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And they went. Down the hillside and along It ; over fallen lumber, through brush and brake, In the face of the leaden hail which dropped many a poor fellow from the rsnhs as they thundered on ; pressing on the rifle-pits which had stung them so long, hend-to-hand at last, sheir beyonets " for- ward flung.” they met the dusky enemy en equal terms, end be melted away before their steel, as darkness melts before the lanoes of the morning. Batoohe was won. The Indians and Half breeds were flesh: In every direction, and the troops camped that night In the stronghold of the foe. The rebellion was virtually extinguished. I should like space to tell of many incidents of the fight, which, though small compared with meal battle, was in many respects as silent an encounter us any recorded in intcry. You will not deny me room to mention the bravery of your countryman, Captain Howard, of the Winchester Arms 00., who was in command of the Gatling. Ceneda owee him more than I understand Dhe has yet paid, but I am quite sure that the obligation will be acknowledged in some suitable manner, if it has not already been. So much for the euncoee of the mom body of the expedition The other portion of the Noth-west force bed also come in contact with the enemy at different points. 001. Otter, it will be remembered, was sent to relieve Bittloford. and Col Strange to per- form a. likecflice for Edmonton and Fort Saskatchewan, The former left the rail- way at Swift Current with tome eight hundred men. and, cavering the intervening one hundred and ninety miles in five days, reached Bettieiord to find the people safe within the peliaedea of the fort. but the place itself a some of ruin and desolation. Hie coming wall he‘yed withjuy by the six hundred Iran, wjmen. and children who, M I have Itld, were hourly i'i expectation of bei g nttenred by the Indians and Half‘ breed». under he celebrated warrior Pound- meker. The night before Otter’s arrival the red fiends had looted not only the village itself, but the whole country-aide, burning and destroying every thing they could not omy army Col. Otter deter- mined to t. ec‘a [the red skins & lesson, and shortly after his arrival led a force of three hundred men to attack Poundmaker at a int some thirty miles from Battlefnrd. hey more than accomplished their object, and aftere fierce conflict, attended with considerable loss, they euccedod in crippl- ing Poundmeker's commend so seriously that be we»; unable to effect a junction with Riel at Betoche, which was evidently the programme. The suprâ€"eme moment had arrived and he saw it. “ Lat them go,” he said; “ that charge means death or victory I Let them go J” > ‘ But the hour was come. The forenoon was devoted to the usual duel at long range, and at noon the men had a hasty dinner in the trenches. It was then made known to the regimental cflicers that the general wished to press the enemy, and that every discreet efl'ort was to be used 10 that end. The lines are extended and the word is “ Forward 1” It had long been waited for, and with a wild cheer the little army threw aside, for the first time. the grasp of the general’s restraining hand, and passed in s moment beyond his control. The Uanadian Gampaign. I'AB"! III. Having thus felt the enemy, and given his raw troops their “baptism of fire,” Gen. Middleton resolved to await suppper before making a further advance. There were the wounded to take care of and send to the rear, causing a. further deple- tion of the small force; there were many preparations to be made, and there was the steamer with the Gatling gun, forage, pro- visions, and troops to wait for. Very un» fortunately the hon was delayed many dsys beyond the time she should have ar‘ rived. The water was low in the river, and much valuable time was consumed in poling ever the numerous sand-bars which obstructed her way. Almost two weeks psed before the welcome sound of her whistle was at last heard by the impatient troops. At once the advance to Botoohe Was ordered, andthe camp was struck on the 7th of May. The total strength was now nine hundred men, from which number, if we deduct those in charge of the Wound- The fourth day was destined to prove that the spirit which has nerved the heart! and steeled the sinews of British soldiers on many a well-fought field was with our young Canadian troops at Brtoche. Tues- day, April 12, was the fourth day of its in- vestiture, and by some sort of sympathetic necromanoy the feeling had spread among the men that before the sun went down they would test the mettle of the foe. This determination was evident to the eye of the experienced commander by many in- dubitableslgns. There were gleaming eyes and sternly set jaws; a closer clutch of rifle and swerdhilt; belts more tightly drawn, and a more soldierly stride as the bugles sounded the advance, and it is safe to say that it was vith e. certain amount of trepidation the gallant old soldier lod forth his young followers on that memorable morning. The Half-breeds had proved they were a foe net to be lightly estimated. Pent in their almost nnaesailable “ rat- holes," the task of dislodglng them would be one of great difficulty and danger, and the prudent efiicer might well be pardoned if he hesitated to send inexperienced troops on such a perilous duty. ed, the ambulance corps, and other non~ fighters, the total available fighting force would perhaps not exceed six hundred men. The rebels had made most complete and skillful preparations. They had chosen their position so well that, while they commanded the approaches from every di» reotion, they themselves were almost ab- solutely safe from the bullets and shell of the loyal troops. R'fla pits extended in echelon along the hill-sides for more than two miles, so ingeniously contrived that their occupants might bid defiance to ten times their number, except at the very hayonet’s oint. For three days a spirited fire from eld-gun, rifle, and Gatling was rained upon them with small effect. The men were becoming furious at being thus held at arm's-length, and murmurin gs were beginning to be heard among them. The simple truth was that Gen. Middleton shared the universal opinion of the regular army, that volunteers were not to be de- pended upon at close quarters. “ Would to heaven that my brave lads were regulars i" said he. “ I should make short work of it.” (Sitar then returned to Battleford, this " Take the case of a wagon show that has to travel thirty miles after a night's perform- ance to get to the next town, where a street procession is to be made in the forenoon. The workmen, canvasmen, and the like have to take breakfast at 11 o’clock at night, Then they get no meal till dinner, after the procession, say at noon. Wherever they are the work must be attended to first, and eating is a second consideration. With the performers, gymnasts, riders, clowns and the like it is not so bad. They get better food and better pay. As a rule they live on the best food there is to be had where they hap‘ pen to be, and they take e great deal of it. Most of them are great beef esters, and are not very particular whether the meat is hot or cold, so long as it is good and plenty They are very particular, however, about cleanliness. I have seen twenty or thirty of them get up and leave the table because the tablecloth was dirty ; and when they want a meal they want it, and whl haye it: I have often men them leave a hotel where they would have to wait fifteen min~ utes for a. dinner that was paid for, and go to nreataurant where they would have to buy another. They won’t eat unless they are hungry ; but they are always hungry nth r anighfi’a performance, and theyiwill not go to bad without a hearty Happens They say they can’t sleep if they are empty. Mr. James M. Nixon, who knows all about a circus, says : “there are no people excepting piainsmenâ€"the shirmishers over the wild country of the Westâ€"who live as herds. life as circus employes, both perfor- mers and workingmen. Their life is not as hard now, it is true, as it was some years ago, excepting with the small concerns. They are the 'wagon shows’ that travel through the small towns. But even with the big concerns that travel by train it is hard enough now. "One thing that is peculiar about them is that they do not take medicine, and they are remarkably healthy. When they are out of aorta they c'iet themselves, each one according to his own ideee, but I don’t think I ever saw $50 worth of medicine around a circus ini all the yearn I have been in the I‘neineae. Yes they drink. Not to excels, but nearly all of them drink when they feel like it. They never drink, however, before performing. They are very careful of them- selvee. They have to be or they would not last long. “ As a matter of course, with their irregq- lnr habits, they are in a certain sense, ex- travagant. Their extravagance, however, is mainly in the 11110 of eating. Experience teaches them very soon, if their own sense, does not at first, that they must fake the very best possible care of themselves physi- callv, and that good-eating is a primary con- sideration.” There has been in late years a vent 1m. [movement in all departnwnts of the travel- ing circus» and in nothing has this been more observable, to those in the businenn, than in the provisions made for the health and com- fort of the employee. A good. chief cook with a circus will get as good a salary as a. first class perlormer, and has to earn it. 0 me rhould seek for when he happiness cm dam-as Io: one's Self. being hi: only engagement. Another red- Ikin wee on the wnr-peIhâ€"the biggest rel- es] of them all, Big Beerâ€"with a following of some four or five hundred Indiana and Half-Breeds, and a number of captives taken at the massacre of Frog-Luke, several of them women and children. Col. Strange, on his way down the river, had fallen in with and tried to force an engagement, but, owing to the nature of the ground, was unable to get near_ him. llow They Bat am} 115. Hard lives They At the close of J uly, after a campaign of some iour months, the “ boys ” came home Sunbrowned, ragged, and camp- stained, they marched back to their various quarters amid the acclamations of their friends, defied the scarlet and rifle-green, and in a week were peaceable citizens once more. And so the Northwest rebellion collapsed. That it might have proveda much more seriom matter for the Dominion may easily be conceived. 0119 or two signal reverses and the probabilitie: were that the whole savage hordes of Indians would have donned their war-paint with deplorable consequences. And had the authorities of the United States been less friendly than thry were, the Indians and Half-breeds of Montana might have been let loose over our southern border, which would have given rise to complications of the most serious character. Canadians feel that to the vigilance and good-will of American frontier soldiers they owe their preservation from such a calamity as this would have been. Is it too much to hope that whatever differences may have existed in the pact between two peoples bound to each other by a common ancestry and ties of kindred blood, the citizens of the United States and Canada may, for all the future, be enabled to preserve like friendly relations with each other? Though our paths may seem divergent, our destinies and our hopes are oneâ€"our mutual object the character and advancement of the people, the preservation of liberty, and the spread of Christ‘s kingdomâ€"Our Youth. Gen. Middleton’s force, now set free at Bntoohe, joined Col. Otter st Bst‘bleford and immediately set eff in pursuit of Blg Beer, the last remaining enemy, Pound- maker and Riel both having surrendered themselves. They chased him for days, and were at last brought to a halt on the edge of animpenetrabie muskeg, where no one except an Indian could hope to find a foot- ing. Here Big Bear had left his émpedi- mama, consisting of buck-boards, carts, hen can, etc ,_ and be and his followers, on their light, wide-hoofed Indian ponies, had plunged into the muskeg, where no wh te troops could follow. The hunt was up. Irritated beyond measure that the villain who had instigated the massacre of priests and peaeable settlers at Frog Lake should thus slip through his fingers, and unwilling to relax his efiorts while a hope remained of rescuing the prisoners from the bonds of the savage, Gen. Middleton was, for the first time, at a less what to do. Fortunately, the question was solved for him in an unexpected manner by the escape of the captives, winked at, no doubt, by Big Bear, who, hearing of Riel’s defeat and Poundmaker‘s surrender, saw that the game was up. Shortly after- ward he himself came in, and the war was over. The final scenes were witnessed a few weeks since, when R'el and some eight or ten Indian maranders paid the penalty of their crimes on the scsfield. CIRCUS EMPLOYEES. “Stay not until you are told of opportuni- ties to do good ;lnquire after them The spirit of strife and contention Is not; from Above, but is inspired by the gods of thin world. W It in hnly-bry-iahout that thought can be made healthy ; and it is only by thought that labor can be made happy. Taa groundwork nf 311nm.qu character in veracity, or the habit of truthfulness. That virtue lies at; the foundation of every- thing said. A fool mayVhave his coat embroidered with gold, but It in I fool's cont still. We“ onfry all our neighbors' crimes in sight and all our own over our shoulder. A handsâ€"ome woman plea-es the eye, but a. good woman charm! the heart. bnce looaen the latch-strings of hsnor, the door to crime and foHy swings easily. To enjoy the pleasure of wealth thou uhouldat first experlenoe the fatigue 01 La.- bor. Habit is a cable. \Ve weave a thread of It each day, and it: becomes so strong we cannot break it. She who will mason is a bigot ; she who cannot is a fool, and she who dares not is a slave. Cheerinlness is an excellent wearing qual- ity. It has been called the bright: weather of the heart. Newer stoop to do or say anything that Is beneath the dignity of the character to which you} graph-“r; .. . n ,,,I,L .___ L. It In selfish to dwell on our griefs, as though some strange thing had happened to us, as though they were too important to be relieved. ox it wexe & virtue to sink under them. That bereavement seems rather sanctified which sudden: the heart not over much, and soften! without withering it. Youthful rashneu skips like a hive ov er the meshes of good counsel. Lady Magdalen Yorke, when «he was married to Sir Richard. Bulkeley in Engfiand the other day, was clmi in a. gown of whita satin trimmed with B'van’sdawn. A guest wore a suit of peacock-blue plumb ; another guest, a. handsome girl. had on dark fan-a and a. red bonnet. Still another had such a pair of diamonds that one'a eyes were too much dvzzied to hell precisely What ahe did wear. Dumpliuga.â€"Sorape two ounces of fine beef met very thin, mix it with (our ounces of flmr, 9. pinch of salt. and water to make a stiff paste. Flour your hauls and roll the paste Into balls about the aims of a florin ; have ready a etew‘pau hail filled with boiling water [slightly lelted ; drop in the dump- linga and let them boil fast for twenty min- utes. Take them up with the fish slice and put them on the dish with the narrow. If preferred, these dumplings may be made of drippiugs or butter in the proportion of two ounces of the fat to five ounces of fiuur. A small pinch of sage or pepper can, if liked, be used “flavoring for the dumplings. Beef Pie, Potato Oust. ~\ Cold roast or corned beef, seuouing, mashed potatoes, butter, gravy. Mince the cold meat, sea- son, and spread A layer in the bottom of a. deep pudding dish ; then a layer of mashed potato, stuck over with bits 01 butter, then meet again, and so on until the dish is full ; pour over the gravy which has had some butter added to it. also some tomato cotsup if the flavor is liked, and cover all with a. thick crust mode as follows : One large cup- iul of mashed polishes, two tablespoonfuls of melted butter, one egg, two cups of milk, enough flour to roll it out. Beat all the in- gredients well together until very light, and add flour, roll out, cover the uddlng‘ dish with this crust, cutting a s1 tin the mldd‘e ; brush over with beaten white of egg Ed bake. Few will contest the paletablenen of well-prepared buckwheat cakel, but not many know that they will keep a men from hunger longer on a cold winter’l dny than moat other kindl of food. They may not be eeelly or quickly digestible ; but this fact is rather en advantage to 5 men working hard in cold weather and who wishes to have hie breakfast stand by him as long In po-nlble. .. . u I ,, 1,,A3 ___'I Buttermilk Muffinsâ€"One quart of butter- milk, kw: eggs, one teaspooniul of soda.-one teaspooniul of salt, Ind flour to make I. good batter. Beat the egga wall and stir Into the milk, than the flour and salt, and lutly the soda; bake at once In a quick oven. ,- ...... Planter of pan-is and cornmeal mixed and placed on boards where rats infest will de- stroy them. Perched oofl’ee broken up and smoked in a pipe in an immediate relief for negnlgia. . .. .- u a, ,,,L Au enthusiastic housekeeper sends this : D‘shea should be washed In water much better thm one can bear to put the hand in. They should first be rlnled to remove most of the ntioklnele and greasineee. After Welhing they Ihould be wiped, etch one an loan a.- weahed. Tue praotloe of washin quite a number, piling them in a pan, an after pouring warm water over them begin- ning to wipe them, is altogether reprehen- sible. The wash water should be hot, and made In lay with a soap shaker Use a. dish mop and wipe immediately. The writer need only put her hand upon I. piece of chine. to tell whether or not it was wuhed in thisâ€"«the only rlght way. Dishwuhlug is a. fine art, not a drudgery. In the south meat and other food is much more liable to atteck of innate than at the north. A correspondent of the Southern Cultivator places hem and shoulder. in flour Becks boiled in unllecked limeâ€"four quarts anflioing for twenty-five seeks. When the necks are dry the hams, having previously been smoked with hickory wood. are placed in boiling water for half a minute, then dried in the sun, then tied snugly in the sacks, the letter turned wrong side out so as to bring the lime surf-ca next to the heme. This recipe in well worth trying. IJme is repulsive to insects, and the immer- sion in boiling water would lurely kill all eggs end lar‘ :9 should the heme have been previoully stocked. Very likely the leaks would protect without the lime, thou h the letter would tend to make unuranoe oubly GOLDEN THOUGHTS. HOUSEHOLD. 0110101! Bncipns RIMES. Andrew Carnegie, the Pittsburg multi- millionaire, bvgam his career as a messenger boy in the office of the late Col. Thomas A 80 fit, and afterwards becmne an operator in the telegraph department of the Pen» nay'wzmia road. He was 1m expert sound rexder. and one day when on a locomotive new the telegraph office at Alt-oona he heard the news come that a train had split in two on 9. sharp grade a few miles away, and that part of the train was coming along like lightning. Youog Carnegie told the angin- eer of a. passenger train which was waiting on the break which the fugitive trairfiwonld over. There WW3 jun; time encugh t9 awltoh off the passenger erain before the runm 3} came rattling on. Wherever high wooden bridges are neces- sary (and there is one perhaps which is the highelt in the werld), the lowest supports rest on masonry of the strongest kind. Cob- web-like as these wooden structures appear from a distance, it rs wonderful whet strength they possess, and how extremely rare accidents have been upon them, univer- sal al is their use all over the American can tiuent. The trains go over them at a lei- surely paee, and if it were not for the cour- tesy of the conductors, who usually call the pusergers to the attention of the outlook, the traveller would not know that he was proceeding along a narrow way just wide enough to hold a pair of rails forming the single tack, and with an abyss below him of two or three hundred feet. In the snug cars the transit in no more trying than is the walk across London Bridge. But if a man unaccustomed to heigh‘ tries to walk across as an experiment, the sensation in not so pleasant. The “ties” or sleepers are only a short distance apart, but between each yawns the gulf below, and many a. person finds it advisable to halt and gsther nerve as he goes on his way stepping from timber to timber, for his eye get: confused in the efiart to look through the intervals and to the next resting-place for the foot. Perhaps the shortest sighted are the least inclined to gelddinees in making such an ef- fort. Mxmy 02’ o rurse laugh at the idea of such weaknemes. but the strongest in body often prove the weakest in head. Even today the wild theories about the red snow are not yet ended. Seeing that the young spores of the sigma moved inces- santly backward and forward in the water, the idea arose that they were animaloulau, and red snow only the lowest form of animal life. By degrees, however, it came to be an accepted fact that this voluntary motion does not belong ex-lusively to animal life, and the young spores of the lower plants, although they move freely about in the wa- ter, and are pientlfully provided with fine hair like threads like the real ‘nfueoria, still remain plants, and never turn into ani- mals, and thus the plant nature of the “snow blossom“ was finally settled. The red snow algaf uod on the Alps, Pyrenees, and Car- pathians, and also on the summits of the North American mountains as far down as California, is not, however, such a deter- mined enemy to heat as its having its home in the ice region would imply. In the arc- tic circle, as well as on our own mountains of perpetual snow, especially on Monte Rosa the red snow is seen in summer like a ligH; rose-colored film, which gradually deepens in color, particularly in the track of human footsteps. till at length it turns almost black. In this state, however, it is not a rotten mass, but consists principally of care- fully oapsuled “quiescent spores,” in which state these miooscropie atoms pass the Win- ter, bearing in this form the greatest ex- tremes of temperature. Some have been exposed to the dry heat of a hundred de- grees, and were found still to retain life- bearing properties, while others, again, were exposed with impunity to the greatest im- unity to the greatest cold knowu in science. his proves that the productive organs in a capsuled state can bear vast extremes of temperature without in jury ; a significant fact, in which lies the secret of the indes- tructibility of those germs which are recog- nized as prom'mers or so many diseases. Bridge! on the Canadian Pacific Railway. Some three weeks ago the daring but thoughtful wt of s. bur lar who stole a. sew- ing machine and a st l-heatad stove with which to keep warm was reported in the Chicago Times. The other day a fellow thief did something equally startling. J as- eph D. Menard, had a. coal office on Wabash avenue and a large English mastifl‘ to guard the place. One night last November bur- glars broke into the office. Of course, the dog raised a. great row at first, but being of a most amiable disposition he concluded to make friends with the robbers. After that pleasant recognition the burglars commenc- ed to search the place for valuables. They first broke open the money drawer, and took what cash there was in it. A q lantlty of clothes, consisting of an overcoat and two suits, was made up in a bundle, and was to be part of the plunder. Further search fail- ed to reveal anything more. and they were ahout togo, when one of the party said: “\Vhat’s the matter with taking the dog, too 1" The dog was still friendly, and al- lowed the men to tie a rope around his neck and lead him away. The next morning when Mr. Menard reached his office he found all his clothes, money and the faith- ful watchdog missing. He reported the mat- ter and said if they could only recover the dog he would let clothes. money and bur- lars go. The police, however, failed to d the thieves or any of the property. A month ago Mr Menard saw the do at the house of William P. Bax-dick, on welfth street, near Canal. He went into the place and demanded the animal. But the new owner refused to let him go and claimed that he had bought him from a man for 325 Mr Menard tried to lake him by force, but in the row that followed he was worsted. After thinking the matter over for several days he went to Justice J. C. White and sued the man for the dog or the value of the animal. A judgment was entered against Burdick for $100 He refuted to pay the judgment, and a conetable armed with the proper paper caught the man near the houae and escorted him to the jail, wh< re he is now confined. In the meantime the dog has been sent away and cannot be found. Mr, Menard says that if the dog is not giv- en up he will pay the man’s board for the next two years in the county jail rather than to let him out. lIe Stole the Watch Box. Red Snow. An inventor has seized upon the idea. that the efficiency of a fire-escape should not de~ pend upon the self~poeseesion of endangered persons, but should take advantage of this universal impulse to leap and use it in saving life. He constructs 9. portable escape, which is simply a. bed upon which the jumpers may alight without injury. His idea is that as soon as 9. fire is discovered the watchmen, policemen, or neighbor s, even before the nr~ rival of the firemen, may bring out their portable beds or cushions and place them under the windows of the burning building” And there can he no doubt that if some such device wus generally introduced and every neighborhood supplied with several of the cushion wagons, very quickly after the outâ€" break of a. fire the occupants of a burning house would find beneath the Windows something better than the burs pavement to jump upon. A vosuel was driven on tho beach at Lydd, in Kent. The anti was rolling furioully. eight poor fellows were crying for help. but not a boat could be got off to their assist- anoa. At length a gentleman came on the bmoh with hits Newfoundland dog He di- rected the Mtention of the animal to the vessel, and put & shoxt stick into his mouth. The intelligent and courageous fellow at once nndaratood his meaning, and sprang into the sea. and foughfi his way through the Wavea‘ He could not“ horvove', got close enough to the veasel to deliver that with which he was charged, but ti a crew joyfully made fast a. rope to another piece: of wood, and throw it towards him. He saw the Whole buaineaa in on instant ; he dropped him own piece and immeilatnly neized that w? ich had been coat to him, and {shuna with a. degree of strength and determination almost incrad~ ible, he dragged it through the surf and de- livered it to his master. A line of commun- ication was thus formed, and every man on. beard was reucued from h watery grave. mm; in; in; 55536;.“ “ Hello, Simpson, old boy ; how are you feeling this morning '3 I see you were fined twenty dollars yesterday for being drunk on the street, and fighting an Italian crossing- aweeper '1" “ Me! I never was drunk in my life, and I have been out of town for two week! ; just got back this morning.” “Well, here it in in the paper, anyhow, plain as day: ‘ Maren H. Simpson. grain dealer, of 814 Barclay Street.’ ” ‘ Le nme see the paper, \Vell, truth in deed in this world. The news- papera are lying more than ever I The mla~ arable liar of a reporter who wrote that l I told the judge my name was Thomu J ones. god that I llvegl Hannlbel, New J erleyn “ I see Edison, the inventor, is going to be married." “ Is he 1 Good 1 I'm glad of that." “ What interest have yen in it 2" “ We! , you see, I’ve been afraid he would invent some confounded electric oontrlvance by which a woman could tell just how long her husband had carried her letters in his pocket, or some foolish thlng of that sort. But, of course, if he’s going to be marriedâ€"n" Speaking of wives' wogus, it is mentioned that a happy couple agreed to bear equally the expenses of the family. One of the children fell illl and a diflerence arose as to which should buy medicine for the little one. Both held out firmly. The result was that the child, getting no medicine, was soon well. Because the baby in a little f’yeller in no sign he is a Chinaman. Woman in not much of a philosopher, but she la provarbially a clothes obnarvar. “ A mm never loses anything by polite: near." At all events, there are a great many men who never do and never intend to. “ I don‘t wonder that people talk of the good old time," said the president of a gas company. “ At one time it was dark for thrae days and three nights on a. stretch, in the land of Egypt. What a. big thing it would be for the gal companies if we could have something like that in those days I” Au artllt’u cherub is a. good deal like a boarding-house turkeyâ€"all held and wings. Er man what likes er mug jen’ oa’ae It in hard tor sing, dean know oz much erbout mulic 92 he do orbout Icl'noe. The railroad companies want to lay their track! with hardened sleepers. One of the Hamilton ministers says that his congrega- tion has material enough to let up a whole parallel road. A man with a. red nose applied to the theatrical manager for a maiden. " Where were you employed last ?" asked the mam» ger. “ I wal in the orchestra.” " What instrument did you blowâ€"the trombone '3" “ New, I blew out the kefisene lamps after the performance wan over.” The shortest route tea mm'l hem-l: is said to be through his stomach. In that case a. good cook book In the most reliable marriage-guide. There Is a man in Montreal [0 mean that when he in united to join in singing “ 01d Hundred,” churns cfl' " Ninety and Nine" instead. He says he has got to make one per cent” nnyway, thele hard times? Why doe: a donkey eat thistle: I Beouuue he is an m. A Toronto woman is keeping In a. book a. list of thingl she ought to purchase, but cannot afford to wear. She culls the book 1101' ought to-buy-ography. Young Wife: “ How do you like this dress, John! Idesigned it myself.” Old Husband: “ I was wondering whether it were the result of accidlnt or design ” “ Do you think Johnn la contracting bad habits at school 2" ash Mn. Caution of her husband. “ Nol dear, I don’t. I think he in expanding them,” was the reply. In a. ball-room. Mrs. Brazen-“ Ah, Dr. Pillsbn , I see you are lookin at my new dress. {ft In very low neck-d, know : but really, what do you think of it 2" “ Pneu- monla, madam, pheumonia !” Lady (to policeman) â€"“ Why aid you shoot that poor little dog 2 Was he disorder- ed lnintelleot and bsuide himself with violent mental excitement?" Policemanâ€"“No,mum, That dog was mad.” The oultom of klulng babies in being justly censured thele days. It In cowardly to kha the poor helplela things. We’d rather take somebody of our size. “ Pat, what time in It 2" "01 don’t know, Mike, but let'l guns at it, and thin, beget- ra, the man who come: furthelt ofi' can go out to the kitchen and 100k." A New Idea in Fire-Escapes. The Newfoundland Dog. PEBBLES.