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Dentistâ€"J‘ You don’twant me m tell you a story, do you Johnny ‘(The good book says we musn’L do that.” Johnny~“ “”ell, the good book says you must do to others as you‘d havs ’em do to you, and if I was a big man a-going to pull a. tooth for a. little boy that wanted me to say it Wouldn’t hurt much, I think I’d say it, doctor. That‘s What I think.” “ VV 11y, what hour 15 this to be coming to bed Mary '3" her mother cried out, as she tried to sneak past 'her door.“ Well, G‘eo1ge said ood night, ’ few hours ago, and then I sa1§‘goodn1gl1t.’ Then he told me he wouldn (2 let any woman have the last \1 ord and I wouldn’ t let 111m have the last wo1d, so we kept 1t up. ” “ Well, how did 1t (21111?” “ W 6 both s1mplysa1dgood- n1o111111g. ” Dr. Workum (wraLh)â€"-“ Where is the blooming Chump who put; up that last pre- scription;for»Mr._S_haker '!"_ wrong! ‘3 W ell, 1 g1 up quinine in those :5!ng of milk and that ague. ” N0\'iceâ€"â€"â€"“ Which ‘ vou call the catcher 'r’ C]1rnnicâ€"-“ That fc that. just called out ‘f( Noviceâ€"~“ Why, I séand that was the m; Uhronic~“ Some ; but; he’s really the ca the abuse of the ‘ root Jobnny~“ Dentist-4‘ a story, do ya we musn’L do Little Girlâ€"” I don’t like this boarding- house. There is never anything to eat. They always say it’s all gone~the nice (les- scrts I mean.” Nurse“‘ That’s because you eat at the : (conrl Lahle. I always get plenty.” “ {Jo yer? eat at the first table?” ' Oh, no, I eat with the cook and other ‘ v \ ,mta' am the third table." D‘rugaist (humility) “The head clerk, 51'1 ; he has gone to dinner I trust Lhere is nothing wrong. D12W01kum (11101:: \vraLhLâ€"“Nothmg “mug? Well I guess Why. the ass put up qn' nine 1n those (apsules by 111istake for sug'zu 0f Hulk and Shaker has got: rid of A gentleman was boasting than his par- rot would repeat anthing he told him. Fm‘ example, he told him several! times be. {me some friends to say “ Uncle,” but, the parrot. would nob repeat, it. In his anger he seized the bird, and, half-twisting his neck, said : ” Say ‘ uncie,’ vou beggar S" and threw him into the fowl pen, in which he had ten prize {owls Shortly afterward, thinking he had killed the parrrob, he went to the pen. To his surprise he saw nine of the fowls dead on the floor with their necks wrung and the parrot standing on the tenth, twisting her neck and screaming, “ Say ‘ uncle,’ you beggar, say uncle l” “ Strange ’said Mrs. Jones up the house, “how oldfas again.” The man who stops his paper because some- thing has appeared in its columns of which he does not approve, and does it with an air of regret that it is necessary to drive the publishers into bankruptcy. reminds us of the train dispatcher who requested an increase of salarv and threatened to quit if hedidn’tgetit. The superintendent replied to his request by relating a story : " \Vhen I was a yonngmnn," said he, “ I once did as you are doingâ€"I told the super- intendent of the mud What you have told me. He refused my demand andI quit : and, would you believe itâ€"tlmt darn road is running yet! “ Was your father a pirate '1" asked young Fitztop of the girl of his choice at a. clande- stine meeting, after the old sea. captain had urged his exit from the family mansion on the hill by the use of his pedal extremity. “ No, my darling," Was the reply. “ \Vliy do you ask?” - “ He seemed to me to be a gOod deal of a freebooter,” said theyuungmxm, reflectively. V“ What is 7awmn . D “ Whgv Mr I guess he 111 to, for he ca] Street to get And Mr. J 13': whhed, shopping Wit A w Did I have And Still the Road Went cn‘ All E1 Solving the Difficulty First, Second, Third. Merely an Inference. A Knowing Pwrrot, TITBITS. At Not That Kind. Johnny's I Go‘u p61 Tidmgs Willrit hurt much, doctor Simmons passed just now. and nght it was you he was talking )d out that he was going down A .Bad Break. \V( 1 Mrs. Jones. as she locked how old fashions come in facation. :1 lime on ODC =11 (- i in the paper that he be pretty hard up, I hing wrong and gave me then you cant ex- ling perfect in this Logic. w with a re. )ple her enlighwn her shed. he had much with his new llfl l ms moccasms! i more fer that, ad I’m workin’. ” :iven to call him tlmt‘ he catches all ny vacat-i at? 1 had deny that I heard }‘ Quart: avers do ones OI) >utl HE Medicine Hat contains, perhaps, 400 people. It has a. weekly newspaper, a neat little church, several good stores and public buildings, and an important station of the mounted 1 olice. It lies on the right bank of the South Saskatchewan. Many travel- lels climb the little knoll covered with graves behind the town to get a. View of the surrounding country. The graves are covered with stones to prevent wild animals from digging out the bodies. Wooden head boards, on which are painted the names of the dead, stand over the graves, most of which are surrounded by picket fences. Be. low the knoll extends the little village with the swift river beyond, which is navigable for nearly 800 miles from this point almost to Lake Winnipeg. Far away on every side A Talk with 0m- 01‘ the lads who Look After BVihlorrs In Canaan's Northwest‘ An American traveller in the Northwest Territories gives the following interesting account of 1ch mourned police and their " If a squad of the Camden mounted police were suddenly to appear on Broad- way in their gaudy uniforms they would make quite a. sensation. These strapping fellows are scattered all over the Canadian Northwest in barracks at the principal settlements. They number a thousand, are splendidly mounted, and are quite a feature in the life of the Northwest territories, Half a dozen of them may always be seen at the most important stations on the line of the Canadian Facific Railroad, where they form quite an attraction for tourists, until they cease to be a novelty. Their uniform is one of the gaudiest ever donned bya police force. On their heads they wear a black flat cap much like a. skull cap, with a, broad yellow border, and a yellow strap fastened to its sides and resting on their chins. Their jackets are a. bright red, with a. profusion of gilt buttons. and their trousers are black, with broad yellow side stripes. They always wear spurs and gener. ally a belt full of cartridges and make quite a striking appearance. “ ‘ Our life is not such a, very easy one,’ sainl one 0i them the other day. ‘ To be sure we do not drill much CXCept in the early part of our service, but we have agoorl deal of barrack duty to perform, And every little while we are sent on a hunt after horse thieves or other criminals or down south to the Indian reservations to settle some little trouble among the Indians. “ ’ Do you wear this uniform when you are I! Blooms Like the Flowers of Spring in ('umuln’s Ranch Country. At nearly all the stations on the‘Cmm- diam l’iicillc Rtilroad, through h‘lanitol)a., there are large glass jars over the station entrance Containing fine specimens of the various cereals raised in the country. One can see nowhere plumper wheatmr finer rye and oats, than the specimens he is able to inspect as he jumps from the train to take a. turn on the station platforms. Further west,another sort of exhibition is given at the stations. It is not necessary, through Manitoba, to have gardens along- sirle the railway track to convince the tra- veller of the remarkable productiveness of the soil. The great fields ofgrain along (he read are sufficient evidence that he is in a country of abounding harves‘s. But when he reaches tile western Assiniboin or Albertanvhere the country is (lryer,there are very few wheat fields to gaze at through thewindow,a.ndtheCanadian Pacific road has started a. number of gardens at the various stations. The garden at Medicine Hat is a. particularly fine example, and has been laid out and attended with especial care, because all passenger trains stop at Medicine Hat a half hour, and passengers have plenty of time to wander through the grounds just across the track from the station. city was tuj'efe for two days. there was not, on the day following the event, a single case in the police court. A different, state of affairs is found in the towns of our own Pacific coast. In Tacoma, for instance, with a population of about 40,000, there are ninety policemen, and the citizens seem to think they need every man of them L0 keep their town in order.” uals to justice IS likely tr cal and effective. Many at the end of their term are all m1], Well-develope specimens of manly healt of them like their way particularly proud of t] and of the fine animals [1 Americans are usually that the smaller Canarliz pence wl‘h so few polic for instance, with a pc 4",000 people, has only (3 They are rather remarkal ever, and every mam of Ll tall. They say the city ‘ they have no difficultyin and maintaining the pew a population of 20,000 Sc unis to justice is likely to prove so economi- cal and effective. Many of them i'e-enlist at the end of their term of Service. They are all tall, Well-developed fellows, and fine specimens of manly health and vigor. Most of them like their ray of living, and are particularly proud of their liorsemanship and of the fine animals provided for them. Americans are usually surprised to find that the smaller Canadian cities keep the peace \z'i‘h so few policemen. \Vinnipeg, for instance, will: a population of about 4",000 people, has only eighteen policemen. They are rather remarkable specimens, how- ever, and every man of them is over six feet tall. They say the city is very quiet, and they have no (lifficultyin guarding property and maintaining the peace. Victoria, with a population of 20,000 souls, has only thir- teen policemen, and Mayor Grant- said the other day, with considerable pride, that after a recent celebration in which the whole parueuka and of th Americ that the peace vi‘ for insta in black. Sometimes we or three weeks on this serv we take a week’s rations do not like to burden curse march with heavy h when pogsible rely for settlements which lie in the taking. As a. rule‘ we 2 of} Lhe mo they quitg “ The pay (if the Cmmd‘ is $30 a month and found for a period of fiVe years m 61‘ .ILie :come I) their f n5 bin ter ng as it is Um escrving H191 to justice is 1i Ld effective. l8 end of their .11 m1]. Well-d< :e wi "Oh, no,’ 11 1 a hunt. for nck. Some s longe‘ h was re settlement PPB “I'll”! FIE “AT.“ “\IHWZV. l‘( nbl THE MOKI'N an PQLICE, be The ey find it nee out or much 1 at any town L put us. on their of the Canadian vluchlle m tl‘ a. rule‘ we \inals, even e start of us they Lim hnd 1eplied. criminal ‘nt TEE-C 1n It even w crnmom \lisv the ved pay. ies are \‘o: “(‘9 als we ‘ we are ystem of mountec for many yems yet :e is enormous, ant Lied no other mean: and bringing crimi o prove so eounomi r track.’ \ mounted police They first enlist Mu] the Govern- \Vhen we are : dress entirely ~e gone for two a. Occasionally ountries, and, ssary to visit )r food, and if 19 tglegraph is flu ions to settle Indians. : when you are aoliceman was J for three Some of the y anxious to 1 this Change the m y have ese great ISE in to be accounted for. In one of these the ztuthor of the crime was removed to a lune.- tic asylum without being brought to trial. In unother the murderer committed suicide. In a third the accused was acquitted of the capital charge on the medicfil evidence adduced as to the cause of death. In the Chiswick ease of January 1 itwas ultimately established that the death was wholly un- connected with homicidal violence. And in the case of the Italian Pompeo. who was murdered by another Italian on February 13, the accused escaped to Italy, and the evi- dence of his guilt was remitted to the Italian Government in the usual way. The only capital crime unaccounted for. therefore, is that of the girl Amelia Jeffs, who was mur~ dered at \Vest Ham on January 31, and there the evidence against the author of the crime was deemed insufficient to justify his: arrest. In respect to this case it is only right to add popular suspicion did grave injustice to an innocent person. stretch the plains, but toward the northwest are a. line of buttes, perhaps 400 feet high, ‘ which vary the monotony oi the landscape with their grim, bare, and perpendicular fronts. Beyond the river are farms where some grain is raised, but the chief industry of this country is stock raising. An ocean of grass covers the prairies, and cattle ranches are multiplying. The company desires to prove that by meansof irrigation good crops may be raised. Its garden at the station, therefore, is Care- fully watered, and it, is as fine a garden as can he seen anywhere, except, on the Pacific coast itself. Cabbaées, potatoes, Indian corn. flowers in great profusion, and small trees are soon in a. very flourishing condi- tion. A number of apple trees are growing very well, and one of them fihis year is the proud possessor of a few little apples, which the people are watching with much solici- tude, in the hope that they may be able to barges!) their first apple crop this fall. ‘ The garden is a. nfost. pleasing spectacle to tourists, wearied, perhaps, by the unending prairie through which the train has been passing. It is not at ail unlikely that some day corisiderabie land in this; region will be irrigated by means of the streams that flow through it, and the success of the Medicine Hat garden seems to show that nothing but water is needed to produce abundant crops. cont1ibut018‘2,953.405 to the police fund (11. .1‘111g the year 'lhe eliminal returns for 1890 disclose a. most satisfactory record for the year. The felonies relating to property number 17,49] or 2,053 feweu than in 1889 were a marked improvement on those for the preceding year. There Were fewer ofl'ences of this kind conunitted in the metropolis during 1890 than in any year Since 1875. But in 1-375 the felonies of this class were, relative- ly to the population, in the ratio of 4.182 per thouqand, whereas last year the pro- portion per thousand was only 3,002, orless than half the number considered normal tn enty years ago. It; thus appears that there was-greater s~cn ritxfonpersons and property Henry C. Barlow, a. Chicago mail carrier, was arrested last week for the wholesale stealing of letters. One large firm claims the robberies have almost paralyzed their business. A nervousvpassenger ballgcrcd the guard on a train for the North at every station as to whether she haul reached her destination. In due course the town desired was arrived at, and she as usual, calledâ€"“ Guud ! Guard! 1, say, guard, is this Aberdeen?” “ Yes’m, this is Aberdeen.” “ And do I really leave the train here?” “ Why, yes’m, yo“ ought to, unless you wish to take it. with you‘” And then she bounced out and slam- med the door. was grmuer snourityforpersons and property in the metropolis during 1890 than iuauy previous year included in the statistical returns. It should be remembered that in relation to police work, the difficulties of dealing with crime, as each decade addsa. million to the population of the metropolis, are miszrnentedin a. ratio for greater than that of the arithmetical increase. The facilities for the commission of crime. and the chances of immunity relied on by pro- fessional criminals. are very much E’I'eater in a population bordering on 6,000.000 than they were in 1975, when the population of London was only about 4,000,000. In ten of the sixteen murder cases recorded in which apprehensions were efleeted by the Metropo‘itan Police, convictions were obtained against the perpetrators of the crimes. In seven of these the prisoners were sentenced to death. and in the ether three the accused were found to be insane, and were ordered to be confined during Her Majesty’s pleasure. Six_murderefises remain l‘vomng nu- “ How do you manage to find your way, across the ocean ‘3” said a. lady to a. sea. cap- tain, “ \Vhy, by the compass ! The needle always points to the north." “ Yes, I know. But what if you wish t9 g9 sough ?” An 1mpress'1ve View of the Bu'tish metxopolis is annual report of the Com" which has just, been puhh's operations of that, Dcp 21111 1890. The authorized strl was as followa: 31 superi stables, total 15 one superintende gemxts and 445 ‘ these 4 superince sergeants, and~ 1 ploycd 9n special l.0\'D0.V l’flllll'l‘. Peace in IIH‘ \Vorhl‘s oi the magnitude of is presented in the mmissioner of police, hushed, covering the m‘tment for the year attength of the force mintendents, 853 in- It seemed as ifIN ew York was on fire in 1853. The thermometer ranged f1 om 92 to 97 degrees for five or six days During the wgeek 214 persons were killed In that city of sunstrcke. In France in 1718 many shops had to close. The theatres did not open their doors for three months. Not a drop of water fell during six momhs. In 1773 the thermometer rose to 118 degrees. The heat in several of the French prov- inces during the Summer of 1705 was equal to that of a. glass furnace. Meat could be prepared for the table merely by exposing it to the sun. Not a soul dare venture out between noon and 4 P. M. 1111800 Spain was visited by a. swelter- ing temperature that is described as fear- Seine ran ventureoout between noon and 4 P. M. 1111800 Spain was visited by a swelter- ing temperature that is described as fear- ful. Madrid and other cities were de-‘ serted and the streets silent. Laborers died in the fields, and the vines were scorched and blasted as if by a simonm. The year 1872 wasa. fearful one in New York. One hundred and fifty cases of sunstroke occurred on July 4th, of which seventy-two proved fatal. The principal thoroughfares were like fields of battle. Men fell by the score, and ambulances were in constant requisition. In 1778 the heat of Bologna was so great that numbers of people Were stifled. In July, 1793, the heat again became intoler- able. Vegetables were burned up and fruit dried on the trees. The furniture and wood- work in dwelling houses cracked and spilt and meat went bad in an hour. A disastrous hot wave swept through Edrope in June, 185]. The thermometer in A disastrous hot wave swept through Edl‘ope in June, 185]. The thermometer in Hyde park, London, indicated from 90 to 94 degrees in the shade. In the Champs des Max-s, during a review, soldiers by the score fell victims to sunstroke, and at Alder- slhot-, England, men dropped dead while at ( rill. In July, 1876 intense heat began to make its power felt throughout the Middle and Southern States. In Washington the heat was frightful. General Sherman declares that the car rails became so expanded by the action of the sun as to rise up in curved lines, drawing the bolts. In one instance the rails burst away from the bolts and lo} the track entirely. The familiar proverb, “ What is good for man is good for his beast,” is fully under- stood by all horsemen from the turf to the farm, from the stable to the saddle. Very- high authorities on the subject of horse? and cattle ailments, ooncur iuythe opinion of General Rufus Ingalls, late Quartermaster- General, U, S. army, who says “St. J ocob’s Oil is the best pain-cure we ever used. It conquers pain.” This department has the custody and treatment; of army horses and inulesfand thousands are treatéd. In 1303 "ISTOIHC fl0T “mus. ouzlrlermasler-Genern and 1304 the Rhine, dry. The "Mm of FM”). hrist in the midét of It was terrible while at calm chat followed he storm. We are in. Verv graphic descrip- :e fishermen tormy night [1. and prob- it the more was a great 3.1] Here is'something ernTMnFrank A. Hale, proprietor of the De Witt House. Lewiston, and the Tontine Hotel. Brunswick, Me. Hotel men meet the world as it comes and goes, and are not slow in sizing people and things up for What they ar Worth. He says that he has lost, father and several brothers and sis- ters from Pulmonary Consumption, “and is himself frequently troubled Qwith colds, and, he i Hereditary often coughs enough , _ to make him sick at Consum Ptlonhis stomach. W'hen- ever he has taken a cold of this kind he uses Boschee’s German Syrup, and it cures him every time. Here is a man who . knows the full danger of lung trou- : bles, and would therefore be most , particular as to the medicine he used. ‘ What is his opinion? Listen ! “ I use nothing but Boschee‘s German . Syrup, and have advised, I presume, " more than a hundred difierent per- sons to take it. They agree with It is estimated that at least a million pounds of rubber are annually used for bicycle tires. The oldest patron of the seductive wheel lives in Connecticut. His name is Michael Cullen. He is 70 yeavs old, and rides daily from his home to his work. «‘Mr. Cullen used to walkJo and from his labor but a. year ago he learned to ride) wheel, and now he glides back and forth with the swiftness of the wind. The dis- _tance betweecn the places is three miles, and it is an exhilarating spectacle to see the old gentleman, his long white hair floating on the breeze, careering like mad along the country road. Mr. Culle, is as Spry and ,hale as most men at 40 years of age, and can easily ride his Wheel at the rate of ten or twelve miles an hour. Clouds.-â€"An Old oomph: who great” glor- ified God by their glad lives was asked, “ And have you never any clouds ‘1” “ clouds I“ said the old woman, “ clouds, why, yes, sir, else where would all the bless- ed slxow‘ers come from 17" An amusing episode in pigeon flying is re- ported from Tours,France. On the23d inst. some 429 pigeons belonging to various socie- ties were conveyed by rail from Tours to La Bonolle, in the Department of the Maine-et~ Loire, where they were released. Only 40 of the birds found their my back to Tours, but in such u, pitiable plight that they were unable to find their respective houses. They were caught in different places and restored to their owners. This circumstance was so unusual that an inquiry was made, and it was discovered that on the Way from Tours to Bonalle the train which carriedthepigeons had taker. inmt a station called Port Boulet a. consignment 01 black Currants, which were placed in the van with the pigeons. The latter had gorged themselves with the fruit to such an extent that only the birds which Came out of the feast comparatively sober Were able to take flight on being released, with the above result. ' “German Syrup; . me thatoit is the best'couygh syrup in the market.” 6) Describes a. feeling pecmiar to persons News. peptic tendency, or caused by change of climate. season 01' life. The stomach is out of order, the head aches or does uoh‘eel right, Qut 9% Sort: seem strained to their utmost, the mind is confused and irritable. This coud‘xtionfiuds an excellent corrective in Hood's Sal‘sapar- rilln, which, by its regulating and toning powerS, soon to the system, and gives thatstrength of mind, nerves, and body, which makes one feel well. Sold by all druggistS- 51: six for $5. Prepared only by 0.1. HOOD 65 CO., Apothecan‘es. Lowell, Mus. n“ as THE. 36%? :00 Doses One Dollar Sarsaparilia Restores Harmony Ham’s The Nerves