The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

At a Highland gathering one Donald McDonald had entered for ,a number of events. The first of mlxese was the quarter-mile, and of Fight runners he was last. “Don- ,ald, Donald,” cried a partisan, 5"why did ye no run faster 2” Don~ ",ald sneered. “Run faster!” he Gaid, contemptuously. “And me ircservin’ myself for the bagpipe Eompetition 3” bad Blobd Dr. Morse’s fndian Root Pills It Keeps the Muscles Pliant. - ‘,Men given to muscular sports and {exercises and those who suffer munf Fular pains from bicycle riding wilfi ‘Ifind Dr. Thomas' Eclectric 0i iomething worth trying. As a Iu-3 .flricant it will keep the muscles pli- ble and free from pains, which 014‘ ,en follow constant use of t.hcm,_ without softening or impairing. their strength. For bruises, sprain: find contugiqu 1p _i§_wjthqut a peer.’ fILES CURYBVafTIOME by New Absorption Method If you suffer frombleeding, itchâ€" ng, blind or protruding Piles, send; in your address, and I will tell: on how to cure yourself at home: by the. new absorption treatment; land will also send some of this. home treatment free for trial, with, ’references from your own locality: fif requested. Immediate relief and; ermanent cure assured. Send no‘ money, but tell others of this of»; fer. Write to-day to Mrs. M. Sum-f mers, Box P. 719l Windsorl Ont. Visitor-~“Can you tell me where ML Greencorn’s cottage is?” Country Youthâ€"â€"“I can for five cents. Visitorâ€"“Here you are; now. where is it?” Country Youth â€"â€"“It’s burned down.” inks have been measured that reâ€" quired fofiywne-thousandths of a se- 'cond more time. For these measura ments especially arranged photo- graphic apparatus is required, and then when a bit of white paper is laced on the eyelid its motions can e accurately determined. In a quiek wink the closing of the eye has been found to requlre seventy~flve one- thousandths of a second. the rest twice as long and the opening one hundred and seventy-one one-thoug- mdths of a second. fi+++++++++++¢+++++++++ : WORN, WORRIED MOTHERS. 1 The Monday ministers’ meeting has yielded a new story. A clergyman in order to avoid unnecesanry calls with- drew his name from the telephone book. Soon a lumber merchant with a similar name complained that the cans came to him. The clergyman mgretted his inability to do anything in the matter. The next parishioner who called up the lumbonnan was requested to go to another climate and not "interrupt Iny sermon." The closing or the eye. the rest and the opening of it have been measured nd are found to consume three hun- {red and ninety-five one-thousandth: )i a second. This is a quick >wipk, and The clergyinan‘é name is now print- ed in the book. +H++++++H+tt+++~tf+i w- -.... .wu “nun-u; vu us: bowels. regulating them-~on the Hdnen, 3 via: them one and Itrength to properly filter the blood ~â€"and on the skin. opening up the ores. For pure blood and good ealth take is the direct and inevitable rasuli of irregular or constipated bowel- nnd clogged-up kidneys and skin. The undigested i’ood and other waste matter which is allowed to Accumulate poison. the blood and the whole system. Dr. Horse‘s In- eian Root. Pil‘ls‘gct ditgctly on the Much of the worry which every mother of young chil- dren undergoes would be spared if the mother kept Baby’s Own Tablets on hand and gave an occasional dose when the child was fretful, cross or feverish. Nearly all the ailments of childhood can be traced to the stomach, bowels or teething. For these troubles no medicine can equal Baby’s Own Tablets, and the mother has the guar- antee of a government ana- lyst that, the Tablets are ab- solutely safe. Mrs. Ed. Sud~ dard, Haldimand, Que., sa.ys:~â€" "I have used Baby’s Own TabXets in my home for a long time and always with the best results. I do not know how I could get along without this medicine.” Sold by medicine dealers or by mail at 25 cents a box from The Dr. Williams’ Medicine 00., Brockville, Ont. RESERVIN’ HIMSEL A mean Revenge. A Quid; Wink. PLACING THE EMPHASIS. “You don’t. know what that’s a picture of, Johnny,” said Mrs. Lapâ€" sling, in a tone of reproof. “You ought to read your ancient history more. That is the temple of Dinah at Emphasis.” ‘ Give Hollowfiifé Corn Gun 5. itrial. It removed ten come from‘. one pair of feet without any pain. What it. has done once it will do‘ again. ' “Well, that is not very hard to remedy. But how on earth did you do it, child?” “You have an enormous appe- tite,” said a thin man enviously. “What do you take for it?” “In all my experience,” repk'ved his plump friend, "I have found no- thing more suitable than food.” West Fort William. Nov. 7th, 1908 "I have been'troubled with a lame back for the past twanty years and have used plasters and ointmenta without effect. As last. I tried Gin Pills. which proved jusa fihe thing, and I would highly recommend ihem to anyone who has a. strained or flame back.” H. HARKNESS. ‘ Gin Pills not directly on the kldneya--~ Felieveu the pn£n~~neuuallzca uric acid. which is generally formed when there is ,kidney trouble. Marion, who has been taught to report her misdeeds promptly, came to her mother one day, sobbing penitently‘ ‘ v ‘ Escalloped Oysters.â€"-Put in a buttered dish a thin layer (5f bread crumbs, then a layer of oysters. then layer 0E bread crumbs until dish is full, having the last layer bread crumbs; salting‘ and pepper- ing each layer. Put over this one cup of melted butter, bake in mod- erate oven. These are much su- perior to those cooked in the old way. Write Murine Eve Remedy Co. Chicago, {or “page illuetmted Eye Book Free Write an about, Your Eye Trouble Ind filmy will advise as to the Proper Applies} “on of the Murine Eve Remedial; in YourI SpeciaJ Case. Your Draggth will an you that Murine Relieves Sore Eyes. Strength! on! Weak Eyes. Doesn't Smart. Boothe Eye Pin. and sells for 500.. Try It i Your Eyes and in Baby's Eye. for Ben! Eyelids ind. Granulation. “IV pounded it with father’s watch.” Oyster Pio.â€"â€"Put one quart. of oyâ€" sters with their juice in double boiler, add large lump of butter, in cup of boiling water, and salt and pepper to taste. Let cook until outer edge of oyster shrivels, then thicken with a little flour thicken- ing, and cook two or three minutes to thicken gravy. Pour this in pud- ding dish lined with rich pie crust, and cover top also with crust; let cook in quick oven about twenty minutes, until it is a golden brown on top, and serve hot from table. “Mothérâ€"â€"~I~broke a brick in the fireplace.” Sometimes a man’s Wisdom is due to the possession of a clever wife. “The pillar, John? Good ghciéu’s, the pillar! Why: it’s two years since it was removed from the front of your mat!” « I Try Gin Pills yourself before buying the regular 500. boxes. Write National Drug h Chemical 00., (Dept. W L) Toronto. for: free sample. “A unwind noun" ll file 0 of tartar“! lupin: more . Give them more: I: the form at A110"! Luna 111mm, which in and with such ood ofl'ect, even in oonaumpcion‘s Barty nag“. our angle“ a cough. Henry VIII. after the death of Jane Seymour had some difficulty in get.- ting another wife. His first offer was to the Dowager Duchew of Milan, but. her answer is said to have been: "I have only one head. If I had two, one should certainly be at his ser- wee." “Heavens, man ,you can’t have seen me becaqu I sit‘behin‘d the pillar 1" much as flfiding half a worm'! A minister in Cornwall who was making a call upon a member of his flock who was a backslider asked: “What’s come over you that I don't aeglou at church at all now?" "Don’t you hate to find a worm whep eatipgflfmjtf’ff “Wank not so "If I were to speak to you of mar- xiage, after having only made your acquaintance three days ago, What wogldyou sgy oririt?“ "Well, I sfiould say never put off till todnorrow that which should have been done the day before yesterday." A gentleman who had been in Chi- cago only three days, but who had been paying attention to a prominent Chicago belle, wanted to propose, but was afraid he would be thought too hasty. He delicately broached the supiect as follows: HOW SHE BROKE IT. GURED HIS LAME BACK. She Valued Her Head. Free to Our Readers. Given Away. OYSTERS. Worse Still. He Popped. in TNU “I’m afraid, madam,” said a gentleman, who was looking for apartments, “that the house is too near the Station to be pleasant.” “It is a little noisy,” assented the landlady, “but from the front winâ€" dows one has such a fine view of people who miss the trains,” she added, with an air of triumph. WAITING FOR THE LAWYER. A couple of_ pickpockets followed a gentleman jgr spme blocks with EAL, a view of availivrigfithemselves of the first opportunity to relieve him of his purse. He suddenly turned into a lawyer’s ofiice. “Let me see,” said the minister, when filling in the marriage certi~ ficate and forgetting the date, “this is the fifth, is it not '1” “No, sir,” said the bride, with some indigna- tion, "this is only my third.” something about it.” “Martin,” the minister went on, “this dreadful business lies be- tween you and me. We are the only two who have access to the missionary box. Either you or I must be the thief.” Martin nodded. “It’s just as you say, sir,” he agreed. “Only you and me has ac- cess to the box, and I think the best way out of it’ll be for you to pay oneâ€"half and I pay the other, and just say no more about it.” "on"! DIN-I nvuu- - vv-u “avâ€".4, _._._ 7,,V, , , tear holes in your throat. Are you “um um even a. ggubqu Ami lr‘mg nsglectod cold is ound Pleasant as syrup; not-hing equalg it as a. worm medicine; the name} a Mother Graves’ Worm Extermin-‘ tor. The greatest worm destroyer of the age. "What; shall one. “ T0 CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY Take LAXA'I‘IVE BROMO Quinlno Tablet; Druggisu refund money i! it fails to euro. 3. W. GROVES signature I: on each box. 250. It’s a whole, lot better to be sure of your ground than to have a lot line dispute afterwards. an an .u-w...v._ _.__. 3m Allon'a Lung Balaai’mr ‘gl‘s‘fl'ait for the lawyer," said the other. About the most superfluous thing we know of is the fancyâ€"work on a, pair of suspenders. The old man had served the church faithfully for many years, but, alas! money had been missed from the collecting boxes of late, and he was suspected of knowing something about it. At last the minister felt ‘compélled to tackle him on the subject. Costiveness and its Curerâ€"-When: (the excretory organs refuses to per form their functions properly the intestines becomes clogged. This is known, as costiveness and if magi {lected gives rise to dangerous com- plications. Parmclee’s Vegetable {Pills will effect a speedy cur. At the first intimation of this ailment lthe sufferer should procure a pack- et of the pills and put himself un- vdm a course of treatment. Thq :good effects of the pills will be al-‘ most immediately evident. “Yes,” replied the old man im- perturbably, “I’ve been aâ€"hearin’ something about it.” “Martin, havé you heard of money that is missing from box?” he said. All Woman Know VI!“ in is to 11170 violent» pain. Home tat. one thin 3nd ID. anothor. Our ud- vice is to place “’ e D h L" Menthol Plaster over the seat of the pain; it will do more to give you comfort than anything. :Don’t Coughlâ€"Use; Month thr Kong: a poldlnfloks, “4 non" M 7- _A_ _â€"-â€"n Ah-‘ m. 3251 mm“ to: (6mm Will instantly relieve your aching throat. There is nothing like it for Asthma, Bronchitis and lung troubles. Contains no opiates. Very plggngnt to take. NIVVER A WURRD. All Druggisu, 25 can“. we do now?” asked ISSUT N0. 3-19. the the The Sonâ€"“You shouldn’t believe 3.11 your hear, dad. I’ll introduce you to a man who Will tell you an- other story.” The Fathe1'â€"â€"“And who is he ?” The Son~-“My‘ tailor. He says I’m the slowest chap he’s got on his books.” “Has my boy been kind to dumb animals to-day'l” “Yes, grandma; I let your canary out of the cage, and when my cat caught it, I set Towser on hér.” Time tries all things, and as iBickle's Anti-Consumptivo Syrup has wood the test of years it now {ranks as a. loading specific in the wreatment of all ailments of the throat and lungs. It will soften and subdue the most stubborn cough by relieving the irritation, and re- ;store the affected organs to healâ€" ;thy conditions. Use will show its value. Try it and be convinced of its eficacy. The Fatherâ€""I learn with sor- row, my son, that you are getting to_be what tl}9y terrmrquite fast.” Simple Home-Made Remedy That is Free From Opiates and Harmful Drugs. An effective remedy. that will usually break up a. cold in twenty- four hours, is easily made by mix- ing together in a. large bottle two ounces of Glycerine, a. half-ounce of Virgin Oil of Pine compound pure and eight ounces of pure Whisky. This mixture will cure any cough that is curable, and is>notz expensive, as it makes enough to last the average fumin an entire year. Virgin Oil of Pine compound ure is prepared only in the labora- tories of the Leach Chemical 00., Cincinnabt. Ohio. Pity the sorrows of the man'who has a disagreeable boss in the of- fice and another at home. A well-known judge fell down a flight of stairs, recording his pas- sage by a bump on every step until he reached the bottom. A servant ran to his assistance, and raising him up, said, “I hope your honor is not hurt ’1” “N0,” said the judge spernly, "my honor is not hurt, but my head is.’ “Sure, air, it would be me,” promptly replied Pat. “And Why is that?” “Bedad, the crafty old gentle~ man is shure of you at ony toime.” Relief for the Depressedâ€"Physi- cal and mental depression usualkv' have their origin in a disordered state of the stomach and liver, aq‘ when these organs are deranged im their action the whole system is ufu fected. Try Permelee’s Vegetable} Pills. They revive the digestive, processes, act beneficially on the; nerves and restore the spirits as no other pills will. They are cheap simple and sure. and the effects an; An American and an Englishman, walking through a town in Ireland, were discoursing upon the pro- verbial wit of the Irish. The Am- erican expressed some doubt as to whether it was as smart as it was generally believed to be, so they determined 'to test the next passerâ€" by. Accordingly the following dia- logue took place: “Pat,” said the American, “if the devil were to come along now which would he take first, you or me ’2” lastâ€"ins. Miss Gayâ€"“I had an awful scare the other day while out for a walk with Will.” »Miss Chicâ€"“How ?” VMiss Gayâ€"“Why, we met the minister, and Will asked him to join us.” HIOIIOMHII In All unis are friends of Pan. killer. Hundreds 01 letters testify to the fut. For accidents and sudden omergonciol. much u aprailns, out: sud braille:2 they find it invaluable. Avmd substitutes, than 1.1 but one “ Painkiller ', ~Perry Davis'»-256 “(15700. FILES CURED IN 6 T0 l4 DAYS. PAZO OINTMEN’I‘ in £13,1-“th to cure any name of Itching, Mimi. leadingr or Protruding l‘ilos In 6 to 1 days or many refunded. 500. A GOOD COUGH MIXTURE. DESERVING OF PITY. UP TO STANDARD. FAST AND SLOW. HIS HEAD WAS. FIGURATIVELY. nvl uu-un‘JHVI TKI LAWREXLIOE-WILLIAMS 00‘ “Very distantly,” replied Tho- mas. “I was me mother’s first childâ€"Barney was th’ sivinteenth.” "Are you related to Barney O’Brien ’1” Thomas O’Brien was once asked. The famous new discovery of the age, positively, quickly, completely relieve: and cures Goitre, Thick Neck, Sciatica, Swellings, Bunions, Quinsy, etc. $1.00, or6 for $5.00, mailed on receipt of price by LYLE MEDICINE 00.. Toronte. Do you trap or buy Furs? lam Canada a largfieat dealer. I ay hig estprices. our shlpmeuts solicited. 1 pay mail and ex- press charges- remit gromptly. Also largest dealer in Beefbides. hue kins, etc. Quotations and shipping tags sent me. 9 MARLMT’ systemonsmnt practice; careful instruction; few weeks complete course; {tools free: graduates earn twelve eighteen dollars weekly; write for cat:- logue. Molar Barber 0011920121 Que: “Eat, Tax-onto. HOR§E QWNERS! USE ‘VANTEDâ€"LOOAL AND GEHERAD Agentsâ€"Liberal contracts to good men; apply by letter. Communal Life Insurance Company. Toronto. Correspon- l‘nnnn Anna)-..“ _ 1 dance confidential. 50¢. & SI per bottle, 98 Biathumt Sh ‘ ANT do home; $7 wool, etc. Shinthwmce the Domix am. 0:29. C‘éKfis l 'bJ" 'o?Ӥe“1f“sto‘ci; $i11‘?€cۤ%. :3} persona, attention. 8. M. Mathews. Brokv er. 45 Scott. Sn. Toronoo. ‘ ' bfie 0': we may offhan‘c'fis'cfi‘k'éi [u use throughout the world. W it Logue. General Acoustic (20., 0! 5.15.5: Ina VAI‘u- Errand» mn-nn‘n EODINOL To INVESTORSâ€"«YOUR. 011135313. To hnv nr cn'll anr-lrn mm "manna mv MBI’I‘IOUS ropreswtatinn wanted In every locality to sell "Modern" ave-5 :ialtiea. Secure your terrimrv now "Turnl ,ime intg coId."_ 35:00 to $10.09 a db! can JOHN HALLAM TORONTO e easilyf made: Writertnr-hi}.«VOderm tnot}: 00‘ of Canada. Owen Sound. Ont. now open. Enter any Mme. Your trainmg will be thorough and will bring you excellent results if secured at the British- maria.» I!!Sl_"2!§__?_01‘0§9, Write for git-{1710377113 Y anger Streeh’l‘ormiéé. A flavoring used the sum as lmpn or nailingl B; dissuhlnx granulated sugar :1! wntur an 5 din: Mapleiae, a delicionl aqu is made and a syrup better than mu 1e. M lemoiu sold bx grocers. If not lend 0c for on. home In mam»; emewmgongu. M31315. DISTANT RELATIONSHIP. V, .7." __ 7 dcéayed restorehlost Quits); Its use ' parent an war 0 that new : consumgtioâ€"nz RESTORED BY PSYCHINE. " PSYCHXNE " has restored thousands of peopic to buowa health and strength whose condition had beemcgarded 55 hope- less. It is a tonic and flesh-builder, con- mining rem-EB e properties as a blood urifier and germicida. It will strengl en una 5.31 the weak lungs, (35:: out the Ehlcgm, and drive Ile the cough. no matte: p! _139\fi_lqgg__sunding. WEAK LUNGS W‘V‘VPSYCHINE“ tones “up the whole system _and drive? out disgue. heal. tpe EARN T111577quan TRADEâ€"NEW ' do machine knitting far us 3‘ :9; $7 to 810 per week endlv earned: 1, etc., furnished tree: distance I) Nance. For fun panic-Mer with”? gogninlou Knitting 00.. Dept. W.. Orfl n . ow: FORJNE nanâ€"m‘gqpulsncon Ann 1“ I n mnr‘vn‘n A: L Write for {Ergo Sample. For Sub by I! Emit Dede". 50:. I 81 StoeIeJBx-ixés Sud Co‘ ANTED â€"_ RELIABLE PARTIES T9 NEW TERM \j.u';c.A'.:aIJg.‘,“ro Homo" AGENTS WANTED EDUCATIONAL '1'. M. 'WATSON, Prinolnal. STOCKS. Ralso Thom Without Illlh Booyleg Free. .. van“ in. arm. I I lusun our nu. Ramon: all hunche- from u o rs - -. Impouu'bl- to moan. am or bland-h. Bond to: dealing!" areal-n. CAUSTIC BALSAM. [ha '1'. A. 8 UK LIMHED. _ TDRBNTO .. L:¢.’T5£J£éo.:on GON BAUL’I'I Si HAIR P'ro'nidtéi- Toronto, On. KEEN u, Toronto. 1.,