagate a pest for the future. As the decay- ing matter dies, the spores (which are much like the fine dust of the ripe pufl balls, or the dry smut of corn, float off into the air, and are carried by the winds and spread over fresh ground : and so the in- fection spreads. To avoid this the diseased potatoes should be carefully gatherrd up and boiled (by which the fungus is killed) and fed to swine or fowls. The vines should be carefully burned, and never thrown into manure or compost heaps, for obvious reaâ€" sons. For, should the diseased potatoes be fed uncooked, the spores would pass out in the excrement,_aud so spread the infection. LOOK OUT FOR FHE POTATO ROT. In many parts of the country potato rot In doing great damage this year. It is the same disease, an exchange tells us, that first appeared in Ireland in 1847, and caused the great famine. It is a fungus, says the same authority, known as paronosrom infes- tana, which grows within the plant, filling the cells with white threads called mvcelli um. These threads bear small balls of capâ€" sules containing black epores exceedingly small, appearing as fine dust. It is these black spores which discolor the potatoes when the capsules burst and liberate them. How the Salmon Jumps. FOR THE FARMER». PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS. In 1863 the Rev. Newton Chance of Texas ki‘led an editor in Sherman, and moved to Mississippi. At that time he was a. lawyer, but, becoming converted, he entered the ministry. Recently he returned to Texas. and whlle on a visit to Shermanfivas arrested for the murder committed twenty-two years a go. ’A seneation has been excited in Germany by a. series of articles in a leading Frankfort newspaper denour cing the apathy of the police in permitting heavy gambling to con- tinue throughout the season at the club at Baden-Baden. Immense sums of mnney have changed hands there lately, and during the races two German sportsmen lost $100,000. In Omaha, 3. city of 60,000 inhabitants, there are sixty policemen enrolled. Six of these are engaged in routine work, four or five are auspended for drunkenness or breach of discipline, two or three are on the sick list, leaving fifteen for act’ve duty. Hence seven men protect the city by day and eight by night, and crime is growing more prevalent constantly. Princess Therese, the only unmarried daughter of Prince Luitpold of Bavaria, who has visited incognito every country in Europe with the exception of Spain, and kept 9. dia~ ry for future elaboration, has just published a volume entitled “Impreu‘mm of a Journey through Russia," under the nom de plume of Th. Von Bayer. Her next work is to be a. description of her travels in England. A Sunday school scholar was asked, apro- pos of Solomon, who the great; queen was that travelled so many miles to see him. The scholarâ€"in fact, the whole achool~looked as if a little help would be liked, and the teach- er, therefore, said: “The queen’s name be- gm with an S.” “I’ve gotit, sir I" exclaimed the delighted scholar. “Well, who was it; ?" “It was the Queen of Spades, sir I” There is no longer any possibility of doubt that Ludwig II., King of Bavaria, is hope- lessly mad. The fact; will soon be formally recognized by the Bavarian Landtag by vo- ting to pay the enormous debts of the King under the State’s guarantee, on the condition that the Landtag shall hereafter have abso- lute control over the finances of the royal household. Sockabesin Swassin is said to be the richest Indian in Maine. He is the handsomest man on the Island of Oldtown, and one of the most intelligent. He is a lineal descendant of the Baron de Oastlne. There are many educated Indians on that island, and they live very like their white neighbors. Carrier pigeons in France are henceforth, like horses and mu‘es, to be registered, so as to be subject to military rtquisitions when necessary. A decree issued recently orders owners or breeders to make an annual return to the mayor of the number of their pigeons and the journey’s to which they have been trained. The information is to be forward- ed to the military authorities. These formalâ€" ities, however, will be confined to certain parishes, a. list of which is to be settled an- nually, in November. In Schobarie County, N. Y., there are two women twins 94 years of age. Both are described as well preserved, active and in full possession of their mental faculties. Each was the mother of seven children, the eldest of each family being alive, one at the age of 65, the other 68 years. The property of France, stored in the Garde-Meuble in Paris, is said to have a val- ue of round 30,000,000 francs. It consists chiefly of furniture, glass, and china, and contw'ns among other pieces of historial interest the bed and writing desk of Louis xy-rrv XIV. Clerical starvation is little less than a lit4 eral fact in the Protestant Episcopal Church, accordingto the assertion of the Church Press which argues that when a man has been duly ordained to the cure of souls he is entitled to an adequate support for himself and fam- ily from the Bishop by whom he has been set apart, and from the parish in which he toils. The editor tells of s. clergyman who was induced to relinquisha mercantile pcsl- tion worth $4,000 a year, and during ten years of ministerial life has never received more than $500 a year, and now he has a wife and four children; yet he is strongly endorsed by his Bishopt and approved by his parishes. Another case taken as an example is that of a man earnest and devoted to the work, a good render and a fair preacher. He has a Wife and six children. He is promised $5008 year, and furnishw his own house. In point of fact he received last year, less than $400 salary. He has parishoners now at summer resorts who have not contributed one dime to their minister’s support. The Paris Vaudeville Theatre has just adopted a very clever invention, by means of which each seat can be at once folded up into the thickness of three inches, rest for thé axms and all; likewise a hat stand and a. cane stand. There are not less than 3,000 white opium smokers in San Francisco. Many joints in China Town having been closed, “opium fiends” get their own apparatus, and “hxt the p pa” in their own rooms. “Hwntws” is the name applied to the in- habitants of the south of Wales by the men of the north. The northmen have a strong dislike for a “Hwntw,” and can hardly un» derstand his dialect. Canon Farrar, in his lec-‘ure on Dante, de- ‘clares the “Divine Comedy” superior to all the epics of Virgil or Milton, not excepting “Paradise Lost.” “Tax whiskey to death” is the motto of temperance adherents in the South, where drsnking is slightly on the decline. fall, Rsumbsc, In North America, where Jumps uL \«thVe feet have been recorded. Professor Landmark further states that when a salmon jumps a fall nearly perpen- dicular in shape, it is sometimes able to re- main in the fall, even if the jump is a. foot or two short of the actual height. This, he maintains, has bem proved by an overwhelm ing quantity of evidence. The fish may then be seen to stmd for a minute or two a foot or so below the edge of the full, in a trembling motion, when with a smart twitch of the tail the rest of the fall is clesr~ ed. But only fish which strike the fall straight with the snout are able to remain in the falling mass of water; if it is struck obliquely, the fish is carried back into the stream below. This Professor Landmark believes to be the explanation of salmon passing falls with a clear descent of sixteen feet. The professor believes that this is the extreme jump 9. salmon is capable of and points out that, of course, not all are capable of performing this feat. " FROM MANY SOURCES. The first move was an attack on York Toronto) on the 27th of April, 1813, The (place being ill-prepared f 1r defence was easily taken. All the public stores, public buildings and shipping were destroyed, be- sides this, very little respect was paid to private property. The Britieh commander, General Sheaffe, unable to resist the. attack was forced, after a brave defence, to evacuate the town and take up his line of retreat on Kingston, thereby wisely. although blamed at the time, saving his regulars, than few, leaving the Americana master of the place, which they held for five days and then sailed for the reduction of Fort George at the mouth of the Niagara river. During the winter Li 1813 the Americans had made great preparations to strike a de~ cided blow for the reduction of Upper Can- ada. Their plans were Well laid but failed through the incompntency of their generals. The reader will bear in mind that at that time (1813) Great Britain was engaged in war all over the world, in Europe, Asia, Africa. and America, and could spare but few regular trooyrs for Canada. The spring of 1313 found the Americans in full anntrn'l of Lake Ontario having, comparatively, a pogerflnll fleet under Commoflors Chanticey. The attack on Fort George was commenced on the morning of the 27th of May, 1813. The Americans, besides their shipping, had an army of nearly 6000 men of all ranks. The British force at Fort George, all hold, was about 1000 men. Criticising it at the present day it would have been wiser in Gen- eral Vincent to have taken up his line of retreat at once than to have resisted the American attack, by which hundreds of his best soldiers were sacrificed in a useless defence. After a spirited defence of some four hours, the British 1033 of all ranks having amounted to over four hundred men, between killed, wounded and missing, General Vin- cent, to prevent being surrounded and cut off, decided on a retreat to the head of the Lake, and fell back across the or antry in a line parallel o the Niagara river, reaching the position at the “BEAVER DAM" that night, at which place he was joined about midnight by Colonel Bishop’s force from Fort Erie and the other outlying posts on the N iagara. The next morning, the 28th, the now retreating British force of about 1,600 men continued its retreat until it reached the entrenched position at Burling- ton Heights. The position of Burlington Heights was in the neighbourhood of DUNDURN CASTLE, the residence of the late Sir Allan Macnab and, we believe, the Hamilton Cemetery now covers the ground on which the entrenched worka-earthworkeâ€"could be seen on the writer's first visit to that place in 1844 It was an important position during the war, being close by the the road leading up to Ancaater, by which communication was had and kept up with the army of the west, under General Proctor, then serving on the Detroit frontier. It was distant, midway, about fifty miles from Fort George and the some from York. On Saturday, the 5th of June, 1813, the advance body of the Americana, consisting of two brigades of foot, amounting to about 3,500 men with eight guns, under Generals Chandler and Winder, and250 cavalry under Colonel Burns, reached Stoney Creek, driv- ing in the rear of the British, The Ameri- cans had in all nearly 6,000 men, between Stoney Creek and FortGeorge, besides their shipping. General Vincent had taken his stand that Saturday night, on Burlington Heights, determined to hold it. The sun had gone down that Saturday night, closings. week, the darkest for the British arms during the war of 1812. The whole of the Niagara. Distrlct, extending from Fort Erie to Stoney Creek was that night in possession of the enemy. A deep gloom pervaded every farm house and ham- To make this article interesting it is nec- esnry to give ashort account of the positions, relative forces and the various movements of the two armies on the Niagara frontier dur- ing the early spring of 1813, previous to the evacuation of Fort George and the retreat of the British force to Burlington Heights, now the city of Hamilton. General Vincent had command of the British force on the Niagara. frontier. amount- ing to about 1,800 regulars and 500 militia, scattered over thirty miles, extending from Fort Erie opposite Buffalo down to Lake Ontario, with headquarters at Fort George. Stoney Creek in itself was but a smafll aifv fair, that is in so far as the numbers of the British force engaged, but in its results it proved the most important acti~n of the whole war, by checking the advance of a. comparatively powerful army, flushed with ecent success, and turning that advance into an almostignominioua retreat, certain- ly a. disastrous one. The pz ople of UpperCanada claim Stoney Creek, and justly too, as their own. The militia of Lower Canada, De Salaberry and his little band of Voltigeurs have the undis- puted honour of the Chateauguay affair Supported, however, on the last day by the tim» ly arrival of RED GEORGE; Colonel George Macdonnell~the hero of Ogdensburg, with his six hundred Canadian voyageurs from Kingston. In a future article we shall be able to furnish our readers with the march of the 600 Macdonnell men from Kingston tn the battle field of Chateauguay. There were two surprises, turning points. at most critical periods of the war. by which the advance of superior American armies was arrested. The first occurred at Stoney Creek on the early morning of Sunday, the 6th of June, 1813. and resulted in checking the advance of General Dearborn, then in full pursuit of the British force under General Vincent, in his retreat from Fort George The second was that of Chateauguay on the 26th of October. 1813, by which De Salaberry and his small force of Canadian Voltigeurs arrested and turned the advance of General Hampton on Montreal into a disastrous retreat Forty years have come and gone since our first visit to Storey Creek. This place is seven miles distsnt from Hamilwn and is celebrated in Canadian stwry as being the scene of a. night surprise, one of the most gallant affairs during the war of 1812. and of which the men of the Niagara. Disfrict and the descendants of the OLD YORK MIL- I'IIA naturally pride themselves as having had relatives representing nearly every old family of LINCOLN and YORK then serving in the little British force on the Niagara. frontier. Visit 10 Etoney Creek Battlefield Forty Years ago. BY JOHN FRASER, MONTREAL. A HISTORIC SPO'l‘. “I am just as much opposed to tippling as anybody,” said Fenderson, “but, neverthe- less, liquor rightly used is a blessing to hu- manity. When I was ill 18.36: Winter, I act- ually believe it saved my life.” Foggâ€" “Very likely ; but how does that prove that liquor is a blessing to humanity ?” Now, although these adventurers have been exposed on several occasions in this country, as society people in Ottawa and other cities know to their cost, the lesson seems to have had but little effect, and dupes are to be found by the first well-dressed, glib-tongued individual who presents him- self to them and who is able to relate anec- dotes showing his intimacy with this or that nobleman; nor is he thought any the less of if;he can have it hinted about that he was concerned in some little scandal in which lady Somebody was said to be mixed up. Of course he is able to show letters from various nobleman which put all doubts of his pretensions to flight, but it is exceed- ingly probable that were those nobleman whose names figure on my gentleman’slet ters to be made acquainted with the con- tents of those epistles purporting to be writ- ten by them, their eyebrows would be elev vated several inches, so great would be their surprise. A good way to make anything prevalent, from crime to poor Whiskey, is to make 3 law to suppress it. It used to be contrary to the statute in Connecticut for a. man to kiss his wife on Sunday, and when that was the csso somebady was being hauled over the coals bright and early every Monday morning to answer for this grave and griev- ous misdemeanor, but that style of trans- gression is far from frequent now. This is not as it should be, and the new Administration should take immediate steps to effectually put the wives of the country on a more equalfooting, in so far as the gym- nastics of the mouth are concerned, by mak- ing it as heinous in law fora man to him; his own wife at any time as stealing chickens in the dark of the moon. Man is by nature daring and intrepid, and it comes as natural for him to seek the path of danger as it does for a. nursling to begin cutting teeth. Show him a fence and from that moment an inpulse to climb it becomes his ruling passion. To do and to dare is the foundation stone on which all his hopes are grounded. Nothing clings to memory like the flavor of forbidden fruit, and the greater the penalty against its pillage the more de- sirable it becomes. Make kissing indictable between people who have the right to pull hair and spit fire at each other Without ju- dicial interference, if you want to see women tripping about with melody in their souls and feet like cork. All that most married women need to make them beings of light and jewels of gladness in more kisses from the old men and less growling about how the potatoes are fried. No woman can long be an angel without a sip of nectar now and then, and the only way to guarantee a. steady supply of ambrosla to the sprites in muslin who make paradise on earth a possibility is to pass a law against conjugal kissing so stringent that no husband csn sleep until he has broken it at least a dozen times. Uncle George: “So you are studying Englishliteraiure, my dear.” Sweet girl graduate from the West : “Oh, yes, uncle, we‘vejust finished ‘Pinto’s Republic,’ and are in the midst of the Pope’s ‘Essay on Where one wife is now kissed with some pretense at regularity‘by the man who was always swearing before marriage that he would eat her up before the year was out, it is safe to say that ninety-seven other women go moplng around the house with lips perohing from neglect, burning biscuit and running down shoes in sheer despair for the want of that encouragement an occasion a1 kiss would probably give. Society Adventurers. Mr. E. C. Grenville Murray says, in his “Under the Lens,” that “every circle of London society has its adventurers of both sexes, who live by praying upon people of as credulous turn.” This is not true of London society only, but these social adventurers are to be found in every civilized country under the sun and Canada, at any rate, has had her full share of them. A large num- ber of Canadian society people. however have themselves to thank for becoming the victims of these adventurers. Such people have, in a great many cases, risen from little or nothing : they are descendants of ob- scure families and having acquirsd wealth, are desirous of “cutting a dash," as the ,phrase ls. And what is so great a help to this performance as the entertaining of some titled aristocrat from the old country ? nothing; and accordingly when a young man, proclaiming himself to be the son of Lord This or Lord That, makes his appear- ance out here, he is seized upon with avidi- ty by these parvenus ; is invited to their houses and his name and title are intro- duced at every possible opportunity ; and it is not till the discovery is made that the lion's title is a bogus one, and that his aristo- cratic manner and knowledge of high life have been acquired during the period when he served as Lord Somebody’s valetâ€"de- chambre, that those who were so eager to bow down and do homage to him discover how egregiously they have been duped. They seldom appear to take the trouble to find out whether there actually is such a title as that assumed by the sham sprig of l nobility; in their innocence of the ways of the aristocracy, his dupes mistake flashy vivacity for high-bred ease, and manners aped from his former master for the results of having been reared in a genuine aristo~ cratic atmosphere. And so they continue to be duped, and the “descendant of a hundred earls ’ borrows a few hundred, perhaps a few thousands from his deluded entertainer to be repaid “directly remittances arrive from home ;” and he. the impostor, lives on the fat of the land and may have the pick of his host's daughters if he feels so inclined, until the denouement comes and it is found that the adventurer's claims are, in the words of the immortal Reginald Bunthorne, “Hollow, hollow, hol ow.” let. It was nearly with the “ silence of despair" the women and children had wit neaeed, during the previous week, our coun try’s brave ri: fenders, among whom were their husbands, their fathers, their brothers, pass by, in full retreat before superior num- bers. But let us turn our eyes to that de- termined little band as they stood that night on Burlington Heights Their resolve was: â€"“ to do or die 1” And before the dawn of the next morning they played havoc in the enemy’s camp, as we shall relate in our next article Why Married fafiks Don‘t Kiss. .,r-â€"»<<.>>”-â€" The entire business portion of a Western town was reported as destroyed by fire ; and when a charitable association made in- quiry, to render some assistance, it was dis- covered that a solitary saloon had been swept away. Fred Archer is the most auccesaful jockey in the world because he picks out winning horses before he mounts them. There would be some great doctors in the world if they could choose their patients. “Oh 1 yes,” said madam, after the usua domeslic racket had got itself well under way, “oh ! yes, you gentlemen want your wives to be angels !” “Not at all,” replied Mr. Duesenberry, wiping the dish water from his head and face, “not at all; we don’t want them to be angels at allâ€"we want them to be ladies.” And then the row began all over again. Ascientific writer says, “No power has yet; been conceived to enable the human eye to see one of the atoms of musk.” No won- der. That isn’t What musk was made for. It doesn't require any power to enable a. humsn nose to smell an atom of musk, though. The best thing an ignoramus can do is to become a drunkard. Everybody will then observe what a. smart man he would be If he would only let whisky alone, and thou- sands of lies will be told for his benefit. “Some folks is allus sayin’ dat dar ain nuthin’ new un’er de sun,” says Uncle Ople’ Reid. “Dem folks whut holds dis here, idee oughter git er holt 0’ some peach brandy dat I tuck er snort 0’ some time ago, an’ blame of da wouldn' change dar chune. W’y dat brandy woz so new dad; I couldheah it hoppin’ roun’ on its fall-fours. W’y, de" jug had fuzz on it.” Hansom Cab Driver (to fare, who has ad- mired the horse): Yes, air, ’9 isa beauty 2 You see my wife’s brother is coachman to Lord Splashboard. My lord’s out of town. So I pays him a small consideration and takes his stable in turn ! (Lord Splashboard was the fare !) Bank President (to cashier : “You look somewhat pale this morning,” Cashier : “I do not feel very well.” B. P. “Nothing ser~ ious I trust '3" CA: “No. I’ve been vaccinat- ed and it has taken, and it makes me f8 '5; quite feverish.” B. P. (aghast) : “Been vucn cinated '2" C. : “Yes sir.” B P. hurries to directors’ room, enters, exclaiming : “Gen- tlemen, the small-pox is raging in Montreal, and our cashier informs me he has just been vaccinated.” Great consternation among di-v rectors. Immediate investigation ordered. President Cleveland in getting tired of silly mothers bringing their little daughters to the White House and expecting him to kiss them. The enjoyment has become rather monotonous. Perhaps he wouldn’t weary of the duty if the girl were only big enough to enjoy the kisein g. The Sultan has taken to composing music, in what he considers to be an imitation of Wagner’s style. Here is one for the conundrum Club: If it took ancis Bacon four years to write Sh‘kespeare, how long did it take Daniel Webster to write the dictionary. ' Fashion has decreed that bonnets shall be very small this Winter. In order to check any unseeming jubilation it may be well to add that the trimming will rise up about eleven inches above the bonnet. So there ! “Dar ain’ nuthin’ more deccibin’ den. soun’.” says the plantation philosopher. “Dar ain’ nuthin' mote pityful den de cry o'er wild eat, but, oh Moses, whut er mouf an’ claws dat val-mint hub got !” A boy Wu a asked if he ever prayed in church, and answered : "Oh, yes, I always say a. prayer like the rest do just before the sermon begins.” “What do you say?” was the inquiry. “Now I lay me down to sleep." There have been various answers to the conundrum, Why is a ship called she? We think the proper answer is : Because she is handsomest when she is well rigged. Wiveiv should cut this out and show it to their husâ€" bands. A man named Cannon, employed in an Ottawa. foundry, went off the other day loaded to the muzzle, and on his return was promptly discharged. The man who went to the country for “rth and change” says that the waiters got most of his change and the landlord the rest. The difference between a man and a dog is â€"The hotter the day the lighter the pants for the former, and the hotter the day the thicker the pants of the latter. Of course we do not wish to prevent ladies calling upon us, but we will merely mention the fact that there are mice in our editorial room. There is said to be an actress in Vienna. who is upwards of one hundred years of age and who has not yet begun to give farewell performances. Earl Carnsrvon says he was struck with the vast resources of the west; of Ireland. Previous Viceroys have usually been struck with bricks. A fashion paper announces that low-neck- ed dresaes are to be dropped at the opera next VViuter. The intelligence is somewhat startling. A Long Inland man has struck a large for- tune by a recent diseoverv. He feeds his cows on live hens, and the cow turns out egg-mags. Twentyvone million buttons were made in this country 1331: year. The church contri- bution box is indeed a. great aid to industry. The New Haven Register has an article on “\Vire Drawers." Should think they would chafe awfully. The messenger boy may develope into a fast young man, but he never gives it away while he is a messenger. When a political party is divided against itself before the election there will be no division of the spoils subsequently. The dance most popular in the kitchens at this season: Can-can. If it wasn’t for the smell some butter would be better for plastering than mortar. When are oysters like angels’ visits ? When they are at a church fair. Flsh are generally weighed in their own scales. A cold spellâ€"I-c-e. Song of the cowboyâ€"Oh, these steers I A tough citizenâ€"The boarding-house steak. A wide spread reportâ€"The explosion at Hell Gate. CURRENT FUN.