Richmond Hill Public Library News Index

The Liberal, 30 Jun 1898, p. 3

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A eyelcdding Jean Ilzrrio and Helen Arnold threw ‘ themselves down (in the grass. under sr’r r-ld ripple tree. in thu orchard. to think of some plan. by which to break the monotony of thcii‘ country life. Jean‘s father was a farmer of mod-« Grate means. Her mother was dead. since. her three sisters were married, Jean. who was the, youngest, remained home and acted as housekeeper for her father and two brothers. Helen Arnold was Jean‘s frinnd. summer at the Barrie. fa rnr. This morning the. two girls sought. the shade. of the apple. trees to keep them cool. while they Searched their brains for some new recreation. "I'here‘s no use waiting for some- thing to turn up any longer." Jean. "two weeks have gone since you bosom Dame and not a thing has happened. to remember your visit by. Now last. year we had our masquerade, and dear old Fido died. and then we kept; that. old tramp one night, don‘t you remem- ber you said we might be entertaining an angel unawares." "\Vall. I would rather nothing would happen than have another old tramp come. along, and we could not spare anything off of the farm to die, not. even your kitten, [or if you are to be . an old maid, of course you must have a cat," said Helen. "Oh! I have it," "we’ll have a wedding; not a commonâ€" place affair. a real novelty, you know. one that will make old Mrs. Jones talk for a year, for we'll send her the first invitation. and her Sary the second one." "A wedding," said Helen. “how can we! \Vho will be the bride. where is the bridegroom. Now, look here. Jean; you are always getting us ' into some scrape, and if this is just a. trick, I'll ” “Don't make any objections now. nor ‘ ask too many questions." interrupted Jean. tions and we will have some fun. first of all, we must. get out the invitaâ€" tions. \‘l'e’ll have to write them our- selves. and we must post them before the mail goes out this afternoon." ! do the girls returned to the house and were soon hard at work writing out: i the invitations. After dinner. when the men had gone back to the hay field, and the dinner work had been done up. Jean and Hel- en started for the postoffice. \Vhen Jean emptied twenty-five let- ters from her shopping bag out on the counter, Mrs. Dean, the postâ€"mistress asked, “Goin' to give another party, Jean? I thought you'd be givin' one before your friend went home.” "I’m just going to entertain a few. of my fri~;nds." answered Jean. who was not anxious to give any more in- formation than she could help boys to your party, Jean 1" added Mrs. Deannoticing the letters were all adâ€" dressed to ladies. llut Jean evaded this question andl said. "Good-bye, Mrs. Dean. I'm glad we who spent several weeks every . said ‘ exclaimed Jean, liliem all about her plans. and Soon had I and . “You just follow my instruc-l Now. ; innr on her invitation to Jean's wedâ€" ?dinu. Bliss Beatrice Gardener. a friend l of Helen’s and Jean's in a neighboring lvilligc was equally sirprised over the. llDVlIltItlil she had received. "l'hat's just liku Jean; she. never 'docs things like anyone else." said Beatrice. “lint the idea of a wedding .imitaiion without the name of tgroonil And there arc. to be. no presâ€" 1ents. Jean always said she would not ‘ :rcccpt presents if shc had a \iPtllllIiLfâ€"- but she always said she was never go- inLt to get: married. tlirls always say that. until they get 21 good chance. I l Wonder why she did not. invite broth- 'e.r Ned; she. surely Cannot expect. me. 'to go alone. Ilut. I've known Jean lung enoquh I ought not. to be surâ€" lprisvd at anything: she. does. and I'll go lif I have to go alouc on my wheel." , In another not. very distant Village Mrs. Harry Randolph. the leader of society in her neighborhOmI. sat. read- ing her invitation when her husband came. in. ' "Harry, here. is the. queerest wedding- invitation I have over scan; Juan liar- rie. is to be married. and the name of th- gromn is not given, and you are rnot invited." 1 "It's strong.» she has asked one of us and not the. other." said Harry "She. must have. known you could not no alone. I thought she was the. girl who I was never going to get. married." "0h." said Mrs. Randolph. "girls are. lalways changing thzir minds. but I‘ll go. for there's a mystery about. this linvitatiun that interests me. aird I can ‘ drive myself. anyway I While. these invitations were thus ,‘stirring up the curiosity in the several homcs until it was bubbling and boilâ€" ing impatient for the. eventful day to ‘arrive. Helen and Jean were, hustling around at home getting everything in i rcadincss. Jean. after persuading her father and brothers to vow secrecy, told them. coaxed into her service. Her father looked after getting,' a turkey . ready for her. and both the boys promâ€" l ised to be near where they could assist ‘the guests from their carriages when thcv arrived, and look after the horses. “Then “'ednesday arrived the girls were too busy to talk much. for "every- thing must be in readiness by two io'clook." they said. The. men came from the lray~fiald for an early dinner. and by twelve o'clock . had gone back. leaving the girls alone. ’ "I wish Jessie h‘ltl come. this morn- ing." Said Jean. Jessie was one of Jean's married sis- ‘tcrs. who was always ready to help when there was a prospect of fun "\Vell. here she is now." called a ‘cheery voice at the. door. “on. Jcss." cried the girls, "we‘re so glad you've come. \\ c're in such a ‘ hurry to get the. tables rcariy and get. oursl-lves dressed, and Mrs. Jones ‘might come anytime. now. She. always makes a point. of being an hour and fifty minutes ahead of time." Sothe girls talked anduorkcd and .wcre just putting on the finishini!‘ touches when Jean.lnukim,r down the road, saw Mrs. Joni-s and “her Sary" y Coming. ‘ “Here comes Mrs. Jones. with .whitc apron on. and with a market. hasâ€" kct, on her arm." she said. 7 Then the three girls fled to Jean's II'OOID. where their costumes were all ‘dressing the remainder of the guests arrived. carts. in spring wagons and on foot. Tom and Fred waited at the front gate to take care of the horses. and Why. ain't you goin' to nsk any ,when the last. one had arrived they disappeared and returned to the hayâ€" fii-ld to resume their work. When the. guests here all seated in the par- Ior, Mrs. Jones, who was sitting next to Mrs. Harry Randolph. after having were in time for the mail. for we want £11195: letters to go as soon as possi~ \thn the contents of the (‘entreville mail of that afternoon had reached its destination. there were puzzled heads in more than one home. When Sarar Joni-s received her invitation she said. “Why, this is Jean Barrie's writing; it must be an invitation to a party, but; it's' addressed toyou andIboih. moth- er l "Why. bless me!" exclaimed BIrs.l Jones, "What can the child want me to her party for. it must be a carpet- rag bee." “Its on invitation to a. weddingâ€"r Jean's going to be married," added the ‘ astonished Sara. “Unodncss gracious. Sar‘y! you must be mistaken. Jean Barrie will neverr get married while her father needs her. Vhy. she won't even look at a boy.l See how she turned up her nose even at our Johnny. and he a-goin' to lief one of the best farmers around Cen-r treville, and get a hundred acres of land to start with; and I’m going to give ’im that Jersey calf if she lives. r and two feather beds, and a patch-w or k quilt." exclaimed Mrs. Jones in onev breath. ‘ "But who's Slli.‘ a goin' to be married toi' Mrs. Jones continued. “I didn't r know as she'd done any couriin'. Let me see the invitation. Sary. Now like< ly that's the. reason that friend of hei“s is stayin' there so long. I saw I them looking at some Calico down at the store the. other day. and Jean said she wanted it to line some quilts with. and Ivv nndered why she. was makin‘ quilts this time of year when the fruit ‘ season is just here." By this time Mrs. Jones had adjusted spectacles and was Scanning the daintr r ily written note. "Now. that's strange," she said. “it don't say who she's to be married to. Bury. that don't read like the invitaâ€" tion your pa'a brother William sent. to us when his Mary Jane was going; to get married. and your pa's brother “'illiam’s invitation wasn't done in. writin’. ’Pcars to me if I was gettin‘ r up an invitation I wouldn't get it up: like. that. and I'd have. it printed in town instead of writin' it. \v'ell Sary, l we'll go. I feel kind of curics about it. ‘ anyway." "It‘s queer now they didn't askl James and our Johnny," added Mrs. Joircs after pausing a few minutes.l "and our Johnny has always been so mannerly towards Jean. \Vcll. we'll I go, Sary. I'm glad she told us in the l invitation she'd take no presents.“ . While. Mrs Jorics was thus mmnrcnt- parlor. Jean is rolled in a green and the thuudorbolt. 'to Iii-r neighbor. sufficiv-ritly scanned her neighbor, .vcntuied to ask if she could tell her ‘thc name of the groom, for She. could not just call it to mind; but. Mrs. Itandolph had also very singularly lor- ‘gotten his name. "I think I siw him this fort-noon." added Mrs. Jones. "'I‘here was a tall citificd looking young teller passed by our lrousc this morning. and I says to Sary, “that's him.’ I could just tell by the looks of him. and he was no- int:r toward Barric’s. I don’t think he would make as good a farmer as my Johnny. H:- kind of looked to me as if he might be :r clcrk in a. store." “Indeed.” said Mrs. Randolph. who, not kiicwing Mr Jones possessed a wonderful power of imagination. sup-, posi'd this was a faithful dcscription of Jean's choice. and did not hesitatc to inform Miss Brat: ice. (la rdcncr that. :aho had just heard Jean was going to marâ€" lry a tall. slim young man, who was a clerk in one of the large. stores in town. Beatrice in her turn told it and by the time it had come round to Mrs. Jom-s again. .lcrln's young:r man had become a. tall, slim, dark-complcxioned young fellow, who was a partner in u large dryâ€" goods establishnwnt. in a notâ€"far-dis« ant city: so that until the appointed hour arrived the guests were Wailing! almost breathlessly for the entrance of tha bridalâ€"party. (.lnly Mrs. Jones ‘ da red break the silence “Now. its strange," she. said. “there ain’t no menâ€"folks come. My Hary wouldn't. think of having a wedding: without no men-folks. I feel just. as if this ought to be a cai'pstâ€"ragâ€"bee or a quiltin'. Say. did you bring: a pres- ent. Mrs. Joncs. “No.” answered her neighbor, "you i know prvsents are not to be accepted." "\Vell. lbrought her a jar of pick- lcs.” added Mrs. Jones. "I was doin’ some down in a brass kettle one dayâ€"â€"« my mother used to own the. kettle. She gm it from I'ncle. Josier when Aunt Marthy died. and say. you ought. '10 see what a purty green that her l to made them pickles; and pickles will come in handy to Jean ‘whtan sh“ mmnrarines housekeeping. Of course if she hadn’t: said she didn‘t want no presents we would have brought some silverware. I kind 0' thought I'd l]:i\t‘ brought. a cruct set. but my Snry, she thought a silver cake basket is awful nice." But. while. Mrs. Jones is thus enter- taining her neighbors. look in Jean‘s . room and behold the. bride, groom and‘ worrlrlessness of clergyman ready to descend to the lht!’ her ' ready for them; and while they were. They came on bicycles. dogâ€". Randolph ’l“ queried Mrs.‘ white plaid silk that her grandmother user] to Wear; llelcn. with her long bruwn lot-ks conccalcd under a wrg mle of sheepâ€"skin, has on Mr. Barrie's long,r dorrbln-lrnvrstml coat, and :rpair of John‘s bicycle. bloomers. while. Jcs- sic. who is to act as clergyman is clad in '1 long white grown \\'h“n all were. ‘Navly another of Joan‘s sisters seated hvrsclf at tho piano a.an just as she Ct)lllln“D(‘0.’I playing.r a wedding march the bride. groom. and clergyman cn- torrid tho rrrmn, mni‘cl’icd slowly to one corner \i here an arch of i'Vcrgrrmis had been made. and thI-ra they took their stand. “ Illcss me. said. Mrs. Randolph and several laughed. Mrs. Jones' Sary lookod stuâ€" pified. Mrs. Dean looked like. the vioâ€" t.im of a rtiupe. ’I'hcn tllc clergyman proceeded with a serioâ€"comic cermnmiy of her own coni~ position, and after pronouncing the con- tracting parties bound together she turnout to tllr‘ guests and asked them to postpone their good. Wislms and (‘on- gratulations until some. future day, and ]il‘l)(‘(\0tl9d immediater to the din- ing-rnom, and lhc' tlrrnc girls leading the way. thc. guests all followed to where the. dainty ropast was awaiting .thI-rnr. Much ineriirncnt was indulng in during the nrcal. after which Jean. Ilcl- on and Joan slim-(rd. away to don their ordinary apparel. and. returning, sct. Ibo work to cutlertnin their guests. The. afternoon slipped quickly away for all but Mrs. Jones. The joke wont h'll‘t'l with hcr. Early in the afternoon she went in quest of her jar of pickles and her Spry and toga-thnr they beat. a hasty retreat, Mrs. Jones saying to herself as «he pasSmI through the gate, “\Vell. I be. an' ole fool anyway." râ€"Inea Turner, was all Mrs. Jones Realtor], Ont. EARTH'S MILLIONS. H A l'nlncrunl ('nuns Io Hr ‘l‘nkcn for the ll‘lrsl Time. The enormous diffi ~ulty of taking the census of the world’s inhabitants.wlrich it is proposed to publish at Borne in llllll. becomes apparent when one con- siders that at lcast two-LIIIIIIH and. perâ€" ham. threeâ€"quarters of the inhabitants of our planct lauds none of which has yet bcen civilized. and many of which still rcniain in a. condition of dwell in savagery. Yet the purpose. is as fir as prnslble. to includc in thc. enumeration every human bcing on whom the. sun vrises on a particular day in the ycar 1900. Explorers and census takers are to be to every available point on the globe for the purpose. Such is tlli: scheme. An attempt has recciilly been made totake a. complete. census of Russiannnd this Si‘nl It ltoks impracticable. ,will aid lhc new undertaking immense- 1y. During his tour in Europe l,.i Hung Chang became interested in the proposâ€" ed census of the world, and it is as» serted. promised his co operation and Iassisiance in the work. China forms the greatest factor of guncertainty in estimating the popula- tion of the. globe. Estimates of the number of inhabitants of China vary sometimes by one or two hundred irritâ€" lions and even the. population of the chief cllicts can only be guessed at. no, two Africa. presents an enormous- field if mysteries and difficulties. .Hstim- ates of its total population are cori- siantly varying,r because. explorersfre- .uurini I)‘ come upon knots and centers of population the real extent of which is runkuown. The most careful statistic.- ians admit that llreir estimates of the population o1 Africa may be as much as CiUiltlUttlll out. of ll. W's-st of llllIiZl are the vust lands that Alexander overâ€" rran iii his Ct.nquestâ€"Afuhanistan. Perâ€" sin and Turkey in Asia. How many scores of millions or even hundreds of linillions may they not contain“! Many of :hc uplands of Persia aru. praclical< jly unknmr n to the civilized world. but Illic‘v can support. a great. population lNo onc knows how many people Ara- ‘bia cuntains. No onc knows how many .l‘lsquinraux ilhl‘l‘l‘ilit‘,1I\\'L‘IIIIIK in the lands- of eter- nal icc that. encircle the north pole; many of the islands of lhc. vast. I’acb lfic swarm with inhabitants living. on ,thc t:p.~-n bounty of nature. whose free and careless life has captivated the lIll- ‘au'in iiion of hinth cultivated llll‘ll like Lobnrt Louis Stevenson. and when the lcvnsus is coniplrcted. if it proves prac- itablc what will it probany show the 'total population ()I tlic globe to be? r l l r l r l l r . ...........-.. .__ l l , ; I.()t‘t)."l()'l'lVI‘f SEARCH-LIGHTS. l r The arc liphl. is being tricd in locow 1rnolive headlights. This constitutes a truc searclpliulrt. On one road in the llVest the current. is derived from a ‘dynmno which is actuatcd by a steam turbine. It is thought that thc powcr- er light may be. utilized lln' .ji [llt‘ullH of signalling from the engine. to stalions‘ .far in advance. I A BACIH‘II') (‘HNCER'R r Mrs. llillson. Sunday cvcningâ€"(‘an't you go into player “Mulng \\ it hi me to- night! 1 Mr. Iiillsonâ€"â€"linpossi|rle. any (lcar. I proruiscd Jiruson that I would go with him to a sacred concert. r \\'ell. I'll go thcrc with you. [Tin-«I believe. ladies are. not admit- ! led. r _.___ r LIGHTNING RODS. A livliining specialisl maintains that rods are no protection, and that most precautions taken by people to keep out of the path of a possible. electrical discharge. are. useless. 'l'lic recent wonderful (IISJ'L'VGI’IPS iii relation to the lnalure of electrical force prove the the lightning rod, toward disarming Lut offer nothing others. J 9 h 1 ‘ e i'y A SUNKEN CITY OVER WHOSE SPIRES WAR SHIPS FLOAT. For Two (‘cnlnrle-s I'm-t Royal Ilals illnnn lu'rcd iti-nrnlll llll' IEIIIP ['RE‘HHH‘IIII. ‘01 Porn Now In Cnlm “call-er Hei- Suh- mcrgml Building-i Why Be seen In in.- I‘I-yslul IM-plh. There. is little of poet ry in wrr. The gentle muses wing tlrcrr flight before the dcafcning riiai‘ of cannon and the rattle. of musketry. The newspaper «or- respondents in Southcrn waters are too the stern realities which busy with confront. tllt‘lll to [my much hen-t to, which uhder other Circumâ€" inspire them to dainty bits of descriptive writing. my Imaut ics stances might we. shall 'I'«» illirst ralo point All EHAIIE." wincss and will furnver keep its .lwa-I 501815. The .~hru'k rune close tin to nilrldziy. The arr was hit. ‘llld sultry. lh‘ ~iky was without ‘I. clcuvl A great stillness secured to hover over the Olly .rnd then. without warning. ’l'lll‘f ICAR'I'II 'I‘RI‘INIHIJCI) ; Men and women left. their houses and 'rzrn Into the streets. only to moat death Ill tho mwels of the. earth or in lihi‘ hidden recesses of the sea. in h..s " Annals of Jamaica.“ publish- :wl lil IRL’R Rev. George Wilson Bridges lquatcs from a letter written by one of the survivorsâ€"a rectorâ€"t up or three days after the disaster. which is. in part. as follows:â€" Al'lcr I had been at church read- ing. which I did every day since lwas rector of this pl‘u‘c, to kcep up some islrmv of religion, and was gone. to a place hard by the ihlirch wlicm the merchants meet and where tho Pre- sldmrt. of tha (‘ouncil was“. who came llIli'!) my company and engaged ma to ltaké‘ a l l r l quote from a despatch dated from HI‘HS 1:1 Wornmoml “mu, m; a Kin stxrn J'iin'iic'i “ For two davs' ‘Vhpr lmmn dmuer' h“ I.)mng.iny very g- -' « l ‘gnorl friend, I stayed Wllll him. upon writes this correspondent. "our dcs-rwhirh 11.x lighted a. pipe, of tobacco, patch boat has been lying hr-re in the beautiful harbor of Kingston. Under the clear blue. water a few Inthnris bo- nealh her kcel sleeps the sunken city of Port Royal. Not a stone's throw from our lzoal a red buoy swings and rocks in tho mnonlighl. It marks the. lel whore tin,- lllll city's cathedral sank and whcrn the. spurs still reaches up nearly bu the surface." That was all. That was thvi only re- ference to a subject. rich in historical lore. and the. possibilities of unwritten romance. IIo'W little is known of the, mysterious city beneath the waves of Kingston harl'or, a city which atonce suggests tho hidden Wonders of fabled Atlantis. which Jules Verne has deâ€" SCI‘IIHV'I with such a wealth of imagery in his "Twenty Thousand Leagues Inâ€" der thc But Atlantis w.” probâ€" ably a myth. \vhiln Port Royal is not. The traveller who visits the capital of Jamaica should pray for clear weathâ€" er. without. wind. \thn the the. harbor is ruffled by breezes the. hidden city is obscured from View. But on a cloridluss, still day, when the surâ€" face of Ibis sea is pcrtet‘tly smooth. the ruins of THE PHANTOM CITY may be plainly seen in the depths of the transparent water. The spire of the old cathedral is the most. prominent objmit. In the water you can see Ihe fishes. swimming in and out among the ruin- ed turrets, more suggestive of owls and bats than of the finny inhabitants of the sea. Occasionally glimpses can to lrnd of the ruins of other buildings â€"bLiilrlings which for more thin two centuries have, kept their ghaslly sec~ rets and Will keep them until the end of lime. ' Ihm'n there. in that peaceful depth. lie the bones of three thousand men. women and children. carried down in« to the sea. with their homes on that awful June day in “NJ. An quake. suddenly ant.l wrthiut warning. Sea." .snrme the profliguto- city of Port Roy- al. which slid into th»; sea. The waters; opciicd and swallowed it up. and there licricath the. silent wzives was hidden the. wickedness and debauchery of a community described by historians as Leing almost without parallel. ’l'lr- survivors said it was Ilrc vcn- geancc of tlod. and Iikcned it to the deâ€" bt ructiun of Sodom and (loumrrah. And in \cry trth the history of the cin secnrs to show the unccasirig wrath of divine power. lr'iuru the richest city of its limo it has dwindled into riifii‘an'e. until now it is a “lost \\ l‘clt'll- cl place, used only as a naval station. IJisasicr after disaster has over taken it. After the earthquake the. town was r‘cbujlt. only to be completely destroy-i cd by fire in 1703. On August 23:3. 1722. it was swept. into the sea by a hurri- cane, It was once more reconstruct- ed. but again. in IRIS, it. was reduced to ashes, and 11s l‘w‘t‘lltl)’ as Ilith it was visited by aiinlhcr hurricane. I‘Iv- tllh'll..\t..'l' was attended by GREAT LOfiS OIf LIFE. The. cin of Port Royal was originally built upon a narrow strip of land ex- tending; out into the sea. which acâ€" counts for its strange disappearance at [liv- time. of tlic earthquake. Like the‘ house of the foolish iriaii of ltibliczil lore which was buildcd upon the sniid.it literally slid Illln tlre- water when the earthquake shock came. l‘revious to that fateful seventh day of June, 1632. I’ort Itoyal had known as “the. finest. town in tlrc World." It was. as it now is, a Ilrilish colony. but there “as little either in its gvrvernnicnl or its customs of Ilriâ€" 1tish morality. We are [old that it. was a place. of lu.\uriou.~i debauchury; that in their excesses the colonists rivallcd the prufligates of ancient. Rome. liuccann-ering and piLacy were recog- Iii/.I‘JI industrics. The trcasure strips of Spain were legitimate prey. The riches ‘of Mexico and l’cru “crc levied upon and the people of Jamaica were. literâ€" ally rolling in wealth and splendor. Vice and debauchery held sway. [lacâ€" chanalian revels which might put to lecn's. whilhl-r I was imitcd, whose. of nightly occurrence. There was no virtue. And like the crack of doom the earthquake. ThrI thunder of III" elements sounded in the ears of the heredless revellers. The wii 4 h opened in great fissures, and closz again like the jaws of a niiu'htv trap. And in closing it gripped many of its victims in the middlc. leaving their hands above ground. Then crime the. awful sliding. grinding noise, as the city. built upon its foundation of sand, sank into the caressing embrace. of llrc sea. which forever closed upon its wickâ€" ivn ter of i clear' lazily 3 cart lrâ€" ‘ insig‘. Ilk’t‘ll‘ ca me ‘ which he was pretty long in taking. and not" Leing willing to leave him llmfore. it was out. this determined ma Lfrunr going to dinner to on»: (‘aptnln Rodnn's. whither [was invited, whose house. upon the. first concussion. sunk into the earth and then into the sea, with his wife and family, and some What were come to: dine. with llllllv Had ‘I been there I had been lost. But to .rnturn to the. President. and his pipe of Illlltlt co; before. that. was out I found lib-u. unnuan rolling and moving under tiny fer-t. upon which I said unto him. _" Imrd. sir, what is that 5' He replied, .lming a very grave man. ‘It is an iearthrpi'ike. Be not afraid; it will soon ‘lxe nver."' Despite. the President's assurance. he (lisam‘cared, and was never heard of again. Continuing. the rector wrote: "I made, toward Morgan's Fort. be- lcause I thrusrht to be thvre securast. lfr’im falling hoqu, but as I was go- :ing [saw the earth open and swallow lup 'i multitude of people, and the sea lniounting in uion th-unr river the for- .tificativina. Moreover. the large and famous burying ground was destroy- :ed. and the {ca wash-id away the car- lcases. The. hfiil'l‘fir‘ was covered with ’dead Indies. floating up 'llld down." â€"â€"_..â€"____ i I THE PHONOGRAPHIC CLOCK. Evlls and Benefits of an Invention Just Put on lire ‘liirkel In Germany. modern inventions are '1 boon ‘to burn-inin ind other-x are not. The . phonographir: clock \vlrt' b has just been I'Iunr lied upon rha nrirket in Germany the Some lettings to I'IIIflI‘ category. One must admit the alarm clock in the theory of ulrderir life. tut apli‘mOgH- phic clock adds in<ult to injury. If one must be wakcned. one must; but how one turn over and. lake the finil luxurious forty winks when the depressing programme of a bu‘j.‘ day (‘dfl has TYQ‘HI shrut -d into one's ears? i'llrings th'll. seemed natural and praoâ€" ‘ticable the night before present an appalling front in the errly morning; and the. breakfast haul, announer in strident tones. is much more insistent than when suggested by an impersonal metallic ulang. , dome valui'clo possibilities the new invention does possess. The housewife needn’t lilmriausly i'XpI‘dIll details to the serv‘rnts at night. and find the next morning that all ‘portanl points hive been conscientious- ‘ly forgotten. She sets the. phonogra- phic al'i rm for an early hour, talks dl< rectinns into it, and the. next morning the cock is wakenr-tl by :i stern voice telling her exactly whit is. expected of her in regard to breakfast prepara- tron. l’aterl'zrmilias. too. can work the cumâ€" bin-iiion. No more will he sit up until his pretty daughter’s callcr goes horns Lind remrt to timeâ€"honored Illlltn' to hasten the departure. He will not slam shutters and noisily lock doors and bid the mh‘r members of the family iu'e'ik fast im- good niglil at the top of his voice and drop his shoes on tho be'lrnuin 1floor with :1 force Illll. shakes ‘rlm ,parlor chandeliers, rind cull down to .-t.hu «I‘iughter‘ llrii she must be. care- i flit about turninu,r off the gas and 1 locking the door. He will never be gnarled by a Sense of parental duty into rwalking‘ into the. parlor and making la scene and reducine,r the daughter to {1 point of tears Oh. no: he will simpâ€" ly set the phonogruphic. alarm for lire. liuur w hen he. thinks young:r men should end their calls. l‘lrui he. wrll go se- renely to bed; and v. heir llit‘ fatal hour lsirike a spcnirncn of the uld gcnlluc imen's finest irony .\ ill be ‘uui Tell :it the offending guest. Evil young Ill'lll I‘h». lmriiden \vrrrthl‘ully weeps :ilouc. . h . 4,3» A Cleveland girl had a quarrel with ‘thc young: man to whom she was cn« grilled. Now. \v hcri they piss |“lt'll rilli< ‘elr iii the street, he stares :ll be! with fan expressionlcss. glassy eye And no .\vundc.r; for \\Il"n he sent a request for the return of Ill‘i engagement ring. sh:- firwarzlcd it to him, with '1 cird ‘bcaring lhcser words: " Iil:is.\'â€"â€"\vil I) lcui'c.' .\ it‘ll'TI‘JIIll from Vienna. U‘i‘i‘l\i"l ‘Il' ‘ t: ltlrv suburban l . . . 3 Walduck. lIlI irnrcd liiiii that It \\‘1\lllr| lililciitlou OI tun lrlii‘uliirs, lll't‘lt‘llrllilfl to N insurance agents. to call an Iron. It‘.Si‘t"Il('t‘ of (‘ount do r'l'hé.l police rct‘ehed llll‘ visi‘m» rill thcv “crc iiirpiis'rnv-nt. lhei \"t‘l" walâ€" ly insurance agents. ".>;:!'n~l‘llllii;..' 1 New York t'fillll"lll\. " he legixinr .is la trick of a in il company. I ___ A GEN l‘I.I-.' HINT. l'icu is my turn: of .il'c. I sin-1r il t’lllt‘i-flllt :u'lr is no. valid unâ€" your ; lieâ€"Your sitc >t I til you Ilin't‘i kl\\\'ll lllr- livi-rlh

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