Richmond Hill Public Library News Index

The Liberal, 7 Jan 1886, p. 7

The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Thev m'ved mx s'owly but surely along the diflimltpath, in Indian fiie, which was now headed by the younger mam, Dick Hart The party had now entered 9. WM gloomier part of the forest,&region of dense, Their abhorence of that deed was all the stimulus required to spur them forward with the greatest eagerméas to bring the crlmiual ’!0 justice. Yet they all felt that the task War! a very dangaroua onel Hour after hour passed and still the trail led the way deeper and deeper into the gl’mm By and by they came to a spot Where Re.th had stumbled and fell, and where he had probe.ny rested for u spell. After Ev-irynne kept a. sharp look-out for the object of their pursuit with their hands near the locks of their rifles. They expected to have to cape with a desperate man, perhaps armed, who Would not allow himself to be easily taken, and who would doubtless hold his own life, an wollas theirs. very cheaply. The detectiva had done his best to nerve them to their work by his person ml assurance 21m Redlaw was undoubtedly the murderer of Sampson. The four men were now some distance within the grim borders of the inter- minable swamp which air-etched away for a hundred miles to the borders of the northern lakes, and without further words they set themselves to follow Rcdlaw'a foot- atepr, which led at first in i. at might course through bush and thicket, ovar fallen trees, across littlefrozen lakes, into the very heart of the silent, dim, mysterious region, shut out from the sunshine of the clearing by nnk upon rank of heaven-towerifig trre trunks, whose dark, evergreen crowns in- tercepted 1he sun’s rays, allowing but a few struggling beams to find their way down to the earth. p‘ssing this point the toot-ptlnts no longer led in a straight course, but grew uncertain and finally actually doubled back for a. short distance. The party began to hope that they would not have to proceed much fan that. The foot-prints gave evidence that. Redlaw was nearly exhausted The detecive acknowledged the Juutice of this opinion, but mid that the search must be kspt up unti! the man was taken, track or no track. The remainder of the men, although won- derlng greatly what was in the wind, were obliged to go to work as u-ual. In a few momvnts the two men selected returned 2 nipped for the expedition, and the party all four htarted immediately, the detective taking the lead, and making direct for the westerly side of the clearing, he having noticed the night before that Redlaw’a foot- steps were pointed in that direction. These tracks were still faintly perceptible and they had only to follow them “hich ever way theyfiled, r “ You are more confident than I am,” :11- swered Mr. Brookel “ There are: several possibilities in the came to be corsidererl and some of them are pretty Weighty, For in- ltancv, he may be dead of exposure, ; nr he may have been torn tn pieces by wolves ; or he may have mached the London Road. in which case. he is likely to be safe for the present. Or his tracks may grow indistin- guishable prcsently, You see already how the fr‘otprmts of wild animals cross and res cross the trail we are following?” “ Tnis is much better thanI feared,” re» marked the detective. “I was almost sure the track would be quite obEitemted, and thus our work made much more difficult. We have only to follow up these foot prints and Redlaw is ours.” Now, some hour an being, oblivious of the ghostly visitation of the nighr, starts tn» machinery of the mill, and the sharp noise of the steel saw, as it begins to eat its way thwugh a solid p'ne log. puts to flight all lesser sounds. The mill herds are now gathering for the d :y’s lsrour, and s.‘e'stand- lng anIittle knots dlecueslng the myster- ious crys said to have been heard by one sharp-03nd fellow above the roaring storm of the preceding night. Before much opin- ion has been elicited, the doorof M~ . Brooke’s house opens and that gentleman, accompan- led by the stranger guest, emerges and walks slowly across to where the men are gethc red. Both men look serious uni somewhat caro- worn, evidence, not yeteffaced, of the events of the previous night. They had come to a mutual understanding regarding the search for Bedlam, which the detective was anxious should begin without any delay. He had greater expectations of finding him dead, however, than alive. Away (ff in the forest depdm one hears the heavy booming of the xufll-ad grows»; from all the tree-tops come the twitteringa of the numberleas cross-bills and pinefiuchea; and from the snttler‘s out-houses rises, lus- tily and cheerily, the clarion notes cf the gusrdiana of the poultry~yard. Mr. Brooke selected Hart and Peters from among the men and sent them home for their rifles, telling them they were wanted for a bit of a. {ram}; in the woods. Responsive to the change from a long night of cold and Ltorm to a mot-pining bright and beautiful, every living thing warms with fresh‘life, and the myriad noun a which fall upon the attentive ear attest the unusual joy in the newly-awakaned day. Every front-nipped bird and beast sends forth a blessing after its manncr. As far as eye can reach an Aladdin’s gar- den, more splendid and marvellous perhaps than ever Oriental imagination dreamed, lay spread out, like some magical transfor- mation scene, over the evergreen forests of Canada. The sun, bursting into radiant‘flame over the eastern margin of forest, transforms the whole lsndsrape into a fairyllke scene of splendour. In the transparent, frosty sir, every iclcle, touched by the sun’s rays, sud- denly turns into a. sparkling diamond, every snow crystal a. lesser gem, every encrusted tree-leaf a cluster of brilliantsâ€"until the general effect of the whole is dazzling in the extreme. The morning Succeeding that dreadful Christmas night,dawned clem- and beautiful. It was one of those gloriously bright «wak- enlngs in midwiuter, for which \Vestern Canada. should be famous. The heavy anowv fall over night had heaped the white crys- tals many feet deep alike in the forest and the clearings. Even the tree-branches were weighted down with the bright particles, indicating that the wind had blown itself out before the now had ceased falling AN UN EXPLAINED MYSTERY. A TALE OF CANADIAN BAGKWGODS LIFE. III. “ Ha I there‘s that awful shape again-it haunts meâ€"I’m loatâ€"doomedâ€"O Heavens I “ 0, Ely head ! my head !â€" a horrible dreamâ€"I thought I had killed old Sampson ’Tllda helped mesâ€"In the night we went; awayâ€"O how we loved each other, ’Ti‘da. and 1â€"1 wanted no moneyBut she did wTold me it was buried in the mill-All, for herâ€"for herâ€"Ah me l She never cued for the old miserâ€"true alwaya~to me." Then ensued silence for a. 'Eime But der law broke out in a changai mood and a. louder tone : When within a mile or so of the clearings the detective noticed that the maimed man was gradually reviving. He began to utter unintelligible words and to toss rent- lesaly to and fro on the stretcher. 'inu detective walked along by the side of the trody and occasionally put his head down to mtch. if poasible, the import of some of the mutterings. By and by the sentences be- came less scrappy and more connected. By carefully 1:5teniug the detective made out something like the following : They had many miles to cover are the settlement could be reached, and progress over the rough, log-strewn path was necessarily slow and tedious. Rediaw, as the hours wore away, remained in the same condition and gave slight signs of life. These were an occasional 10w groan elicited by some of the unavoidable jolts. The men, somewhat awed by the woeful condition of the fugitive, maintained silence amongst them- selves, and threaded their way through the interminable forest aisles with all possible 8962‘!- Mr, Brooke out a couple of light poles and some twigs and with them constructed a rude stretcher upon which they placed the inanimate figure, and not knowing what moment the last breath would be drawn, the party set out on their return journey, two men carrying the stretcher alternately. They Could hardly recognh“ in the mangl- ed and bloody mass of flesh and tags, the resolute and dangerous Redmw of tne day before. The change a few hours had wrought wan almost incredible. The report was immediately sucveeded by two others in rapid suficeaaion, and threo Wolves lay dead upon the trampled and bloody ground. The remainder, unwilling- 1_v enough, elunk away among the lvushes. When the party reached the place where Redlaw lay they found him senseless from loss of blood. The conflict so unequally carried on could have but one endng but for the interposition of the detective and his party. They had stood dumb-founded for a. few sccnnds gaz- ing fit the unwanted battle, too surprised to interfere But even while they were stand- ing watching, 1m immense wo’f leaped up «nd caught Redlmv by the hand and jerked him from his perch and'would have torn him to pieces in an instant, had not Dick Hurt recovered himself sufficiently to shoot it dead with a. wellvdirected shot from his nfla. “ P-oorvdevil,” whispered the detective to Mr. Brooke, “his mind’s goneâ€"he’s mad.” (Hey you brutea ! Take that now ! And that tpo ! 0hr, 0711 !)"7 And then foumed a. shriek of wild laugh- ter which was as much like real mirth as a. fit ofpulsyjs {Hf-ea minuet. _ (Here now, this is for your mother-in-law I Take it home.) ' Let me come at him now! Kate, dear, do let me pan him now I’ Then would follow a series of blows from the bludgeon which knocked ove r twoo three wolves, but they returned to the at tacx in a. moment. His eyes were glaring and bloodshot, froth oozed from the lips, and he had by chance drawn a bloody hand across his cheek, leav- ing a. ghostly streak. But more horrible than all this, were the occasional bursts of maniacal laughter, interlsrded wifh the words of some old forgotten song, which rang through the forest with en awful mockery of mirth. The wild figure would every moment or two strike a. hideous cari- cature of a jaunty attitude. and skip along the treetrunk, dealing his blows right and left amongst the wolves and chanting some such gibberish as the following, addressed to first one wolf and then another : " 'l‘my. sir, don’t you be lmpudent, Else 1 shall show vou the difference soon'.â€" (Take that, you devil ! And that ! And thij l”) Every instant a. wolf, more daring thim his fellows, would leap at the forlorn wretch, snapping his hungry jaws, only to receive a stinging biow from Bedlaw’s bludgeon, fellâ€" ing it to the eurhh With a. yelp of pain. The man seemed perfectly indifferent to the suf- fering he was himself undergoing. In fact he seemed to regard the Whole scene in the lighs of a. huge joke, But his appearance was frightful in the extreme. Standing upon a gigantic fallen tree- trunk was the tall figure of Redlaw, brand- ishing wildly a heavy club, Surround- ing him on every side were». number of leves who were tearing and snaypmg and anal-ling in a. most vicious and lo d- cm‘dling fashion. Redlaw’s clothing was turn to faftera and from his naked limbs the bleeding llth W28 hc‘nglng in long strips. Dick Hart, who had gradually drawn a few paces in advance of the rest of the party, suddenly oarce to a halt with n. sup- pressedexclamation. He held up his hand, and than motioned that all should listen. Then they heard the confused sounds of some kind of a conflict taking place some distance off on the opposite side of a dense thicket of luxuriant creepers. They could distinguish quite clearly the howls and ye‘ps of some wild animals, horribly inter- polated with human cries and the dull thud of blows. The party, now hurrying forward, pressed through the thicket and beheld a, sight that not one of them will ever forget while he lives I acrubby firs, growing at the bottom of adt 6p valley, or rather basin, which in the summer aeason would be sxmplya cold, boggy marsh. The trees in this place, from the mtuxe of the soil, were twisted and con- torted into every hideous, weird and fan- tastic shape imaginable. Peters grew frightened at the threatening aspect at this ghoulish place, and all the party, more or less, felt the uncanny and diabolical influ- 81106. " '51:, let. me tell you. you’re mighty rid!culous 0, to be euro, here's the cat in the pan.‘ Cnl Fizzlehp was under the painful ne- ceaaity of ndmiuisfierlng a severe castigatiou to his son Johnny. After he had completed his labor he said atarnly tn the aufl‘uring victim : “Now tell me why I nunishwi you?" “That's it,” aobhad Johnnv, “you nearly pound the life out of me. and now you don‘t even knov why you did it.” A man at the telephone, the other day shouted : Hello, there ; why in thunder don’t; you fipmk louder ‘P” An angeuc voice repfied. “What did you my ?’ “Oh 1” ex claimed he, recogxfizing the vnica of NW daisy at the oeu‘ral offiae‘ "exams me ; I thought I was hiking with my wife ’ There in perhaps no test of the purity of water so crucial or searching as its use in the operation of brewing For successful brew- ing it is indiapensable to have a. water al- most 'wholly free from organic m\tter, as the letter in any but the moat minute quan- tity induces a. prematu'e and unhealthy fer- mentation of the brewer’s wort. The brew- er, in fact, requires a water free from bac~ terial life, an that in the process of mashing the diaetatlc action of the melt may take place unmolested by the chemical changes which are incidental to the life of bacteria. When brass matings are of too compli- cated a form to be ground, filed. or machined they may be finished by the action of acid, either alone or followed by a varnish. After cleaning the casting by heating it and plung- lng it into acidulated water, It is immersed in a. bath composed of two parts of nitric acid and one part of water, or one part of salammoniac. one of sulphurlc acid, one of nitric acid, and one of water. The casting is then plunged into pure water, than into hot soap-lye, and dried in hot sawdust. A soft silver aoldar may be prepared by melting one pxrt of lead; when the latter is fluid, aid t-vo parts of min, using a maid piece of resin as a flux In soldering fine work, wet the parts to be joined with chlor- ide or thc solution. B ,mx can be used as a flux‘ The pointer} fl&me of the blow-pipe is best, and should be directed on the parts to be soldered. Immediately on being stung by a Wasp, place the hollow barrel of a. key round the sting and press until it begins to hurt. On removh g the key, the sting will be found lying outside the puncture it has made, and inside the ring formed by the presxure of the key-barrel. All pain cease: at once, no swelling taken place, and in a. few minutes it is difficult to find again where one has been stung. All caae~hardening in superficial, as its namelmplles. The best method of case- hardenlng is packing the article to be twisted in a tight box of iron, with grnuud bane, pruasiata of potash, and charcrml. and heat- ing for several hours to a. red heat; than plunge into water. Half a pint of boiling water poured upon a quarter of an ounce of quasula-chipa and sweetened with sugar or treacle will destroy flies, and is perfectly harmless to human be- ings or animals. Paraffin-oil will soften boots and shoe: that have been hardened by water, and will render them pliahle. No explanation is here attempted of the apparition that the three men saw in the mill. hIany minds can admit nothing but What can be explained and demonstrated. To such, as I can do neither, my story must appear perfectly idle. I have contented myself to relate tlte facts as they are said by some of the parties concerned to have occurred, and Ishall leave the task of ac- counting for them to thee who are more learned than myself in the lore of the “ Night side of Nature: So Millhollow was suffered to crumble silently into dust, its evil repute forever clinging to its dismantled and storm-worn abodea. One fzsmily afzér another moved away to other places, which were rapidly springing into existence all_tt}r_ough tEe country. Years pas-m d away and its owner, Samp- son’s widow, gave no sign of her existence. No one ever found a satisfactory clew as to Where she had gone, or as to her relation with the dead Redlaw. When the eGeuts just described became general y known in Mlllhollow, the mill loomed up a terror to everybody. No one could be induced to enter its precincts even in the daytime. No one wanted to see the ghost of the murdered miller' and the eer- zamty of its near proximity (no one doubt- ed thefact when the story was told with oircumstwthlity) made all the people in the settlement uneasy. Mr» Brooke and his Liamin were the hat to leave, and after his departure Millhollow was completely deserted save by the bats and its reputed ghostly tenants, from that time to the present. Suddenly flinging his torn arms apart, he feebly sci-ova to spring off the stretcher, the while glaring wildly at; something that seemed to terrify M'm. Ha was so weak, however, that the detective and Mr. Brooke had no difficulty in holding the sufl'ertr in his place. In a moment a. terrible shudder passed over his frame, hisihead fell back, the lips gasping, “ Ohit’s come !â€" Help I Help I” Bit no niortal help was ofany avafil to the man known to the detective as Redlaw, as, with the suppressed cry, his spirit laid down its_¢_aart_h}y burden forevermore. The following day the dead body was con- signed to its last: resting place in a. small churchyard on the London Road. The sim- ple settlers, deeply as they ablworred his crime, never dreamed of denying his remains this law privilege. But no stone or other monumentdesignates whn re they lie buried. And now the party rapidly approached the verge of the clearing. Strange to say, the closer they approached it the wnree be- came Redlaw’a mental condition. \Vhether the fact was owing to increased delirium caused by his wounds becoming inflamed, or whether it was owing to some inward per- ception that he was approaching the scene of his recent crime, his bearers could not say. But it was elect, let the cause be as- cribed to What it may, that the culmination of Radlaw’s troubles was reached just as the houses of the settlement came into viewl at the threshold of the swamp. This time the delirious outburst ended in a prolonged shriek of agony inexpressibly pitiful, because it was so muflled by weak- ness. look 1 its right here! Oh ! oh lobâ€"Seared with red hot irons ! ” SGIENTIFIC AND USEFUL. R. W. DOUGLAS. Ayoung man who had been away from his native place for many yams, durmg which time he had grown from a. bay to a man, went back to mak' a visit not long since, and was hurp lead at; hi-x I'ziends all avyingk‘q wouidn t have known you” But one 1mm knew him, and dizin't expr: aw any antnnibhmeut They rung man said. “You nreuba fix-at one L nave )uund who knew me." “Know you,” said the old. friend, “I would know you if I. found you in my 8011p. " The y<u1g man thought a. moment, and re- marked. “That’s the kin'l of cockroach I am, an ?" “Oh dear I” exclaimed Mrs, E, after vainly endeavorlng to pour hot water out of the empty teakettle, “how did I foxgct to fill it, I wonder I I’m getting to be a perfect simpleton. I Wish I did have a little com- mon sense.” “But, my dew," interrupted Fogg. “suppo'e you had. Do you think you’d know What to do with it; '3" “Do with it ‘3” echoed Mrs. F. , “many things. 1 might want to be married again, you know, and. it might save me from making a fool of myself a second time. ” l Johnston, though promptly acquitted, left ‘ the city a. broken hearted man, and, return ing to Tennessee, took up again the burden of life in his duties as pension agent. While there, he found himself harrassed by the constant attacks of the man who had ruined his home and happinesn, who, not content with this, was new deliberately maligning the character of the dead wife, as» erting as a climax to all his course that the original crime was committed only at the instance and urgent sulicitatinn of the woman no dead. This last assertioa was more than Johnston, in his excited cuwditlon, could hear, and arming himself. with a shot gun, he started in search of the saducnr and tra- ducer, and finding him, blew his brains out; The people of the town where the tragedy Occurred welcomed Johnston with shouts of approval, and placing him upon the shoul- ders of excit¢ d men carried‘hi r. in a triumph- al manner to the Court House, ofl'ering ten fold the sums required for his bond, and threatening to tear down the jail should he be for amoment imprisoned. When the trial was had he was triumphantly acquitted the jury scarcely leaving the box before a verdict in his favor was rendered. This wax 9he beginnirg of the end. J: hu- aton, who had struggled for months against the dread destroyer, praying only to live that his act might be senctioned by the law, Funk rapidly from that time, week by week, month by month, welcoming the death which should place him beside her whom he loved to the last. “Have you any occupation? Do you do any work ?" the magistrate asked the prin- oner, who was charged with vagrancy. “Yea, your honor, I am an actor" “Ah, well, then, you don’t work, you play.” Ah, yes, your honor; you only see me on the stage. You should see me when I’m trying to collect my salary." The magiatrate en~ tax-ed “day laborer” against: the prisoner’s name, and gave him an honorable discharge. He then left her, promising to return on the following morning and complete in legal form the agreement which he had outlined. The next morning came, but with it the an- nouncement that she was deadâ€"dead by her own hand. She had dressed herself in purest white, placed his picture upon the mantel so that her last look should fall upon it, laid herself upon a bed, arranged her clothing with the utmost care, and shot her- self through the heart. Johnston’s first thought, on hearing of her suicide, was as to the best manner in which he could pre- vent the facts from becoming knowu He decided immediately to protect her memory at all cost, and announced as the cause of her suicide, insanity. The theory was gen~ enlly accepted, for no suspicion of the ter- rihle truth had yet come to the minds of any citizens or friends of the family. The inâ€" dications were favorable to the success of his plans, but some of his political enemies induced his wife’s father to believe that she had been murdered by her husband. This startling suspicion spread through the com- munity, creating in1ense feeling and excito- ment, yet in the midst of it all the husband persistently remained silent, refusing to give any explanation of the few suspicious cir- cumstanccs which had come to the surface, preferring to even live and die under the suspicion of wife murder. rather than tell the facts of her shame. The father, how- ever, persieted in hie grout-(Hana nnnpioion, and bringing the case into court, cnnpelled him to prO‘uce the correspond(nce which had passed between them, and thus the ter- rible story became known. T. Johnston’s Death After his Wlfc’s Sul- clde and the Murder of her Belrayer. The death of E. T. Johnston of Indiana- polis revives the story of his strange and painful history, a history which exemplifies the adage that truth is sometimes strange:- that fiction. He is the man whom Senator Voorhees successfully defended at Greenville. Tenn., a few months ago on a charge oi murder, the details of the case, Mr. Voor- hoes says, being the strangest he had ever known. Johnston was a prominent lawyer and politician, with a wife who was a member of one of the best families of that city. His hexlth failing. he procured an appointment as Pension Agent in Tennesee, taking with him his Wife and son. During his stay there his wife fell a vimim to a seducer, a man named Henry, who had left his family in New York and settled in Ten- nessee as agent for some mine owners. John- son believed to the day of his death that it was through some mesmeric power that this man obtained the influence which he did over his victim. After the occurrence, and before Johnston became aware of the full state of the facts, the wife returned to In» dianapolis and during her stay there, while the husband was still at his post of duty in the South, she confessed her crime ina series of letters. Stunned by the terrible revela- tion and wavering as to his proper course, Johnston Went there from Tennessee, and after consulting with one friend, their pas~ tor, held an interview with her. In this interview he told her that while he could not so far forget her wrong as to then take her again to his arms as his wife, he was yet so much devoted to her and hers that no word of intimation of the terrible truth should ever escape his lips ; that he would con- tinue to support and care for her in every particular, making her even a larger allow- ance for maintenance than before, and doing all that he could to render her; comfort. able. Whether he could ever do more than this, by accepting her again in the nearest and dearest relations of life, he could not than tell. FOLLOWING HIS [Alf]! WIFE. Solicitor, and elderly linedlct consulting him as to certain matmra in connection with his (E. B’s) approaching marriage with young brideâ€"JG 13.; “Now, then, regwroiug the marriage settlement; how much should you my I ought to settle upon the lamy ?" Soliumor (blandly) â€"“We\l. ou know, as you renlly want my opinion, {should say, setch upon her as much money aaym have to dmpose of; y>u see,;her szcmd husband may not, perhaps, have a» dollar." He was in a sober mood, a. state to which he had of late been a stranger, and th eold love yearnings toward his patient and long suffering winâ€" were slowly returning. “My dear,” he said, as though half ashamed of making the confession, “1 don’t like pul- ling yer around by the hair of yer head this mornin’. I don’t know wot’s a comin’ over me.” His favorite child’s face was fairly radiant, and as the happy light shone in her eyes, the little 5-year old said 2 “Oh, ma. ain't pa. getting good?" Judge (to negro woman who had been num- moned as a Witneis)~“ls this man your huabmld ?" Womanâ€"“He’s my atop-hus- ban’." Judge-â€"~"VVlm.r Y" Womanâ€"“I my: dat do gennerman i-4 my step-hunban’." J udgeâ€"“How do you make that .7” Woman â€"“VVall, nah, yer see dat jen’ ’bout de time my inst husban’ wuz buried, dis gennerman come er stoppln’ er long an' I married him.’ ’ “Well, we are pennlless, or mighty near it,” he said, as he leached home and threw the evening paper to his wife. “Whâ€" what is is l" ‘ “The Mechanics Bank has hunted, and we had 334 000 on deposit there.” “But, Richard,” she said, after glancing at the article, “the president says he hopes to. pay all depositors in full.” “And didn’t 1 any the same to my creditors When I failed in the grocery business, and did a single one of them receive five cents on the dollar ‘2’ he howled‘ “Don’t be a. fool, my dear,” remnnetmted a husband to his wife, who was letting her jaw swing loose In the breeze. “I won’t, Mr. Jenkins, I won’t" aha answered ; " peo- ple wouldn't know us apart if I did." He went right down town Ayoung mothsr, traveling with her in- fant child, writes the following letter to her hunhmd at home: “ We are doing first- rahe and enjuying ours lvos very muc‘x. We are in fine health. The boy can crawl about on all fours. Hoping that the same can be said of you, I remain, eta, Fanny,” “ What is it, my friend,” cri‘d Judge Pittman, the temperance lecturer, gazing ferociounly around him, " what is that causes 11 en m d: sen: Ihe firesi 10, break up humus, and bring endless misery to all the hum“) m'ce ?" “ Skating rinks,” responded a. small boy in the comer. I; is always safe for a aouiety girl to be asked to play on the guitar in company. By the time she has mhown her hmdsome arm “(-0 good advantage in tuning it, the E string will break, and then she can excuse hersulf without profanity and ask some one 1.0 p} y on the piano. Tailorâ€"â€"“ Married or unmarried ‘2” Cu!- bo.nu‘-â€"“ Msrrwu.” Inns“ \vu unwell-â€" “ ()ne packet concealed in lining of vast." Customer ~“Eh? What's that ‘2” Tailor (explaining)“‘ To hide your change, you Know, at night. I’m married myself.” “ Vesuvius is again in astute of eruption,” read a boy to his grandmother, who was in- terested in Canadian matters. “ Well, I dechre to goodness,” she answered, “ that’s what comes, of being so foolish and not get- ting vaccinatzed.” M manner (with much show of indignation): “ I have 031101 you three times. I am very much annoyed.” Cmrlle (who is fond of Bible storiea): “ Well I the Lord called Samuel thxee times and he didn’t get mad about it, did he T” Teacherâ€"“ Now, Susie, cu may read! the next verse.” Susieâ€"“ Gist thy bread upon the waters." Teacherâ€"“sth, why should we cast our bread upon the waters 1’” Susieâ€"“ To feed the fish, ma’am.” An exchange says: “A young lady writes to inquire how long a. gentleman should be acquainted with her before she allows him to kiss hu‘. Long enough for the fsther and big brother to have gone to L-) I! " Hat: George )et hinted that he is fond of you ?" asked the girl’s mother. “ No," she replied, thoughtfully, “ and I doubt if he ever will. He complained last night that his coma pained him, and it was not ten o’clock. ” Young mother (displaying the baby)â€" “Isn’t aheadear liztlu thing, Mr. Pod- snxp 1’ Podsnapflather of a large family) â€"“ Yes, they’re very exgenaive. I’ve got six of ’em.” “Say, sis, what are you 3.11 dressed up for ‘3" “ I’m going to be bapt zad to-day." “ Are you going to take ether ‘3” “ Have you ever been aea‘slck I” naked 3 young man of his big best girl. “ No, but I came mighty near it: once." “ How was that ?" “ I saw two men kissing each other. Ugh 1“ Each inhabitant of mitay Engfand can: sumes ten pounds of chesse per annum. This is the average for landamen. We are not informed how much is eaten by skippers A soft; answer turneth away wrath. but a tough anser maketh the boarding-house to rage like the measles in a country school j house. Master Georgie (allowed for the first time to see his two little sisters, with a vivid recollection of the fate of the kittens) â€"" Which will ma keep? I say that one. ’ It is said that cows only live fifteen years, but you can never get people who r alde at boardinghouaea to believe it. “ \Vhat’sa croquette, father ‘3” “ Well, at our boarding house, John: y, it's hash under a new name.” An lrnprrsfive witness at the police court â€"“Judge, you know me. I'm an homst, full-blooded Ivishman, and I’m the husband of twelve children." Some men are like eggs. You can't tell whether they are good or bad until they are broke. “A miss is as good as a mile,” and a deal better. You can’t miss a mile. People we must put up withâ€"hotelkeepâ€" ers and pawnbrokers. Woman was made after man, and she has been aft; r him ever since. Pink and blonde babies continue to be fashionable. Never suppress an orator. A cackling goose saved Rome. MERRY RIPPLES. flue-9'

Powered by / Alimenté par VITA Toolkit
Privacy Policy